Recently I found out my hubby cheated me again!What must I do? 3 years ago, he cheated me and I willing to forgive and forget. We tried to give each other chance cos of our child.I tried to fulfil as a wife's role. I thought everything goes well. Now I found out he cheated me again. I'm so damn heart broken. My heart told me to move on as he's not worth for me. But what about my 2 children? The youngest is around 2 years old. I think I will be going depression soon..
Hubby cheated again!!!
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susanna_low
New Member
Did you check out the fact? Sometimes because of the past and the trust isn't there anymore, it's easy to jump into conclusion.
Take some time to cool down before communicate with him. Don't lose it in the presence of the kids.
Find someone to look after the kids for some time off.
If you need a listening ear, there will always be someone here. Talk it out and don't keep it in your heart.
Take some time to cool down before communicate with him. Don't lose it in the presence of the kids.
Find someone to look after the kids for some time off.
If you need a listening ear, there will always be someone here. Talk it out and don't keep it in your heart.
Found 2 hotel check in.I Can't believe it!!I have not confronted him yet. I am lost now. Now my worry are my children. I really dont want them to have grow up with no father. But on other hand, I am going mentally and physically tired soon if I will to keep quiet and live like nothing happen. I know some people can tolerate but I don't think I want to. It's v mental tired. Currently my children are in either student care and Childcare. My in laws helping look after in evening till I went to fetch. My siblings stay quite far. To engage their help everyday, difficult unless I shifted near them. Look like I have no one to turn to.can someone pls share and advise me how to go through this?I may become mental stress soon.....
Down, How is yr relationship with yr hubby?
Let us not focus on the affair 1st. U have to look at yr relationship with yr hubby. Is it good? How do u feel towards each other? Are u ready to accept him back, forgive n forget?
Confrontation is a risky step n u must do it with care. What happen if confronted n he tells u he love someone else? R u ready to leave? Not easy to raise 2kids alone.
Maybe u can foster a closer relationship with hubby. Let him realize tat u love him dearly n this family needs him. Be nice to him n hopefully he will wake up n stop his affair. Give him sometime. The best time to talk (not confront) him is when u have cool down & he is in a relative good mood.
If yr relationship with hubby is stronger then more difficult for a third party to come in. So start focusing n building the relationship. Make hubby feel blissful to b with family, plan more family activities, etc..
Let us not focus on the affair 1st. U have to look at yr relationship with yr hubby. Is it good? How do u feel towards each other? Are u ready to accept him back, forgive n forget?
Confrontation is a risky step n u must do it with care. What happen if confronted n he tells u he love someone else? R u ready to leave? Not easy to raise 2kids alone.
Maybe u can foster a closer relationship with hubby. Let him realize tat u love him dearly n this family needs him. Be nice to him n hopefully he will wake up n stop his affair. Give him sometime. The best time to talk (not confront) him is when u have cool down & he is in a relative good mood.
If yr relationship with hubby is stronger then more difficult for a third party to come in. So start focusing n building the relationship. Make hubby feel blissful to b with family, plan more family activities, etc..
Really thanks for yr advice. So far he cares for kids. No big
In Our relationship. Weekend we bring kids out. He will join in family gathering with my siblings.I just cannot tolerate his unfaithful. I am living in fear of getting any illness if he keeps unfaithful. I know raising 2 kids alone not easy esp I am working. I already forgive and accept him back once. Now he still do that to the family. A leapord never change its spot.
In Our relationship. Weekend we bring kids out. He will join in family gathering with my siblings.I just cannot tolerate his unfaithful. I am living in fear of getting any illness if he keeps unfaithful. I know raising 2 kids alone not easy esp I am working. I already forgive and accept him back once. Now he still do that to the family. A leapord never change its spot.
susanna_low
New Member
Check in as FB check in or hotel receipts? Go for a body check up if possible.
Perhaps u want to leave your kids with your in laws before you ask him out for a discussion.
Plan your next step after the discussion and separation doesn't have to be immediate. Is there any close friend that you can confide to?
