Helping my SIL to find a boyfriend (husband to be)

musicbox

New Member
Hi there,
I'm helping my SIL to find a suitable boyfriend, I hope those serious singles or who has friends or relative who are suitable and sincerely can PM me.
The following is a bit info of her:
Height: around 167cm
weight: around 49kg
age: 34
occupation: marketing/ admin executive
citizenship: Msia (but working in SG for many years already)
The reason she cannot find a bf is becoz she always stay at home after work, a bit shy, i guess this the common problem of those remain single. Her look is present, character wise she's a soft spoken lady.
She's looking for someone around her age, have mature thinking, stable career, other things like look is not that important, most importantly is the character, and preferably a non-smoker.

I hope no one will take this as a joke, and only those sincerely helping need to reply.

Thanks all!
 


miloice

Well-Known Member
Please don't do that. Should at least do the 1st level screening first. Posting person photos online like this isn't a wise thing to do.

This is basic measure one needs to take when online.

Alternatively, get some panda pix from Junkie. keekee.
 

infojunkie

Active Member
yah lor, i got fotos of all sorts of positions leh. if u cant find one u like just let me know. i ask panda to pose again. heeeee...
 

musicbox

New Member
Hi Tigre,
Ya, I agree Milo, not that good if i post her picture here.

To all,
Pls pm me to discuss further if you've suitable candidate.

Thanks all for helping!
 

musicbox

New Member
Hi Power,
I didn't tell her i'm posting here, but once i got someone suitable i'll let her know, anyway i won't give out her private info without getting her permission, and i've discussed about this with my husband (her brother), it shd be fine.

Hi Salsa and Crazy,
You won't understand the stress she feel whenever ppl asking her when is she getting married. I can tell she's a bit worried come to this year and she does ask me whether got any friend to introduce to her. Of course I can't guarantee finding a Mr Right for her, she'll have to do the screening herself and find out more about the ppl she's dating.

I think remain a single is not a bad idea, but there're ppl expecially gals who really feel like being pampered and loved.

I think it'll be better to get someone who're also interested in getting a life-time partner and for which can match up the common interest among them than simply recommend anyone.

I think marriage agency will be her last resort, but marriage agency also not all are good, some just want to earn money only. Btw she's not eligible for SDU coz she's not Sporean / PR
 

powder

Active Member
do u realise that if u intro her to a psycho or a pervert or someone who just wants a quick fling....

that u'll put your marriage and the whole family in jeopardy?

50/50 chances of meeting baddies is not a safe percentage to me.
 

musicbox

New Member
Hi Powder,
There's always risk of meeting the wrong person regardless of where she meet the person, this is why someone have to exercise her own judgment in selecting the right person to date. Who can guarantee the person you see everyday is the person you know? No one, whether you know this person through work, through school or whatever places, this person could turn out to be nasty out of your surprise, again, one take their own risk when choosing their "Mr or Ms right". That's also why marriage is not by "first sight".
I do know your concern, that's also why many don't want to be the "middle man" in introducing bf or gf, but she's my SIL, if I don't help her to look around, she might end up alone for the rest of her life.
I've an aunt who married at 40, she was brought to all kind of match making sessions by my uncle, everyone including the relative was laughing at her at that time, but now she's married with 2 kids in primary school, i can see the great difference in her before and after marriage, you know, marriage to a woman is like the career to a man, which is a great part of their life (this might not be a good concept but it is true). Of course, there're failure cases, got cheated, etc, but without trying, who knows you'll succeed?
The fact is she wants to get married, but she's no channel in getting to know new friends, time flies everyday......
 

thommy

New Member
Actually you don't have to do this for your SIL. If she's fated to get married, she will. There's nothing wrong in staying single too, I have seen many single women very happy with their lives till now and they have no intention of changing their lifestyles.
 

salsa_babe

New Member
If she wants to get married, then she herself has to be proactive lor.

There are other methods..other than SDN.
All she needs is to explore.
 

musicbox

New Member
Hi Thomas,
understand, and true that single women can be happy, but for my SIL, she wants to get married.

Hi Salsa,
Ya, she started to be proactive since last year, but her circle is just too small, we're exploring all the possibilities for her.
 

crazy_guy

New Member
if ur SIL wanna find someone to settle down, then she must b proactive liao...attend as many events as possible to know more...

there's lotsa dating website that offers single events..i always get emails n sms from them..lol
 

ariebeth

New Member
Dreamz:

There are other avenues to meet someone. Has she considered online? (I met my fiance in an online game, but that was purely accidental).

