Hi Vios,
I understand what you are trying to put it through, you are not taking sides on Grudges neither her bf bro's gf, you are purely standing at a 3rd party's point of view. And seriously, I am a wife and I do have a bro-In-law who always lazing around at home moreover my Parents-In-law staying under one roof and dun talk to each other....complicated issues, I too dun like the way the bro acts at times but seriously, if I were to be so pissed like Grudges I am only giving my hubby a tough time. And I do see your remarks on grudges merely b'coz of the ways she expressed her thoughts in here and I have to agree, it is somehow abit out of hands. And I think that is part of the reason why you make such a statement.
I am not taking sides on both too, but to me, being a daughter-In-law and wife, I feel I should treat them as part of the family, loving your husband family is as good as loving him. Whenever I am unhappy with my In-laws family (close aunties and uncles) I can't allow myself to show it on my face, coz I understand whatever I do and behave, I am indirectly reflecting my parent's reputation. I wouldn't want my In-laws family saying that I am some kind of uneducated or sleazy girl being brought up in my family line. Furthermore I am gonna put my hubby in a very difficult position being sandwiched in between. Hence, most of the times, when I really can't tolerate any further, both my hubby and myself will sit down and talk about it, u know, just like how u sit down talking to your frds with no grudges or hatred.
I personally agree with you, Vios, that women are more petty as compared with men, I am not a Saint either, but maybe my tolerance level is pretty high.
I believe this forum is to allow the public sharing their thoughts, and there are bound to have positive and neg remarks. Do not take it so personally coz it is definately not a 100% supported forum if that's what the person is needed here.
I see Grudges is rather pissed off from the way she wrote and way too much to a very personal view towards the bf bro's gf. I personally think Gudges, you should do some self-relections on how you treat her in the first place, your gestures of banging the doors or throwing stuff at home in front of her isn't a pleasant thing to do so too. And please, I am not taking her sides either. Your behaviour have somehow affected your bf's family either and you are putting him in a difficult position, and that goes to your in-laws too considering they have a high level of tolerance. Why not you try going through with a softer approach in this case?