Happen to find out that hubby searching for informations of ex gf ( 1st love), thru website, twitter, friendster etc. Feel very disturbed. He has been a lovely and responsible hubby to me. and i understand that it might be a form of sweet memory everyone has. I still feel very hurt.
Husband still missing ex gf
- Thread starter mrs_beast
- Start date
susanna_low
New Member
It's good to close 1 eye and we will feel appreciated.
there's a saying... it's better not to know sometimes....
I must admit my wife is not my 1st love,, I have gone through your hubby stage where I wanted to get in touch with my ex and I did talk to her and even met her once. But nothing happens actually it was for the better we manage to clear things up.
I would suggest you trust him if you love him you should trust him also... As long he deosnt change and he is still the same person you marry then you have nothing to worry.
I must admit my wife is not my 1st love,, I have gone through your hubby stage where I wanted to get in touch with my ex and I did talk to her and even met her once. But nothing happens actually it was for the better we manage to clear things up.
I would suggest you trust him if you love him you should trust him also... As long he deosnt change and he is still the same person you marry then you have nothing to worry.
infojunkie
Active Member
the heart is made up of different compartments... one of them is called "Memory".
it's locked most of the time.
but every once in a while, u will want to revisit it for old time's sake...
u unlock the door and enter... not forgetting to open the windows to let the fresh air in...
cos u're gonna stay there for a day or 2
it's locked most of the time.
but every once in a while, u will want to revisit it for old time's sake...
u unlock the door and enter... not forgetting to open the windows to let the fresh air in...
cos u're gonna stay there for a day or 2
Dont worry Mrs Beast trust him and dont let your insecurity cloud your trust and love for him. If your hubby loves you he wont stray... if he does you know what that means
I am telling you this from a guy's perspective
I love my wife and I think I cant replace her with anyone else
I think he loves you too just give him the space there are times you would want to do stuffs on your own also.
I am telling you this from a guy's perspective
miloice
Well-Known Member
Don't you ever wonder how your ex is doing? And wouldn't you be happy for him/her to know they are doing very fine and have a good family life?
I would. Is that something so hurtful and hard to phantom? If you are honest enough with yourself, it boils to your own insecurity. Can you handle that or would you transfer that responsibility to your spouse?
I would. Is that something so hurtful and hard to phantom? If you are honest enough with yourself, it boils to your own insecurity. Can you handle that or would you transfer that responsibility to your spouse?
Don't know if this is helpful, but I'm still in touch once in a while with all my exes. They were very important in my life once, and life is too short to throw away such friendships even though we have broken up. Doesn't mean I don't love my SO. In fact, since she knows and has no problem with this, it let's me be myself around her, which is refreshing in a relationship.
@ JR
Yeah true... we have our own past before we met our wife or current partner and we cant just anyhow forget those they have become part of our life... I believed even the TS should also have her 1st love that is if not his current husband
Sadly i share the same fate as the TS husband my wife too is very insecure of my 1st love, well i think she's scared that anytime my ex like to get me back i would left her.... thats where she is wrong my ex was my 1st love but my wife is my only love
she's my life, like the air i breathe and the water i drink thats how important my wife to me. i hope TS could see that to his hubby
Yeah true... we have our own past before we met our wife or current partner and we cant just anyhow forget those they have become part of our life... I believed even the TS should also have her 1st love that is if not his current husband
Sadly i share the same fate as the TS husband my wife too is very insecure of my 1st love, well i think she's scared that anytime my ex like to get me back i would left her.... thats where she is wrong my ex was my 1st love but my wife is my only love
My husband is also still in touch with a few of his ex gfs, and I dun think there's anything wrong with it, 'cause even though they have broken up, still can be friends... Anyway, a number of them have either gotten married or are engaged... I guess what was over was over, and what is meant to be yours will be yours... Sometimes, by having restrictions, things might be worse... So it's best to have an open mind
Have trust in your husband
miloice
Well-Known Member
its not that 1st love is always most memorable. The current relationship and marriage is the one that matters this moment right now. But, we have our past. Our ex are part of our history, it doesn't disappear. Its foolish to want to compare or get jealous with the past. We cannot change history. We look ahead and not backwards.
