"Guo Da Li (过大礼)" ??

trihok

New Member
Hi girls,
can anyone explain to me what is guo da li? is it "ti qin" from the groom?

my wedding is half year away, which is June02. when shall my hubby or MIL "ti qin" to my family? and what shall my mother do?
 


linda

New Member
Actually guo da li in the ancient times means the groom side will sent all the wedding gifts to bride's side. And supposedly bride and groom cannot meet.
Groom will bring gifts which are requested by the bride's side like cakes, pig's legs, red cloth, etc depending on the dialect group. And bride's side will return him some gifts too.

"Ti Qin" is his parents go to your parents to officially ask for your hand in marriage. If your parents are agreeable, then details of the wedding (including when is the guo da li and what is the gifts involved in the guo da li) will be discussed.
 
J

jeseric

Guest
Hi Linda,

Hah? Groom & Bride cannot meet ah? But wat about now? Cos I think I'll be involved too for Guo Da Li. Is it ok?
 

jojo

New Member
Hi Hi....

Errr....I went back to my mum's place before Guo Da Li but I still met my hubby leh.
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we are not so pang tan lah...
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Accordingly....we simplified alot of things and replaced the items mainly with ang pows. The only things which we didn't forgo was the bottles of hard liquor...a basket of oranges and cakes.
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It is best to check with your In laws what is required. Then get both sides to agree on something.

I hope I was able to help.
 

trihok

New Member
Halo,

cannot meet
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?? current is staying together, then how??

what is the best time to "ti qin" /guo da li?? 3 mth before wedding or.....
 

jojo

New Member
Trihok,

Normally is a few weeks before the customary wedding. I had mine like 3 weeks before the customary.

I met with my hubby leh...I left his place in the morning to go back to my mum's place. I guess it depends on how "pang tan" your family is.
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linda

New Member
Hihi
Ancient times people no meet....Nowadays like trihok staying together liao, how not to dun meet??? KEkekekekke.....I think no need ti qin...most people only guo da li. I will do mine 2 to 3 weeks before wedding cos that's when I (or rather groom) will pass my mum all the cakes, wedding cards etc for her to distribute to relatives. So must have enough time lor.

Yes, I agree it depends on how pang tan is your family and yourself.
 
C

carie

Guest
Jojo,

Can I ask you: What kinda of items you replaced with angpows. And how much ang pow to give? Also how many oranges?

Thanks for your help.
 

jojo

New Member
Hi Carie....

I am a Cantonese...so the things may differ. Depends on which dialect group you belong to. My hubby came with a basketful of oranges...didn't exactly count how many...but must be in even numbers...(excluding the number 4...since it denotes "die" in cantonese)...then he came with 2 bottles of hard liqour...1 bottle of Henessy VSOP...another bottle of XO...then there was 3 packets of ang pow...one for the chicken and roast pork...one for "shoe gold"....another one for "cap gold"....the "cap gold" is like the dowry...then 2 boxes of cakes. We simplified alot of things since most of the cost is beared by the both of us.
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As to how much to give in ang pows...you gotta discuss it with your parents and your wife/husband to be.
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It really depends on what the inlaws want from each other. Like I said...ours was a very simplified version.

Hope I was able to help!
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C

carie

Guest
Hi Jojo,

I'm cantonese too. But my hubby's side is Hokkien. I'm confused as to which side gives what. My hubby is just bringing an ang pow to represent the dowry (since we can't take liquor across the border). My MIL said we have to give them back a portion of the dowry and oranges. She also mention red packets for 'shoes'?? This is the stuff the bride's family gives to the groom's family? How much do I need to put in the packet for 'shoes'? I have absolutely no idea.

Thank so much.
 

jojo

New Member
Carie....

Like I mentioned earlier....I asked my MIL how much money to put then she told us and we followed accordingly. I think we gave $26 for the "shoes".
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worry

New Member
hi,

should the guo da li happen before the actual day ? how come some of my friends carry the pig, liquor and oranges on the actual day itself
 

jojo

New Member
Hi worry...

