Hi Joyce,
After reading to your post, i feel that you are looking down on your hubby since the very initial stage.
You feel that he is a Malaysian, who has lower status than you and so as his family members, right?
Well, i need to remind you.. Generally guys are ego creature. They need their wife to respect him especially in front of their family members and friends! But from what i read in your post, you seem like never give face to your hubby in front of others.
I feel that you are very proud of being an educated spore woman.. But you know among my single male friends, 90% of the guys wish their wife is Malaysian..u know y? Because generally they feel Malaysian girl is more gentle, caring and understanding! It clearly shows that guy doesnt need a wife who is highly educated, who can earn a lot..but they just need a wife who is gentle and caring! I remembered one of my manager told me..guy actually very very simple. they just hope when they reach home after working for long hours, their wife can wait for them with smiling face with a bowl of hot soup. Then he will be very very satisfy. He also told me that if the wife able to do that, the man will know no matter how pretty outside girl are, he will always know his wife still the best.
You mentioned that you don't like to cook and like to eat outside. I'm same with you too. Before dating with my hubby, i hate to cook and enter kitchen too! But since i start dating with him, i learnt to fried egg, cook veges, try to borrow recipe to improve my cooking skill etc. I feel that it is my responsibility to take care his diet. sometimes guy also need ppl to pamper them.
Please don't try to influence by your mom too much. Judge yourself whether this marriage is worth for you to work out or not. Don't listen too much from your mom.
Since now you already have 2 kids, divorce is not the best solution as it not only involves you and your hubby, but also another 2 innocent kids. I will suggest you both to seek for marriage counselling. At the same time, you should also try to control your temper. Try to love his family as your own. Hope you both will patch up soon!