I slapped him...

K

kittylicious

New Member
we were having a fight over something trivial..somehow i got so temperamental and i launched into an endless tirade of how i've suffered throughout the relationship... next thing i knew was that he packed my things and wanted to breakup and i tried to stop him and he pushed me aside i got so agitated and i lost control and i slapped him real hard...
i dont know what came over me.. i didnt stop and i started to destroy all the things i gave him.. since he wanted to return it back to me...
the rest was history...

now i'm filled with regret and remorse.. and guilt...

can i still fix this? i know he will never forgive me....
 


P

powderful07

New Member
If you know he will never forgive me then why bother fixing it then?

But please do try to adopt my Toto mentality...
Got buy still got chance...
No buy no chance at all...

Swallow your pride; curb your temper and apologise...repeatedly...and dont bleddy repeat that tantrum again in the future...

What else do you want us to advice you?
 
miloice

miloice

Well-Known Member
Pick up the pieces and reflect. what is done cannot be undone. The ball isn't really on your court anymore. Improve for yourself not him not to keep the relationship.
 
K

kittylicious

New Member
well...what i expect and what i hope of the outcome maybe different...there's nothing much i can do... one can only hope...

im just seeking affirmation and opinions...
 
T

thommy

New Member
What affirmation are u seeking here?

You should be thinking of ways on how to curb your temper and apologising to him instead of moping here.

If it's over something trivial and you lost your head just like that, I can't imagine what would happen if it's something major...get a knife and kill him?

You need to learn how to curb your temper seriously, anger is not one of the seven deadly sins for nothing. If there's a need, go for anger management classes to keep your temper in check.
 
P

powderful07

New Member
Women are a funny breed...

You already knew what you need to do and yet you still need affirmations?

Apologise
Apologise
Apologise
Apologise
Apologise
Apologise

And then hope for the best...
And do keep in mind...Don't EXPECT the apology to be accepted...It's for him to make the decision...

And also...Don't go flying into another rage if he didn't accept it initially...
 
miloice

miloice

Well-Known Member
Anger management improves with persistence & determination. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Identifying your problem is the 1st step in correcting it. Don't expect miracles.
 
P

powderful07

New Member
sad_gal82,
In case you didn't read beyond 10 words (including the thread title)...

kitty admitted her guilt on her slapping her boyfriend over her tantrum...so what do you suggest she do?...Go back and slap the other side...

Geez...gals...
 
miloice

miloice

Well-Known Member
how come lah. This is ridiculously childish suggestion.

This is not a battle on who is right and wrong. One should refrain from over-reactions ALWAYS. So what even if the bf could be wrong in the 1st place. No one is perfect, have u not made mistakes in your life? How would you appreciate your partner making a stupid mountain out of your every mistake and throwing a tantrum over them. GROW UP and wake up your ideas!

Anger is an emotion. No one can stop feeling. But, one can surely reflect on how they handled the situation and contain their emotions and composure.
 
H

habe

New Member
Doesn't matter who started the fight or who did wrong, physical attack is not advisable.

Kitty, you know your mistakes and you should know what you have to do.
 
P

powderful07

New Member
I bet for people like sad_gal82...

If the situation was reversed; and that it was the guy who slapped the gal...

Her response would have been very different....
 
C

cuclainne

New Member
sad_gal, so did you slap your lover when you found out he was married - i think he would have deserved it then, right?
 
T

thommy

New Member
Yeah, violence shld be the last thing on our minds no matter what mistakes we've made...nobody is perfect, there are better ways to solve the problem rather than resort to violence.
 
P

powderful07

New Member
baby1more...

Gals gals gals...you need to start reading the WHOLE post and not deploy selective reading!!!

"somehow i got so temperamental and i launched into an endless tirade of how i've suffered throughout the relationship"...

I'm not sure if you missed the words "so temperamental" and "endless tirade"...I would have packed her things as well if she got SO WORKED UP over such a TRIVIAL MATTER!

Did you just automatically assume that his bf is wrong....just becos...let me guess...that he's a GUY?!
 
S

simpleman

Active Member
Yes, you shouldn't have slapped him. You made a mistake and should just apologize for it. But as a man, what is a slap by gf. Not as if you are battering him all the time.

I wouldn't have hold it too much if my gf or wife slapped me. I would forgive them easily. So just apologize. He should be man enough to accept it and move on. If he didn't want to forgive you, I would think there is more to it.
 
miloice

miloice

Well-Known Member
sm, its not about forgiveness. When a man pack and leave a pampered gal, he simply have too much of her nonsense and he knows for sure he doesn't want a lifetime of this anymore.
 
P

powder

Active Member
kitty,

guess nothing much u can do except to apologise... what happened is like a 'show-hand' liao... sometimes u win, sometimes u lose... i guess most things are forgiveable, except the slapping which in most cultures is unacceptable and humiliating... it's the face ya? socially, slapping is only acceptable when u're betrayed... ie cheated by spouse, or perhaps by parents when we're really out of hand.

so just gotta apologise and hope time can heal things...
 
