Help me.

mara

New Member
I am 19 yrs old, and currently studying in a polytechnic..I got pregnant recently, but it wasn't any normal pregnancy. I had an ectopic pregnancy, which means that the implantation occurred in my Fallopian tube. I had to go for an operation to remove my left tube, together with the fertilized egg. My boyfriend is willing to take the responsibility although I don't have a baby in me anymore. He has been there for me all the way.
But the problem now is that my parents forbids me from seeing him again. I understand their position as parents, but I feel that they are taking things too far. I am really suffering in my house. My parents lock me up in the house, they took away my handphone and the house phone. I am recovering after the operation but I take care of myself as my parents won't even look at me. I bathe, cook and do everything else for myself. And when my family leaves home and goes out, my mother padlocks the gate with a huge lock. She also shuts and locks all the windows in the house. The only way I can communicate now is through the internet. I thank my lucky stars they didn't take my laptop away. I feel like I am a prisoner in my own house. I feel so cooped up. I can't take it anymore. I need help!
 


mara

New Member
Thanks mark..I am really upset and afraid, if I were to get help, my parents will hate me even more. But I really can't take it...My parents forbids me to socialise. I can't meet my friends or cousins anymore..I am all alone..
 

mark78

Active Member
seek help. let the SOS help u. They shld be able to give your parents a better understanding in handling the situation.
 

mark78

Active Member
in the meanwhile. try to youtube some comedy and read. keep your mind occupied.
happy.gif
 

mark78

Active Member
green u just reminded that i am lock up too. i do not have my keys with me and its home alone...

fortunately got some cookies to keep me occupied.
 

mara

New Member
Thanks green.
remember, i cant make any phone calls because my mum took away my hp and also the house phone.so it's quite difficult for me to seek help.i'm going crazy in this house.am i being unfair and over-reacting? or is my mum over-reacting? i feel that this shouldnt be the way she handles things.i was in a life-threatening situation during the pregnancy, and i am still shaken by it. i need my friends to talk to, i need people ard me.
i forgot to mention that she refused all visitors when i was in the hospital.she actually informed security guards not to allow any visitors for me.so can you imagine what i went through after the operation?? i couldnt make phone calls, she took my whole wallet including all my cash, and i had no visitors, and she didnt allow me to talk to anyone in the ward. i was really lonely during those days. and i still feel very lonely now.
 

cuclainne

New Member
there's always skype ...

actually, is this true or not? i just can't believe that you, an educated person no less, can just sit back and allow this to happen to you - even if it's your parents .. you have basic rights!

like green mentioned, what happens if there's a fire? maybe you should just call the police .. they're holding you prisoner.

or maybe i can call them for you, since you don't have a phone - they can track you by the IP address and go to your house ..
 

cherylkjh

Member
do u need ppl to call the police for u?? or something??? u shdnt be locked up in the hse. it is very dangerous if fire broke out...
 

atos_sg

New Member
mara,

I have a daughter, if such incident happen to her when she's 19, I would be upset too. Same as your parents the top most priority is to keep this guy who got my girl pregnant away, and I would not want to see him.

It's now up to you to tell and show your parents, that you respect them and want to move on, and promise such silly things won't happen again.

You are just 19, your parents wanna see you finish your study and be someone useful. Your parents love you, but just do not know how to control you. They need assurance, not rebellion.
 
Think MarA doesn't want to get her parents into trouble by calling up police.

MarA,
How about emailing your friend or family centre about your address? Ask them to talk to your parents.
 

cuclainne

New Member
don't really understand what she wants us to advise her to do .. just find the entire situation a bit too dramatic ..
 

mark78

Active Member
cuc. there are children who got locked up and yet afraid that alerting the POLICE will get their parents into hot soup. contact SOS.
 

cuclainne

New Member
just that she has had the opportunity .. parents took away everything but not the laptop (like duh?) - still got connection to outside world but instead of seeking help, still got time to write in forum .. ?????? i'm curious to know how some people think la ..
 

zolyn

New Member
Ya lor.

If her parents knew that, her daughter still contacting outside by using laptop. They will sure conficate. Once the laptop conficated.. haha.. No one really can help liao.

Mara, Are you going to implement any of our advise?
 

janie_wawa

New Member
"i forgot to mention that she refused all visitors when i was in the hospital.she actually informed security guards not to allow any visitors for me."

i dun tink hospital have such services where by they guard your room for you....
 

janie_wawa

New Member
"i couldnt make phone calls, she took my whole wallet including all my cash, and i had no visitors, and she didnt allow me to talk to anyone in the ward."

erm...from the above it seems like she dun stay in a 1 bedded room? i tink its kinda ridiculous tat she cant tok to anyone..the mouth is on her face...i m sure her parents are not there 24hrs..she could have asked the nurse for help..its too drama...
 

mara

New Member
Sorry, but yes maybe you guys think this is dramatic. But its true. When i was in hosp, my mum was there from morning till like 8pm. after 8pm, visitors would have to register at the security post, and yes, she did inform the guards not to allow any visitors for me. she gave them ward and bed number. and i am afraid to alert the police coz i'm afraid that something will happen to my parents. i just need to get out. and i was afraid to talk to anyone, coz my mum asks them questions. as everyone can see, my mum over-reacts. my mum is very dramatic. it sucks to be me. and i am writing in this forum because i dont know what i should do. i am afraid to get my parents in trouble. they'll hate me even more. i already emailed the samaritans, thanks to mark. and yes, it's also true, when my mum finds out that i've been communicating through my laptop, then i am dead for sure.
i am just really afraid.
 

mark78

Active Member
"i forgot to mention that she refused all visitors when i was in the hospital.she actually informed security guards not to allow any visitors for me."

