How to overcome post abortion effect?

daemonkoh

New Member
Hi Joey,

I respect you & your mum alot..
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petersoo

New Member
Hi, joey

I chanced upon your story and was touched by it. It really took a lot of courage and sacrifice to be a single mom at the age of 22. To me, 18~24 is the golden year of one’s life, you are just beginning to enjoy the carefree, vibrant and colourful life of an ignorant youth and here you are taking up a responsibility of a mother. I always felt single mom under such situation quite special because they tend to be selfless, responsible, tenacious, kind and understand the importance of life and love, they can make a very good life partner. I also think that you are a filial and understanding daugther. I am attracted to you while I read through your story and hope to know you better. I have sent you an email sometime ago which I am pretty open to you to show my sincerity. This is not a scam and we shared the same faith, I hope we can get to know each other slowly.

I am writing here just to let you know I have sent you an email incase you missed it. Thanks.
 

nichie

Member
Oh...I didn't realize that joey has an admirer here..
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Peter, you seriously think this will work? Do you know what kind of troubles you are getting into? Its not as simple as you thought.
 

nichie

Member
What troubles? Oh...its like a 3rd party involved with a divorcee with a kid...how sure are we that they are broke-off for good...like Hope always stressed...there is always the possibility of reconciliation...then what...he is stuck in between...or the guy's family may want them to get married when they find out joey has a boy...how about his family reaction...joey family...the ex reaction for his kid to call other father...too many if and but...falling in love is easy but when come to actual implementation....hmm...one more thing...can a gal accept a new relationship while she is pregnant with other people child...that is why I think it will not work lor....
 

simpleman

Active Member
Why it wouldn't work? It won't work because we are just prejudice.. what is wrong with loving a girl that is pregnant with other guy's baby?

For heaven sake, they are not even married. talking about possibility of reconciliation - there is always a possibility - even after divorce.. so it means we shall never have a relationship just because of the possibility?

It is just all very presumptuous..
 

simpleman

Active Member
Skeptical is perfectly fine. We all should be skeptical of things that we are not sure.. but is there any trouble?

It is more for TS to assess.. if she like you is skeptical - just ignore the email..
 

nichie

Member
Ok...may be a little presumptuous on my part but I am not wrong to tell him that things are not as simple as he thought...a person that are attracted tp a gal by what is written is kind of like a little naïve and simple lei...never consider a lot factors...anyway, can a person find love or gal through such cold calling...I wonder...
 

simpleman

Active Member
Yes, it is just wanting to know better..

as doll said, not a marriage proposal..

so what is the big issue.

And TS will have a right to ignore him..
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
its really no big deal. Skeptical meaning, one shouldn't be naive and understand the risk of internet. Where is the prejudice if you were referring to me.
 

simpleman

Active Member
The prejudice was used in the reply to outcast not referring to your post. I thought it is pretty clear - I have one post replying to you and other posts to outcast
 

nichie

Member
Hi, milo

Yes, internet is full of risk and we should be sceptical but I also read a lot of people finding their spouse online...hmm...may be something similai can happen here too
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I think the prejudice part is referring to me not you.

Yes, its no big deal lah...but peter, has it ever strike your mind that may be she is not interested and ignoring you which why you never get any reply from her?...ok....thts just my guessing lah...don't despair...keep trying...gal like guy to be persistent.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
sm, not so clear leh... its 2 replies one after another. As you mentioned, u don't add or edit your post. You prefer to write another post.

That's why I said "if you were referring to me".
 

simpleman

Active Member
sometime lazy to put name to address to..

But I thought it was clear..

My post to you talked about 'skeptical'. and my posts to outcasts talked about "accepting a girl who is pregnant with other man's kid"


OK. So have to make it clearer next time.
 

dracano

New Member
Peter's post reminded me of a news article I read about a miscarriage woman knowing a pregnant stranger on the Net, going to her home and well, tragedy happened thereafter.
 

petersoo

New Member
Hi

May be all of you find it very funny and think that I am some devious guy lurking under the cover of internet prowling for innocent gal, I am not and joey should know if she read my email, it include some of my very personal information. I also have a feeling that she has read my email but ignore it, but that is ok, it’s a common reaction from people when you received some unsolicited mails. However, I hope she can sense my sincerity and at least we can become online friends for a start. I understand her situation and know the potential problems but I am not deterred. I just want to let her know that everyone has their history and past, and I will not at all disturb or affected by what others think.
 

simpleman

Active Member
peter,

No. I don't judge.. I give you the benefit of doubt.

But it is not important, my opinion. TS's opinion is more important.
 

nichie

Member
Dear peter

Now, you are making me feel guilty lei, I am not making fun of you lah, sorry if I have offended you. Just like to let you know I admire your courage and boldness towards love, hope your sincerity and persistence pays off, good luck! (This is sincerely from bottom of my heart)
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Nothing funny about being skeptical.

Frankly, by reading one email, one would already know who is a predator and who is the sincere nice chap meh?

Being skeptical isn't about judging anyone. Its simply not trusting blindly. It doesn't mean you cannot approach TS at all.
 
Its been sometime before I have the courage to visit this site again….everything is like a dream to me…a bad dream and really wish it is…

I remembered that day vividly about 3 months ago….I was in India for a business trip when I discovered I have spotting, it came intermittently, I was scare as I have not experience such thing before and knew that its not a good sign to have spotting during pregnancy. I called my gynea from India the next day and she told to me to rest more if possible and to check in to a hospital if things get worse. As it was towards the end of the trip, I don’t want to cause any inconvenience to all and went on with the schedule which involves long distance travel by car and train. The spotting went on and off and I just hope that it remains as such till I am back to Singapore. In fact, I was planning to tell my boss the truth after this trip and stop travelling if possible as I progressed to the later pregnancy stage and make travelling difficult and my colleague will discover my bulging tummy. When I was back in Singapore, I planned to visit my gynea the next day, however, on that night at home, I experienced a sharp pain in my abdomen area and blood started to flow down my leg….i screamed for my mom and she immediately send me to the hospital.