S

simpleman

Active Member
milo,

I am not too sure about the pampered girl or that he has enough. Too little info. It could be as you said, a triggering point for something brewing for a while.. but it could be other thing - I am just thinking about other possibilities as not much info has been provided.

The guy is not necessary an angel in the first place and it could be just an excuse for an explosion to get out.

Is there a history of slapping or physical abuse or even verbal abuse? I am not so sure.

We can't speculate much. Just apologize and see where it is going..
 
S

simpleman

Active Member
powder,

ha ha maybe I am very magnanimous .. if it is a one-off slapping.. i don't see why we cannot forgive..

Slapping is never justified - regardless of the mistake committed - even for adultery.

But one can understand that it may happen in the heat of emotions.. as long as the perpetrator is aware of his/her mistake - it should be forgivable. Well, maybe this is just me.
 
P

powder

Active Member
i guess it's your threshold for it... for me perhaps i can take it only from mum & dad... it's one of those things u know is an ultimate humiliation... of cos depends on the magnitude of wrongness
 
H

habe

New Member
agree, slapping is very humiliating, the kind that probably only parents have the right to met out to their children, or by gf/wives on their unrepentful cheating husbands.
I've also witness a slapping case in public where this guy badly insulted the girl - very nasty and degrading names, even went on to insult the girl's mom and sis - and was given a tight slap by her.Don't know what the girl did to deserve those names - but i thought the guy wasn't very gentlemanly to hurl such verbal abuse to a girl in public.
But if its just to vent anger and frustration in an arguement especially over "trivial matters" - hands off!
 
S

sgbabydoll

Active Member
I am sure it wasn't just a lone slap on the face but one that came with colourful commentary, which added insult to injury.
 
V

vios

New Member
Other than the slap, the 'destroying' of his gifts was pretty unnecessary?
Since you've blurted out your 'sufferings' to him, maybe you shld re-look at this relationship again. And, i wonder if you have anger management issues.
 
P

powder

Active Member
no lah, actually i dun think it's anger issues... just some drama issues... we tend to enact wat we see on the tv/movies...
 
miloice

miloice

Well-Known Member
sm, its not about forgiveness. As what vios highlighted. All the destroying of gifts etc. That's so childish. One can only tolerate this much of nonsense loh. No one can say if its too much. Everyone have a different tolerance level.
 
P

powder

Active Member
she was expecting a different outcome to the outburst... so tat's why i said it was drama... it wasn't so much anger management problems... it was deliberate in hope of achieving a result. so like i 1st posted... she 'show-hand' and lost.
 
H

habe

New Member
sometimes when you are angry or too emotional you just cannot control one.
so many murder/stabbings/arson cases all arose from anger/revenge.
must keep telling yourself to cool it. what cucclaine suggested is good - step away.
that's what i do when i argue with my bf and sense that we are abt to erupt soon - i'll just walk away, talk some other time. control while you still can!
 
F

flowerygal

New Member
Kitty,
Seems like u r quite hot-tempered as well..abit scary for a gal. Perhaps u may need to sit down & think carefully on how to control yourself if being provoked. Anger management.

Sorry, just trying to be frank. Because my BIL's exgf also got very hot-tempered when quarrelled with him & scratched his body all over with her nails. Gosh....bled alot. My MIL also another kind, attacked my FIL too. It is physical violence. Anger can get the better of u. Be wary.
 
P

powderful07

New Member
flowerygal...

I'm kinda curious...does your 232 posts so far NOT contain any negative comments on your MIL?

I mean...how much longer must you keep reinforcing to the members in this forum of your extremely dangerous MIL?
I'm sure half of the Singapore population must have already learn about your unfortunate situation with your MIL by now...
 
miloice

miloice

Well-Known Member
well... it does reflect how important her MIL is to her. As much as she dislike her MIL, it seems to be in her mind ALWAYS.
 
P

powderful07

New Member
It's bordering on obsession...and it's getting kinda freaky...

Not good on the mental health in the long run...

And whatever happened to not airing dirty laundry in public?
Is it a lost value?
 
P

powderful07

New Member
Err...proc...

How do I go about explaining this...
You see...Laundry in this case doesn't meant laundry as in clothes...it meant Laundry_woes; the person who's fav past time is to pick on my language IRregardless of place time or location...
So when I was saying "airing dirty laundry" she took it literally and took offense that I said she's dirty...
So I told her to take a bath so that she's not dirty anymore...

Get it? Whew...
 
M

may_be_divorced_soon

New Member
Oh... I was of the impression that Laundry_woes is trying to correct your English cos the proverb should be "airing dirty linens, not dirty laundry", not so much on taking offence in you saying she is dirty. Maybe I am mistaken.
happy.gif
 
L

laundry_woes

New Member
Proc, he's rite. Suaning him IS my fave pastime. In any case, laundry or linen oso not wrong. But when it comes out from him, everything is wrong. Irregardless. Woohoo! Sinking to ur level.
 
S

simpleman

Active Member
laundry,

actually to be suan by you also not bad.. cos you also don't anyhow suan anyone..

so powderful should be proud to be suaned by u
 

P

powder

Active Member
ya, he's busy crying his heart out after u warm him with your suaning... Hugz...

ps: tat's so freakin gay....
 
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