I’m now in process of preparing for annulment of my 3month old marriage. 4 years ago when we were in BGR r/ship, we were in our late 20s then. Now I’ starting to regret that I shld not had got into marriage at all. I had been suffering fm mental distress from MIL since. I find her a control freak and its getting over my neck. I thought things would change after we got married, but sad to say, she still can’t let go and it’s affecting my married life. I finally decided that 4yrs dating + 3 months married life is long enuff to draw a conclusion to this problem which just cant be resolved, except ending from our r/ship. It may sound a harsh decision but I think I’ve walked to the end of the road already and here’s my story, its long but I’ll try to summarize:
During our dating :
His mum would constantly call my then-bf to track him down and calls him EVERY nite at abt 8pm to hurry him to go home, although fully aware that we are outside dating or knowing that we just left the house at 6pm. Her usual questions were (1) Where r u? (2) Why not home yet/why go out? (3) What time coming back? What pissed me was her never-say-die attitude of persistence to ruin our date. E.g
Mom: where r u?
He : outside (obviously)
Mom: where u go?
He : orchard
Mom : orchard where?
He : Shaw hse
Mom : go there for what?
He : watch movie
Mom : what movie u watch (ask if she knows abt the screenings/ knows English)
He : movie lor
Mom: that movie v nice meh? Why watch?
Amongst other excuses, he usually would lie to her that we’re already on the way home even though we’re still in middle of our meal or bluff that he’s OT-ing at office. If he’s not home by 10pm, she calls again, bombard him all the questions why not home yet. It gives me the impression that she doesn't like us to go dating. Her calls will follow at the usual +/- 8pm and 10pm to hurry him to go home. I felt stressed up by her tracking and upset with then-bf who had to resort to telling lies to pacify her, as if it's a sin for couple to go dating. My limit was hit on one occasion: it was a Saturday noon and we were shopping at the mall. The mum called with the usual interrogation. He told a lie that he was at office working, during their conversation, a fellow shopper a lady was talking in the background and he told the mum ‘oh it was pantry lady’ .. I was already upset that he had to tell white lies to the mum when we go dating but I didn't expect he had to resort to lie abt the background sound…I don't know where to bury myself to hide and cry. Our dating was constantly interrupted with the mum’s persistence to pressure him to go home and as if I brought him to commit crime outside.
When we were planning for marriage :
Years back, his mum made an arrangement where when my hb turned 21, the parents sold the family flat and forced him to take over the new flat under his sole name and use his CPF to finance. The intention: to ensure that he is stuck and can’t buy another flat, no CPF left too. The MIL induced hb to be in that agreement to take ownership of the family flat and my hb was back then too naive. He thot of helping the family save the resale levy in good faith, thinking that in future, shld he needs to move out, his parents would be cooperative and take back ownership of the flat. He has an elder sis who was married but stays few blks away.
As much as I was against the idea of staying with MIL (I cant tolerate her desire to control pple), I told him that I will ‘try’ and live with his folks since I know hell will break if he wants to move out cos she threatened to commit suicide and ran away from home in protest when he told her abt his intention to move out (despite we proposed to move to another nearby block also cannot!). The mum confronted me and told me that she has to stay with the son bcos she is a very traditional woman and claims herself as a very easy-going person, assures will not poke nose into our affairs once the son is married cos she will deemed him as ‘adult with own life’. I took her affirmation and bet on it.
I was also disappointed that in order to forbid hb fm moving out, she actually told him these which I cant believe would ever come out from a mother who claims to be very traditional in thinking:
a) Its ok to remain single, now is modern society, says there are pple out there who are happily single. If getting married = move out, then don’t get married.
b) Can wait in future then get married, now only 30 years old, still can wait. Nowadays very common to see couple in 40s but child is young, its alright, no hurry for family planning bcos of age catching up
c) If I do not wish to stay together, she will introduce other nice gals to hb. Ask him to breakup with me!
Despite hearing such hurtful comments behind my back, I swallowed my misery, holding on the faith that we can ride thru difficulties as long as we stay united. We didn't want to waste our youth battling with her, after 2 years+ of time wasted in attempting to persuade and ends up defeated and depressed of not able to subdue unreasonable arguments.