Also, I wanted to mention that your SIL sounds exactly like my colleague. He is 40 and extremely shy, he works on weekdays and goes to church on weekends... and that's about all he does. Suggested that he join some SDU activities, he shy. Suggested speed dating, he shy. Suggested that he go to another church so that he can meet other like-minded ladies, he also shy. SIGH.

I think the 2 of them should hook up. Problem solved.
 

altiora

Member
What are her hobbies? I think getting social around her hobbies is a good way to start. She can start by finding meetup groups centered around her hobbies online (try googling meetup singapore, and you see what I mean) and attend these sessions. Most of them are free or modestly priced. Once she starts attending these sessions, she can get to know more friends! Hopefully her interests are not the very ladyish type e.g. cross-stitch or sewing etc.

I was once in a similar situation, the everyday go-home-after-work type. Not cos I was shy but because I was an avid gamer. I think I am lucky cos gaming is an interest that guys can relate to. I got to know my fiance online, then started to msn, that led to actual meetups. So I wouldn't say that knowing people online is bad, but do take the necessary precautions for the first few meetups.

Being proactive is important, as well as knowing what oneself wants. IMO,I think we should not just sit on it waiting for fate to make things happen. To me, fate is something beyond my control, so conversely anything that I can control is not fate. Heh.

Good luck!
 

ariebeth

New Member
altiora:

I'm a gamer too hehe.. also met my fiance through it in 2002. Like you, we MSNed for months, started talking on the phone, then a year later, we met up and hit it off.

What do you play? I'm on World of Warcraft.
 

powder

Active Member
well Dreamz,

nothing against introduction and middlemen... that Wasn't my concern.

it was the fact that u are asking online for middlemen to You being middleman...

i intro A to B - i know both A & B, both have been vetted and verified by ME.

i intro u to A to intro to B - u won't know ME, u need time to know A, and THEN u can safely intro to B. by the time u can do it safely - A can be wrong... u could have ended up having an affair with A, etc etc...

Nothing against middlemen. absolutely nothing.

it's the medium u're using which is untrustworthy... if me and milo wanted were 2 baddies wanting to hook up with your SIL AND YOU... the 2 of u will be in trouble. u'll never know we're married and u dun even need to have my real name...

just an example... there are perils on the internet and i am merely telling u and warning u abt it... cos i worry that it will end up hurting your marriage and the entire family IF things go wrong... so dun give me the "Who can guarantee the person you see everyday is the person you know?" argument.

u have every right to do as u please... i have every right to ensure that when u fcuk up, u dun act blur and blame your luck or anything...

if u have a very strong acument and ability to see thru pple, then u'll be fine. if u're those dumb types who can't tell a sheep from a goat, then this is a Very Very bad medium.

and your agenda for doing all these is for HER? or is there some hidden agenda... this one only u know yourself.

u seem the more desperate one. else go thru reputable agencies... online or otherwise.
 

musicbox

New Member
Hi Crazy,
Can give me the website address?

Hi AB,
I think your friend and my SIL cannot, coz their religion got conflict....

Hi altiora,
Thanks for the encouragement, finally something to light me up......

Hi Powder,
Thanks for your comment, different ppl have different thinking, I'll just do what i think is right (don't want to discuss further on this matter, else have to write super long reason to explain....)
Btw, yes i'm also very desperate, in fact the whole family and kampong is desperate for her....haha.
Also, if you know of any reputable agencies or online website pls recommend, she did try a few which turn out to be non-professional and discouraging....

Anyone with constructive suggestions pls give recommendation, thanks!
 

goldfishtee

New Member
Hi Dreamz,

I met my husband thru dating agency (lunch actually). Your SIL has to register herself with the agency. The agency will take note on her preferences, hobbies, etc. From there the agency will help your SIL to find matches within their members and contact your SIL whenever there is match for date arrangement.

Please note that I am not promoting lunch actually dating agency, there are many dating agencies you can consider. Read their website and find their reviews. Your SIL is not an SPR? I think SPR should be able to join most of the dating agencies here.