There is a frantic activities to try to stabilise the situation but the pain increased in intensity and I can feel fluid flowing out. I was in such pain that I cried but at last the doctor told me that I am having a miscarriage and there is nothing he can do about it. I was devastated upon hearing that and plead with the doctor to save the baby but he shook his head….I started crying and my mom which is at my side in tears asked me to let go repeatedly but I kept shaking my head saying no, no….i don’t want to as I have come so far….i don’t know what the hell is going on…I don’t know when I fell asleep and for how long but when I woke up I am in another room and my mom is still on my side looking tired and worried. When I saw her I cant help but started to cry again, she just hold my hands tightly and let me cried my heart out while wiping the tears from my face. After a while, I saw my dad came in, he walked to my side and holding my hands and patting it gently without a word….its been a long time my dad hold my hands since I am young…I can feel his concern and ambivalence…he looked down and sad…at this moment I uttered ‘I am sorry, dad’…this is the first time in this whole event that I spoke directly to him and apologised…I guess I really owned him an apology to make him went through all these…I knew I have disappointed and humiliated him deeply although none of our friends or relative knew about it yet….then he said ‘I am sorry too’…I don’t know what he supposed to mean but I can saw tears in his eyes….i guess I have hurt him deeply….

Things are now back to normal for me and no one has ever know that what I have gone through except my family…I guess it’s a new beginning for me but I know things are never the same for me again, this event has a tremendous effect on my life, perspective and belief. I am never the same gal I am before and I will always remember I once have a life in me and kill it due to my moment of foolishness and irresponsibleness but I will never forget the wonderful experience I once have for having him/her inside me. I wonder whether I have the courage to get pregnant again if I ever get to marry, its really a terrible experience to lost a baby this way, I guess its as good as an abortion.

My bf, although we have broke-off but he still occasionally sent sms to me to check I am ok and during one of the sms after I lost the baby, I told him the truth and apologised to him for losing the baby. He replied by saying he is very sorry about the whole incident and he knew he has been very selfish and acted cowardly, he hope I will forgive him and give him an opportunity to make up to me. I have mixed feeling and never replied him directly but I guess we will never ever to get back together again and treat it as if nothing has happens.

I have lost faith in Him…I have decided against all odds to keep the baby but He don’t since to appreciate it…isn’t it a gift from Him?...i guess He regretted it and decided to take it back…yes…may be I am not worthy of His gift….i am very disappointed with the outcome although I have kept my faith with Him when I needed most…I should have gone straight for abortion without anyone knowing, at least its kinder to my mom and dad…and I am still a good daughter in their eyes…I once thought I am lost and found Him again but I guess its not to be…I felt an emptiness in me…I felt like I have lost my soul…He is no longer my sanctuary…one day, I was with my friend at waterloo street and finally made up my mind to follow her in to the Kwan Yin Temple to pray. I am always intrigue by the stories I heard and decided to try to ask about my future and try the qian. I got an above average qian and it general meaning is that I have been through a serious set back in my life and things will start to get better from now on…I need to be sincere and accumulate good merits…its seem quite accurate…may be there is really a divine presence there….

My family, it seem everything is alright but I know everyone is careful about their words and not to touch on some of my sensitive feelings…I appreciate that but it make the whole atmosphere in house very strange….its not the usual loving and family feeling but one which is politely warm and friendly…sometime the way dad speak to me is like talking to his friends or colleague and not a daughter…I know a fissure is permanently crafted between us and we will never return to our usual relation…its very sad…I know my mom is very worried about me doing something stupid and try to keep me company and cheer me up…I told her I have make her worried recently and I will not let her worried for me ever again…I will live as happy as I can…she looks relieved but she will still call me when I am out late and came to my room to look at me when she did not see me before she sleep. Sometime, I pretend I am asleep when she came in and I can hear her deep and heavy sigh…I know she is still worried about me…that’s make me very sad and disappointed with myself…I am an adult now but my mom is still worried about me…. I tried to be happy infront of everyone…I want everything to get back to usual as soon as possible….I wanted to forget about this whole damn thing……

I know some of you have written to me and I thank you for your concern and encouragement…I am sorry if I am rude for not replying….its not my intention but I have too many things going through my mind then…I really appreciate all your emails…I am writing here today to let all of you know I am alright and as a final chapter to this thread….I hope it also signify the final closing of this tumultuous chapter of my life and the beginning of the new me. I guess fate has brought me to this site and met a bunch of people like all of you…a bunch of stranger giving advice and encouragement to a girl once lost in life…although there is no happy ending but I have gained a lot from this episode, before I end, I would like to share this song to all who have accompanied me through this journey because you have truly raise me up during the darkest time of my life……http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofYrt9ymTRo

Thank you very much all….love, Joey

Hope my child is back to his loving creator and will forgive me…
 

infojunkie

Active Member
what a hard way to learn a lesson.

but, being inside u, mayb it was borne in on the unborn kid that it'd be a lot better for u & everyone if he/she could cease existing...

thus a graceful exit...

and the only thing u can do to repay this grace is to become a better person.

pls take care
happy.gif
 

nichie

Member
Dear Joey

I am sorry to hear of your lost and felt sad reading your latest update. Please do not blame yourself for the miscarriage because things do happen and miscarriage is quite common in initial stage of pregnancy. To me, you are still a very brave and courageous lady despite what had happen and the evironment that you are in, hope you can pick yourself up again and be a better person in the future. Life is full of challenges and obstacles but it will only strengthen our character by overcoming it. I am not a christian but like my bf always say things happen for a reason but you must have faith in Him to guide you through the storm in life, the tougher life become the stronger you must believe, hope you understand what it means.

I read the whole thread again and strangely it gives me a different feeling and perspective to the whole event as I first read it. I felt that you have done the right thing to keep the baby, despite the outcome now, I still think you have done the right thing. I think what is important in life is to know that you have done the right thing and not too overly concern about the outcome or the view of others. I guess your dad said sorry to you because may be he felt that he too has let you down for not supporting you initially but trust me, parent's love towards the children will never change. I am just back from a volunteer work with my bf organised by his church in Cambodia. I didn't realise people can be so happy and contented with their life with so little that they have, they are just happy that they are alive, living is such a wonderful thing to them. Their living conditions are harsh and they walk miles just to go to school or for basic necessity but they never complain, they just accept in their stride, such is the tanacity and beauty of life.