By right...I think the Guo Da Li should happen before the wedding day. From what I know...most of my frens...in fact all of my frens have the guo da li a few weeks prior to their actual wedding day.
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linda

New Member
For me, my hubby will bring the roast pig on the actual day with oranges. Mum will chop off middle section of pig and replace the part with a pair of pant my mum bought for my hubby wrapped in plastic. Symbolises "Da Fu Da Gui" in cantonese.
Liquor and 'brother's shoes' (this can be in form of angpow with the word "Shoe" written outside angpow) and cakes will bring during Guo Da Li so that my mum can bring the cakes to relatives when she distribute the invites. We will also exchange marriage candles on this day. Hubby will bring a pair of "long" candles and Mum will pass him a pair "feng" candles to bring back.
 

sweety

New Member
Hi

The guo da li is exchanging betrothal gifts ( This is the promise of marraige, today we call it engagement), like JoJo mentioned, usually happens 2 weeks before the wedding ceremony (actual day). Cakes given by the groom at this time, are then delivered to all the bride's relatives together with invitations to announce the coming wedding event.(now can get bangawan solo cake vouchers) There are many, many items... my mother cannot even remember all....No roast pig given here, only Big piece of whole RAW pig leg, also suppose to chop portions to give relatives. I have opted to have a big slab of roast pork instead ....for obvious reasons!!! Some bride's mothers ask for 6-12 tin cans of pork leg (ma ling brand)

On the wedding ceremony day, after the tea ceremony at groom's place, will go back to bride's place,( olden days, this happens 3 days later) that's when he brings the roast pig. This is to signify that the groom's family is very pleased with the bride.
 

jojo

New Member
Yup Yup...

On the actual day....hubby will bring me a roast pig...then my mum will chop off the middle section and replace with a pair of pants for my hubby.
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beibei

New Member
Hello!

I am troubled with wedding gown on 25/8/02 with Bridal Zone.
and seating arrangement for my 400guests
can anyone guide me on Hainanese custom to let me abide??

thanks! :p
beibei
 

jenjen

Active Member
Hi beibei, nice to know another Bridal Zone bride... why are u troubled with ur gown?? Unfortunately I'm not Hainanese... but you can check out the Bridal Zone thread if you are interested...
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We are having a gathering tomorrow...
 

piglet

New Member
hi,
i've got a qn. my FH is a cantonese n im a teochew. Do cantonese carry the betrothal gifts in a basket do the bride's place?
 

piglet

New Member
hi Orchid,

Thanks !! coz i hear my hubby's aunt mentioning that they do not hv baskets ... i was like "huh? don't hv?"

thank you once again ...
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shook

New Member
Hihi Orchid

If gou da li is 2 weeks b4 actual day, is there sufficient time 4 my parents to get their guests to RSVP?
 

orchid

New Member
Hi Shook,

We got around the rsvp thing by giving out the invitations to our friends & parents' friensd before the 'guo da li'.

Then my parents told our relatives (over phone) the date of the wedding & asked if they could make it, at the same time asked them to come collect their cakes & wedding invites on the 'guo da li' day.
 

shook

New Member
Hihi Orchid

Thx. I will tell my mum wat u pratised. She is worried dat there is no time 4 RSVP if she gets the invitation cards n cakes on guo da li which my MIL chose to b 10 days b4 my actual wedding date
 
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joy2003

Guest
Hi,

Does anyone has recommendation for bakery shop for Guo Da Li? Will be having my Guo Da Li in March, now sourcing for bakery shop. I know Bengawan has it. Apart from this shop, any other recommendations?

Thanks!
 

maya

New Member
Hi, is it true that the FH family shld give items according to the dialect of the Wife family or according to his family? I'm cantonese too and my mom already stating what she wants which follows cantonese tradition. But FH not sure if it shld follow his dialect instd.

I didn't see any of the cantonese brides family above asking for the 4 types of seafood? that's what my mom is asking for (abalone, scallops, msuhroom, oyster). She's also asking for XX cakes, oranges (8-12), dowry ($$ -which she says she will return some) and no. of dinner tables (10 - is this the norm?). Anything left out?

But she never talked abt the roast pig on actual day which I see mentioned here. What else to bring on actual day? Can someone advice?