If you are really determined to walk out, the next big step will be housing issues, custody of the kids and monthly alimony for the kids.
Perhaps u want to leave your kids with your in laws before you ask him out for a discussion.
Plan your next step after the discussion and separation doesn't have to be immediate. Is there any close friend that you can confide to?
If you are really determined to walk out, the next big step will be housing issues, custody of the kids and monthly alimony for the kids.
See see see, Ting Yi?
"What have I done wrong as a wife?"
It's almost always like that, so uninteresting. LOL~
Down,
Seriously, you are a stupid woman.
This is not your One, he doesn't love you, you have kids with him... you are scare of getting sex disease from him... LOL~
Actually I don't feel like saying this but... you really need a divorce.
But raising two kids alone is not easy, as you already said... OMG... Are you really suitable for divorce?
"What have I done wrong as a wife?"
It's almost always like that, so uninteresting. LOL~
Down,
Seriously, you are a stupid woman.
This is not your One, he doesn't love you, you have kids with him... you are scare of getting sex disease from him... LOL~
Actually I don't feel like saying this but... you really need a divorce.
But raising two kids alone is not easy, as you already said... OMG... Are you really suitable for divorce?
There's not much a wife can do when the husband behaves this way. The only thing is to refrain having sex with him by telling him you don't want to risk having any diseases and look at him like he's a dirty old man. Then find back your confidence, dress up well so when he wants it, you don't give. Makes him work hard to gain back your trust. DIY yourself if the need arises. It might backfire though.
cococherry
New Member
Whether have u fulfill yr duties as a mother or wife doesnt matters to him anymore. He had chosen to have sex with another woman over you or family. And taken u for granted for forgiven him the first time with ease.
By revenging doesn't help u or him cause I'm sure all the more he can use it to feel less guilty.
What are your plans if worst situation is that he couldn't change and you have to divorce?
By revenging doesn't help u or him cause I'm sure all the more he can use it to feel less guilty.
What are your plans if worst situation is that he couldn't change and you have to divorce?
Anyway people don't have much sexual morality in this age. Premartial sex / adultery is not considered a "sin" for many people although they are not really willing to admit. Some men actually treat going to brothels, ktv as a form of charity towards the "poor" sweet young things over there.
Some Thai women actually view their husband visiting prostitues as "meaningless" sex and are fine with it. Sex workers nowadays no longer have a sense of shame, in fact according to many ladies in thailand,working in Macdonalds is more degrading than working as a prostitute.
Sources:
http://www.sexwork.com/Thailand/buddhism.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Prostitution_in_Thailand
Some Thai women actually view their husband visiting prostitues as "meaningless" sex and are fine with it. Sex workers nowadays no longer have a sense of shame, in fact according to many ladies in thailand,working in Macdonalds is more degrading than working as a prostitute.
Sources:
http://www.sexwork.com/Thailand/buddhism.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Prostitution_in_Thailand
My parents no longer around. It will be tough if I will to send 2 kids to different pl. one in student care and one in child care
And both at different area. I can let My boy take Sch bus. I look for neighbour around who can look after him in the morning and see him to the Sch bus. as for the little one, I will leave her in my downstairs Childcare and I fetch her myself. Sound Perfect.
And both at different area. I can let My boy take Sch bus. I look for neighbour around who can look after him in the morning and see him to the Sch bus. as for the little one, I will leave her in my downstairs Childcare and I fetch her myself. Sound Perfect.
cococherry
New Member
Down, u can continue to leave them at yr in law's place if the relationship with them is stil good. Friend of mine divorced same reason leave her kid to her in law to take care even though hold custody. Most clinics can do the test for u, u just need to tell doc u wanted a medical check up
Stupid woman... how to bless you?
If you want check up for STDs, go to DSC clinic at Bugis, it's probably the cheapest place to do testing.
I am not sure if you are fit for divorce with 2 kids... Why the fock you married in the first place is really funny.
But I can tell you, if you place your kids at childcare, you could apply for grants to lessen your load. It'd cost $60 per child in most cases.