Joey, you still have your parents that love you, family and friends that care about you, you have a long road ahead of you, I believe this incident will only toughen you up for future challenges, wish you all the best! Pls take care...
 

shannat

New Member
hi joey, sorry to hear abt this. do take care and do not blame yourself as this happens (quite commonly), esp in the first trimester. i wish u well.
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quency

New Member
i am sorry about your situation! It is rough regretting this kind of decision.
You may want to even find a person or a counselor to talk with in person as well.
I have read of abortion support groups available (depending on where you live). You could also call the clinic you used and see if they have any recommendations.

Best of luck to you!!!
 

cathy20

New Member
Killing a poor baby is so sad.
I'd never have an abortion no matter what. It'd haunt you forever knowing that happened.
So I get what you're sayin about psychological stuff.
 

lienweisz

New Member
Just go on with your life that nothing happened! It's just a matter of choice, but hopefully it will never happen again.
 

trlzz

New Member
秀月(一位有天眼通的长期跟随净空老法师的女义工)讲述

First Encounter with the Infant Spirit

The first time when I saw an infant spirit was during my childhood, at that time I did not have contact with the Dharma, and did not have knowledge of the Bardo (The Intermediate State). One day, I saw a child at home, and asked Mother who she was, my mother said that the child should be my older sister (I was the youngest child). My mother did not have any abortions, but she had a miscarriage while she was carrying my older sister.

初识婴灵

我第一次见到婴灵还是小时候,那时我没有接触佛法,没有中阴身这方面的知识。有一天,我在家里看到一个小孩,就问妈妈是谁,妈妈说那小孩应该是我的姐姐(我是家中最小的孩子)。我的母亲没有堕胎,但是曾经在怀我姐姐的时候流产了。

When I grew up, I still did not fully understand the consequences regarding abortion. A few years ago, Master took me to Hong Kong. Once, while going to pay my respects to Master, I had to take the train - it was the first time I was taking the train in Hong Kong. Within the train, I saw a lot of children running around anxiously; age-wise some of them look like infants, while others look like primary school children. I also saw some small children by their mothers’ side, but they look very strange, with devilish, monster-like faces. Their bodies were incomplete; some had limb defects, while others only have their heads! I was very surprised, and asked Master, “Why is there are so many children? Where did they come from?” Master said, “They are water-infant spirits resulting from abortions," so named water-infant spirits, because during an abortion, they are living in the amniotic fluid of the womb. This experience allowed me to understand that there were a great number of people who had abortions, and there are many infant spirits, and these infant spirits are suffering greatly, with heavy resentment.

我长大后,也完全不了解堕胎方面的信息。前几年,师父带我来香港。有一次我要去拜见师父,需要乘地铁,那是我第一次在香港乘地下铁。我在地铁里就看到很多小朋友很慌张地跑来跑去,他们有的像个婴儿,有的像个小学生那么大。我还看到一些小孩子们跟在母亲身边,但是样子很奇怪,面孔也很怪异,像妖怪一样。他们的身体都不是完整的,有的四肢残缺,有的甚至只有一个头!我当时很奇怪,就问师父:「怎么会有这么多小朋友呢?他们都从哪里来呢?」师父说:「他们是堕胎的水婴灵。」之所以称为水婴灵,是因为他们在被堕胎的时候,是生活在子宫的羊水里的。那一次经历让我知道堕胎的人数很多,婴灵很多,这些婴灵很痛苦、怨气很重。

Helping infant spirits to learn about Buddhism

Ever since I learnt that there are many small infant spirits in Hong Kong, I discovered that of the volunteers working in the association, many have undergone abortion. Master said that abortion is a very serious sin, killing - the killing of one’s own flesh and blood, notwithstanding even having a single abortion, with extremely serious karmic retributions. But to my shock, in Hong Kong, people who have undergone two, even three abortions are considered to be the low end of the scale, while people who have undergone seven or eight abortions are very common.

帮助婴灵学佛


自从我那次知道在香港有很多小婴灵之后,我发现在协会工作的义工,有很多都有堕胎的经历。师父说堕胎是很严重的杀业,是杀害自己的亲生骨肉,因此堕胎一个都不得了,果报很严重。但是让我吃惊的是,在香港,堕胎两个、三个都算少的,堕胎七、八个的情况都很常见。

Later on, we established a tablet in the Dharma hall for these infant spirits that have been aborted, and held the Three Refuges Ceremony for them, and to teach them to chant the name of Buddha. During the refuge ceremony, the protective deities/gods took great care of these small infant spirits. Some small infant spirits are very cute; after they took refuge in the Dharma, they experienced great benefits, and would come over to kiss me on my face. These small infant spirits that are able to learn the Dharma have very good-looking appearances.

后来,我们念佛堂就给堕胎婴灵立了牌位,给他们举行三归依仪式,教他们念佛。在归依仪式上,护法神、天神都很照顾这些小婴灵。有些小婴灵很可爱,他们归依佛法之后,感到得了很大的利益,还会过来亲吻我的脸。这些能够学佛的小婴灵,样子都很好看。

If small infant spirits are able to hear the Dharma and obtain benefits, when the opportune time arises, they will leave the Bardo to be reborn. When these little infant spirit are about to leave the Dharma hall, there are several times when they would be crying while coming to see me, saying that they going to be reborn and would be leaving the Dharma hall, and were very reluctant to do so. I advise the children, saying, “Read Di Zi Gui, be obedient, and do not put the emphasis on feelings/emotions!" These small infant spirit have very good-looking appearances, and are transparent.

