Hi,
Jus wanna share with Wat, I had 2 serious r/s. My ex was a perfectionist, superb organizer cum executer - that is his plans were always smooth flowing to the point that even if there is hiccups along the way, plan B,C, D or E will be jus as good. Get this? this is how far he will foresee and plan to prevent ALL possible hiccups. Which I tot it was ridiculous. (when we were together) I tot hiccup was nice but of cos not all the time la.(once in a while doesn’t hurts) but he thinks otherwise . so you can imagine when things really cock up....His temper really fly sky high....
My ex would quarrel with me whenever I jus stay at home resting, tv and net surfing. He would say I have no serious plans and I really dun! cos I enjoy I am doing! He would expects me to do surprise activity for him on weekends as reciprocation which I dun. Do you see my pt? We jus have diff expectation of each other. He cannot understand my way of relaxation and I dun see how every weekend one new surprise would be "surprise" to me.
When I did, as my ex is a superb organizer, what ever plans I have always seems lousier than his ideas , he is very frustrated by it. he would say "is it this again?" " cant U think of better one?" Its really stress to keep up with him. I told him in his face to face facts - no 2 ppl creativity is the same let alone high /low. I admit my creativity sucks in his eyes cos he is too good! But You know what , he stubbornly thinks that I did not try my best = NOT sincere. I AM really hurt by what he thinks of me not seriously commiting to this r/s. And there are many others things which r too much and long to say.
I like doing things together with him but he likes multi tasking instead(efficiency is always on his mind). We ended our 10 year r/s...
My current b/f is opp of my ex. His organizing skills is ok but he allows too many hiccups in ALMOST every plans! Traveling, for example,his time -wasting habits really driving me nuts and he blamed not enough time...and his geographical directions finding really sucks hence whatever we agreed to eat or see before going out of hotel room didnt really quite made it. Zzz... to U right? I am the one who got it right cos he really embarrassed then but by that time he was tired and end up we didnt made it..... I am not angry with him. hmm... ok .pissed for very short moment cos I know he wants to impress me and make me happy and proud of him too. The tot of this melts all my frustration.
When he is at work, He can be so busy tat he only calls me alternate nights or 3 nights later. Reason for not calling me every night - it was 11pm/ 12am or 1am. he could not bear to disturb my sleep cos he knew I had to wake very early (5.30am) unlike him. (he can sleep till rd 10am some times 12noon everyday)and not calling during daytime - he needs to focus..
I was not comfortable with it at first. I felt very insecure with all sort of crazy thinking... thinking dun know where he hang out, maybe date gals, maybe im not important , maybe he is just not into me….. when i feedback to him, he still continue the same cos He feels disturbing someone sleep is inappropriate BUT he kinda "reports" to me what he did at the office, where he go, share all amusing matters if any for past 1/2 nights and day schedule when he didnt call. He will call me too at times when he is really really relaxing for "time out". What do you think?
He like" surprises" too but he is not insisting. He always jokingly tell me "who dun like surprises?!" He works on all weekends hence I stayed up late at night jus to wait for him to accompany me.(I have always sleep early before I knew him) Not all time he will come cos he is too tired at times and when he comes, we spent that few hours with jus TV, sleep, little chat in the morning...almost routine. Offdays , we enjoyed marketing to cook dinner cos he will sleep till at least past 1pm. sometimes movie....
My friends said what boring life i have and sometimes I agreed but I am happy with it based on our working schedules....
We have been like this for abt 1.5 years and we only quarreled less than 5 times(unlike my ex, probably a hundred times!). He will always make a pt to sleep same time with me when he is with me. Say if i sleep earlier than him, he would try rush his bathing time/ stop watching tv/ speed reading newspaper jus to sleep "together" with me.
In a nutshell, We are again ppl with diff thinking, culture, environment and philosophy. What way would made me filled with love may not be his way of showing me his love and vice versa. What good and sweet will it be if he really did exactly to what i want and wished .......robotically? How loving can it be? I would of cos prefer my b/f to so call "improve" by having a little chat with me daily but he is just not this type of guy..."focus" u know. We gals I feel have to stand in their pt of view and support it if it is not wrong logically. We both have diff "eyesight" cos diff "brain and eyeballs" Its almost impossible to see things eye to eye together, Isnt it?
He has not made any demands on me yet. Hehe! Oh! he can be lazy beyond my imagination till i feel like pulling my hair and when he ask me to help out his daily little stuffs like throwing soiled clothes (my bedroom) and soiled socks (always at shoe rack)to basket, Since taking me for granted is not my style, I would say it to him cheekily "ask ur mama." Lol!
