hi bro,
think the diff is on the context that we speak about. Maybe I'm out of point liao.
For me, its more true for spouse because we choose someone compatible. But with parents and in-law, its differs. I appreciate the folks no matter how unimportant it is for me. Because I understand folks just have a different way of showing their love and I cannot choose them.
Even for spouse, even we love breast meat and hate drum stick, I would like to try the wings, fish, or even vegetarian sometimes. We don't always get loved the way we want. But we still appreciate their effort as long as they are not overly bearing forcing them down.
Main point is moderation. No matter how compatible, it is never 100%. We still need to appreciate each other's love even when its not the way we want them always. That, for me, is part of learning to really understand and love our partners better.