Then, comes the selfish sister’s pattern which I cant tolerate as well. She is always very dependent on my hb to help her, even if its her own family matters (she and BIL + mid can NEVER handle her 2 kids for some reason). She always gets away by saying she busy with kids, cant cope and get MIL to command hb to help her do things. Etc, she hosts BBQ party for her children bb shower but we end up being the labourer, helping her carry tables, ice boxes, cook the food, cleanup while she jus care for her kids, didn't help, BIL oso. Etc she wants to save $ and ask my hb to go IT fair to help her buy a laptop, hb had to abandon our dinner date and go squeeze in the crowd and take public transport home carrying the bulky box. Etc she will ask hb to chauffer her and family to places if hb happen to be at home. MIL will always use seniority status to command hb to help the sis, giving excuse since they live nearby, must help each other. When did they (SIL/BIL) ever helped hb? There had been many instances they jus siam and refuse to offer help.
Anyway hb told the mum that we are planning for wedding and wld like to renovate the nuptial room. I was disappointed that despite giving in to something I never desired and sacrificing so much, his family was v uncooperative. Despite the fact that upon marriage, my name wld be added to the flat (me and hubby legal owner and sole financing the flat), she doesn't let go of the Master bed room which the parents were then occupying, to be use as our nuptial room. Nvm this, she also dun allow me to neither renovate any part of the house nor replace the wardrobe of our nuptial room saying its waste of $ (she didn't offer to give red-packet to renovate house to ‘welcome’ me and wants to restrict me using our own $ to renovate our own room! And hey, we’re the legal owners and using our $ to finance the hse). I swallowed these for hubby’s sake. I was most shattered inside when my hb rejected me on my proposal of decorating the house to my liking (not renovation). He says since the sis family always come over for dinner, we cant hv small decorations around the house cos its potentially harm to the sister’s kids if they swallow. I was tearing apart inside, asked why I (owner and paying the loan) hv to be responsible for the sister’s children safety issue? As guests, shouldn't they respect the owner and not touch my things in the first place?
Hb told the mum that we would like to use the ‘sister’s bedroom’ as nuptial room since its bigger and asked for clearance of her stuff. Although she’s married for few yrs, all her things were left intact that room e.g magazines dated 2000 and rusty stationary, faded clothes etc, plus her bulky items which she can’t contain in her own hse. Basically, she is using it as a ‘second store room’. There was an agreement to clear the room and hubby gave them 2 months timeline. By end of the tenor, I was upset that it was not cleared at all. Reason : the sis is very busy with her 2 kids, no time to pack. (although she comes over dinner 2 times a week and hv a maid, it cannot be done). Nvm her laziness, my impression of her changed drastically when my hb offered to help her pack nicely into boxes/bags but she refuse to carry home, excuse saying cannot carry cos of kids. (the BIL always goes back empty handed, didn't want to take their stuff). Then last resort, hb personally delivered the bags to her home and instead, got a scolding upside down fm the sis ‘my house is already so packed, u still bring things over’. I found her totally unreasonable for following reasons:
d) brother getting married but didn't want to lay a finger to clear her own things to facilitate our wedding plans
e) she didn't pay a cent while she was staying in the flat which was NOT the ‘family flat’ since the parents didn't finance for and are not owners, how can she continue to occupy ‘her bedroom’ not to mention she’ve been married and moved out for 3-4 yrs!
f) MIL didn't allow us to throw any of the sister’s trash saying that’s no respect
I didn't understand why MIL insist that we hv to stay with her but yet due to her strong favourtism towards the sister, she took sides instead of helping us expedite the preparation of nuptial room. I explained to hubby that they are too difficult and I cant waste my time waiting for them to wake up from complacency. Last resort, we bought a condo (since he cant use his name to buy a flat). MIL bear a grudge eversince, that we ‘defied’ her despite she told us that she wants to stay with us we still bought another house eventually. She made life difficult for hubby and I stopped going over his place for some time. She says she already willing to take hardship to cook for us etc make dinner, we are so stubborn and didn't want to stay with her.
On/the week after our Wedding :
During tea ceremony, she pinned a red flower on my head. Those who are aware of Chinese customs would know abt the folklore that MILs will put a flower on DIL’s head and press DIL’s head when doing so, DIL will be ‘scared’ of MIL and listen to MIL. (MIL can suppress DIL). I was totally embarrassed under witness of frens n relatives but I held my head firmly, didn't allow her to press down while she pinned the flower. On the way returning to my hse for another tea ceremony, I told hubby abt it and that I’m upset cos nowadays nobody practices this kinda MEAN custom except her. I swallowed it down for his sake again.
