Hokkien Brides

[smokeyeyes]

I need help from Hokkien Brides.

What does our Husband's family need to give us or our parents for Guo Da Li & the actual Day?

I know Cantonese is Long-Feng Bangles
& Teochew is Si DIan Jin..
How about the Hokkien Brides?
Other than jewellery, what other traditional things like sugar-cane, basin???

Please advise.

 

[lost_in_space]

Hi there,
If I'm not wrong, hokkien brides ask for bangles~~

 

[vysweetapple]

Hi Vonn,

My MIL prepare the following items:
18 oranges
Wedding cakes
Long Fong candle
4 different types of sweets
Ping Li
2 Hard liquor
Si dian Jin (mum wanted)

Brides hv more things, but we just go to those HDB household shops, they hv everything in a package, which is cheaper than wedding shops. On top of that 2 btls of oranges.

 

[smokeyeyes]

Wow.. cool

Thanks June & Lost for the useful information.

Lost you mentioned bangles, what kind? Must it be in multoples of 2?

June your mum wanted Si Dian Jin, does it mean we can request if we want? I rather have Si Dian Jin than bangles..

These are for GUO DA LI right?

 

[lost_in_space]

hmm.. the bangles i'm not so sure abt the number.. but for the si dian jin, it's meant for teochew custom..

If the groom is teochew, the groom's parent will have to give SDJ to the bride..

If the bride is teochew, the bride's parent will ask SDJ from the groom's parents as one of the GDL gifts..

 

[vysweetapple]

Hi Lost,

I guess its much details you want to follow along with the customary. Mum & I feel that at least I will wear the SDJ and 100% not the bangles. Regarding the details about jewellary, go into one of those tradditional gold shop & tell them you are looking for gold due to wedding purpose, they will share with you a lot more information. & most likely they will be more accurate.

Yes, all these are for GDL. Mine is just over last Sat...

 

[smokeyeyes]

wow.. okies.. really appreciate all your input.. have a better picture now though alittle fuzzy.. =)

Ok.. so these are the items for GDL.. how about those things we need to prepare for AD?

 

[marianne_cooljoy]

HI all
i am new to this forum
my bf mum is asking me what items / budget for the Si Dian Jin i want?
i said "its her wish, however she asked me to state my budget
i needed advsie:
-is SDJ to be gold pc? but gold is so high now
-how many pcs of jewellery? i am hokkien bf is teochew. but bf mum is widow and already retired.
i am hoping to get advise is there such thing as what is the mkt rate?
then i will say slightly lower to her dont feel nice la since she already retired and alone

thanks !

 

[pinktiger]

Hi all,

I'm a Hokkien too... hope to get si dian jin rather than bangle too...

But no idea wat my FIL will give me

 

[gloomybear]

i'm hokkien, my husband is teochew, i end up getting a rolex watch. hahah

 

[cheekybee]

I'm hokkien too...I just posted some pictures of my own GDL last year...

http://myfortunekitty.com/?p=71

 

[smokeyeyes]

I was just wondering... the PING JIN (angbao from hubby to my mother) should be given during GDL or during Tea Ceremony???

 

[diannahuimin]

It shld be given during GDL.

 

[smokeyeyes]

wow.. thanks dianna! =)

 

[vivien_lim]

having my gdl soon, my mom keep saying make it simple, but my in-law, say there must be some things that hokkien brides sure must receive.
Any advice from hokkien brides?
Btw my hubby is Hakka, his mom is teochew,
so she intend to gv me [si dian jin].
She ask me go choose, but i also dunno what to choose.