Also, where cn I get those red chinese lettering "xi" to decorate these guodali items?
 

orchid

New Member
Hi maya,

Normally the FH must give whatever your mom ask for regardless of dialect. if there's something his family wants, they must let you know.

Cantonese are very particular about roast pig. you better ask your mom if she left out the pig. sometimes you can represent with the canned pig trotters.

You can get the 'xi' stickers from Chinatown. Lucky Chinatown 3rd flr, there's a chinese stationery shop that sells these. several stall at the market at Smith street (1st flr) also sells.
 

rain

New Member
hi,joy2003 maybe you like to consider Choz Confectionery?I've ordered the 'precious moments' set for my Guo Da Li.My relatives commented that both the packaging & cakes very nice.You can visit the website http://www.chozconfectionery.com
They provide delivery too.

hi maya,
I'm also a cantonese bride.I remembered my parents also asked for 2 bottles of wines.Then the bride family will return 2 bottles of orange juice in exchange for Guo Da Li.On my actual day,my hubby brought the roast pig to my house.The middle portion is cut & distributed to relatives,then the rest has to be returned with a pair of pants in the middle.Coz in cantonese,pants means 'wealth' If not,it can be replaced by a red packet.Not forgeting a basket of oranges.

My mum bought those stickers from neighbourhood store that sells joss-sticks.very funny right?
 

joanne

New Member
hi joy2003
yes i heard of yiling as well. i heard both yiling and this chozconfectionary are both very nice as well. but i tried to save trouble tasting all, so i just got the one from bengawa solo.. which is quite nice.

regd
joanne
 

maya

New Member
Hi joanne, do you know if yiling does vouchers instd? I'm thinking of giving out vouchers instd of delivering the boxes to relatives.

Ladies, any other recommendations? Choz looks gd but a bit ex. I'm looking for those who can issue vouchers. I heard Bengawan Solo issue vouchers? How much are their cakes?
 
H

hos

Guest
Hi Ladies,

Anyone knows where we can get nice and cheap stuff for guo da li? ag. tea set, bedside lamp, 'xi' characters etc etc?

Thanks!
 

angelia

New Member
u can try Beauty World @ Bt Timah, or a shop @ Jurong West, or Chinatown Market. But pls avoid the shop @ Chinatown Market which is behind/opp CK, cos i find her stuff more expensive.
 

orchid

New Member
Hi Hos,

you can get the tea set from Tangs. they have pretty nice ones - $16 per set (tea pot, 4 little cups, serving plate)

my friend used a pair of tea-light lamp stand from Lim's as the bedside lamp so that it can go with the decor in the house & used more often than the red traditional one. her mom said don't need the traditional one.
 

bear

New Member
What to get for an chuang ah ?


I doing it on Monday but my new mattress wld only be arrive at end feb

In this case, is it considered An chuang already as the furniture is in early ?

Or it is considered when we scattered the " thingies ? "

last question : where to get those an chuang things ? at bukit timah ? they have ?
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pausini

New Member
BEAR,

to me "An Chuang" is the whole set with mattress, bedframe (can be there early), bedsheets, pillows etc.
 

bear

New Member
ok..

But i think must get some red dates to scatter.... this lah, that lah

oh god....

Thanks pausini
 

evelyn

New Member
Hi all

May I know where should we paste the Shuang Xi sticker?? is it applicable on any items related to wedding??
thanks
 

bear

New Member
hee hee, i think i will paste everywhere

including the two bed room lamps, mirror, main door....

haha..... hubby;s face ??!!
 

vin

New Member
HI Bear,

Like you, I pass anywhere of my room...
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including the toilet bowl... kekek... actually is my friend who do it for me, turn up very nice...

YOu can get those wedding stuff from the shop that angelia mention. Yeah, try to avoid the shop which she mention at chinatown market.. the price there a bit expensive.

I bought some from Singapore and some from Malaysia as am Malaysian, and the price is the same..just currency diff....
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Just buy those stuff require by both side parents, dun anyhow listen to the shopkeeper tell you, else you will buy more extra in the end of the day.

Happy shopping.
 

oso32

New Member
Hi,

Would like to check if anyone has the address of the shop at Jurong West where we can buy guo-da-li stuff? Staying in the west and think it's more convenient to go to this shop. Thanks alot
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