Go on, or not to go on? HELP!!

[ferrensabelle]

The reason back then y i had patched was bcos he seemed changed. But that was in the past. And by patching back, it means im willing to move forward and put the past in the past. Whether i can deal with when he cheats on me again? I will break off and end it once and for all if he does that. Yes i will.

But currently bcos recent incidents are happening. I wonder if these are signals as well? Or am i over thinking?

 

[its_fate]

???????????????????????????????????????????? I think my English is failing me,,,,,,,,, I dun understand at all..............

 

[sgbabydoll]

Recent incident - The SMS exchange with his secondary schoolmate about finding true love?

 

[ferrensabelle]

so i wasnt over reacting or over thinking about that, right? In terms of r/s, this should not happen right?

 

[ferrensabelle]

after having patched up last year..all the efforts and lovely in this one year, why would he want to do all these rubbish to me then?

: really speechless and sad and crying while im typing these right now.

....god save me.

 

[miloice]

Save yourself, don't depend on others. Wake up.

 

[sgbabydoll]

If those SMSes already gave you an unsettling feeling, do you still need a fortune teller to tell you what you already know? Are you afraid to make a judgement yourself and take responsibility of your decision, so much so you need to "outsource" that decision? Hey, it's your life you know? You can't stay on the sideline.

 

[ferrensabelle]

i think maybe ur right doLL. Perhaps the fact is that im scared to make a judgement..scared to make a wrong judgement. The fact that personally i do think alot about things and sometimes overly so, and in the wrong directions. So im scared to make the wrong decision and bam! that's it. I made a mistake cos of misjudgement.

 

[miloice]

taking no decision is a decision. Time is ticking. Fearing decision taking is the foolish reason for dragging.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Ferren, I'd rather you talk to your close friends for their honest opinion and guidance.

 

[ferrensabelle]

i will not leave the results based on ft. ive talked to friends as well. some saying i may have thought too much. some saying similar things like here.

no matter what. ive booked the ft n i'll jus go listen tmr. no harm.

in the meantime, ive some ideas on my mind but some are childish. to rid the clothes that he had promised me to (cos remind me of his past). to text the girl that he will be getting married next year. =/

also, i will also try to prepare myself to get ready for a breakup. collect my stuffs back from his place. at least when the decision is made, ive nothing left there to collect already.

while i was typing the above, my heart hesitated for abit. i must not deny that i still love him and still pin onto that hope that i may be wrong. im hoping that all these things are me over reacting. But no matter what, i will still try to prep myself for the worse.

 

[sgbabydoll]

You can make him do this and that, and you will feel good temporarily when he does as you wish. But how long can this go on before one of you or both you get sick and tired of each other? Ultimately, you still need to face and manage your own sense of insecurity. Are you able to do that? If not, even if he is clean you will still be plagued by your own sense of insecurity.

It's tiring to be with an insecure partner because you have to live your own life plus his/her life trying to do things to please him/her, especially if you have moved on from feeling guilty (if you are the cheating party) and are clean.

I am not saying that you don't have reasons to feel insecure, after all, he has cheated thrice in slightly over two years. But you need to ask yourself, can you manage your own sense of insecurity being with him? Yes, good. No, you may have to leave the source of your insecurity?

 

[powder]

Ferren, what no harm? Lotsa harm!

particularly for u it's lotsa harm... if i listen i'll say no harm becos it'll be really for fun. but i dun get the 'for fun' or 'no harm' vibes from u. in fact i think u'll use that to do more and think more unnecessary.

i'm not sure wat to say except that u perhaps feel that u have no better choice of bfrens for now, Yet u wanna be like those power girls (except u not strong enough to be that power) and try to control your destiny, yet u can't becos u'll still push the decision to someone else.

u have to come to terms with your strong and weak points, the way i see it, u're a little lamb trying to be a tiger BUT u want the zebra to make the decision for u.

 

[wjchiang]

and then she'll start to dwell on a long hard decision whether the zebra is black with white stripes or white with black stripes ;p

 

[duckyholic]

only you can feel in your heart how much you meant to your bf and how he treat you on a day to day basis .....

if you are prepared to leave and lose him, by all means.. check all you can

but if you are not prepareed to lose him be it emotionally or mentally, just keep 1 eye closed.......

really no point in a relationship when u need to check n check n check ...either u stay or go only


people nowadays irregardless of man or woman can really separate love and sex...

when i m attached, sometime i also tell pp i m single as well, no reason, just to stop pp i dun really know well to keep asking questions sometime, or to explain things ..

i tink you are really getting too sensitive

 

[its_fate]

?? The more I read, the more confused I become...

Wht do U still dwelling over a PAST R/S and make yourself so miserable?? U mentioned about this "childish" act to "text the girl that he will be getting married next year".. So terrible!!

