I feel threaten...


New Member
Am a newbies & would like to share some thoughts here...

we're together for 3 yrs n he did a proposal last year...

Have not set a date for wedding cos he wanted to apply a flat 1st

Not lucky enuf to get from BTO and still no movement of our marriage plan till now...

Confronted him & he said there will b no wedding plan till he got a flat!

So... shall I leave him? House more important?

Pls advice


New Member
Hi Yukimaki,

Hmm.... It depends on individual.

For me, I would prefer to have my guy think of settling the housing issue first before our marriage plan. So that we have a nest of our own after we got married. Rather than an uncertain future on where to stay after we got married.

You gotta ask yourself from within, which is more important for yourself. Guess this question, only you have the answer to it.


New Member
chilli queen TQ for ur reply

yes, I do agreed with the roof over our head 1st, but the answer that he gave me was IF there's no house there will b no chance of getting married.

kinda upset though


New Member
Did you suggest where to stay if you are married with a house first? What is his response? I would also want a flat first before my marriage plan because my own room is pretty small and i want my wife to be more comfortable when we live together.

Is he sharing a room with his brother now?


Active Member
yes, i think u should leave him. it will solve the problem of getting the flat. he can always woo u back after getting the flat...

i guess problem is he needs someone to apply together with?

anyway is there an urgency to have a wedding ceremony? cos that's all u can have for now rite? - a wedding ceremony and dinner?


New Member
Thanx for the above advice.

Yes, we r renting a room for now cos his mum sold her house away so as to earn profits... N I came from a big families who's staying in a 4 rm flat with 3 younger brothers...

We plan to have a simple wedding on next year( but we've not done anything yet)

I guess things isn't that simple den juz getting marriage


New Member
Basically, you only want to get married in name and have not thought of anything else yet. And he is the one who is worried for the future? Have you even thought of the life you will be having after you got married?


New Member
Life is not that easy. Marriage is about spending the future with someone you love but a proper planning about the future is also important too.

There are couples whom get marry for the name and dont have a proper planning, things like housing, having kids and the future.

I do see couple struggle due to improper planning before marriage. Guess signing on the paper is not as easy as just putting your signature on it.

But think you are lucky that he do plan for the future. So is will be better both of you discuss about it in detail about what is the view of both of you in this issues and understand each other concern.


New Member
So the two of you are already staying together?
Maybe that's why he felt there isn't a hurry for the wedding?
Well, did you ask him for the reason? and listen to what's his reason and concerns? May be he wants to save more money for the house first? Or He wants to have the ceremony at the new house?
Thinking of getting of a house first I think is not wrong at all, I guess if both of you love each other and have decided to spend the rest of your lives together, things can be discussed and work out without much problem. That's what I think.


New Member
Hi Eddie,

Yes, we'r staying together. No doubt he has all the plans for the house but he's kinda take things for granted.

My thinking is if b4 n marriage he's gg to b like that... I might suffer till the day I die ba? Haha...

If u ask every woman, I think they r more keen of what kinda marriage life they want den dump all savings into the house n pay off the loan till u r old.

For me simple wedding n marriage life is fine. But I dunwan to tie up by the house If things dun work up well enuf. I've seen too many divorcing friends been tie up by their house.

After seeing all the suggestion been brought up here, I know what I want.

I would cherish the time that I can b with him n wedding things n house will let natural takes it course.

I oways believe if the things doesn't belong to u dub force it cos god will take back double of what u take.