"i dun tink hospital have such services where by they guard your room for you...."

this abit... dubious leh. sorry to doubt you.. but after janie said that.. i start to pic only 1 place. CGH where there is guards but its Prison guards to guard patient who is in the custody of the state.

Then once again... cul. there are parents who really do not know that PC/Laptop can use to contact or surf porn. I overheard my student's mum said she will hide the VCD player away as his son was caught with some Porn VCD yet unaware that internet is a bigger library to this adult entertainment.

Mar A. i really do not know which hospital u were admitted to. Fyi, hospital do not take such orders from parents.

Security Post? During sars, yes there is some post set up. security post? Guards? register... ahem. pls share.. which hospital...

fyi.. are u in SG? nvm... let the SOS handle your case...
 

mara

New Member
i dont know what was the exact arrangement.but like i said, after visiting hours, visitors have to register to security. i was admitted to KKH, women's tower. yes, i am waiting for reply from SOS.
 

cuclainne

New Member
last time happy happy in your other thread about your ex-bf and bf, can laugh some more .. little girl, please grow up.

after visiting hours, the guards discourage visitors from coming but it's not unique just to your case. it's for all the patients so that they can get the rest.

and not allowing you to speak to anyone in the ward .. to me, this is ridiculous .. your mom is not with you in the ward 24/7 .. you've had plenty of opportunity to interact with the other ladies there .. nurses and doctors too, when they do their rounds ..
 

mara

New Member
i think i don't have to explain again. if anyone don't understand my posts then yea...
key word in ur post "discourage". visitors are still allowed. i'm 19, not an ignorant prat.i suggest re-reading my posts and look out for the word AFRAID.
this is a very difficult time for me, but i'm glad i think before i act. and that's the reason why i started this thread, coz i wanted to know if my next step, which is to seek help, is the right thing to do since i may get my parents in trouble.
 

itag

New Member
Mar A :

please call SOS directly - *not* email them if things are deem urgent. SOS may direct you to a local authority contact that will take up your case.

Here is a url that you will find more useful.
http://www.depnet.com.sg/uni0/emergencyhelp/

Do approach one of the family service center (which SOS may refer you to) or the emergency service helpline (as in the above link)

If you have other queries that need direct counseling , pm me and i will give you the contacts.
 

itag

New Member
Mar A :

I re-read , that you have no phone communication. You may consider using Skype to call. (Charges are very cheap )

Alternative , email a friend to get you a pre-paid card and send it to you (with a phone).

The reason why i am more insistent on phone than email as several vwo orgs are over loaded and they will be able to attend the cases faster if you call in directly rather than emailing.
 

mara

New Member
I've made up my mind. I'm running out of home today. And then I'm gonna call SOS for help. Thanks guys.
 

canbear

New Member
Wow, that's drastic, mara. I guess your parents do love you or are concerned about you. And this is the way they react to what you have done.

Anyway, locking you up is a dangerous thing to do. Should you need to escape in the event of a mishap, such as fire, there might be a problem.

Good luck and take charge of your life.
 

mark78

Active Member
Mar A? how to run when u do not have the keys? please do not try the windows...its very dangerous.

why not stay up and email SOS for help.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Mar A,

whatever they are doing, even though wrong and criminal in fact, it was done out of love. I hope you can talk things over with your parents to resolve this peacefully.

In the current situation, I don't think its advisable to rebel against them to be with your bf. Rather, ask of him to be patient and allow time to prove his sincerity to win over your parents' hearts. You are still so young and I'm sure how hurt they are. They are doing everything possible to protect you even if its against your will.

Give yourself time. If he is the one, then its supposed to last a lifetime. This will not be the only trial u encounter in life. Don't just live for the moment. Take this time to let your mind clear up on your goals and find out what you really want and need.
 

greyarea

New Member
mar A,
yes, like milo said, your parent love so you much that they have to resort to this type of tactic. they must have though they were giving you too much freedom that resulted you being pregnant. I'm sure they will blame part of this to themselves too.

Handle this maturely. sit down your ur parents and talk to them calmly and tell them your feelings. you need to talk calmly and convince your parents to gain back their trust..if you find it difficult to talk, write them a letter. You can pen down your words carefully this way. I'm very sure you parents will hear you out.

Don't take the drastic way that some of the people here suggested. It's not worth to sour your relationship with your parents this way.
 

missszesze

New Member
well.. from your past thread and now this.. u seemed to have a dramatic life...

hope u can sort things out well..

good luck..
 

sadman2009

Active Member
Mar A,
You are only 19. Life is still a long way for you.
Your parents are the ones that have always loved you and will always do.
It's not worth to sour ur r/s with your parents this way.
Talk to your parents peacefully. Let them know that you are aware of your own mistake and will not make it again. Gain their trust through your maturity.
By the way, through my knowledge is, most relationships at 19 years of age will not last.
So, it's not worth.
 

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