After our wedding, we took leave to enjoy our newly wed lives, going for spa, movie etc since we our new house is not ready yet and wanted couple time. MIL complaint to hb that I intentionally not want to stay home and secretly told my hb NOT to listen to his wife. She also asked hb to lie to me that if I asked abt the red flower incident, jus tell me its for auspicious sake and she pressed my head ‘by accident’ cos she was long-sighted and couldn't see clearly w/o her specs during tea, so had to press firmly to ensure the flower didn't drop, no hidden meanings. I was tearing apart inside that MIL told my hb CANNOT listen to wife, anything must tell/ask her.
MIL also forbid me to stay over at my maiden’s house, she even called my mum to confront my mum, scolding ‘how did u teach yr daughter? How can she go maiden house stay over during early stage after wedding’? My mum swallowed this bombard for my sake. MIL had forgotten hb’s sis (her own daughter) had also stayed over maiden house for a period of time after her own wedding during the time SIL was awaiting for her new house ready. I was angry that MIL can heart-pain for her own daughter and understand her daughter being home-sick but cannot allow other pple’s daughter (me) to go back maiden’s house!
More agony to come…
I shall write points instead of lengthy paragraphs to summarize my agony after my wedding.
g) MIL didn't allow hb to lock our bedroom when we were out
h) MILS secretly entered our bedroom and check my wardrobe. How I know : I folded a piece of paper and stuck between he door, but always find it on the floor when we return. She commented that I shld bring more clothes over, currently so little, not enough.
i) I was sent to A&E on night and discharged, reached my maiden home past midnight. MIL didn't allow hb to stayover to care for me, saying ‘daughters are married out, its improper for son to stay at maiden side’. So my hb took midnight cab, traveled 30km and came next morning. I was left alone sick, abandoned, as if no hubby, all cos of the dowager’s rule!
j) I was hospitalized 2 weeks later and upon discharge, I wanted to go back my mother’s house to recuperate but nasty MIL also didn't allow hb to stay my place to take care of me. As much as my parents didn't consent such unreasonable demands, they also kept quiet instead of arguing with her, on account of not wanting to further strain the r/ship
k) After our new condo was ready (TOP), we went out on weekends to shop for lighting and furniture, MIL will grumble and ask why we always go out, why must spend so much time shop for the stuff, ask hb to anyhow buy will do.
The ultimatum came when I finally decided that I cant it anymore. My PIL and SIL family went for holiday trip and returned on a 5am flight. SIL demanded hb to go airport fetch them. I felt it was unreasonable cos they could easily hail a cab since its nearby (fare is only <$15 incl surcharges). Hb says its MIL idea and he is fetching his parents, not sister family. But I know, given SIL and BIL character of imposing on others for own benefit / convenience, they will sure say give them a lift as well since they stay nearby and my hb end up helping them carry their luggage as well (cos they are forever busy with kids). They didn't consider that hb is always married and got own family, everything also want him to ‘help’. I feel its ok if hb goes airport fetch own parents, but why must the SIL keep ‘making use’ of hb’s obliging nature? Its obviously too squeezy for all of them (4 plump adults + 2 kids + luggages) to go into the saloon car.
Moving on, I cant imagine carrying on my married life to be of such:
l) MIL’s constant sarcastic comments and persistent tracking our exact whereabouts and reason for going out. There is no personal space / privacy of our couple-life. Imagine she’s not physically with us but know exactly where we are n what we doing there.
m) SIL’s selfish nature to always impose on hb to command him to run her own personal / family errands instead of turning to her own hubby. MIL will always use her dowager senior status to help SIL cos MIL favours SIL.
n) HB is ever-obliging towards the SIL even when its overboard and inability to even rebut MIL when she is totally unreasonable. He allows them to continue to behave in such undesirable manner.
o) I cant ‘share’ a hb who is supposed to put spouse as priority who is always at the command of MIL and SIL. I cant ‘share’ a hb who is always obliged to help SIL family matters, at expense of my own family’s inconvenience.
I’ve decided to quit from this marriage bcos things had not changed. Hb says 3mths is too soon to call it quits, but how many more 3mths must I wait for them to change? I think I hv to call for Annulment and get myself relased from these years of agony, unhappiness, disappointment and distress. I just want to break free cos my heart had died when I witness and experience the empty promised hb made to me. I felt ‘cheated’ in agreeing to marry him, in good faith that he will act according to his assurance to me that that things will change after our married status. Since I cant change hb, MIL or SIL, I hv to let go and move on……
I’ve moved back to my mum’s place and told him I needed a week of break. He didn't call nor attempt to win me back. I think my decision is correct.
