This year is our 13th year of marriage and we have two very young children now. In general, my husband is not a bad guy. He is responsible, mild-tempered, we hardly quarrel, always gives in to me, caring, generous, romantic but likes to keep things and worries to himself. He first cheated on me when I was pregnant with our firstborn. The other woman was 12 years younger than him and a colleague at work. He confessed the extramarital affair to me when our firstborn turned one. Why? Because that silly young girl threatened to look for me and expose their affair (in the end she did came to see me). So he confessed first and admitted that it all happened during my pregnancy. I was in shocked and realised that throughout my pregnancy, I had a very strong gut feeling that something's wrong. Though he was still caring but the vibes were just not right and the lack of new father excitement was amiss. I put it off as me being tired and overly sensitive during the pregnancy. True enough my gut feeling was right all along. Sighs. He also attributed it to the lack of communication between us. Despite what he did was completely despicable and disgusted, I chose to forgive him. Reason because he showed remorse, drafted up measures to deter himself from astray, and made promises to me, my parents and his parents that he will not commit such stupid mistake again. And for the sake of giving my child a complete family, we reconciled. Fast forward 2 years, our second baby was born. Just when I thought my life was good and blissful, one day the same gut feeling kicked in again. Nothing unusual happened but it was an oddly strong feeling that directed me to probe further. I checked his phone, nothing found. Checked his wallet, nothing. Checked his car, nothing too. And so I thought if he really wants to cheat, with his experience he would have covered his track well. Then I secretly hacked into his phone. OMFG. All shits came out like a diarrhoea. He was indeed having an affair with his colleague (where he joined a new company for just 2 months). She was a senior staff very close to the CEO, married with a 2 year old kid, same age as my husband. She shamelessly came to my house for mahjong twice and also invited us to her house during CNY... all these while they were together already. When I found out things from his phone, my mind went blank and I cried so hard in my office's toilet. That very night I confronted him, he could still lie straight in my face. Until I showed him what I've got, he went silence then explained that it was nothing romantic but to make use of her to boost his career. Few days later I chased him out of the house and prepared to divorce. I also contacted that woman's husband and showed him proof about the affair and which hotel they went. That wuss already suspected the two of them and wanted to divorce her after confirming the affair, but decided to forgive her anyway because their new business venture and for the sake of their only child. Good for him, lucky her. It has been five months since we are separated. I have to put the divorce on hold due to some reasons. He has been trying to make me change my mind and declared that he will never divorce me. He cried many times, his hands were trembling as he plead for another chance to prove his love for me. He said that the loss of his wife and children hurts him the most. He also lost weight and looked haggard. Honestly, I'm so numb now that I don't know how to feel and think anymore. Now he continues to court me, shower me with care and concerns, surprised me with little stuff... Every weekend we will spend time together as family, bringing the kids out to play. He would flirt with me and made me laugh with some lame jokes. Not gonna lie, it brings back the happy feeling when we were together. With such a bad track record but he still wants to keep the family together, should I give him another chance? I'm really seriously terribly scare because I will be the biggest f**king idiot if he commits the same shit for the third time. At this very moment, I'm mentally and emotionally scarred and tired. I don't know what to do. I still love him but no longer enough to turn blind eye on his mistakes. I'm considering marriage counselling but not sure how it can help me heal and help us move on. What would you do if you're in my shoes? Does anyone has happily-ever-after stories after betrayal like this?