His intention?


New Member
Posted on Wednesday, August 22, 2012 - 8:48 pm:       
My husband mention separation last month. I ask him why he said he is tired of this relationship. he just wan to move back to his mom. He mention he is already very tired of this relationship since I am pregnant.

The story goes like this....
2nd month after I give birth, he start by moving to sofa to sleep. He said is more windy in the living room. At first i thought is because of baby cry, which disturb his sleep. Weeks later, I ask him the real reason over SMS. He said he is tired of this marriage, wanted to file for separation. He said my temper towards him was very bad.he cannot tolerate. We had some quarrel when I was pregnant. During confinement, we also quarrel. He said he every time see me black face very sian. He rather work than come home and see me...he said let him go.I am sad. I ask him whether is he meeting someone new. He said no. Next day, I ask for reconcile, I will not take him for granted, and hope to have a loving family for ourselves and my child.
He didn't say anything.
He now return to sleep on our bed. He will SMS me how is baby when he is working. We talk to each other after his work.
But I still can sense his coldness.

Does he still love me? Is he hanging on because of our child?
I dare not to ask him. I scared I will trigger another bomb. Should I wait till everything settle then ask him? Is it once a man said he no longer love anymore, there no way to make Him come back.


"Is it once a man said he no longer love anymore, there no way to make Him come back."

i can imagine u are a black face old hag keeps nagging at him over simple matters. The only solution to this problem is by transforming yourself to a confident, sexy, beautiful lady and hope that whatever faithfulness instill in him during certain period of his life will realise this and do the wise thing to reconcile back to the wife.


If he wants to move on with his life...then let him go...it is no point holding him back if he is not happy in his marriage....it is a matter of time before he leaves u...

Once a man or woman say he no longer love u.....nothing u do will bring him back....but there is always a reason for everything...just hope that he will let u in on the real reason....


New Member
Pray that he doesn't meet someone new...

It's obvious his love doesn't overwhelm your temper... Which is, he doesn't really love you.

True love will mean loving your weakness.

You are just lying to yourself...


New Member
Have you done any reflection on yourself? What have you done to make him so pissed off? You hve to go to the root of the problem before you can do anything.
just like Confucius say " When someone disagree with you, it is time for you to RE-Evaluate yourself inwardly, instead of outwardly."


New Member
yep. even if he come back to you everything will be diff again.... its about own future we only live once.... dont force


New Member
men can be as quick with their words as women are with their temper, and suspicions.

I was just wondering, werent the phone calls deserving enough to say that he cares for you (even thou explicitly baby)? in case you forget, you and foetus is dependently 1 human within 1.


New Member
In your scenario i know that he still cares about you. if he says let go maybe its time to let go. When he realise it one day, he may change his mind. Sometimes you are tired to hold on, best is too let go. And i know you are too love to let go.


New Member
Now I suspect he is having affair.
Everything is weird.
I accidentally saw a mc which he suppose to work.He seldom took mc. I still remember he goes to work as per normal on that day.
He start taking his hand phone 24 hrs With him even bathing.
He mention hot so he switch on air con and close door for about few hours.
Got one time I caught him secretly pressing his phone in our mastered room never switch on light. ( I was in living room with my bb)

Is it weird? Should I be concern?


New Member
Yes he is weird! You should be concerned. Ask for a divorce and move on. Why should you still hanging on to someone who don't needs you. Why should everything be secretive. When you are married, alwayz believed this, "There is no secret between us"


New Member
go and seek your parents and in laws if things truly turn out the way as suspect. And you should take a breather away from the home too. Maybe go out with friends whom you can share. Yes, its more healthy that way rather than on your guard every minute at home. I do empathise with you..and all I wish to say, hang it on, think about wonderful the future, with your bb!


New Member
No use seeking in-laws lah~
Obviously, if what you said is true, he is hiding something from YOU.
Usually... it'd be another woman.
It's also very easy to check if he is having an affair using his own handphone...


New Member
Must learn how to fish mah...

Usually, TOW will feel lonely at night one, then your husband might have slept. Then secretly take his sim card and put it in your hp.