Hi! I know guys might feel that i am being petty to waste time over such issues. Just that I will keep wondering, all these years they have not contacted at all and we don even know anything abt her now, but hubby still looking for her? Maybe really, it is a type of sweet memory.. and curiosity, But heart just feel a 'sting'. I stil think of my ex sometimes, but just pure thinking, not to the extend of searching via so many channels.. Anyway, i still love my hubby and have not think of exposing him, cause it will make things worst. Just keep this as a secret within me. But to the guys.. it you find her wife / gf still searching / hanging out with their ex? and maybe not letting you know, what will you do?? Ladies, i think most of us cannot tolerate this, right. Or am i the odd one??
)
Mrs Beast, maybe u're the odd one out.
I do check out my ex bfs online too even though I'm married. It's just a curiosity about how they're getting on. It really doesn't mean I miss them or want to seek opportunities to get back with them (hell no haahaa). Sometimes it's human nature to want to know that you yourself are having a better life than ur exes or that the other party is leading a gd life too...nothing wrong with that. So perhaps you should really keep an eye close. My hubby's ex gf is also my friend...does that mean they can't meet up anymore? No right?
I do check out my ex bfs online too even though I'm married. It's just a curiosity about how they're getting on. It really doesn't mean I miss them or want to seek opportunities to get back with them (hell no haahaa). Sometimes it's human nature to want to know that you yourself are having a better life than ur exes or that the other party is leading a gd life too...nothing wrong with that. So perhaps you should really keep an eye close. My hubby's ex gf is also my friend...does that mean they can't meet up anymore? No right?
Hi Mrs Beast, I understand how you feel as my husband does that too. Even though we are married, he still check out his ex's fb and friendster. There were occasions when they have lunches together without my knowledge. (P.S. He is the kind who sends his female colleagues home too.)
We used to "fight" over this issue. However, I have learnt to be more confident of myself and of our marriage. More importantly, to trust him. Besides, I agree that it is normal to want to continue the friendships.
Don't worry too much. If something is very wrong, it will show soon. Thus, there is no point worrying over the unknown. A confident person is more attractive.
We used to "fight" over this issue. However, I have learnt to be more confident of myself and of our marriage. More importantly, to trust him. Besides, I agree that it is normal to want to continue the friendships.
Don't worry too much. If something is very wrong, it will show soon. Thus, there is no point worrying over the unknown. A confident person is more attractive.
I agree with ume-chan.
Seriously speaking, a woman needs to have confidence in herself and in the marriage. Because frankly, if a man wants to cheat, you can't stop him and you'll soon realise. So there's no pt guessing here. I don't see this checking ex gfs out online as 'doing something behind your back'. I'm sure, Mrs Beast, you wouldn't like it too if he started telling you, "Dear, I like to find out how my ex gfs are doing...can I?" That sounds ridiculous. From what I see, he hasn't crossed any line or anything so don't be too quick to react and feel bad about this whole thing. Stay cool.
Seriously speaking, a woman needs to have confidence in herself and in the marriage. Because frankly, if a man wants to cheat, you can't stop him and you'll soon realise. So there's no pt guessing here. I don't see this checking ex gfs out online as 'doing something behind your back'. I'm sure, Mrs Beast, you wouldn't like it too if he started telling you, "Dear, I like to find out how my ex gfs are doing...can I?" That sounds ridiculous. From what I see, he hasn't crossed any line or anything so don't be too quick to react and feel bad about this whole thing. Stay cool.
Mrs Beast,
The last time I manages to talk/contact my ex after we broke up was like 3-4 years ago only. I also didn't mentioned her to my wife it was my mom who told my wife she was my 1st love
(I love my mom hehe) I am married now for 15 years so me and my ex never talk or make contact to each other for 11-12 years. I wanted to speak to my ex to finally settle things out we broke up and never spoke to each other again so there was still un settled things we need to settle... So we meet one time and talk and clear things out... We kinda laugh at each other knowing each other site of the story. And after that we shake hands wish each other well and parted. We do ping each other from time to time just to say hi and hello. Oh BTW my ex is also married like me
Mrs Beast trust your hubby give him space... if he cross the line then you can do hatever you want to him
The last time I manages to talk/contact my ex after we broke up was like 3-4 years ago only. I also didn't mentioned her to my wife it was my mom who told my wife she was my 1st love
Mrs Beast trust your hubby give him space... if he cross the line then you can do hatever you want to him
miloice
Well-Known Member
There are many reasons why one wouldn't tell... for one, he understand you enough to know your insecure nature. But, it doesn't mean he thinks he is somehow cheating to maintain contact with his ex. Neither does it suggest that he hasn't let go of that relationship.