小婴灵们如果能够听闻佛法,得到法益,在时机成熟的时候,就会离开中阴身去投胎。有几次那些小婴灵在离开念佛堂的时候,会哭哭啼啼地来看我,说他们要投胎了,要离开念佛堂了,很舍不得。我劝孩子们说:「要读《弟子规》,要听话,不要重感情!」这些小婴灵的样子很好看,是透明的。

However, although we have established a tablet for the infant spirits in the Dharma hall, to welcome them to study Buddhism, whether these infant spirits are seriously willing to study Buddhism, chant Buddha’s name, would depend on whether the mother is a serious Buddhist practitioner. The mother of the infant spirit is very important to the latter. If the mother establish a tablet, but did not practise Buddhism seriously and there is no real change in her habits, and have the notion that establishing the tablet is sufficient, then the infant spirit would also run away mischievously, and not chant Buddha’s name in the Dharma hall. Even if the mother can come to the Dharma hall to recite Buddha’s name, but have doubts about the Dharma and moral education, refuse to change bad habits and practices, then even establishing a tablet is of no use, because the infant spirits would not receive the benefits. As one could see, the mother is of paramount importance to the infant spirit!

然而,我们虽然在念佛堂给婴灵们立了牌位,欢迎他们来学佛,但是这些婴灵是不是愿意认真学佛、念佛,还要看母亲是否认真学佛。母亲对婴灵来说非常重要,如果只是立牌位,没有真正学佛、改习气,以为立了牌位就算了,那么婴灵也会顽皮地跑了,不会在念佛堂里乖乖念佛。即使母亲本人能够来到念佛堂念佛,但是对佛法、圣贤教育半信半疑,不肯改毛病习气,这样立牌位也没有什么用,因为婴灵们收不到利益。可见母亲对婴灵来说太重要了!


Mothers who have undergone Abortion: Please do not ignore the infant spirit

Mothers are of vital importance to infant spirits, so under normal circumstances, the aborted infant spirit will always follow the mother, and therefore mothers who have undergone an abortion must not ignore the existence of the infant spirit.

During abortion, foetuses experience extreme suffering and agony, and hence these infant spirits will harbour very deep resentments, and very strong attachments, and would stay in the Bardo state, and not reincarnate. In other words, a woman who has many abortions will have many small infant spirits following her day and night in her present life, and even to the extent of future lives.

Regretfully, current people in modern times do not believe in ghosts and deities, and hence do not believe that there will be small infant spirits that will cling to their mothers for multiple future lifetimes. The act of the mother ignoring their presence will cause the already-resentful/hateful small infant spirit resentment to be angrier and be filled with rage, leading to the infant spirit to seek vengeance and torture upon the mother. This situation is very common.

堕胎的母亲:千万不能忽视婴灵

母亲对婴灵至关重要,所以一般情况下,被堕胎的婴灵会一直跟着母亲,所以曾经有堕胎经历的母亲千万不能忽视婴灵的存在。

胎儿由于被堕掉的时候太痛苦太痛苦了,这些婴灵们会有很重的怨气和很强烈的执着,所以就会停留在中阴身的状态,不会去投胎。也就是说,一位女性曾经堕过多少次胎,就会有多少个小婴灵日夜跟着,终生如此,甚至生生世世都会如此。

遗憾的是,现代人不相信鬼神,所以也就不相信有小婴灵会生生世世缠着母亲。母亲无视他们的存在,会令原本已经十分怨恨的小婴灵更加愤怒,转而报复母亲、折磨母亲,这种情况比比皆是。
 

trlzz

New Member
Several Methods of Vengeance by the Infant spirit

(1) Hatred cause the infant spirit to teeth

As the saying goes, if a person has a very strong resentment or hatred, it is described as “gritting and gnashing the teeth.” For those infant spirits who refuse to let off their mothers, it is the same. The average infant spirit is transparent, like a child, with no teeth and will not grow any teeth. However, I have seen an infant spirit, because of the deep hatred of the mother, actually grow teeth. I saw him attached itself to the mother’s body, scratching and biting the latter, and is after the mother's life. Thus-bitten mother became seriously ill, and soon died. The infant spirit then chased after the mother in her Bardo-state tearing and biting, the-said situation exactly like as it is in the movies.

We should not underestimate the small infant spirit; their capabilities are very strong, and very formidable! Those infant spirits who will not let off their mother, when the mother dies, it will chase and follow their mothers to whichever realm the latter is going, entangling for many lifetimes without pause. If one does not encounter the Dharma, get to learn the correct, moral knowledge, and know how to defuse the resentment, and learn to let go, there is no way to know this cycle of payback will go on for how many generations!

婴灵报复母亲的几种方式

(一)婴灵恨到长牙齿

俗话说,一个人如果有很强烈的愤恨,会恨得「咬牙切齿」。对于那些不肯放过母亲的婴灵来说,也是这样的。一般的婴灵是透明的,像个小孩子,没有牙齿,也不会用牙齿。但是,我曾经看到一位婴灵,由于太憎恨母亲了,居然长出了牙齿。我看见他附在母亲身上,对母亲又抓又咬,来要母亲的命。那位被咬的母亲因而罹患重病,不久身亡。婴灵又追着母亲的中阴身撕咬,其情形好像电影里演的一样。

我们不要小看小婴灵,他们能量很高,很厉害!那些不会放过母亲的婴灵,倘若母亲死亡,他都会一路追着母亲,母亲去那一道,他就跟到那一道,就这样生生世世纠缠不休。如果没有遇到佛法、遇到善知识,知道要化解怨恨、放下执着,不知道要彼此酬偿多少世!

(2) Infant spirits would cause the mother to miscarriage

With regards to small infant spirits, there is one other situation that is very difficult for them to accept, and that is when after the parents have aborted them, but subsequently have other children. They cannot understand, "My parents do not want me, but how come they are willing to have my brother and sister?" They will find their mother and ask, "Mother, why do you not want me?” And their resentment or hatred will double, and lead them to bring down their anger on their brother and sister; they will torture them, and even cause their mother to miscarriage or induce a stillborn situation, as a method of vengeance. For those infant spirits who harbour a very deep resentment and hatred for the mother, they would take advantage of the miscarriage to harm the mother’s life as a way of vengeance.

There is an old Buddhist in the association who is very supportive and protective of the Dharma hall. She would always support the activities of the association and try her best to print Buddhist sutras. She was also very serious in her Buddha-chanting. Once, her daughter-in-law had a miscarriage, and she came especially to see me to repent, saying that she is sorry for not taking good care of her daughter-in-law, and asked me how she should repent.