During our dating :
His mum would constantly call my then-bf to track him down and calls him EVERY nite at abt 8pm to hurry him to go home, although fully aware that we are outside dating or knowing that we just left the house at 6pm. Her usual questions were (1) Where r u? (2) Why not home yet/why go out? (3) What time coming back? What pissed me was her never-say-die attitude of persistence to ruin our date. E.g
Mom: where r u?
He : outside (obviously)
Mom: where u go?
He : orchard
Mom : orchard where?
He : Shaw hse
Mom : go there for what?
He : watch movie
Mom : what movie u watch (ask if she knows abt the screenings/ knows English)
He : movie lor
Mom: that movie v nice meh? Why watch?
Amongst other excuses, he usually would lie to her that we’re already on the way home even though we’re still in middle of our meal or bluff that he’s OT-ing at office. If he’s not home by 10pm, she calls again, bombard him all the questions why not home yet. It gives me the impression that she doesn't like us to go dating. Her calls will follow at the usual +/- 8pm and 10pm to hurry him to go home. I felt stressed up by her tracking and upset with then-bf who had to resort to telling lies to pacify her, as if it's a sin for couple to go dating. My limit was hit on one occasion: it was a Saturday noon and we were shopping at the mall. The mum called with the usual interrogation. He told a lie that he was at office working, during their conversation, a fellow shopper a lady was talking in the background and he told the mum ‘oh it was pantry lady’ .. I was already upset that he had to tell white lies to the mum when we go dating but I didn't expect he had to resort to lie abt the background sound…I don't know where to bury myself to hide and cry. Our dating was constantly interrupted with the mum’s persistence to pressure him to go home and as if I brought him to commit crime outside.
When we were planning for marriage :
Years back, his mum made an arrangement where when my hb turned 21, the parents sold the family flat and forced him to take over the new flat under his sole name and use his CPF to finance. The intention: to ensure that he is stuck and can’t buy another flat, no CPF left too. The MIL induced hb to be in that agreement to take ownership of the family flat and my hb was back then too naive. He thot of helping the family save the resale levy in good faith, thinking that in future, shld he needs to move out, his parents would be cooperative and take back ownership of the flat. He has an elder sis who was married but stays few blks away.
As much as I was against the idea of staying with MIL (I cant tolerate her desire to control pple), I told him that I will ‘try’ and live with his folks since I know hell will break if he wants to move out cos she threatened to commit suicide and ran away from home in protest when he told her abt his intention to move out (despite we proposed to move to another nearby block also cannot!). The mum confronted me and told me that she has to stay with the son bcos she is a very traditional woman and claims herself as a very easy-going person, assures will not poke nose into our affairs once the son is married cos she will deemed him as ‘adult with own life’. I took her affirmation and bet on it.
I was also disappointed that in order to forbid hb fm moving out, she actually told him these which I cant believe would ever come out from a mother who claims to be very traditional in thinking:
a) Its ok to remain single, now is modern society, says there are pple out there who are happily single. If getting married = move out, then don’t get married.
b) Can wait in future then get married, now only 30 years old, still can wait. Nowadays very common to see couple in 40s but child is young, its alright, no hurry for family planning bcos of age catching up
c) If I do not wish to stay together, she will introduce other nice gals to hb. Ask him to breakup with me!
Despite hearing such hurtful comments behind my back, I swallowed my misery, holding on the faith that we can ride thru difficulties as long as we stay united. We didn't want to waste our youth battling with her, after 2 years+ of time wasted in attempting to persuade and ends up defeated and depressed of not able to subdue unreasonable arguments.
Then, comes the selfish sister’s pattern which I cant tolerate as well. She is always very dependent on my hb to help her, even if its her own family matters (she and BIL + mid can NEVER handle her 2 kids for some reason). She always gets away by saying she busy with kids, cant cope and get MIL to command hb to help her do things. Etc, she hosts BBQ party for her children bb shower but we end up being the labourer, helping her carry tables, ice boxes, cook the food, cleanup while she jus care for her kids, didn't help, BIL oso. Etc she wants to save $ and ask my hb to go IT fair to help her buy a laptop, hb had to abandon our dinner date and go squeeze in the crowd and take public transport home carrying the bulky box. Etc she will ask hb to chauffer her and family to places if hb happen to be at home. MIL will always use seniority status to command hb to help the sis, giving excuse since they live nearby, must help each other. When did they (SIL/BIL) ever helped hb? There had been many instances they jus siam and refuse to offer help.