Seriously, hopefully you still have a second chance...
If you want check up for STDs, go to DSC clinic at Bugis, it's probably the cheapest place to do testing.
I am not sure if you are fit for divorce with 2 kids... Why the fock you married in the first place is really funny.
But I can tell you, if you place your kids at childcare, you could apply for grants to lessen your load. It'd cost $60 per child in most cases.
Seriously, hopefully you still have a second chance...
Actually DSC clinic is in little India at kelantan lane, according to the website. There are also family clinics registered w the MOH tat provides such service and i believe its less intimidating as well. I've been told that anonymous testing and confidential testing is different. Anonymous apparently means no records at all, confidential means can be recorded w ministry if positive. So u gotta double check and see which one ur more comfortable with.
Down, make sure u r ready for confrontation. I know of a friend who suspect her hubby of having girlfriends. But she did not have a direct confrontation but started off in a more relaxed mood.
As they talk, she slowly bring up the big question. Couples need to know the right way to talk to each other. Dun ever put yrself in conversation tat lead to dangerous level.
Remember not to b too agitated n impulsive or drama. In between talks give him some time to ponder dun push him too much.
Most importantly, we wife just want to know :-
1) if he still loves me
2) if he still loves the family
3) wat is our problem
If he still loves u n the family, u can consider to give him n yrself a 3rd chance. Take this opportunity to improve yr r/s n dissolve the problem. No one is perfect n no couple is perfect. But we have to try to resolve differences n problem. Only then can the r/s grow stronger n better.
As they talk, she slowly bring up the big question. Couples need to know the right way to talk to each other. Dun ever put yrself in conversation tat lead to dangerous level.
Remember not to b too agitated n impulsive or drama. In between talks give him some time to ponder dun push him too much.
Most importantly, we wife just want to know :-
1) if he still loves me
2) if he still loves the family
3) wat is our problem
If he still loves u n the family, u can consider to give him n yrself a 3rd chance. Take this opportunity to improve yr r/s n dissolve the problem. No one is perfect n no couple is perfect. But we have to try to resolve differences n problem. Only then can the r/s grow stronger n better.
Down, if I were u... I wOnt. Though , in today's social acceptance abt broken family n kids growing up in single parent family... Many still "look down" n give those funny look at those kids. I may sound harsh n ppl may say I'm shallow.. But it's the fact. We, mummies may nOt mind the hurt n Pain when ppl look that way at us. But definately u won't want to put ur kids thru this? They may understand n they may not. They might live better without a violent n abusive dad. But ur husband isn't tat kind of Person. He's unfaithful n u're hurt. Will u stoP ur bleeding heart but risk ur kids mentality? Wad u get in return? Ur pride? Ur ego? Ur freedom towards love? I dunno... But for me,if I were u... I won't... I will continue to live ami amicabily with husband n bring up the kids well n teach them educate them together, with love. Love has many kinds. Maybe no more romantic love toward each Other as husband n wife. But u both definately still has the love of responsible mother n father. The day I give birth to my daughter n son, I tell myself... I will not take away ur rights of a complete family, a fatherly love, a motherly love & the warmth of a happy family. My husband in future may love other woman but I make sure he has to fulfill his role of a father to my children. At least till in their teenage years when they r more independent n can learn to live n decide on their own. Ur kids r still young n vulnerable . They need lots of attentions n care, a mother can never be a fit into a father role. Be patient. If u still want to salvage this marriage, do it the soft way. Man tend to go soft n melt when woman r gentle. If I jus wan to break free... Decide to give it up n tired... Take a break or short holiday... Think it over carefully before deciding.. Sometimes when we mummy have kids, ESP at such young age... We tend to be more agitated n emotionally stresses up. Cheer up
Hi sweet 40, thanks for yr great reply and Oso big thank to the rest. Finally talk over. I am glad that I have prepared all the evidence. Given him chance to explain but he still lie. He even call up his buddy to talk to me. That guy really his 'good' buddy. Finally his excuse is stress with work. Can't quit cos of family! Say I always talk about condo. Making me feel guilty now again. But I'm glad I have made the right move for myself. He's not remorseful. As for the kids, I really feel sorry for them.i have to give double love and care to them now. Will be next new chapter soon. I need counsellor for myself so that I can learn how to take good care of my little ones emotion. What should I tell my son abt divorce. He's too young todowner stand now.
susanna_low
New Member
Aiya scope, like wat u ever say..nobody want to step into a marriage doomed for failure.