I saw that her daughter-in-law had an abortion previously, and this miscarriage was caused by the aborted infant spirit. The infant spirit told me, "The miscarriage was caused by me, I actually wanted to take advantage of the circumstances of the miscarriage to harm mother’s life, but I saw grandmother was sincerely devoted to the Dharma, so I did not take mother's life."

The words of infant spirits are true, please believe and do not underestimate them. These little infant spirits are able to grab the mother's womb, and cause heavy bleeding to the uterine. As we could see, the grandmother is a sincere Buddhist, whose devotion benefited the infant spirit, thus avoiding a disaster.

(二)婴灵会令母亲流产

对于小婴灵来说,还有一件事情令他们非常难以接受,这便是父母在将他堕掉之后,又生了弟弟妹妹。他们不能理解:「父母不要我了,怎么还会要弟弟妹妹呢?」他们会找到母亲问:「妈妈为什么不要我?」并对父母的愤恨加倍,并迁怒到弟弟妹妹,会折磨他们,甚至会让母亲流产、或者出现胎死腹中的情况,这是他们的报复方式。对于那些已经对母亲有很深的怨恨、来报怨仇的婴灵来说,甚至可能在等母亲流产的时候,趁机要了母亲的命。

协会有一位老居士,对念佛堂非常护持,总是尽心尽力印经、支持法会活动。这位老人家本人念佛也非常认真。有一次她因为儿媳流产,特别来向我忏悔,说自己对不起媳妇,没有照顾好媳妇,问我应该怎么忏悔。

我看到那位媳妇之前曾经堕胎,所以这次怀孕流产是堕胎婴灵造成的。那个婴灵告诉我:「流产是我搞出来的,我本来是要趁着妈妈流产,拿走妈妈的命!但是,看到奶奶真的在护持正法,所以就没有要妈妈的命。」

婴灵说的话是真的,不能不相信,更不能小看他们。这些怨恨的小婴灵,他能够抓母亲的子宫,让子宫大出血。可见,奶奶认真学佛,也能够让媳妇的婴灵从中受益,化解了一场灾难。

(3) Causing the mother to develop serious illness

Infant spirits retaliate against their mother in many ways, not only through inducing miscarriages. The most common way is to attach themselves to their mother's body constantly; causing discomfort and ailment to the part of the mother’s body where they are attached to. I once saw a very pitiful woman, whose neck had a huge tumour - the infant spirit was inside the tumour. If the resentment and hatred is very deep, then the tumour of the mother would be malignant, commonly known as cancer.

I also saw an infant spirit sticking to the mother’s body like mud, and the former looks very strange; half-translucent, and the green arteries and veins of the body can be seen. The mother begged me for help, and therefore I tried plucking him off from the mother’s body, but was unsuccessful. I then went to the infant spirit in a dream, found him and advised him, but he was very agitated, and do not want to listen, saying, "I will not let my mother off, do not meddle!"

Cancer and abortion are related. Often, major diseases such as stroke are also abortion-related. There was a woman suffering from stroke who asked me about the root cause of her illness. I saw she had five small infant spirits around her, and they were pulling on her finger. I asked if she had an abortion previously, and she said, "Yes, I had five abortions previously." These little infant spirits would grab their mother's finger, gradually grabbing the bone marrow, and by that time, she would be completely controlled by the infant spirits, with her life on the line. In this life-and-death moment, the woman was fortunate to have causal connection with Buddhism and learn about the Dharma. I advised her, "Be strong! In order to resolve this enmity, you still would have to sincerely abandon evil and cultivate goodness."

At this point in time, we can only advise the mother and not the infant spirit, because the heart and mind of the infant spirit is completely pre-occupied by hatred and resentment, and would not listen to the words of others, nor speak to them. They have only one purpose - to go after the mother for revenge, to torment her life-after-life.

(三)让母亲患重病

婴灵报复母亲的方式很多,不仅仅流产一种。最常见的方式是附在母亲的身上不下来,他们附在哪里,哪里就不舒服、出问题。我曾经看到一个很可怜的女人,颈部长了一个很大很大的肿瘤,婴灵就在那个肿瘤里。如果怨恨很重的话,母亲身上的肿瘤会是恶性的,也就是人们常说的癌癥。

我还看见一个婴灵,像泥巴一样粘在母亲身上,他的样子很奇怪,看上去像是半透明的,身上绿色的血管脉络都能看到。这位母亲求我帮助,我就试图把他从母亲身上扒下来,但是不成功。我于是在梦里去找这个孩子,终于给我找到了。我于是劝他,他很烦躁,完全不听,说:「我不会放过妈妈的,不要你管!」

癌癥和堕胎有关,中风这样重大的疾病也往往与堕胎有关。曾经有一位患中风的妇女找到我,问其中因缘。我就看见她有五个小婴灵缠着,他们都在扯她的手指头。我便问她是否曾经堕胎,她说:「是,有五次。」这些小婴灵先抓母亲的手指,逐渐就会抓到骨髓,到那个时候,她就完全被婴灵控制、命悬一线了。好在这位妇女在生死关头的时候,能够有佛缘,认识正法。我就劝她:「要坚强!要想化解,还是要靠自己真的断恶修善。」

这个时候,我们只能劝母亲而不能劝婴灵,因为婴灵的心念完全被怨恨所占据,不仅不听别人说话、也不跟别人说话。他们只有一个目的——找母亲报仇,生生世世折磨她。
 

trlzz

New Member
(4) Causing the mother to lose her mind

Infant spirits have great powers. They can disrupt the magnetic field of the surroundings, and cause the mother to lose her rationality. According to the research of modern scientists, the suicide rate of women who have experienced abortion is three times to five times that of women who have not had abortions before. This is due to the mother being controlled by the aborted infant spirit and hence losing her rationality. These mothers would also often flare up without cause, resulting from the interference of the magnetic field by the infant spirit. If the mother does not at this time have the good fortune to encounter the correct, moral knowledge, it will be very difficult to extricate themselves from this pain and suffering. Even if the mother have the good fortune to encounter the correct knowledge, oftentimes because of magnetic interference, she will not be able to accept this knowledge, or not be able to act accordingly even if she did hear.

