pingping, like i've mentioned before in other threads, marriage is a coming-together of two separate individuals .. you say you do not have any interest in common but there's the movie watching .. that counts for something. even if it's just sitting at home and watching a DVD together, that accounts for something. maybe you might want to get him interested in your likes and vice-versa? like eg my husband is interested in shakespeare's works and certain kind of music, when i know there's a production showing or his favourite musical act is in town, i'd buy tickets for us to go. likewise when i saw some ballet performances i'd like to attend, he's willing to come with me. i even went to sim lim with him when he's looking for computer parts - to me, that's like the most boring thing ever but still i went along to keep him company and while i was there, he took the time to explain the functions of certain parts and i even got to chose the casing for him .. hahaha .. so it ended up being a good day. like i said before, you just have to keep an open mind and heart.
if it's housework that gets you all worked up, hire a part-timer to do that. that's what i'm doing now - my cleaning auntie comes once a week to clean floors, surfaces and toilets. with 2 kids, me and the husband don't want to be spending our time doing these stuff - yes, we still have to clean up the inevitable spills from dinner, the dishes and the laundry but at least it lightens up the load of things to do.
i am somewhat like you - but when i'm cleaning up the remnants of dinner, the husband prepares the kids for sleep and then when he's done with that, i'd just tell him to clean the floor and their seats, and wash up their milk bottles. laundry is easy, just dump the clothes into the machine and while it's running, you can do other things and get back to it later when it's done.
your husband sounds quite like mine, i usually go to bed before he does cos he still wants to sit at the computer or play his video games. but it's ok for me cos he gets to do all the nitty-gritty like checking things are switched off, doors are locked before coming to bed, feeding the youngest her night feed and i still get a cuddle and a kiss before he goes to sleep.
i know you feel hurt that he'd rather be watching porn but has it occurred to you that it's because you have pushed him away, far too many times perhaps? cos you mentioned being too tired for us time, that you only want to go to sleep but yet you are hurt when you see him doing this. have you thought that perhaps he doesn't want to disturb you while you're sleeping, he knows you won't entertain him when he does and that he just wanted a 'stress-reliever'? frankly if it was me, i'd be somewhat relieved that my husband chose his hand over some other woman .. i think this is one example of a damned-if-i-do, damned-if-i-don't situation .. if he wakes you up to spend us time, you would likely feel he's being insensitive (waking you up when you're tired) and only approaching you when he wants to get under the covers, if he doesn't wake you and D-I-Y, your feelings are hurt that he doesn't want to spend time with you and think that he prefers porn over you. some guys don't do well with mixed signals .. and so then you would think that he doesn't care when the simpler explanation is that he just doesn't know how to pacify you ..
you only feel this way because you are upset .. it's not the end, try to reclaim this marriage .. make a move and don't be upset if it feels like it's only you who's taking the initiative .. gain your own identity while at the same time, share and work on some common interests ..
believe me, i've gone through most of how you're feeling right now - i don't admit that my relationship is great .. we are only humans .. but we are trying. in fact, last night he remarked that it had been a good day for him and us yesterday since i didn't nag at him once.. hahaha but then he added that the night was still young, and he might still get the chance to annoy me to the heavens. hahahah ..