Just let go lah... He will be getting married.. so why U wanna be a "destroyer"... Don't ever hope that if he were to break off with the wife-to-be and patched back with U......

 

[alcifertoh]

Iris, I think TS meant to get her BF to go and message the ex school classmate to tell her that he will be getting married with TS next year.

1 thing. If it's miserable with him, why still stay with him? When you are thrown with miseries that's out of your capacity to handle or looking for and being paranoid over daily life living on the line of betrayal?

You go to fortune teller and I'm sure you'll be validated by what he/she says. You need to live and make your life decisions than letting others charter for you.

Do you know what you want in life/relationship?
Are you getting it and making your own decisions?

There is no sure thing in life. Everything you have to take risk. No one can come and tell you "no worries". I gaurentee you.

Previously the PI shown you the facts. You taken it. Then you decided to forgive. Now you are back. But it's the FT this time round. So let's say that the FT said it's okie and what you gonna do? Head for the FT advice? Then whats next if it screws up again? Some Medium asking you to burn talisman into his drinks?

You deemed relationships to be judged by fortune/horoscope/devine intervention? How much validity can you find in the FT words? What's your role and responsibility to yourself? Is he your BF that can give you the assurance?

His advice would just be as good as you tossing a coin now.

 

[soontobe]

hmm..wat's wrong with relationship nowadays? sigh..can't we learn to trust each other a bit more?

If u wan this r/s, don't go to that FS thingy. Wat is that FS master said u are perfect match for each other, are u going to ROM with him immediately despite ur insecurity?

 

[alcifertoh]

It's more on how people are handling relationship and in this case, is TS looking to swollow a slice larger than she can.

 

[its_fate]

HBH - Paisay,, Wa sibeh confused with this whole story... * tiam tiam sit one corner and read*

Why let others "manipulate" the life which one can be in control??

I want to go 4 Horse Road liao.... mind-freeze... cannot read properly...

 

[alcifertoh]

If FT so eh sai they would not need to work. Just calculate for self or each other then sit there and shake leg. You will be able to use the Lou Pan (Chinese Compass) walk on the street and it will direct you to your destiny.

 

[its_fate]

HBH - Oei... U dun see those FT no up ok.... "Tian Ji Bu Neng Xie Lo"....

 

[ferrensabelle]

I'm considering another option. Tell him to lets end this r/s. He may of cos, tell me tis-tat. I'll suggest time away from each other. Meanwhile i can think thru and make decision thereafter?

 

[alcifertoh]

Iris, not that I discredit them. I do go to them as well and listen to what they say with a pitch of salt. More than often on the parts which they told me I should watch my health which I am guilty of it for not sticking to a healthy regime. Or those other trivias for fun reference that's not harming or requiring serious considerations.

Other than that, "advices" telling me a windfall is coming must keep buying 4D, what career to choice, when must get married, what kind of horoscope to pick for wife, what horoscope children clash with me blah blah blah, I just let it slide.

If you go them must at least know what to note and what to just turn a deaf ear to and not following blindly. The Tian Ji Bu Ke Xie Lo is just excuses lah. After you consult them then you draft out a contract and ask them to commit you see if they would.

 

[mark78]

HBH, last time i get to know this "part time" FT, he also tell me to exercise leh. its like a common advice leh. Fyi, he must be seeing me "fair fair" with snow like skin and think never exercise but i SWIM at nite and rollerblade under the moon loh for hours loh.. where got no exercise.. Don listen to them.. listen to me lah

HBH my advice for u.. Watch your $.
Don put your $ into bank to depreciate nor property or other complex financial products/ investment. Give it to me and i will pay Skylar for sashimi dance.

 

[sgbabydoll]

"I'm considering another option. Tell him to lets end this r/s. He may of cos, tell me tis-tat. I'll suggest time away from each other. Meanwhile i can think thru and make decision thereafter?"

By all means!

 

[sheezh]

From what I'm reading, the TS simply just want us to tell her that she is thinking too much. Going to the FT is also to validate that she should stay with the bf. She wants to stay with him from all angles, but just need the feel good factor to justify the so called decision, without making her own decision.

TS, What happens if the FT says that he is cheating on you? Will you not believe it and go to another FT to tell you otherwise??

 

[sheezh]

Doll,

I might be wrong but actually I read this sentence as "I'm considering another option. Tell him to lets end this r/s. He may of cos, tell me tis-tat. I'll suggest time away from each other. Meanwhile i can think thru and make decision thereafter?"

as

She wanted suggust a breakup but worried that he will simply agree. --> a ultimate to scare..?? She just wanted time away from him to think, but she will still go back to the relationship and the circle will cont. Otherwise she can simply walk away, why still have a time out and think to make a decision. Usually this kind of timeout, nothing gets done but back to square one.