Once, I went to Lujiang, and was staying with a worker in the same room. This worker was a very arrogant and jealous person, and enjoy complaining about others. Her sound of her snoring while she slept was very strange, like the crowing of a rooster, and sometimes of “hu” and “ha” sounds. I felt the circumstances were strange, so I meditated and saw two small infant spirit pinching the mother's nose, telling me not to meddle in a severe manner, saying, "There is no good return on a good deed!"

The next day, I consider the fact that she is a Buddhist, and has come into contact with the educational knowledge of the sages, and took the initiative to ask her, "Have you had an abortion before?" She immediately admitted to it, but in a very dismissive manner. I saw the conversation was unable to continue, and as I could not help her, I let it go. As we could see, the infant spirit understand their mother's state of mind completely, if the mother has not truly repented, and sincerely learn about the Dharma, it cannot be hidden from the infant spirit!

In addition, I also saw something that is extremely small crawling in the front. Initially, it was a black shape far away swaying towards me. I saw an infant spirit. He had come for revenge. His mother went to the hospital, doused him with medication and had an injection to forcibly squeeze him out. He took in a few breaths, and left in this manner. He could not accept it, and I told him later on, "I will give you refuge according to the Dharma, you must put down the hatred and resentment."

Some infant spirits are very happy to meet me. They will hug me on my waist and say that I saved them. I asked how did I saved them? They said that something was pinning them down. The truth was they had been divided limb by limb messily, and thrown into a barrel. When we help them to take refuge, they were able to be liberated subsequently and were able to obtain their bodies. This is really incredible! The power of the Dharma is unlimited! Seeking refuge is great! It is able to resolve their dire situation. Why did they let me know so much? This was to allow me to raise awareness and vigilance, and through the fortuitous encounter and knowledge of this event, allow me to see the suffering of all beings, and imbue me with confidence in practice, hence fulfilling the Dharma. What method do we use to save them? We have to rely on our physical and mental strength. On one hand, we can save them, and on the other, we can advise others. My work has always been carried out in this manner. Now the opportunity has presented itself, to sincerely publish in print, go online, and try very hard to help others. This is a good thing, and would truly be able to educate people.

(四)让母亲失去理智

婴灵们很有能量,他们会干扰磁场,让母亲失去理智。现代科学家研究,认为曾经有堕胎经历的妇女的自杀率是没有堕胎经历的妇女的三倍到五倍,这就是母亲被堕胎婴灵控制而失去理智所致。这些堕胎的母亲还会常发无名火,这也是婴灵干扰磁场所致。如果此时母亲没有缘分遇到善知识,她们会很难从痛苦中解脱出来。即使母亲能够有缘分遇到善知识,她往往也会因为磁场干扰,而不能接受善法,或者听了,也不能力行。

有一次,我去了庐江,与一个工作人员住一个房间。这位工作人员的傲慢执着习气很重,很喜欢投诉他人,是一个喜欢嫉妒、傲慢的人。我听到她睡着的时候,打呼噜的声音很奇怪,有时好像公鸡叫,有时又呼又哈的。我感到有异相,我就打坐,看见两个小婴灵在捏母亲的鼻子,他们很厉害地叫我不要管,说:「好心没好报!」

第二天,我考虑到她是学佛的人,也接触了圣贤教育,就主动问她:「你是不是曾经堕胎啊?」她当下就承认了,但是,却是一副很不以为然的样子。我看话题进行不下去,自己也帮不到她,就放下了。可见,婴灵对他们母亲的心态了解得一清二楚,妈妈有没有真悔过、真学佛,都瞒不过小婴灵们!

不但如此,我还看到这么小小的东西在前面爬,起初远远的黑黑的晃来晃去的向我走过来,我看见是一个婴灵,他是来报怨的。他的母亲去医院给他灌药,打针硬硬地把他挤出来。他喘了几口气,就这样走了。他不甘愿,后来我就跟他讲:「我给你皈依啊,一定要放下怨恨。」

有一些小朋友来了很开心啊!会抱着我的腰说,我救了他们。我说我怎么救的?他说他们被东西压住了。原来被他们分肢了,一块一块的,很乱,被丢在一个桶。我们帮他们皈依、然后他们能够超生,得到他们的身体。真的是不可思议!法力无边!皈依很好!能够化解他们的灾难。他们为什么让我知道这么多呢?让我好好的提高警觉,让我能够有这个因缘遇到、看到众生的苦,更让我有信心的修行,圆成佛道。用什么方法来救他们?是用我们的体力、精神,一方面救他们,一方面来劝人。我的工作一直就是这样做的。现在机会来了,你们发心出书、上网,很用功的去帮助,是好事,是真能教育人的。

Mothers who have abortion: sincerely learning of Buddhism will allow mother and child to benefit

Master says that when a child is reincarnated into a new body, the purpose is either to repay a debt of gratitude or to avenge a grievance, therefore aborted infant spirits can also be roughly divided into two types: the first being children with an original debt of gratitude towards the parents, but after being aborted, the gratitude becomes one of grievance, but there is still gratitude after all, so it is easier for them to let the mother off. The second category is that of the child originally out to avenge a grievance. After aborted, this will result in a deepening of the enmity, and this situation is difficult to resolve. Basically, the infant spirit is sure to follow the mother, and will not let her off.

In the first case, if the causal connection to learn of Buddhism emerges, this will allow the infant spirit to easier accept taking refuge, and also relatively easier to resolve the rancour with the mother, thereby leaving the mother to go for reincarnation. If such children see their mothers learning Buddhism, they will learn together with their mothers, and if they have deep, virtuous roots, they can even learn better than their mothers.

堕胎妈妈:真心学佛、母子受益

师父说,孩子来投胎,不是报恩就是报怨,所以被堕胎的婴灵也大致可以分成两种,一种是原本来报恩的孩子,被堕掉之后,他与父母的恩变成怨,但是毕竟还是有恩情在,比较容易放过母亲;另一种是原本报怨来的孩子,被堕掉之后更是怨上加怨,这样的情况就很难化解了,基本上是一定要跟着母亲,不肯放过母亲的。

对于第一种情况,如果出现学佛的因缘,婴灵比较容易接受皈依,也比较容易和母亲化解冤仇,从而离开母亲去投胎。这样的孩子看到妈妈学佛,会跟妈妈一起学佛,善根深厚的话,甚至可以比妈妈还要学得好。

I once saw a volunteer, while she was offering incense to Buddha, there was a little infant spirit following behind her. Light was emitting out of this little infant spirit’s body, indicating that the infant spirit’s Buddhist learning was at a high level. I informed the volunteer of this information, and she said that the child was previously attached to her younger sister, telling her mother, "I was intending to come here to practice, but you aborted me!"