 

[jaslyn288]

Wahhh.. Hi vivien, u can choose a pair of earrings, a necklace, a ring, a bracelet or a bangle.. den depend on individual lor, either white gold or 916 gold or 999 gold.. =D

Normally, during ti qin, kokkien bride's parents will request for 2-4 bangles and other normal items lah.. heehee... =D since your MIL got the intention, den juz take lore.. ;p

so your MIL give during your GDL or as a gift on your AD (Tea Ceremony)?? but doesnt matter when to give you lah.. heehee.. =D

 

[vivien_lim]

i told my m-i-l that i wanna buy white gold for the [si dian jin], then she say ok lor, in this case she will gv me gold during tea..
so back to e [si dian jin],i just choose any 4item can liao is it??

 

[jaslyn288]

icic.. so gd..*envy*
I think I will only get bangles.. haiz..
Yup yup, any 4 items tat I have mentioned.. dun forget to ask for nice box to put your si dian jin.. den u can save $$ on boxes..
happy shopping wor.. heehee... =D

 

[smokeyeyes]

Hi all
We have finalised on the details.
Dad has also brought me to choose my 'JIA ZHUANG' and MIL has asked my hubby to find a day and we'll go to choose my SI DIAN JIN..

I was thinking... if the budget for SI DIAN JIN is low.. I'd rather take the Bangles too!!! I rather have a very expensive Bangles than a modest set of SI DIAN JIN..

I also just found 1 set of very nice SI DIAN JIN on the Poh Heng website.. yellow gold but quite modern and nice.. maybe I'd take that but have to check out the price first.

 

[smokeyeyes]

OH.. btw, and I am a hokkien bride and by right I am supposed to get bangles.. but I told my mum to say SDJ instead! *evil*

And the scariest part to me is the custom of, on the AD, i am supposed to wear my JIA ZHUANG from my parents (and my wedding gown) to my hubby house, serve tea, then change to tea dress, as well as put on the SDJ in-law gives and go home to 'flaunt' the gifts from in-laws to my family and relatives.

Here's my parents' GDL list for my hubby:
Ang Bao for my Mother only(Nappy AngBao)
Ang Bao for my Parents (PIN JIN)
12 oranges
2 bottles of liquor
2 pairs of Dragon / Pheonix Candles
8 boxes of wedding cakes
1 box of chocolates
12 cans Pig Trotters
Si Dian Jin

On the GDL day, my hubby must bring back 12 sets of my clothes back to his house together with whatever my parents return from the GDL..

Old CHinese customs are really fun!

 

[anomaly]

Ask you all ah, must the groom's sisters accompany the entourage to pick up the bride?

 

[smokeyeyes]

I think no need leh.. my AD.. only 2 of us driving.. nobody accompany somemore.

 

[smokeyeyes]

hahaha.. my Guo Da Li over.. phew... pictures at www.jasonandyvonne.multiply.com

 

[sheryl]

are there any documented customary procedures for hokkien brides? I'm worried as my mom is 'lost' when i asked her about it. please help.. thanks.

 

[cassabelle]

Hi all.. i need HELP too!!!

Both my hubby-to-be and myself are Hokkien...
My mum doesnt know much abt chinese tradition... and my MIL says last time when she got married, she doesnt receive any
'si dian jin' nor bangles nor gold etc.. so she dun intend to get anything for me...
then how? is it okie to get married without any gold?

my hubby-to-be was saying that if the gold is reali a need then he will give $ to his mother to buy a piece of gold item for me..
but told him, if its his own $ then i'll rather he give me the $ then i go choose the gold myself.. heez.. then at least can buy something that I like...

advise plsssss.....

chinese tradition are fun... but.. super confusing to me.. hahaha

 

[dizonne]

hihi princess...
from wat i koe, hokkien brides are supposed to have 2 gold bangles, but, im opting for 2pc gold instead, as n bracelet, necklace combination lor...

dun need to follow EVERYTNG la...juz follow wat u feel is affordable, and means smting to u.

For me, i insist tat his parents get smting for me coz it signifies the acceptance into his family...your family giving u gold is to signify ur value...to show the grooms side tat they married a lady wif value, n not any tom, dick, harry...

other than this, e rest of the tings are more or less like wat e other btbs have stated abv....pork cans, candles, oranges, cakes, etc...sm parents will oso ask for sugar cane or banana, bt then i duno e meaning behind it la...