Especially when you notice his secret calls made are at night... whenever he slept or if you got chance to hide his phone away (or make his phone 'lost'), keep his sim card and hopefully TOW calls, then you can register the contact.

You can also use your own sim card on his phone, unless he always check sim card for numbers, usually he'd call TOW and all the calls made by him will go to your account which you can check at the end of the day with Telco. You can change during weekends when you both together but TOW will surely call...

Normally, he won't notice people not calling in one. At most TOW called but cannot get thru or... he called TOW but shows your number (which will alert him that you know liao). LOL~

No need worry, usually nobody will set password on Sim card and hp at same time. Too troublesome.

Otherwise, you can download a spy softward from China. This software will activate the phone and allow you to use another phone to tap in his phone and listen to what he said. But I never used this software...


New Member
I don think tow called. I think is whatsapp.
Rarely I hear phone ringing, mostly is on whatsapp. But cannot see what he typing.
he is 24 hr with his phone. Even shit also carry his phone.
I don know am i too paranoid
Which guy will constantly on whatsapp? So many things to chat with friends?


New Member
Like that even easier...

Take the sim card, use the account on your Whatsapp; if not password protected, then easy to check...

Usually apps don't have password protection one lah... Like Viber, it only recognise the Sim card/Phone Number...


New Member
Problem is his is iPhone, mine is galaxy.
The sim is different.
Unless I buy a second hand iPhone. Steal his sim card. Then place it in.
Do I have to sync with iTunes first?
Does he know when I place the sim card back?


New Member
Should I just ask him whether he has an affair?
Will guys admit that? I don understand if he is having affair why doesn't he tell me instead of doing things so secretive.
Since he wanted divorce, admitting to an affair isn't that hard either.
Why keep his wife hanging in the air?


New Member
No need to spy. I just confront him.
He admit.
Very sad now. But I had think of the consequences,
I make him break off w her in front of me. She SMS say go ahead.

Now should I believe their relationship is completely full stop?
Very confuse right now.


I really sympathise with you.

Maybe you might want to take some time off to think about the relationship. After you have cool down, have a heart to heart talk with him.

Seeing a counsellor might help too.

Be strong.


New Member
Already confess everything. I also heard her voice asking how I find out, really mean it? Did she (me) force you (husband).

Background of tow: divorce w kids, Knowing husband have wife pregnant and had gave birth. Still hanging on w him. Her ex also have affair that y she divorce.

I wan him to assure me he will break off w her. Is it too mean? I wan him to take me see her. He say he will never see her.


Not mean to have him promised you that. But really no point meeting her.

I have myself visited counsellor and I found it was quite good. Can give it a try.


New Member
Just feel so lost. I love him but I don wan him to be cheated by this woman. Just want to protect him. I am weird right. I should be crying beggin him not to leave me or rushing out of this house, divorcing him.

But somehow I also feel he is also cheated by this woman.
Somehow I am calm, telling him to think carefully the motive of this woman.
He tell me he feel lost also. He know I won't forgive and forget this.


As you have just found out about the affair today, let him and yourself to have some time to think things through.

My husband has initiated a separation this year as well but there was no third party. Just that he was confused and wanted to be alone. By since then we have patched back.

If he is truely sincere leaving the other woman, and you really want him back, must be prepared to forgive and forget.

But now is early to talk about forgive and forget. Take some time to sort out your thoughts and what you want. Maybe have a chat with your family or your close friends.


New Member
Because this woman know abt his everything, and recently she just divorce. So I think she is insecure also trying to hop into one safety boat. My husband appear so she tie him.
u will find your answer soon or later.... dun be so naive like me too.. even his affair exposed and alot of fights plus denials plus thousand of lies, in the end he decided last few months ago that he wanted to stay single n the other woman just obtained her divorce.

so now i want to make the separation formal but he refuse to sign or agree or anything. He wont be so decisive abt me or the other woman .. i believe he is abiding his time on something else that i might not know. still it is affirmed that i no longer want my husband back.

i know not easy in the longer run.. believe me u might forget everything in 1-3 years. Do stay strong for your kids.


