How to get over the pain...

[hurtsomuch]

my life is in such a mess... and i am suffering in so much pain that I don't know how to survive the next minute...

the man i once loved so much just told me he had someone new. he claims he still love me but because I gave him up previously and out of loneliness, he got into another relationship...

i was once a 3rd party in his life and hence I wasn't able to forgive myself to be with him... but now yet I feel so terrible when he has someone new. i can't do this anymore. i have done enough damage already.

I know 3rd parties will be thrown stones at here but there are always two sides to every story and I think only those who went through the same thing as me will understand how i feel...

how to keep myself sane right now? the pain from the heartbreak is so intense i felt like i am dying... help...

 

[infojunkie]

here's one of my favorite quotes... it's buddhist and haruki murakami likes it

Pain in life is inevitable but suffering is not. Pain is what the world does to you, suffering is what you do to yourself.

Pain is Inevitable, Suffering is Optional.

 

[hurtsomuch]

Dear Junkie,

The quote is so true. Like how I always tell myself, blame no one but myself because I brought all these suffering upon myself...

no matter how people around me asked me to stay away from him, I just couldn't. I should have known this is the fate of our relationship..

 

[infojunkie]

stop blaming and ur suffering will end.

 

[yesno333]

Let's face it....this feeling u are having now will fade over time....try coming back 1 year from now and tell us how painful u r..etc etc....><"

 

[paulinepeace]

His love to you had already faded off and u have to accept it. Face it bravely, girl. All the best to you!

 

[miloice]

yesno is completely right here... emotions are like waves, there are ups and downs. Its a down period for you, bear with it. Just becareful not to dig a hole for yourself to remain down forever. Some people does that and blame those that caused the hurt. The hurt is inflicted by him/her once, the decision to continue letting it hurt longer than it should is yours. You can move on if you let it.

 

[scopefun]

Are you guys seriously morons? LOL~

Hey Hurtsomuch, you have so much time to hurt yourself, why don't you do something getting him back?

Or is your love about giving up and grumbling it's whose fault?

If you listen to these morons... time will not change anything, cos you are a loser. If you love that guy, you have forever no right to give up.

If you prefer to groan and listen to morons... will that man come back to ease your pain? No.

Will you have any hope? No.

If you listen to these morons... what will you become? A loser.

What should you do? If you love him, and he is still in contact... don't waste time feeling hurt, understand him, and make the moves. Otherwise, wish him all the best... and move on.

Before you get a hold on yourself, time will only make you a miserable loser in relationship.

 

[clearskies]

He's not worth it. Move on with your life.

 

[scopefun]

Who worth it? LOL~

 

[hurtsomuch]

I was staring at the sentence "His love to you had already faded off and u have to accept it" for the longest time and shaking inside... i guess this is something which I couldn't accept... couldn't accept the reality. because i always thought love could be forever...

someone who cheats on his 1st wife with his 2nd wife... and 2nd wife with me. scope, you think I should make him cheat on his current gf with me? what does it makes me? always a 3rd party in his life. ALWAYS.

i am like a cold turkney suffering from withdrawal syndrome. His love is like a drug to me... no matter how much i tell myself to stop thinking about him, that we are impossible, its all over, I will end up crying once i woke up, at work, while driving... and before sleep. I didn't know love could be this tiring...

my heart... is so cold... so cold.

 

[yesno333]

Like i say come back after one year and tell us do u feels the same way.....most likely u haven't been thru a lot of rs or u r extremely young....><"

 

[hurtsomuch]

i wish i havent been thru much rs or i am young so i know i wont be affected with problems like these.

the older i get, the younger i wish i was. and I wish i had made better decisions in the past.

 

[deniseleezhenhui]

Really... suck up and get over it. Life's too short to be moping n mulling.. u think he'll think so much about your feelings when he is making love to the other girl (let's be real guys).

 

[powder]

i wish i would strike toto...


yup, still wishing...


still wishing...


ok, i better work for money instead.

 

[miloice]

don't take too long to accept that reality... else the next reality sits in... you only live once and u have waste a huge part trying to accept that.

 

[hurtsomuch]

i am actually SLGHTLY better as compared to yesterday...

Facing it is really quite a good method to get over things. i visited places we used to go together... playing our favorite songs and bawling my heart out while reading the messages we exchanged (and thinking about how he is screwing his new girl without even bothering about how i feel -_-) until it felt less painful.

sucks to be me sometimes.

 

[scopefun]

Zzz~

If you have given up then move on. If you still don't understand, then fight on.

The point is, if you don't even understand yourself, you are not going anywhere. Even as a mistress, you need to know why you are a mistress.

 

[paulinepeace]

Come to think of his attitude towards relationship. 劈腿from one to another. Can he be trusted anymore? U knw the answer better than us.

 

[arsenal_84]

The point is, if you don't even understand yourself, you are not going anywhere. Even as a mistress, you need to know why you are a mistress.

cannot help it but to agree with this line.
as a fling or fark buddy, TS really needs to know her place.
besides, stop trying to kid yourself when such rs are just purely for lust purposes.
yes, you might argue that you guys did some dating but is just a superficial act to win you over emotionally in an attempt to bed you.
don't tell you never ever meet a guy with no motives ?

 

[powder]

breakups are harder for 3rd parties... way harder actually...

u have less pple to share with, less pple to console u, less pple who would know your 'relationship' by virtue of it being a dark secret.

it's one of those things... all i can say is, u have no choice but to move on.

Pain? we all get it from time to time... this time it's u. and u will get over it.

 

[hurtsomuch]

all along i knew i shouldn't waste my time on someone who have cheating history... but as naive as i can be, i thought i could change him. apparently no.

maybe the only "consolation" is that he is willing to cheat on different partners on me. hahaha... my god.

he said no one had ever loved him so much. so i guess all the while he couldnt let go because he is so used to my love... and not because he truly loves me.

大多数人都相åŒ, 喜欢的åªæ˜¯çˆ±æƒ…的脸孔

i was never proud being a 3rd party... infact i hate myself so much that i don't know how to accept anyone else who might just be the right one for me. all the pain i have caused to those involved... and on myself...

i hope one day when i wake up, i am able to start afresh again.

 

[scopefun]

You hope you wake up...

That means you have not waken up. LOL~

Actually there is nothing wrong being a third party as long as you really love him.

I have been betrayed once, and I hope that man will love that traitor. But he wasn't.

The whole point is not about wife or third party or whatever... it's really do you love him and does he love you. Or it's just sex he wants, and you allow yourself to be a toy. That's all.

You think too much.