 

[deerixp]

yup. i think hokkien brides is to get a pair of gold bangles.

My bf is a teochew and i am hokkien BTB. hmm.. my sis case is the same. so she got a SDJ and 2 gold bangles. but i think SDJ is gd enuff for mi le..

 

[deerixp]

yup. i think hokkien brides is to get a pair of gold bangles.

My bf is a teochew and i am hokkien BTB. hmm.. my sis case is the same. so she got a SDJ and 2 gold bangles. but i think SDJ is gd enuff for mi le..

 

[cassabelle]

hi xiaokeai and deerixp...

2 gold bangles? is it the dragon & phoenx bangle?? or normal bangles will do?

can insist them to buy for me? wat if they dun wan to buy? then my hubby-to-be give them $$ to pay oso can?
then if like this, it defeats the purpose of the bangle rite? cos is not they pay.. so no acceptance into the family??
is it this way? or i should die die insist they have to buy with their own $?

 

[lovie_dovie]

Hi Princess,

There might be reasons for them NOT buying the bangles for ya.. But frankly speaking, ive never ever heard before that in-laws not buying jewellery for their DIL. Even those in laws who's not so rich also die die buy 1/2k worth of jewellery for their DIL. For my case, my in-laws bought "si dian jin" for me and we even went together to buy as they wanted to buy me ones that i like! If like what u say, die die insist them to buy for u when they dun wan to, have u ever thought of the consequences? They might think that u are being materialistic or what and might give u a hard time in future.. What i suggest is that u try & find out the real reason. SOund 'em out and see what they says. It will definately be better than to "force" 'em becoz of traditional or so. Let 'em know what a good wife their son has found.

Hope i do not come offensive to ya.

 

[cassabelle]

Hi Lovie Dovie,

Thanks for ur advice ya..

actually to me, i dun have liking to gold.. so whether they buy for me anot.. i oso dun mind... but just tat, when asked around, it seems like those in-laws more or less oso got buy at least 1 pc gold.. so i tgt its like requirement or wat...
ermm.. i think i wont go and sound them out.. starting, she did mentioned that last time she dun even haf all these things.. so i definitely wont insist ya..
just asking ard.. cos if.. erm.. not a requirement, then i will ask my hubby-to-be not to give them $ to buy for me.. can use the $ for other wedding use oso..

went thru a few website and some guo da li list that some of U email me.. heez.. tink i'll just ask for the norms.. like.. martell... cake etc...
keep it simple ya ;P

 

[lovie_dovie]

Hi Princess,

U gotta be careful when dealing with relatives with regards to this "no bangle incident"as some will probe & say alot of things.. Coz like what u say ur mil doesn't have it when she married into the family right? BUT doesn't mean tat ur mum dun have when she marries ur dad.. U get what i mean? Others, may not understand "family" cultures involved and thus, u gotta know how to handle the situation when it comes!

Fo guo da li stuffs, if u need any help on finding the items, feel free to approach me.

That day i just went chinatown to buy the cakes as mil insist of having traditional ones. VERY EX!!! Hahaahahah.. But eh to me, i think if she dun treasure me, she wouldnt have bother in the 1st place! It's a give & take situation..

 

[cassabelle]

Hi Lovie Dovie..