New Member
He's not your One.

But you married him.

Now the issue is not whether to forgive or what... He's lying to you lah... How can he be cheated by that woman?

All he wants... is SEX. And you should expect him to fug other women... then hookers with STDs... then spread to you.

When he started moving to sofa... after you gave birth... you should realise this is not the man, he is not the One.

You are just bluffing yourself.

Don't think too much about that woman insecure lah, want safe boat lah... and try to shift focus from facing the truth about 'your' husband.

The issue is... do you seriously think this is the man... for the rest of your life? Is he really 'your' husband? He cheated you again and again in one affair... and you are still confused.

Oh, about the Iphone thing... Apps doesn't matter, I mean Whatsapp. You take his card, use your Galaxy and load Whatsapp, usually the woman for a whole day will send you one msg, maybe asking you why you so quiet... LOL~

And please...

You know... I told women that if they wanna leave, they could just tell me, and there is still one who will betray me to the WHOLE extent trying to hide from me... when I was watching her quietly as she was seeing another. LOL~

Point is, you expect the HUSBAND to tell you he is seeing someone else, give you a chance to divorce and split the money when you sound... so easy to be fooled.

NPYL tells you to see a counsellor...

The problem is, on the bed with this man, won't you be 'seeing' him fugging that divorced woman with kid... in your brain? LOL~

You think a counsellor would help? I doubt even a psychologist can help. And I am a psychologist cum marriage lawyer... Hehe~ Albeit a 'nasty' one.


New Member

Why do you women just ANYOHOW married eh?

Actually you doesn't need him to sign a separation... to make it formal.

Women... But it's entertaining to read...


New Member
I been with him since sec school. More than 15 years together. Really think thru that he is the one before I married him.
Yesterday when he is sleeping by my side. I cannot sleep also yet he is sleeping soundly. I knew I cannot keep this to myself.
I told him how I felt after this, what is hurting me most is not fugging another woman. Who nv fug more than 1 woman in life. It the emotional pain that I cannot tolerate.
he is still thinking about this woman beside me after I find out. Even Feeling sad about her.
I knew I have to make sense with him.

I told him how I feel from starting of marriage to now. From confident to lose faith.

I know myself at fault also because I keep on rejecting him for sex, and don wan to hold hand w him. That why this woman know this and can capture him.
Perhap I know him since young that why I understand his character. He need care and concern and physical touch (not sex but holding hands, hug each other) but I keep on reject him. I also don know why I did that.
Perhaps I took him for granted. And think of myself only.

I am very rational, I know he is the one in my life and i still remember the vow we make and for my kid sake. I have to be strong.
Ultimately being a wife n mother, I will try my best to protect my family.

I told him, this will be the first time and the last time. If I am suspicious abt anything again then it the end
there is many reasons why women had to marry. scopeguy, are u this bastard who keeps fucging meh? wonder why u never find your love? maybe as well u stay a playboy and dun ever marry lar...


New Member
A new chapter,

Not many women in Singapore can afford to 'keep' me. You know my lifestyle? LOL~

I wake up in a $24000 spanish made bed with gold thread pillows and silk bedsheet with goose feathers... Maid or a chef will cook for my breadfast. My soap is $40 a piece, my facial wash and cream about $400 every three months. I go to toilet, the door will auto close by someone else.

Those not including my weekly visits to wash my face, and enjoy the massages...

Have four vehicles to choose to drive, my running shoes are limited edition, my computer was the fastest dual core 3.0 that time, my bicycle is a $8000 titinium frame, my watches are collectibles... my meal averages about min $20. Go overseas, party costs $1.5m, plus club memberships...

You think you can afford me? LOL~

I read laws, psychology, finance, and is a grandmaster in Chinese, and won in competitions, I was a sportsman with many medals, trained in hand-to-hand combat, firearms and grenades. I know how to ride a horse too.

I can, but I don't drink wine. I like to tease... and praise women for their beauties, I like romance, flowers, beautiful garments, beautiful women, but don't like nightspots or those from nightspots...