There number problem with insecurity, it comes with blindness of their issues. They make their mates accountable for their mood swings and drama.
There number problem with insecurity, it comes with blindness of their issues. They make their mates accountable for their mood swings and drama.
Mrs beast, if it makes you feel better, my BF has all his exes on his facebook account!! He even showed me who they are and told me when they have been together. -_-
I also like to search for people I've liked before, on the internet, facebook and all. It's not that I miss them, it's more out of curiosity and kaypoh-ness that I want to know how they are doing.
Don't look too much into it
I also like to search for people I've liked before, on the internet, facebook and all. It's not that I miss them, it's more out of curiosity and kaypoh-ness that I want to know how they are doing.
Don't look too much into it
HI Ariel, thanks! As least your BF still shows it to you, but for me, it is done behind my back. Well, don worry, I have decided to take it as an ' individual ' case. But I realised that he tends to delete his browsing history now, so I am actually unable to track anymore..
recently i went back to reservist... and there were like 20 copies of past issues of 8Days mag... i have never bought this mag for as long as i can remember... but being bored in army, i flipped thru and found a very interesting article which was titled something like "Whatever Happened To..."
it is the nicest read i've had in awhile... knowing what happened to past actors/celebrities who have since disappeared from our local screens.
during our last school gathering, most of what we catch up on is who is now doing what, who has migrated, who has deceased, even who has had a sex-change. i was from an all-boys school.
when we meet old frens... our typical question would be "what are u doing now?"...
my point is simple... we DO wonder from time to time, what old frens or acquaintances are doing... just becos someone does that, does not mean he/she misses the person or has intention to rekindle old flames...
it is the nicest read i've had in awhile... knowing what happened to past actors/celebrities who have since disappeared from our local screens.
during our last school gathering, most of what we catch up on is who is now doing what, who has migrated, who has deceased, even who has had a sex-change. i was from an all-boys school.
when we meet old frens... our typical question would be "what are u doing now?"...
my point is simple... we DO wonder from time to time, what old frens or acquaintances are doing... just becos someone does that, does not mean he/she misses the person or has intention to rekindle old flames...
trinity4ever
New Member
Hi Mrs Beast
Just want to let you know that I understand how you feel. I rem when i 1st found out that my partner had tried to look for his 1st 'love' (before knowing me), I was very upset. Like yr hubby, he purposely signed up FB to look for her, went to plcs that she used to frequent etc.
Well, most would thk I over-reacted cos that was before he knew me but I guess, I just didn't feel gd cos to me, it shows how impt she is to him. And the question is, would I be able to replace her in his heart.
My partner knew how I felt and assured me that he would nvr look for her again since we are together. I guess if he ever sees her again, I doubt there wld be anythg going-on. Just that I might not be too happy ;p haha... I admit... I'm just petty.
Maybe you can voice out yr feeling to yr hubby cos he may hv thought you wouldn't mind. Communication, understanding & trust are very impt.
Just want to let you know that I understand how you feel. I rem when i 1st found out that my partner had tried to look for his 1st 'love' (before knowing me), I was very upset. Like yr hubby, he purposely signed up FB to look for her, went to plcs that she used to frequent etc.
Well, most would thk I over-reacted cos that was before he knew me but I guess, I just didn't feel gd cos to me, it shows how impt she is to him. And the question is, would I be able to replace her in his heart.
My partner knew how I felt and assured me that he would nvr look for her again since we are together. I guess if he ever sees her again, I doubt there wld be anythg going-on. Just that I might not be too happy ;p haha... I admit... I'm just petty.
Maybe you can voice out yr feeling to yr hubby cos he may hv thought you wouldn't mind. Communication, understanding & trust are very impt.
sgbabydoll
Active Member
Trinity, you are NOT petty. You have inferiority complexly and low self-esteem.
"Just want to let you know that I understand how you feel. I rem when i 1st found out that my partner had tried to look for his 1st 'love' (before knowing me), I was very upset. Like yr hubby, he purposely signed up FB to look for her, went to plcs that she used to frequent etc. "
Agreed with doll, u are having some serious problem.
Agreed with doll, u are having some serious problem.