With regards to the second category whereby the child was originally out to avenge a grievance, the deepening of the enmity resulting from being aborted is very difficult to resolve, to the extent that they would want the mother's life. In such a situation, one has to see if the mother has deep blessings, and whether she has committed very serious sins previously. If the mother's blessings are not deep and she has hitherto committed very serious sins, then her life is at stake. Moreover, at this point in time, this deep vendetta will pre-occupy the infant spirit’s mind and soul, the infant spirit will be unable to listen to someone else's persuasion and explanation. Therefore, it is mandatory for the mother to sincerely change her mindset, cease bad habits, for the knot of resentment to have a chance to be untied.

Modern society does not propagate moral education and ethics, does not believe in karma and retribution, and there is no knowing the number of people who had abortions numbering in the hundreds of millions! In such circumstances, those originally out to avenge a grievance constitutes the majority of reincarnated births. Relying on modern science and technology, we utilize extremely cruel, appalling methods to abort these children that were originally out for revenge, thus causing the hatred and resentment to deepen, affecting the world’s magnetic field negatively.

我曾经见过一位义工,她给佛上香的时候,身后有一个小婴灵跟着。那个小婴灵身上居然有光,说明他学佛非常好。我将这个信息告知那位义工,她说这个孩子曾经附在他妹妹身上,告诉母亲:「我是要来修行的,你却把我堕掉!」

对于第二种本来就是报怨的孩子来说,堕胎这样的怨上加怨就很难化解了,甚至他们会要母亲的命。出现了这种情况,就要看母亲本人的福报是否大,本人是否曾造过非常严重的罪业。如果母亲的福报不大而罪业很重的话,就性命攸关了。而且,由于此时深仇大怨占据了婴灵的心灵,他基本听不进去别人的劝解。所以必须要母亲真正努力改变心念、痛断习气,怨结才有希望化解。

现代社会不讲伦理道德、也不相信因果报应,堕胎的人数不知道有多少亿!在这样的情况下,来投胎的,报仇的居多。我们又依靠现代科技,将这些来报仇的孩子再用惨不忍睹的方式堕掉,这是仇上加仇、怨上加怨,所以能够令整个世界的磁场不好。
 

trlzz

New Member
On 11th December 2011, Master performed the three refuge for all the aborted infant spirits in the entire world, allowing infant spirits of the first category – those out to repay a debt of gratitude, to be able to listen Dharma and hence turn back, thereby helping to reduce grievances. However, for those infant spirits who have come for revenge, as the enmity and hatred is too deep and severe, some find it difficult to accept the Dharma.

In this point in time, the mother's own efforts has become very critical. If the mother can really sincerely abandon evil and cultivate goodness, forsake heresy and return to the path of truth, the infant spirit watching at the side will also be moved, and will shield and sustain their mothers’ learning of Buddhism, rather than hinder and obstruct the latter. In those situations whereby the infant spirit is determined to cling to their mothers and not let go, if the mother who has undergone abortion can really turn over a new leaf, sincerely chant Buddha’s name and be reborn in the Western Paradise, the infant spirit will also follow suit and be reborn in the Western Paradise. In this way, the achievement of the mother’s cultivation will be inconceivable.

Thus, the mother's heart has to be tranquil, and not be affected by the changes of surroundings and circumstances; do not retreat, do not slack off, and have to honestly, seriously put in effort on a daily basis. In one’s daily life, one has to lay down "greed," "anger," "ignorance," "arrogance," "doubt," these are extremely unwanted! Infant spirits have the utmost loathing of their mothers envying or being jealous of others, making comparisons of loss and gain. If the mother has such thoughts in her heart, the infant spirit understands very clearly, and will despise the mother greatly and will want to get even with the mother, by controlling the mother's mind, causing her to flare up without reason, or inducing her to be irrational, to the extent of causing her to think of committing suicide. Hence, it is very important for the mother to have upright thoughts! She has to silently repent within the depths of the soul, purify her mind, and the infant spirit will be able to receive real benefits.

With regards to the infant spirit, whether they can be reborn in the Western Paradise, be liberated from the Bardo state, will be dependent on whether they can give up their mothers. It is their freedom of choice, and cannot be compelled by others. For those cases whereby the infant spirits cannot give up their mothers, if the mother can chant Buddha’s name and be reborn in the Western Pure Land and achieve Buddhahood, the small infant spirit will also follow the mother and achieve Buddhahood.

Therefore, mothers who have undergone abortion, as mothers of such experience, they will have to first learn to let go, not discriminate, so allowing the infant spirit to receive the same message. If the mother can let go, not discriminate, the infant spirit can also gradually let go, and allow the mother to go free.

二零一一年十二月十一日,师父给全世界的堕胎婴灵做三归依,可以令第一种报恩的婴灵因为听闻佛法而回头,从而帮助减少怨气。但是对于那些来报仇却被堕掉的婴灵来说,由于仇恨太深太重,有些很难接受佛法。

这时,母亲自己的努力就变得非常关键了。如果母亲能够真正断恶修善、改邪归正,婴灵在旁边看到会感动,他们会护持母亲学佛,而不是障碍母亲。对于那些就是要缠着母亲不放的情况,如果这位堕胎的母亲能够真正回头,真正念佛往生西方极乐世界,那个婴灵也就会跟着往生西方,这样母亲修行的成就不可思议。

由此可见,母亲的心要定,不要被境界转,不能退心,不能懈怠,要每天老实认真地做功课,日常生活中真的要放下「贪」、「瞋」、「癡」、「慢」、「疑」,这些很要不得!婴灵最讨厌的就是母亲嫉妒他人、比较得失。母亲有这样的心念,婴灵很清楚,他们会很鄙视母亲并且非得要找母亲算账,控制母亲的心念,让她生无名火,或者让她胡涂,甚至让她想要自杀。所以,母亲端正心念很重要!要在心灵深处默默洗涤,净化自己的心念,婴灵就能够收到真正的利益。