In real life, I love to chat and chat up women... and whether they will date me is up to them.

I help women with their problems...

Of course... I fug women, because I am a man, and they are happy. They want the sex...

Problem is... I don't exactly like old women... and you'd need more than money... to keep me around. LOL~

BTW, I also like to tease morons in forums... sa if their stupidity is all I ever care. It's merely... for fun. My personal entertainment. I have alot of entertainment, because I don't go to party and club, I'd need some... alternative sensation to stimulate my boring life.

Why should I marry? Keep the romance coming, join various babes in beds, you called that 'bastard'?

Who do you think shalt require my permanent and sole attention?

Of cos... I am well-known to be a phobic when it comes to STDs...

I don't 'play' women. I feel for them, my hearts feel their souls, bleeds for them, and when they are sad, they cry in my arms and I comfort them; when they are stressed, I offer orgasms. When they need me, I am with them at the gynaes. I'd give them whatever possible they want... except marriage.

Why women had to marry... is not the issue. Why women marry ANYOHOW is. If not now then later, most women will confront competitions as they grow old and ugly... but when they are young, the idea of the 'One' never seems to take root.

Actually, what more do you want from a man?

Say, if I love you, will you love me hence...?

Many reasons women married... Where is the love? What is your version of love? Do you even know the international laws of marriage, and how to play with it?

Ah~ I also read international laws... including copyrights. And of cos, I also read defamation laws, local and international. LOL~

Who thinks you can 'keep' such a man? Be my guest... LOL~!!!

You are just a game... of mine. Nothing else. Purely for my entertainment.


New Member

You are indeed an amazing pigbrain... Sigh...

It's one thing that... a man sleeps around, and another when he loves you and he goes sleeping around.

To date, including ONSs and such, I happen to have exactly 111 women. I can tell you sex is just so... simple. So natural.

However, you know... why these 111 happen? LOL~

That's because I haven't met that ONE woman who can rein me in.

You can fully expect the number to jump faster when I got the job I have been interviewed for the second round recently. Once my attention is diverted from job searching... my instinct kicks in full force.

I err... love a woman deeply, I can tell you I'd only have ONE woman in this whole puny life if she has married me... or merely dating me. I don't know if this is good or bad, because a man is supposedly designed to 'spread the love'.

No sex doesn't mean a man will fug around. You are WRONG. I love that woman, if she is pregnant for 365 years, I'd just hug her for 365 years WITHOUT sex. That's the purpose of seeking out the One. Love will replace and counter the lust.

The problem with you now is... you are sulking like the rest of the moronic women with a brain of a pea size... trying to create irrelevant excuses for your husband.

And you said you know and took the vows...

What did the vows say, emmm?

Marriage is an international law, but the vows... is a package describing love. Love itself is already a vow, see? You are just reciting love.

He doesn't love you, my darling.

And why are you sad? Why are you emotionally shaken? You know why.

You just don't want to face it. This man sleeping beside you in your bed... he doesn't love you.

You don't really understand his character... for if you do, you won't choose him. Obviously, the hard truth is, you chose to marry him because you thought he is the One. But he isn't.

He doesn't care about you.

You merely gave birth for 2 months... your baby was only 2 months old, and he wanted to sleep on the sofa.

You think he cares about your baby?

You think your delivering his baby to this world has made him love you more? Obviously not. Why?

He doesn't love you, silly. He doesn't care. You know it, that was why you are here in the first place. You just won't face it.

Excuses, excuses, excuses... I have seen many women like you...

You are rational? Nay... You are not. You want to protect what family?

But it is true. You now have a baby... How do you raise a baby by yourself? Can you work and dump the baby at home? You can't.

If... I am not wrong with your man... He'd jolly well fug again, and again... and again. You err... wanna play spy war with him?

You are going to waste your youth in self-denial, and in a stupid game... with such a man...?

Do you know why he made the 'mistake'? What is the use of your 'warning'?

