How much to prepare for GATE crashing ang pow

yoji

Member
Hi,
Just wondering if anyone could advise what is the ranges I should be preparing for gate crashing ang pow for sisters?
 


aaa

New Member
I think got to depend on your budget and number of jie mei/s.

reasonable gate crashing AP should be ard $68per jiemei. can give more 88, 108 ,128 per pax if you have fewer jiemeis and give less like 48 per pax if you have more jiemei.
 

diamond42

New Member
HI gal,

The standard rate is $32 per jiemei because u need to at least cover the taxi cost your jiemeis spent in reaching your place on your AD.

But if you can afford to give more, you can give more. Usually jiemeis are your close friends so they are very understanding if you are on tight budget and they are very understanding not to demand a lot from you. Just make sure your jiemei know this clearly and there is no misunderstanding as i have come across jiemeis who are waiting to get BIG BIG hongbao during gate crashing. And end up unhappy with the bride.

$ matter is sensitive on AD.

For gate crashing, you can either prepared 1 BIG hongbao that can divided equally among 4 or 6 jiemeis = $32 each (standard rate) or more.

OR you can prepared 3 hongbao for them to use in gate crashing. The amount in the 3 hongbaos should be $68, $88, $108 respectively.
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What i did was that in addition to the gate crashing hongbao, i still give out gifts to my jiemeis. So it is really up to your own budget.
 

cookiencream

New Member
Hi gal,

My hubby & I gave $288 to share wif 4 jiemei. It was my intention to be a one-off ang bao during gate clash. Actually it wasnt supposed to have a gate clash in the 1st place as PIL didnt like the idea. But I made last mins changes on the AD morning itself juz to accomodate to the gals requests. Like diamond mentioned, $ was such a sensitive issue. One of my jiemei recently 'accused' me with an unhappy tone that I din give ang bao to her on AD, not knowing that it was an one-off ang bao for them during gate clash and it supposed to represent our appreciation from both bride & groom rather than from groom himself. According to her, it's STANDARD that the bride side shld give additional ang baos. I was commenting that the amount she receive ($70+) was quite significant (exclude in-kind) considering that she did not require to take cab or any special request involved such as colour of dress or arrive early at dawn. In fact, she did not involve in any preparation work except turn up on AD. She rebuked that the given amt $288 was the 'market price'!!! Hurh, so she is meaning she got a 'market price' for being a jie-mei? I neber expect such a cold & insensitive comments from such a close frenz. Really make my heart sank upon hearing the statement. I always read alot from forum that frenz shouldnt really mind the $$ thingy and watever amt in ang bao received shld be treated as "yi shi yi shi' only. But it seems there are always some 'close' frenz who can so real calculative on yr big day.
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yoji

Member
Hi all,
Thanks for your information. I do not have so many jiemei like you all. It is like 2 jiemei and one sister. Can sister be given the same amount of ang pow as jeimei?

Yeah. $$ is really a very sensitve thing during wedding.
 

diamond42

New Member
HI CookieNcream,

I was in a much worse position than you. We prepared 3 red packets for the gate crashing and they supposed to collect 1 only then returned the remaining to us. In the end, misunderstanding happened between the jiemeis and all the 3 red packets were taken. I asked one of them without knowing that they have distributed everything the very next day becos based on initial arrangement, i supposed to have 2 red packets returned to me. Then one of them end up making this comment to me "unable to afford, then don't give lor."
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Before my AD, i prepared gifts for each of them and also bought dinner for each of them. So i never expected one of them to make this kind of insensitive comment to me when initially all agreed to rules of the gate crashing. In fact, the return of 2 red packets was suggested by one of the jiemei.

Sometimes, money issue can really make you realized who is really your close friends.
 

jen_bibi

New Member
Hi Gals

true, $$$ can be really sensitive but looks on e bright side. now u know who r 'real' friends are.

my friends ve 'asked' me how much my hubby will be 'giving' so dat they will 'jia jia' tease him 1st then will later 'settle' for dat amt.

we will be organising a 'thank-you' dinner for them, either before or after e wedding.
this will also include a 'small' ang bao.

so i think is more than enough cos wedding u are suppose to 'join' in e celebration n getting $$$ are just 'extra bonuses'
 

samgirl

New Member
wah lau...so far, i've help many of my relatives for the gate-crashing event and so far, the biggest angpow i've recived was only 50dollars to be shared amongst about 6 of us (the least being $9.99 each)...but all of us weren't in the least unhappy cos it's for the fun of it...not for the money wad...didn't know that the "market rate" is so much rite now...

haiz...
 

jen_bibi

New Member
Hi samgirl

$50 for 6 ppl??? wa dun let my hubby see this cos he will loved to give dat. LOL!!!