 

[ferrensabelle]

sheezh, no i wont go the another FT even if he says that.

journey of thousand miles begin with a single step. i hope that step forward will help in encouraging me to continue forward, ba.

like milo said, taking no decision is a decision. so instead of no decision, i hope this means something..

 

[skylar]

Mark!!

WTH.. me again.. kaoz.. since when u become my "Jing Ji Ren" for my sashimi dance ah.. zzz..

TS,
ur FT session is today.. man.. I m very curious what ur FT will tell u.. can share share with us??

 

[sgbabydoll]

Ferren, if you want a break-up, do it; if you want time-off, do it; if you want to continue with the relationship, do it. Do anything because you want to, instead of evoking a desired response or action from him because that would be a kind of mind game that is never ending.

 

[its_fate]

Sounds contradicting... I too have this thinking that U will go find another to tell U what U want to hear... From PI (wz concrete evidence) to FT (duno "zhun" not) to...................

U don't even have to go to the INITIAL FT to validate.. What are U trying to show?

HBH - Me will go 4 Horse Road to pray pray.. Only saw 01 FT when I in HongKong (near Temple Street).. dun really understand him coz my Cantonese sucks... wahahahaha.......

 

[alcifertoh]

I feel TS can save the time to visit the FT and start reflecting over the whole relationship. Don't bother to waste time waste money.

Iris... I think the HKG FT said HO CHAM AH Ma Lao Loi.... Then keep shaking the head right?

 

[mark78]

HO CHAM AH Ma Lao Loi ei.. what is this

 

[sgbabydoll]

Sheezh, I am guessing that Ferren prefers to be in a reactionary position maybe because she doesn't trust her own judgement anymore. It's sad when you can't even trust yourself. Self-doubt is a primary reason why people feel insecure.

 

[simpleman]

if you want to see fortune teller.. might as well talk to me..

I don't charge a cent.. ha ha ha

 

[sgbabydoll]

SM, your kind of fortune telling is the "sian" girls type lah haha

 

[ferrensabelle]

ive decided. breakup is the way to go.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Ferren, how come all of a sudden you become so decisive? Were you inspired by FT's reading? By initiating a break-up, are you trying to see if he makes efforts to patch up with you? Hope not so.

 

[ferrensabelle]

actually before i go ft, i was thinking what will be my decision be without the ft (thanks to the "reminders" with regards to ft). and decision was what i had in mind earlier on..the one i posted here.

i keep telling myself that i duwana go through the checking n checking n suspicious time..

thereafter, ok. i dun deny it influenced/referenced the ft. the points ft mentioned was actually it is still ok albeit not an ideal or comitted one.

so...yah. i oso dun deny that i still feel opposite sometimes, trying hard to curb that.

 

[ckgal]

don't waste money to look for ft.

DIY, toss a coin and all your questions will be answered.

 

[alcifertoh]

Don't quite get you. So what is your decision now?

 

[skylar]

HBH,
u blind ah..

she say breakup is the way to go wor...
so its means BREAKUP!!!
even w/o gg to the FT I hope...

unless she is still pinning on any tiny hopes that they can still contd together..

TS,
what makes u suddenly wake up ah??

HBH,
hearsay BLIND FT makes more $$$ leh.. at no horse run road.. coz they looks more poor thing ma.. eh.. rmb to set up ur stall far far away from Mark's hor..

 

[alcifertoh]

I think what TS need to do now is to totally detach herself away from everything. Be a hermit for a while and mix around with friends before having any thoughts.

Skylar, I dun need stall one. Nowdays everything online liao. I can tell u your fortune over email or phone don't even need to see you.

Sey lah... Ho Cham Ah... Lei Ho Cham Ah~~

 

[skylar]

HBH!!

Sai lor u.. dun need to see me?? dun need to feel my snow skin palm?? dun need to touch my tofu skin smooth bones??? then how the hell u be FT..

Lei.. Hoi.. Sey.. Baa.... Lahhh...... Lei...

 

[its_fate]

HBH - wahahahha... U machiam "ghost" crying leh.........

 

[alcifertoh]

No. I am not those Tiko fortune tellers who has to touch you to tell your fortune or ask u to strip to change your luck. Why? you always went to those ah?

Iris, the reading is that bad to sound like that haha.

 

[mark78]

Last time there as a FT told my ex mil, how come your daughter got a china bf pointing at me..

I was wTf wtf... china bf.. who me? OMG... he is speaking in hokkien.. sigh...

skylar i will give it a miss ppl think i am those from mainland coming here to pian lao auntie de... sigh

 

[its_fate]

skylar - *fainted*.. why people believe in "touching fortune telling"?? So naive.. hiazzz...

 

[mark78]

skylar omg... u tried those before letting them touch your snow skin?.... wow......