Failure is not a big deal but the ability to accept the fact, cut short the losses and move on.
In fact, I have lotsa gf who's doing very well after their divorce.
Confidence, happy, looking great and having a bashful time with the kids and building great career.
All these won't happen if they don't have courage to walk out of their lousy marriage.
Put their new beau beside the ex hb, the latter look like a pc of crap.
Failure is not a big deal but the ability to accept the fact, cut short the losses and move on.
In fact, I have lotsa gf who's doing very well after their divorce.
Confidence, happy, looking great and having a bashful time with the kids and building great career.
All these won't happen if they don't have courage to walk out of their lousy marriage.
Put their new beau beside the ex hb, the latter look like a pc of crap.
Ting Yi,
Actually I was thinking more about the kids. At most she won't have sex with the man... Divorce is easy, but what about the children? There is no such thing as double love! LOL~
It's not about courage, it's that the stake is the children.
I don't know how you women think and I don't care if anyone agrees with me, but my other concern about this woman is she is too stupid to be true... ...
It's NOT love lah... The way she put it is like she is willing to go on with the husband if the husband is 'loyal' but doesn't loves her.
It's very unhealthy that marriage is the key in this row.
Actually I was thinking more about the kids. At most she won't have sex with the man... Divorce is easy, but what about the children? There is no such thing as double love! LOL~
It's not about courage, it's that the stake is the children.
I don't know how you women think and I don't care if anyone agrees with me, but my other concern about this woman is she is too stupid to be true... ...
It's NOT love lah... The way she put it is like she is willing to go on with the husband if the husband is 'loyal' but doesn't loves her.
It's very unhealthy that marriage is the key in this row.
Thanks for everyone concern. Now I feel much better. We didn't talk much this morning. Now I know when u confront guys, u must get all evidence prepare. They can really give all sorts of excuses. I dun bother him anymore. Now what is my next move? Separate or divorce? Or maybe stay separate in same roof?pls share views.tks
If you are not planning to remarry... or if you are already unattractive and also got 2 kids, stay separate under one roof... till maybe he divorce you could be a wiser choice. It's better to wait till the kids know what is what then officially divorce.
In cases when the mother loves the children, there are women who do this until their children are ready. You have to realise you have started it out all wrong, so do you now want your children to be stakes? Can they accept a step-father?
I have read others' replies to you, but they are mostly immature folks who are gossipy and gambling with you and your children.
Do you feel secured enough to raise two kids all by yourself? They will grow up and their needs will grow too. Then adolencence, the rebellious time when you are coping with single parenthood.
You better think carefully before you jump again.
In cases when the mother loves the children, there are women who do this until their children are ready. You have to realise you have started it out all wrong, so do you now want your children to be stakes? Can they accept a step-father?
I have read others' replies to you, but they are mostly immature folks who are gossipy and gambling with you and your children.
Do you feel secured enough to raise two kids all by yourself? They will grow up and their needs will grow too. Then adolencence, the rebellious time when you are coping with single parenthood.
You better think carefully before you jump again.
dinnielooi
Member
u are so mature? Mature man don't go test for STD so often.
U are not even marry, how u know what is right or wrong. What make u more mature than some mummies here.
The reasons many men stray behave like u, thinking the wife can't live without him. Just take it the husband is die, so life still have to go on.
U are not even marry, how u know what is right or wrong. What make u more mature than some mummies here.
The reasons many men stray behave like u, thinking the wife can't live without him. Just take it the husband is die, so life still have to go on.