Ya lor.. actually i still dun dare tell my mama yet.. cos i noe when my mama marry my dad.. she got receive gold items from my grandma... dunno how she will react if i tell her.. heez...
still tinking of how to tell her.. but mayb wont tell my mama so soon.. see how it goes first..

thanks for offering to help on the guo da li stuff ya.. actually i got a few list le.. tink i will keep it simple if my MIL is doing the same oso... but i tink in the end, i will need to discuss with my mama first before the Ti Qing part.. dun wan end up they quarrel.. heez.. heard alot abt parents arguing during the Ti Qing day.. so scary...

ha.. ur MIL quite good to U ya.. ermm... i dun tink my MIL side ppl will treasure me (but i dun care oso.. i anything one).. cos i noe they treasure their eldest son most... very obvious!! (reali... even my hubby-to-be tell me this..)... my hubby-to-be is their 2nd son.. so i tink, to them, not so impt... cos tat time they say they saving for his elder son's wedding.. but nv mention anything abt my hubby-to-be... can see my hubby-to-be quite sad.. haiz.. poor thing.. but told him nvm la... got me to dote on him can le... hahaha LOL *er xin*

 

[lovie_dovie]

Hi Princess,

I think u gotta let ur mum know real soon about ur in-laws intention. Im sure she will freak out at their funny practice. Assure her that u dun mind and secretly pray that she will let ur in-laws have their way of not buying jewellery for ya. If not.. talk to ur dad & get him to persuade ur mum or so if there's a need to. If u dun resolve this, it will definately escalate to a unthinkable stage!!!

Sad to learn that ur hubby to be is not cherish by his family.. But u're right, there's nothing to be upset about! Who cares, as long as u dun stay wif 'em after ur marriage and tat u can stand on ur own w/o their help! The most impt thing now is ur poor hubby to be. He muz be upset though this weird practice in his family is going around for quite some time.. Console him and let him know that u cherish him alot and that he has gain someone who loves him more than anything else in the world!

( For the tiqing thingz, what i meant was to advise ya which place u can go to buy cheaper things rather than those ex ones! budget! budget! budget!)

Stay cheerful always!~

 

[cassabelle]

Hi Lovie Dovie,

ya.. i need time to tink of how to say it in a nice and positive way to my mama.. heez.. still thinking hard...

ya.. lucky we wont be staying together.. heez...
ya.. he abit confused actually.. cos i told him i saw online abt the traditional things all that, but he say his mum told him different story...
so i have a hard time explaining.. in the end, i show him this website.. ahahah.. ask him read himself..

haha.. okie okie... tks tks... i will definitely compare the prices first... me on super budget.. cos all expenses on our own.. heez..

cheers

 

[lovie_dovie]

Hi Princess,

For me, i think the most important thing is to know what u and ur hubby wants. Then try and error along the way, no choice, right? BUT... It's important to follow custom to me (not exactly that follow but muz have those "necessary" things..) Example, for my case, i'm only told to prepare orange juice, cans of pig trotters and oranges will do. For in-laws, i need to buy shoes for his 2 elder sisters. In the end, i went along buying baby's basin, baby's "tam pui", 1 big tray, 1 small tray and a plastic cup. (everything with "xi" on it and in red) 2 pairs of bathroom slippers, 2 table lamp, the "wedding" tea set, 2 pairs of "long/feng" candles, "long/feng" candle holders and those lotus seed, green bean seeds and what-ever-seeds WAHAAHHAAHHAHA..

For in-laws, my mum also prepares angbao for his mum, dad, grandma and 2 sisters. And also, buy face towel for all his family members.

The only thing is regret is that i didn't buy all those things one by one as to save. I actually spend $78 for ONLY, baby's basin, "tam pui", 1 big tray, 1 small tray, a plastic cup, 2 slippers, 2 table lamp and the "wedding" tea set. *faint* See see.. that's why i say when buying wedding things, cannot be too implusive. Buy all in a shop only to realise kenna cheated. Muz look around 1st.. The most ridiculous part was the candle holder thing, at 1st i heard the wife ask the hubby how much is the candle holder when my mother in law asked for it. The hubby says it cost $10.80 and when i pay for it, it's $11.80. and the worst part is i didn't realise it until i leave the place. I told my hubby about it and he says that's it's okay la, it's only $2 only (i bought 2 pairs of holder) but i'm fuming mad lor.. Heiz.. Here $2, there $2 adds up alot lor..