Anyway hb told the mum that we are planning for wedding and wld like to renovate the nuptial room. I was disappointed that despite giving in to something I never desired and sacrificing so much, his family was v uncooperative. Despite the fact that upon marriage, my name wld be added to the flat (me and hubby legal owner and sole financing the flat), she doesn't let go of the Master bed room which the parents were then occupying, to be use as our nuptial room. Nvm this, she also dun allow me to neither renovate any part of the house nor replace the wardrobe of our nuptial room saying its waste of $ (she didn't offer to give red-packet to renovate house to ‘welcome’ me and wants to restrict me using our own $ to renovate our own room! And hey, we’re the legal owners and using our $ to finance the hse). I swallowed these for hubby’s sake. I was most shattered inside when my hb rejected me on my proposal of decorating the house to my liking (not renovation). He says since the sis family always come over for dinner, we cant hv small decorations around the house cos its potentially harm to the sister’s kids if they swallow. I was tearing apart inside, asked why I (owner and paying the loan) hv to be responsible for the sister’s children safety issue? As guests, shouldn't they respect the owner and not touch my things in the first place?
Hb told the mum that we would like to use the ‘sister’s bedroom’ as nuptial room since its bigger and asked for clearance of her stuff. Although she’s married for few yrs, all her things were left intact that room e.g magazines dated 2000 and rusty stationary, faded clothes etc, plus her bulky items which she can’t contain in her own hse. Basically, she is using it as a ‘second store room’. There was an agreement to clear the room and hubby gave them 2 months timeline. By end of the tenor, I was upset that it was not cleared at all. Reason : the sis is very busy with her 2 kids, no time to pack. (although she comes over dinner 2 times a week and hv a maid, it cannot be done). Nvm her laziness, my impression of her changed drastically when my hb offered to help her pack nicely into boxes/bags but she refuse to carry home, excuse saying cannot carry cos of kids. (the BIL always goes back empty handed, didn't want to take their stuff). Then last resort, hb personally delivered the bags to her home and instead, got a scolding upside down fm the sis ‘my house is already so packed, u still bring things over’. I found her totally unreasonable for following reasons:
d) brother getting married but didn't want to lay a finger to clear her own things to facilitate our wedding plans
e) she didn't pay a cent while she was staying in the flat which was NOT the ‘family flat’ since the parents didn't finance for and are not owners, how can she continue to occupy ‘her bedroom’ not to mention she’ve been married and moved out for 3-4 yrs!
f) MIL didn't allow us to throw any of the sister’s trash saying that’s no respect
I didn't understand why MIL insist that we hv to stay with her but yet due to her strong favourtism towards the sister, she took sides instead of helping us expedite the preparation of nuptial room. I explained to hubby that they are too difficult and I cant waste my time waiting for them to wake up from complacency. Last resort, we bought a condo (since he cant use his name to buy a flat). MIL bear a grudge eversince, that we ‘defied’ her despite she told us that she wants to stay with us we still bought another house eventually. She made life difficult for hubby and I stopped going over his place for some time. She says she already willing to take hardship to cook for us etc make dinner, we are so stubborn and didn't want to stay with her.
On/the week after our Wedding :
During tea ceremony, she pinned a red flower on my head. Those who are aware of Chinese customs would know abt the folklore that MILs will put a flower on DIL’s head and press DIL’s head when doing so, DIL will be ‘scared’ of MIL and listen to MIL. (MIL can suppress DIL). I was totally embarrassed under witness of frens n relatives but I held my head firmly, didn't allow her to press down while she pinned the flower. On the way returning to my hse for another tea ceremony, I told hubby abt it and that I’m upset cos nowadays nobody practices this kinda MEAN custom except her. I swallowed it down for his sake again.
