How to coax / pamper your bf?

[cherrygirl]

hmm.. im abit confuse here.. the topic here is "how do you coax/ pamper your bf after an arguement or when bf gets pissed... "
but now become "acts of love" and "cooking at home".. =P

 

[powder]

wat's confusing? some pple answer it like a maths question... some answer it like a literature question.

watever works...

i'm more into literature. the right perspective will warrant the right actions...

if u do maths, the right answers may not necessarily represent the right perspective.

 

[cherrygirl]

ya .. *nob*
the right brain and the left brain perspective ya.. heeee

 

[smileyclara]

Simple. It's all depend on individual lifestyle and preference.

For me and my hubby, we enjoy eating home-cooked meal, so i will try to get back home earlier three/two times a week to prepare the dinner. so that by the time he reached home, we can slowly enjoy the dinner together.

But for some guys who need to work late or have irregular working hour due to their job nature, as his girlfriend; [the one who wish to pamper/coax him], she should give him what she want. Freedom. The time to concentrate and complete his work. Not the responsibility/ pressure of needed to come back to finish the meal.

Just my two cents...

 

[cherrygirl]

i agree to sunny =)

different men different thinking.. my htb says he enjoy home cook meal especially cooked by me and my parents...so my way of pamper him is to give him good and healthy food.. heee

 

[miloice]

in the 1st place, after an argument, instead of working on the issue, we tend to sweep it under the carpet by changing the subject and pampering to brighten the mood.

I think we need both. 1st to lighten the spirit but also to work on the issue when both the atmosphere is more suitable for communication to take place.

 

[smileyclara]

yes, milo. Sometimes when both parties are not having a clear mind after an argument, it is better to shift your attention to other things (take your mind away for a while) before coming back again to work on the issue. At least both parties no longer feel irritated or defensive...

 

[goldfishtee]

snoopies,

as what other ppl have said, diff guy has diff style. the other day, i made my bf upset cos i quarelled with his mum and due to that, i gave him cold shoulder too. later on i realised that it's not his fault and i should have been more patience towards his mum. so i meet up with his mum and had a good talk with her. then i called my bf and said sorry. so when his birthday comes, everything back to normal, we had dinner together with his family and every one was happy.
bottom line is, if you want to say sorry, be sincere, you could also explain why you made him upset earlier. good luck!

 

[snoopies]

Thanks all for sharing your interesting pointers.

This hitted me when I was with my ex bf. After every arguement, he would expect me to coax him regardless whose fault at it. I would apologise everytime but he just ignored and refused to talk to me... and at times, he even pushed me away. As I thought he probably needed time to cool off so I left him alone doing my own things, thinking after awhile would be a better time to talk to him. But it wasn't as what I had thought, the moment I started doing anything he would get even more pissed and blamed me for ignoring him. So did he expect me to sit beside him doing nothing, watching him until he cooled off?

I wonder if he's being petty and unreasonable. Or is it just me who is not being attentive enough.

Thats not all, he came to my place very often... n everytime when he was around, i simply can't do my things, be it work or personal stuff. If i sat in front of my pc for more than 15mins, he will start his tantrum and wanted my attention.
When he was watching tv, he would expect me to sit beside him even tho i told him i'm tired and need to sleep. And as he slept very late everynite, around 3-4am... he would complain that I slept too early... I turned in latest by 1am and wakes up by 6:15am.

I just wanna find out, if anyone's bf is like my ex, and how do you all deals with him.

 

[green_tranquility]

Snoopies,
Your exbf is an attention seeker. He seems to need a nanny more than a gf leh!

 

[miloice]

Snoopies...
my sincere and personal (and crude though) opinion.

your ex bf is damn ku niang. Bloody hell behave like a woman. I mean... he is petty and damn childish. As a guy, he isn't gentleman nor generous enough to give in and initiate to work things out. Thank goodness he is your EX!
GOOD FOR YOU!

On your question, how to deal with such sissy boys. Don't go head on. Move aside and protect yourself. Let him grow up himself. Its for his own benefit. Not yours. So, if he don't grow up, dump him.

For those that die die want to stick with him one, then too bad. She has to take lead to guide the little boy. Its damn tough and never fair one. Sure suffer alot. But, if they want to do it, then have a good plan to guide him with lots and lots of patience. Always watch the big fat ego, one wrong step, he will bite you big time for it.

However, NEVER EVER spoil the man. This is the most common mistake. Give in and eat humble pie doesn't mean spoil the partner. Just as how some parents or teachers guide and motivate the kids. No need to clash with them. Its no one simple solution to it.

It will need a lot of tact and psychology to influence a childish partner to grow up. I would stick to the simplier way, just dump him for his own good. Let him reflect and learn by himself.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Why are you wondering about your EX-BF now?

 

[cherrygirl]

milo.. i like the word "ku niang" .. lolx

 

[miloice]

learnt if from NS. Its army language.

The platoon Sergent will always say we run like ku niang and they his 'super fit' grandmother can run faster than us.

 

[vios]

Snoopie, it is utmost importance that your current bf is not similar to your ex, right?

KNN.. your ex-bf is super duper cry-baby. Buay tahan, man.
In accordance to milo's post on army daze, I bet $10 that he was the type who always sabo his army platoon with his gu-hiang attitude.

So, if anyone's bf in Sgbrides.com like that gu-niang, tell him that if he wants a Barney on his birthday....

 

[miloice]

yah loh... Snoopy, your bf really behave like a woman. When gal do that, the guy will go hug and sayang her and then she throw tantrums abit and cool down. BUT this one is mirror image. A MAN doing that. Really cannot make it man!

 

[vios]

bro milo, it's her EX-BF... and the ticklings did not help matters either.

 

[miloice]

yah... typed too fast. thx for e highlight.

 

[snoopies]

Ha.. I do agreed he's behaving like a woman... and thank God he's already my ex. My current bf definitely unlike him... he gave me ample space and time.
I do agreed that I had spoilt him at the begining of the r/s but later got sick of it. When finally broke up with him... most of my friends were like saying 'you mean now then you decide to leave him?' Oh well, I guess not many friends like him and think well of our r/s... haha

 

[strawberryshortcake]

hey i used to do that to my ex and he told me, "ehh then dun come my hse lah. i cannot do my own things when u r ard." but at tt time, all i tot was tt since i was nice enough to go over his hse, he shld make time for me and not ignore me. also i felt tt he did not try to explain to me or make me understand. yes i admit, i was behaving like a baby. i think he and i was the worst combination....

 

[linababy]

haha i usually prepare for him a simple surprise either drop by his office for lunch unannounced or just prepare a short "missing you" card for him. I also usually prepare for him something to drink after a quarrel like fruity lite tea and just hold his hand and say i sorry if i get carried away just now let talk about it tmr when we both are feeling better and i just want to let you know at the end of the day . I love you .

 

[zyza]

Consider how he became your boyfriend in the first place and try to keep treating him that way.
Cooking for him is good; if you aren't a good cook it's worth learning for both your sakes. The internet is a great source of information on cooking. Take the time to discover what he really likes to eat.
Spending money on him isn't good because you might not be buying what he really wants and you could end up feeling resentful if he's ungrateful.

 

[jefferson_edison]

1) Knee down
2)unzip his pant
3) open mouth


4) Zip back , stand up, turn around and walk off.