对于婴灵来说,他们是否能够往生西方极乐世界,是否能够解脱中阴身的状态,就看他们是否能够放弃妈妈。是否放弃都是婴灵们的自由,是他们自己的选择,别人强求不得。对于那些不能放弃妈妈的情况,妈妈如果能够念佛往生西方净土成佛,小婴灵就跟着母亲成佛了。

因此,曾经有堕胎经历的妈妈,作为堕胎的妈妈,就要先学会不执着、不分别,这个心念婴灵能够收到。母亲能够不执着、不分别,婴灵也能渐渐不执着了,能放过妈妈了。
 

babyaugust

New Member
I came across this forum when surfing the net.

I am 22 and I think I am pregnant. I cannot keep the baby and let anyone know about it for sure. My boyfriend is still studying and don’t want the baby too. I learnt while surfing for abortion information that baby can feel even it is a few months old, true? Of course this information might be a propaganda from those anti-abortionist, baby can’t possibly feel anything when they are a bunch of cells. What I am afraid is the psychological effect of post abortion. Can anyone share their experience? Any ways or method to overcome or lessen the intensity of this effect in the fastest way?


What I remember was after the procedure, mostly the effects are similar to having a period with some period cramps. Sometimes you will get a mild fever within 24 hours of the procedure, but it will pass. Others experience more severe period pains and a heavier menses about one week later. Occasionally the bleeding can flow for two weeks.

I remembered that I went back to my doctor to have it checked again for any problems that might arise. I hope this will be of help to you.

I want to recommend my friend’s doctor to you http://www.womensclinicofsingapore.com
 

babyaugust

New Member
Milo,

Yes, generally positive but

I mainly referred to this:

abortion= murder, enough said.


This is not the ultimate weapon of guilt? Abortion is NEVER murder. Murder is when you deprive another individual of their right to live. A fetus is part of the mother.. abortion is just prevent the the fetus the potential to develop into a human being. Only a human being has a right. A fetus is not a human being and therefore it has no right. The rights of the fetus lie with the mother carrying it until it is at least 24 weeks and the law take away that right to stop the fetus from developing from the mother.

If abortion=murder. Many teenage girls should be in Jail or even put to death for murder. The fact is, they are not put in jail nor convicted for murder. So it is not Murder and don't scare people psychologically by telling them it is murder.


I think abortion is a freedom of choice to be given to any women
You should see that other countries are already legalizing it!
http://www.womensclinicofsingapore.com/question.html
 

nichie

Member
Its has been a long time since I came to this forum.

When I am younger, I am very rebellion as I was born out of wedlock, an illegitimate child, I hated my mother as I was looked down by my classmates and relatives. I mixed around with the wrong people and got pregnant. When I knew I am pregnant, I never have second thought about aborting my unborn child as I don’t want him/her to be in the same situation as me. So I aborted and continue my decadence lifestyle. I never once regretted my decision and I encourage others to do the same then.

It took me quite a while to reconcile with my mother and accepted who I am. I am a mother of 2 now and whenever I think back of the things I have done when I am young I am full of remorse. Not only I broke my mother’s heart then but I also done the stupidest thing of aborting my child. Whenever I look at my 2 children playing happily together, I always think about my unborn child, sometime I dreamt about her and woke up with cold sweat because I have lost her in the dream. I will always cry. This only stop after I have my 2nd child. As a mother of 2, I am willing to do anything to protect my children from harm and make sure that they are well taken care of, beyond my wildest thought that I will do anything to harm them but for that child….i cannot undone what is done but to pray for him/her to have peace and I am sorry….sometimes I wonder whether he/she has returned to be one of my child now…I hope so..

I am very close to my mom now. She is a great help to me. She is retired but live an active life now. She has gone through hardship to brought me up and I have hurt her deeply many times when I am young. I am a mother now and I understand what she is going through then. One night, after I have just gave birth to my first child, looking at her preparing dinner for me despite her busy and tiring work, I poured out my heart to her and told her how sorry am I for taking her for granted and all the things I have done that hurt her all these years…she just sat there nodding her head and holding my hands tightly with tears in both of our eyes.

I have also met up with TS, Joey (Sharepoint), quite sometimes ago. She is just like the image you have when reading her story, kind and pretty lady. Ya, she lost her baby and that has affected her quite a lot but she is now happily married but no children. Oh ya, her relationship with her father is v good now, everything is history and I guess there is no overnight hatred with your kids. Yes, she has a wonderful mother just like mine and I hope I can do the same for my kids.

Aiyo, I see an old friend is still very active here, Miloice, how are you and life? (How is your mother?) Where are others like the arrogant powder, simpleman, Hope, Sgbabydoll, scope_guy…hahaha…those are the days:)
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
word of advise for anyone having grudges or issues with your folks.... appreciate them while they are here. Don't take life for granted. Death and birth are wonderful teachers of life.... when we experienced it... we cannot bring back what we lost... be it our unborn child, a decease sibling, spouse or parent. Appreciate and cherish those we have with us.
 

bananahannah

New Member
I remember before my best friend was in a similar situation, and I went with her to the clinic for the procedure (we were referred to Dr Jen by another close friend). The surgery was quick and her physical recovery went quick as well. I think less than 2 weeks she was more or less back to her normal routines. Emotionally though, she took time to recover. It helps to have a non judgmental friend during those times, especially since it wasn't something that you can readily share with anyone, especially family. It helps to talk and just always be there for your friend.
 

aprilsummer95

New Member
Having an abortion is a major decision, and like many procedures will have physical, emotional and mental effects to the woman. That's why you should have a close friend or a trusted doctor with you to offer a strong support system during this period. It also pays to be well-informed about abortions so you'll know what to expect and how to better care for yourself. In terms of physical healing, there are things you can do to facilitate a quicker recovery: https://www.singaporeabortion.sg/2020/11/16/after-abortion-care-and-recovery/
 

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