initially i tot $18 each for 6 ppl is very 'cheap' liao but those should beat everyone hands down. :p

think, if only joining for the fun then i dun think they will care how much. another word, choose yr jie meis carefully. dun choose those that doing to 'earn' a quick bucks!! u will only upset yrself with their tonnes of complains.
 

niuniu

New Member
wow samgirl! Only $50 for 6 psn? Then it's a bit stingy leh. I don't know abt the mkt price or std price but my hubby gave $188 for gate-crashing (5 jiemeis incl my sis). On top of it, I gave them $28 each. My mum & MIL each gave them $18 each. So all-in-all they received $101.60. As for xiongdis, we gave $38 each (5 xiongdis) & my mum & MIL each gave $18 each. But all the $$$ all come from my pocket still. So all in all, only for jiemeis & xiongdis, we spent $878. Then got drivers ang bao, $38/driver & car petrol $50/car. Wedding car driver we give $68. Incl all other misc ang baos, we gave out > $2k. My sis is the main co-ordinator for both my tea ceremony & banquet. She didn't want another ang bao so I gave her a new gown, tailor-made & prof make-up for both events. Nobody complain during our wedding abt how small our angbao is. Now with all the above replies, I think we have been too generous. That's why no complain. Haha!!
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marilyntay

New Member
I have a friend that have 8 sisters and 8 brothers. before the wedding, she already informed us that the husband is on very tight budget. So as a friend, I just told the rest of the sisters that we will just have fun and don't take any $$$. So in the end, we didn't take anything and the groom didn't offer to give anything too. Any standard??? I don't think so. I don't think that true friends really mind.
 

cookiencream

New Member
hi gal,

I treat my (real) sister as one of jiemeis. If u think yr sis has put in more efforts than the rest, then she shld deserve at least same amount of ang pow as jeimei or even more! Until now, I havent been speaking to my frenz. I was really hurt that my close frenz whom I have been confiding to for past 12 years, become so picky and calculative.

I came to analyse my jiemei point of view, their idea was to get as much ang bao in the morning so that they could recover dinner cost, in such a way tat they wont need to give extra $$. So one of them was unhappy when need to cum up extra $ to chip in the $100 ang bao. Well, seems only my jiemei have the mentality. On the other hand, I glad that some frenz like receptionists, MCs and 'brothers' display their true spirit of friendship. Some of them refuse to take our appreciation ang baos, and some even returned our ang baos into our ang bao box! I guess, through wedding, i really get to see my frenz's true personalities.

Diamond, i can share yr anger. Think yr frenz were really mean! At least yrs was the amt already agreed upon in the 1st place and mine was not. How can they "cross the river and break the bridge" rite? *shake my head* They were too much!

Samgal! I would be v happy if my jiemei think like U & yr frenz! Wow! $50 for 6 jiemei! Hoho!
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I hv heard frm a colleague who said she receive $0.00 when she was a jiemei for her good frenz. When this colleague told me, she didnt take the chance to complain of her frenz not giving angbao, instead she said she helped out at no cost for the sake of seeing her gd frenz married and enjoyed the fun.

I think all jiemei-to-be should really switch to zero-cent mentality. Those with hidden agenda out to make a profit, pls quit yr thinking, else u'll be causing terrible agony to yr frenz as a bride! Whatever amt should be treated as bonus. Please put yrself to the bride's shoes and think if you the bride, wld u want yr jiemei to treat u like a $ tree?
 

cookiencream

New Member
Ydaz I attended a hotel wedding & was seated with two jie-mei ((I dun know them) for the bride. She was grumbling to the others at my table on the miserable amt she received during gateclash- $88 for 6 jiemeis. Well, i was like pissed off & felt sad for my frenz (the bride) how her jiemei can be so insensitive to 'complain' behind her back during her dinner. sigh...
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email4adel

New Member
personally i feel that the more the jiemeis, the couple should prepare more angpao. jiemeis no matter wat took cab to bride's place, spend money to buy clothes, wake up early...... - these are efforts done to please the couple. COuple should know "return" by not sharing $50 among 6pp.... at least one person get $68 and more... so think carefully how many jiemeis there are. Its the thought that counts of cos. If the couple really no money type, then its ok la but if not poor ones, should really consider giving slightly more... the jiemeis MUST be very close to you then become your jiemeis. DOn treat them like QI GAI......

my 2 cents worth...
 