He made that mistake, because his dick was making the choice and he has a chance... He'd make the same mistake again when his dick will need to make another choice given another chance.

You choose a man who don't use the brains, nor have the culture to make decisions. And you expect him to... what?

Did I say anything wrong? LOL!


I have been with my husband for 17 years as well. Since poly. So I can understand the pain and the hurt you are going through.

A lot of times we ourselves are at fault as well. If you have decided to stay in this marriage, other than working together with your husband, you have to work on yourself too.

I am not sure when it is the best time to talk to your husband to commit to the marriage cos mine took more than 2 months before he was willing to talk to me again.


New Member

Your advice will send her to nowhere.

Even yourself...

You obviously married a man who you don't really know, you believe in 'working' when there is nothing to work for in love. You and him obviously have a communication issue right from the start.

Marriage... obviously to you, is merely a decision.

You are probably another woman in self-denial... dragging in a loveless relationship, hoping that something a mortal does can change the wheel of fate, can change a man... but what you should be praying is...

That your competition never comes. LOL~

The best time to talk to her husband to commit to marriage... is before marriage. Now, what is there to talk about? Like with yours, Amazingpiggy has a communication issue with the husband.

The similarity between you both is, you just dragged hoping the longer the time, there is a basis that the belief has found a foothold.

But love doesn't work that way...


New Member
Long-term relationship before married scares me after seeing this forum. Pros and cons in marriage, am i able to handle it? i been with my boyfriend for 10yrs and plan to get married next year after seeing all this, i predict that this might happen to myself.
I agreed with npyl that alot of times ourselves are at fault. Its about working together.
if man wants sex to get the relationship going and this sex is a force sex then what happen to women and love??


Fafanini, not to scare you but I am not the only case whereby long term relationship did not end in happily married. If given a choice again, I might not drag so long to get married.

But since we are already married, it will then be to work together to to get the marriage going. I must admit I am working hard on it as well and things are going slow. But I keep telling myself if this is what I want, I will need to sacrificed and work hard.

Some ppl think that things in marriage comes naturally and working hard together is not necessary but that is not true. I am sure ppl that are married or have been married will agree with me.

For piggy, she must know what she wants. If is to stay in this marriage, then to work together with her husband to make things work.


New Member
Keep telling yourselves that and drag and drag and drag... and sayang each other and jump into marriage.

Just keep me entertained... sulking and moans and whines...

Work together? LOL!!!

You think Prince Charles and Diana never tried?

You think every divorced chickens never tried work together? Or you think people go to get married because they never 'worked', that they suddenly see each other cock stands hole wet then cheong to ROM?

The hard truth: Your competition not yet come, you can still believe you can work a relationship.

This is bullshit! LOL~

That man is either your destined One or he isn't, period! LOL!

It's not about how long you know the man or with him... Love just doesn't work that way! Even if you are married for 20years, he might meet a SYT in the 21th year... tat's it.

OMG~ This is so hilarious... Women's logic, forever so... entertaining.


New Member
We drag for a reason and need to be prepared for the worst. to give the man that you love is not easy. But how do you work? Is it only you make sacrifices? What about another party? Are they working on it to get you back? Sometimes it did cross my mind and question myself. Is this what i want? Is it worth the sacrifice? I don't want to end up hurting myself whereas he did nothing to get the relationship going? Is this always fair for a woman? If i were in Piggy's place, I be in dilemma to let him go. But on the other hand i need to put myself above him? If he is not working on the relationship, then why should i work on it?


I must admit it is very difficult and alot of times I felt I am the one giving in. But I just keep telling myself that a lot of things are no big deals. Just give in to him. He is making some efforts as well. But to be frank, sometimes I am still worried that he will suddenly tell me that he wants to divorce.

I spend a lot of time loving myself. Doing the things I like to do and in that process, it gives him time to do his things - work. He is a workaholic and I try not to deprive him from that.

If he is trying to make an effort, I show my appreciation. Hoping that he will continue his effort.

Maybe I am not making any sense but I just tell myself to be contented with what I have.

All the best in your marriage. Hope you will have the happily ever after ending.