What I want to highlight here. While it's good for you to help her if finding some candidates for your SIL, it would be better for her to be pro active and search herself. You could help her in other aspects such as giving advice and tips. She has to work on her shyness. You could have intro your SIL to many guys, but it may not develop into anything if she's too shy to communicate. It is also important to keep an open mind, be realistic, it is better to build friendship first, take things slowly rather than rushing into relationship. Lastly, I wish your SIL all the best in finding her spouse.
 

dimpxtt

New Member
go those social netwking loh
eg emails sent by them?
if you want..i can send u some..

give me ur email addy :p
 

crazy_guy

New Member
got one is not website based one..its more like pte...everynow n then i will get activities updates from the organiser...

another is heart2heart...but by sms one...
 

dimpxtt

New Member
got one is by gerald's email..

he always organise those single dating thr email

along e way..will play 'magical chair'

hahhahaa.
 

crazy_guy

New Member
ya ya....should b Jerald....but some of his activites got age limit or age range one..a bit not too gd but more focus i guess
 

dimpxtt

New Member
also got
'if you think you are good looking or pple think you are good looking then can join in the kopi session'

this one i also find it very funny....
 

cococherry

New Member
Now I have 50 online game clan mates and 48 of them are young boys, 1 in his 40s - married and the other one is my husband. Not easy to meet one in game once she is above 30, the lunch meeting session is better
 

dimpxtt

New Member
sometimes,

it is better to be single than meet someone who dun treasure u n inject u wif acidic words n physical..

what for increase e divorce rate.

so what 30s and above...man will take advantage that you are a 'old cow' and dun treasure u well.

a woman must love herself before she let the man loves her...
 

infojunkie

Active Member
yah lah, u ober 30. u OLD liao!

and man hor will take advantage of u cos u old cow (heng ah, i'm a panda haahah)

must love urself 1st lah... enjoy life and eat gd fd!

1413303.jpg


heeee...
 

altiora

Member
Hi AB (ariebeth),

Tried to PM you but the feature was disabled. I played WoW too! Used to be on Gorgonnash (ally) and Frostmourne (horde). Was around since pre TBC, had a 60 NE hunter, 70 BE warlock (raider) and 62 BE priest. But I stopped playing since WotLK came out as I started taking a part-time masters and became more busy.

Currently playing only casual PC/DS/PSP games, free mmorpgs. Now playing Dragon Age: Origins. Still waiting for Diablo 3. Apparently it will not be released this year. -_-

Thomas (thommy): Thanks. Are you a gamer too?

coco (cococherry): You are right actually. Most of the gamers I know are younger guys in their early 20s, or even JC students. Sometimes it depends on the game. WoW has quite a diverse community, while more cutesy games (e.g. maplestory) draws younger and probably female players.

Back to topic, I would think that it is better to encourage her to step out and act on her own instead. Encourage her to participate in social activities and know more people. Teach her to fish rather than give her the fish. Reason being, even if you succeed in finding a suitable person whom you can introduce to her, there is no guarantee that it will work out. What will happen then? You come back with another post?

Another reason is that if she is the one being proactive and get to know more people, she will be exposed to different other type of guys. This will help her improve her own judgement of the type of person she wants to be with, as well as the ability to spot and filter away unsuitable candidates. Just my own opinion.
 

ariebeth

New Member
Altiora:

My PM is enabled all along... weird. I will move the gaming talk to PM... because I can talk about that all day hehe

Dreamz: I do agree with everything Altiora has said. Your SIL is the one who has to talk to the guy and connect. So what if you finally shortlist someone for her? He may be perfect for her in every way, super compatible, but they have no chemistry and no connection.

It really isn't that difficult to meet new people, one just has to be open-minded and step out of their comfort zone.
 

thommy

New Member
junkie: wahahahahhaa...nice pic!

altiora: yup I used to be...gaming is very addictive until it was taking a toll on my studies...quit after that and recently cldn't resist again after watching my bro play L4D duh. u dun play maple story ah? hahahaha

oops OT liao, we talk more over pm if needed hee.
 

ariebeth

New Member
Thomas: I used to play MapleStory.. and Neopets haha. Neopets (in 2002) surprisingly has a lot of adults (I met up with many people from my guild and my fiance too).. but Maple is full of idiot kids who are so bratty and cannot take losing. It was irritating after awhile.

I was on Starcraft and Red Alert for awhile, but I still liked WoW best.

Altiora:

Diablo is a Blizzard game right? I highly doubt Blizzard will release anything until World of Warcraft: Cataclysm is launched. Even so, if Cataclysm does really well, they will postpone the launch of their other games again, so as not to compete with their best-seller.

>.< We need a gaming thread lah. I don't like to OT but can't help it. Sorry ar TS.
 

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