it's not up to parents to decide if they need to attend or not. it depends on ur in-law's grandparents whether they're inviting ur parents. usually, formality sake, they will invite the bride's parents with an invitation card.
i'm hakka, customs very similar to cantonese, and my hubby is hokkien. you may refer to my messages posted earlier in this thread..starting frm end-july.
May I know if it is necessary to appoint a feng shui master to choose the date for Guo Da Li? Cos my wedding date next year is early part of 8th month ... so was thinking that its quite impossible for me to have the Guo Da Li to be 2 weeks before the week liao .... not sure if I can just decide on a practical date =)
ti ching is when the groom together with an elder come to the gal's place to ask for the hands in marriage (a formal practice la ... sometimes can do away with it .. depends on the parents). this is the time when actually the GDL items are being stated and negotiated also.
guo da li is the day when the items actually exchg hands.
i havent gone thru this part yet. we are doing away with the ti ching part. i'm the middle gal betwn both sides and so far, my FMIL states tat i just let them know wat the gal's side wants. and if there's any thing, we'll communicate thru the phone. anyway, they will hv the chance to meet formally ... which is on our ROM date.
Opps! I thought it's the same thing. Sorry Evon. If that's the case, i actually arrange both parents meet for food tasting 2 months ago to discuss what are the things, pin jin etc to prepare. I didn't realise it's some form of 'ti ching' then.
very detailed.. wow.. i didn't know there's so many items involved.. i see until my head got giddy and i dun even understand wat each item is for! cos for me.. my mum said that she dun wan any suckling pig etc.. just want some cakes to give to relatives... and maybe some red toiletries... hehe
thk u so much...so many mths or weeks before the customary? aiyo..my mum kept asking ppl and my neighbour told my mum ti ching must be one yr in adv..and my hubby said 2 weeks before...dunno who is rite...
so does it mean once both my hubby and me fixed the date just let both parents know and we can go ahead and book the venue?
ohh...i didnt expect to go thru customary so fast if not i will surely ask them do it during my rom...
it's ok no problem...no one will know until one gets marry...
Ti Qing is no longer the "in" thing now. Most couples skip this process. But my mil insist to have one matchmaker coming over to my place for formality. U will be surprised that not everything is stated properly even when there is ti qing. Parents will sometimes add on and on to the list of items nearer to the guo da li date. This is normal
ti qing one year in advance??? Mine is only around 2-3 mths in advance of guo da li.. which means around 3-4 mths before actual day.. keke... anyway if u meet 1 yr in advance, everything may still change when the date draws near.. kekeee..
Ohhh i see, so u have not booked a date for customary? One of my friends went sourcing for hotels in advance despite tongshu not even out that time. Then he is frank lor and told hotel management that he is not able to commit a date but nonetheless he still leave his name there. Until recently then he finalise with one hotel and will be having wedding on new year's day
1) Can I decide on the GDL thingy with my mum? My hubby is working overseas and will only fly back one week before the customary and his parents are staying overseas too and will not be here for our customary as they are too old to travel.
2)Can I ask a friend to bring the GDL thingy to my mum on behalf of my hubby? Must this friend be a married woman or single woman also can?
I'm a cantonese while my hubby is Hainanese.I have no idea what the cantonese tradition going to be, what more about Hainanese! *heehee* I need you girls to help me especially for those who have went thro it! Thanks! Cheers!!!
ya ya .. i agree with kerenelu. best to let the elders decide on the GDL stuffs. personally, this step is for them so we chose to follow as a form of respect lor. the only time when we 'youngsters' step in to decide is when there is a conflict or when there are no other elders who can make a firm decision.
my GDL items v simple. my MIL wants GDL to be as simplified as possible. for my side,i hv less things to buy not like last time..but basic items like oranges, orange juice, towels still remain.
best to ask both parents what to buy.
yr mum shld tell them hw many tables she wan during ti qin and if not agreeable, yr hubby side can negotiate with her. set a date where both side are present to tok abt all these things. it wil be better to tok and discuss.