I may force to walk out of my baby and cut all ties

[butterpaper_555]

I have an abusive wife. Or shall call her ex-wife to be from now.

She is super verbal abusive and even threaten to kill me few time while holding a knife. She moved out of my house with my baby while I was away for work just few days. She took everything belongs to her and the baby out of the house too.


Saw my baby only few time after I texted her. The time spent with my baby was priceless but she make it very difficult for me to access my baby.


I left with no choice but to divorce her. I need to win the custody with care and control. Otherwise I will force to cut all ties and walk out of my baby. I sound selfish here but I must walk out.


Share custody is as good as she wins sole custody as I have no room to make any decision for my baby. And I also do not want my baby to bring up by an abusive mother, lying mother and mentally challenged mother.


It will be painful for the rest of my life, but at least is not as painful as watching my boy grow up to be like the mother. And she will use my baby as a weapon to torture and abuse me emotionally and mentally.

 

[TheRepentant]

Not sure if there is any chance of achieving harmony first, then get her to go counselling together with you. Has she been like this since courtship days or prior to arrival of the baby? If not, what do you think make her changed her behavior. Could there be some deep rooted misunderstandings or disagreements? What works on her the most?
I am a sentimental person, I always believe in sticking through thick and thin with my wife and that’s also the reason I finally gotten her forgiveness after a long time.
For your case, it might be good to seek professional help. If she doesn’t allow, is there any way u can give in to her and calm her down first? I went for a marriage fitness course, and one of the underlying principle is very good, it teaches one to not talk about conflicts and disagreements, build up good will till a point where disagreements can be easily resolved. It is hard to achieve any positive outcome when both are angry with each other, and sadly only care for the baby. Not sure for you, but my case when I looked deeply within me when my wife left with kids, I saw many anger, hatred, grudges that cover up my love for her. When I peel them off later by layer, I saw my love for her as much as it was when we are dating. It is difficult because the years of disagreements, quarrels, and grudges act like thick oil stain on the light bulb making it dim.
Best scenario is for you to work through things and give the child a happy family.

 

[xinj]

Er... do you have any evidence of the threats via messages like 'i will kill you if.....' 'i will kill our child if you ever...' ? Better still, if you have any audio recording or try to have a vid recording if you can. If your wife is abusive and even use physical force like hitting you or the child or use knife to threaten all, you can actually report that leh. that is domestic violence, and the child is in danger. if the wife takes the child, the child is in danger too. you need to call child services/the authorities. if the wife is really severely depressed/or could have other issues like bipolar disorder or whatever else, the child is in danger. you should report it and let the authorities investigate. if the wife is deemed unable to care for the child, the child goes to you. because this is about the child's safety and well-being too.

 

[butterpaper_555]

I have the evidence and I wanted to save the marriage and withdrew my PPO. And that was the biggest mistake, because I can’t use that evidence for my 2nd PPO. My 2nd PPO got threw out.

MSF said can’t do anything unless something happen. I am tie down with a system that I can’t even take photos for evidence when I found out many marks and bruises on my son.
My Ex-wife-to-be even denied some obvious injury on my son and that injury still healing today after I discovered 4 weeks ago. Isn’t that to long for a healing process as a baby? It was a deep cut.
I have done my very best to save marriage. I am sorry can’t save anymore as I unable to live with a time bomb. I used up my kindness and love for her.
She was like that even during courtship, and that show how much I love her as I never walkout of her but stick with her. And unfortunately, she used a silly reason I plotted these for years on her. Use a logic mind to think. A man will walk away from a relationship if the other is abusive. Why would a man plot a move to have baby with such wife? My love to her and she used it for her irrational affidavit want only baby and not her.
The latest twist was she said I do not want baby back to my house. It mean she wants to entirely cut me off, or use that to her advantage.

 

[margret]

if there us any Mark's you saw then you should go make a police report, after that bring your child for a medical check up and submit this to MCYS.
have you done that?
are you still staying with your wife?

 

[buddhabar]

TS, is you wife mentally sound? is she like bipolar or schizoid.
If so , then medical treatment is the only hope to save your marriage.
You will never be able to live with sick person who refuse treatment.
it will be mentally too draining for anyone.

I have the evidence and I wanted to save the marriage and withdrew my PPO. And that was the biggest mistake, because I can’t use that evidence for my 2nd PPO. My 2nd PPO got threw out.

MSF said can’t do anything unless something happen. I am tie down with a system that I can’t even take photos for evidence when I found out many marks and bruises on my son.
My Ex-wife-to-be even denied some obvious injury on my son and that injury still healing today after I discovered 4 weeks ago. Isn’t that to long for a healing process as a baby? It was a deep cut.
I have done my very best to save marriage. I am sorry can’t save anymore as I unable to live with a time bomb. I used up my kindness and love for her.
She was like that even during courtship, and that show how much I love her as I never walkout of her but stick with her. And unfortunately, she used a silly reason I plotted these for years on her. Use a logic mind to think. A man will walk away from a relationship if the other is abusive. Why would a man plot a move to have baby with such wife? My love to her and she used it for her irrational affidavit want only baby and not her.
The latest twist was she said I do not want baby back to my house. It mean she wants to entirely cut me off, or use that to her advantage.

 

[Catin]

The more you want the child , the more she will fight with you. For a woman with a child it will be hard to remarry, not the same for a man . Tell her that, act cool .. play the cards against her