revlis

Member
i feel that if is real good frens, they wont mind about the money in the red packet, i think real good frens will feel paiseh to take money from the bride, maybe just ask them to give a red empty packet for show purposes lor.. for me i will do that..if my close frens ask me to be their jiemei
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but of cos if my close frens are my jiemei i wont give them empty red packet hee
 

kalbarri

New Member
hearing of all the grievances here, i speaking of a true account of my sis, being the jie mei for our cuosin as she the only one can make it for her wedding date, we very close cousins some more, and yet for the gate crushing, the groom give her the only one a $2 ANG POH. this is really over the limit i guess, as they are not on tight budget at all. i mean the amount is also a form of "respect"...it is too much for $2. i think if it is $8 we will not even complain so can understand our limits. when she go to the groom's side, her mum at least give $10 ang poh. sign ...sign.... cousin herself never give ay ang poh at all to my sis of coz.
 

juanjuan

New Member
hi all..im preparing for my wedding..and is counting on the costs for ang baos....so wat ang baos must we prepare?

door crashing?
give jie mei?
give xiong di?
give driver?
photographer?
videographer?
beautician?

and den photographer and videographer and beautician gets to eat at de dinner mah?
 

key_word07

New Member
I think as a bride..i do not want my jiemei to be given too small angpow lor..i agree..they have spent on their clothings...take cab..wake up early and all the effort put in..so a reasonable amount should be given to them.But of cos..let them know before hand if you really on budget constraint and try to compensate a dinner treat after the banquet lor. Dun take them for granted by surprising them for a small ang pow lar...at least let them know..if those who mind will definately opts out to be your jie mei.I have been jiemei for many friends and actually i dun mind any ang pow amount lor but still i think at least $38-$48 per jie mei should be given to them for gate crashing..then top of that..parents and in laws will also give AP...so at least make up to abt more or less$50/jie mei.

door crashing? - $38-$48/JM (depend on your budget)
give jie mei? $8-$12/JM (depend on your budget)
give xiong di? $38-$88 (Depend budget and if they are driving..if driving should give more ang pow to recover their petrol)
give driver? $12
photographer? $12
videographer? $12
beautician? $12

For dinner..
Actually No need to prepare seat for your PG * VG cos they will have no time to eat..but as courtesy..you may ask them lor.Makeup artist usually will left after making up for you before dinner..so no need lor..
 

bladers

New Member
I am onle having one jiemei...should i give her the red packet for helping out after the day's work or morning time?
 

haywiregirl

New Member
I have 4 bridemaids, 3 are my real sisters. We've prepare SGD112, AUD50, Baht40, RM30

Up to them to divide.I paid half for their bridemaids dresses and paid full for their evening make ups.
 

pinpong

New Member
Think it depends on how many jie mei r there?
If there r more jiemeis den d amt of angpao shuld be higher, as td jiemeis will hav to share among themselves.
 

gilbert

New Member
i think the angpao amt is up to individual, so long it wont blow a hole in ur pocket n u r v comfortable w/ d amt, ok liao.

i think if ur jiemei n xiongdi r really ur good friends n care for u two, they wont mind how much the AP is. if they mind, they r narrow minded, coz they dun understand how much a couple can spend on their wedding banquet n etc...
 

pink_rose

New Member
Hi all,
kinda blur in this giving ang pao area. Hope u all dun mind. Do u mean I give ang paos to the jiemeis in the morning when they come, and then my hubby give again to them or jus to the one opening the gate?
 

pinpong

New Member
Hi Lavendar

d hong bao which ur HB give to ur jiemeis for d gate-crashing is d "Open door" ang bao.

d hong bao u r giving to ur jiemeis is just a token to them for helping out & being ur jiemeis.

For HB & me case, HB give jiemeis ang bao as d "open door" ang bao.
Later of d day, when we returned from d groom's plc back to my parent's plc, den i gave my jiemeis angbaos. We gave angbaos to all relatives, kids who r present in my parents' plc too as a significiant dat we r now a married couple. (dat is when we returned to my parents' plc after d tea ceremony @ d groom's side)
 

deillusioned

New Member
hi all,

not sure if this thread is still active, pls help??
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Am confused how the gate crashing on AD happens, can kindly advise pls? Coz not too sure abt the chinese tradition...

Is the below sequence correct?
e.g.
6a.m - Makeup @ bride's parents home
7a.m - Jie-meis arrive @ bride's parents home (parents give ang pao?)
Xiong-dis arrive @ groom's parents home (parents give ang pao?)
8a.m - Groom and Xiong dis drive down to bride's parents's home
8.30a.m - bride's brother to be waiting downstairs flat to 'kick' door of bridal car (get ang pao from groom)
8.40a.m - Gate crashing happens
9.30a.m - Groom and xiong dis enter house, bring bride to groom's parents's home
10.30a.m - Tea ceremony @ groom parent's home (groom side relatives around???) (do the xiong dis and jie meis follow???)
11.15am - Couple and entourage return to own flat for bride to change into Kua???
11.30a.m - Return to bride's parents home for tea ceremony (all to follow???)
12.30p.m - end

Did i miss out anything? Pls advise....

thank u everyone
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