After our wedding, we took leave to enjoy our newly wed lives, going for spa, movie etc since we our new house is not ready yet and wanted couple time. MIL complaint to hb that I intentionally not want to stay home and secretly told my hb NOT to listen to his wife. She also asked hb to lie to me that if I asked abt the red flower incident, jus tell me its for auspicious sake and she pressed my head ‘by accident’ cos she was long-sighted and couldn't see clearly w/o her specs during tea, so had to press firmly to ensure the flower didn't drop, no hidden meanings. I was tearing apart inside that MIL told my hb CANNOT listen to wife, anything must tell/ask her.
MIL also forbid me to stay over at my maiden’s house, she even called my mum to confront my mum, scolding ‘how did u teach yr daughter? How can she go maiden house stay over during early stage after wedding’? My mum swallowed this bombard for my sake. MIL had forgotten hb’s sis (her own daughter) had also stayed over maiden house for a period of time after her own wedding during the time SIL was awaiting for her new house ready. I was angry that MIL can heart-pain for her own daughter and understand her daughter being home-sick but cannot allow other pple’s daughter (me) to go back maiden’s house!
More agony to come…
I shall write points instead of lengthy paragraphs to summarize my agony after my wedding.
g) MIL didn't allow hb to lock our bedroom when we were out
h) MILS secretly entered our bedroom and check my wardrobe. How I know : I folded a piece of paper and stuck between he door, but always find it on the floor when we return. She commented that I shld bring more clothes over, currently so little, not enough.
i) I was sent to A&E on night and discharged, reached my maiden home past midnight. MIL didn't allow hb to stayover to care for me, saying ‘daughters are married out, its improper for son to stay at maiden side’. So my hb took midnight cab, traveled 30km and came next morning. I was left alone sick, abandoned, as if no hubby, all cos of the dowager’s rule!
j) I was hospitalized 2 weeks later and upon discharge, I wanted to go back my mother’s house to recuperate but nasty MIL also didn't allow hb to stay my place to take care of me. As much as my parents didn't consent such unreasonable demands, they also kept quiet instead of arguing with her, on account of not wanting to further strain the r/ship
k) After our new condo was ready (TOP), we went out on weekends to shop for lighting and furniture, MIL will grumble and ask why we always go out, why must spend so much time shop for the stuff, ask hb to anyhow buy will do.
The ultimatum came when I finally decided that I cant it anymore. My PIL and SIL family went for holiday trip and returned on a 5am flight. SIL demanded hb to go airport fetch them. I felt it was unreasonable cos they could easily hail a cab since its nearby (fare is only <$15 incl surcharges). Hb says its MIL idea and he is fetching his parents, not sister family. But I know, given SIL and BIL character of imposing on others for own benefit / convenience, they will sure say give them a lift as well since they stay nearby and my hb end up helping them carry their luggage as well (cos they are forever busy with kids). They didn't consider that hb is always married and got own family, everything also want him to ‘help’. I feel its ok if hb goes airport fetch own parents, but why must the SIL keep ‘making use’ of hb’s obliging nature? Its obviously too squeezy for all of them (4 plump adults + 2 kids + luggages) to go into the saloon car.
Moving on, I cant imagine carrying on my married life to be of such:
l) MIL’s constant sarcastic comments and persistent tracking our exact whereabouts and reason for going out. There is no personal space / privacy of our couple-life. Imagine she’s not physically with us but know exactly where we are n what we doing there.
m) SIL’s selfish nature to always impose on hb to command him to run her own personal / family errands instead of turning to her own hubby. MIL will always use her dowager senior status to help SIL cos MIL favours SIL.
n) HB is ever-obliging towards the SIL even when its overboard and inability to even rebut MIL when she is totally unreasonable. He allows them to continue to behave in such undesirable manner.
o) I cant ‘share’ a hb who is supposed to put spouse as priority who is always at the command of MIL and SIL. I cant ‘share’ a hb who is always obliged to help SIL family matters, at expense of my own family’s inconvenience.
I’ve decided to quit from this marriage bcos things had not changed. Hb says 3mths is too soon to call it quits, but how many more 3mths must I wait for them to change? I think I hv to call for Annulment and get myself relased from these years of agony, unhappiness, disappointment and distress. I just want to break free cos my heart had died when I witness and experience the empty promised hb made to me. I felt ‘cheated’ in agreeing to marry him, in good faith that he will act according to his assurance to me that that things will change after our married status. Since I cant change hb, MIL or SIL, I hv to let go and move on……
I’ve moved back to my mum’s place and told him I needed a week of break. He didn't call nor attempt to win me back. I think my decision is correct.