Has anyone come across my situation?

[Keith UK]

My wife is local singaporean, we have been happy dating and being together for 12 years. She got divorced from her husband march 2015. But she still living under the same roof with the ex-husband because of her children! They are young adults now.
We got married 5th Jan 2019. The next day 6th Jan 2019. She went back to living under the same roof with her ex-husband again, we have never lived together since our wedding day. I was shocked, angry, saddened and bitterly hurt inside on why she insisted staying at her own home with her ex instead of new married life with me. I was looking forward to our first day as a married couple, and she has deceived and betrayed me, I trusted her with my life and have always been there for her.
My wife did not say word or anything about this type of arrangment. She has not told her friends, work colleagues or not even tell her ex-husband that we are married. It is a very cruel and callous thing to do to someone who I love and care about.
Why all the secrecy? What is she hiding behind closed doors from friends and neighbours? I don't know where to begin, she has destroyed my life in one day. And no one can do anything about it.

 

[Suresh4838]

brother just go n tell her .. I married u as my wife but u are doing this.. if u are not coming to me then I will go n visit the prostitute from now on! since u can't fulfilled your duty as a wife.. I rather pay to my daily wives!! I meant it..
then you are the difference... no woman want to share the bed to other woman.. so try bro but don't go real please to those places ... wish you all the best

 

[Dit Nami]

why you wastin your life with her? that aint marriage la~

 

[misspighead]

yea... u can ask her why is she still going stay with the ex husband.. if her answer are cos of the kid... than i think u can annul this marriage la...

 

[GreatScotch]

can i clarify that you've been dating her for 12 years, since 2007? while she only divorced in 2015? so the 8 years while she was still married to her ex, she also dated you? any idea why?

Your question is very valid. I was about to ask the same question too. Too many red flags and the TS seems too blinded to notice the elephant in the room.

 

[Keith UK]

All I can say is when my wife is with me she is very happy. But once she is in her own home with her ex-husband It's a different story. What I can see is it's all about their HDB flat. Why haven't they sold it since their divorce in 2015? Why hasn't she informed HDB about her new marital status? Why has she not told her ex-husband she's remarried? Why HDB has not followed up after I informed them and sent my marriage cert as proof that I am the new husband? I am not eligable to buy a flat because she co-owns 50% of the flat with her ex-husband and 2nd reason we are married. How is this fair?

 

[Sillywomen]

are you just on paper her husband and in fact she still much in love with her ex.
honestly you should observe how is her behaviour when she is with her ex. are they lovely or intimate

 

[Keith UK]

I have observed her behaviour over the past months. No there is no love or intimacy between her and her ex so far as I know, and he already has a girllfriend.

 

[GreatScotch]

I have observed her behaviour over the past months. No there is no love or intimacy between her and her ex so far as I know, and he already has a girllfriend.

Can't you see the elephant in the room?

 

[Keith UK]

Can you expand that phrase, sorry don't understand what you mean

 

[GreatScotch]

Can you expand that phrase, sorry don't understand what you mean

I am not sure if you are scouting for the obvious answers or plain daft.

1. She is a Singaporean woman protected to the full extent of the Women’s charter. As long as she gets a sucker to marry her, she will be protected for life unless she does something to revoke that.
2. If a woman loves you, she will respect you. If she respects you, she will not stay separately from you, what’s more underneath the same roof as her ex-husband.
3. She was with you for a long time while still married to her ex husband meaning you are having an affair with a woman who does not feel anything for her own sense of responsibility.
4. She has reserved the information of her new marital status which perverse the norms unless she has something to hold back before she releases the news at the right time or prevents someone from finding out something to stop her from acquiring something. Eg. Maintenance; She is taking free money from her ex-husband while she holds you at ransom for contingency in case he finds out and applies to not pay for maintenance.
5. Her children are young adults therefore they no longer qualify as excuses for her to move out and to where she needs to belong.

Red flags are everywhere, you blind simpleton! Either you choose to ignore them or you simply are as I said, a blind simpleton.
What a muppet

 

[Keith UK]

Thank you for your thoughts, I only came to singapore to start a new life, and I don't really know the laws here, elsewhere else it's equal rights for men ans women. I thought marriage was going to be a good thing but turned out into a nightmare for me. You are right i am a muppet and a stupid idiot to believe my wife.

 

[GreatScotch]

Thank you for your thoughts, I only came to singapore to start a new life, and I don't really know the laws here, elsewhere else it's equal rights for men ans women. I thought marriage was going to be a good thing but turned out into a nightmare for me. You are right i am a muppet and a stupid idiot to believe my wife.

You have grossly misunderstood the legal landscape here if you believe that there's equal rights between men and women. The women's charter is an unfairly powerful tool that held me ransom for years while my ex wife searches for a bf while being married to me.

 

[Keith UK]

Well unfortunate for me I don't understand the laws here, it sounds very unfair to the men. But where I live in England and in a fair world it's equal rights for men and women. Yes your right I am being held hostage which should never ever happen. If the womans charter is so powerful, it should be used on a case by case basis and not a one sided affair, because that means they actually condone this type of behaviour which is unjust. But I will continue to fight on to get some sort of solution one way or another because there is always a way.

 

[ckgal]

anyway u cant divorced as your marriage is less than 2 years

 

[Lostsheepj]

One question, are you rich? If you aren't, she might been living with her ex hubby. It has become habitual. Otherwise, she must be too selfish to give up either of you.

What I can advise you is to ask her straight on the face and if it isn't logical. You seriously need to question yourself.

 

[Keith UK]

Answer to your question? Not rich, neither is her ex husband. What I believe is that she won't sell their hdb flat because its something to do with their cpf contributions which came up in a conversation.
That still doesn't make it right she is living with her ex and that I am unable to rent or buy a hdb flat that she co-owns with her ex husband and that we are legally married.

 

[Lostsheepj]

Answer to your question? Not rich, neither is her ex husband. What I believe is that she won't sell their hdb flat because its something to do with their cpf contributions which came up in a conversation.
That still doesn't make it right she is living with her ex and that I am unable to rent or buy a hdb flat that she co-owns with her ex husband and that we are legally married.

If they were to sell their HDB and their CPF account does not reach the maximum amount. Upon the sale of the flat, any money contributed by CPF will be returned as per the original source of contribution. I can only see the reason being her doesn't want to give up on any of the guys in her life or because of her kids

 

[FineGuy]

Oh my, it's really complicated, if not all love conquers all but sometimes we really need to think and think again. You still young you can still change it. good luck!