Gg to marry without parents' blessing...sad...

holiday_ger

New Member
powder, wat i said is based on wat i read. juz like the 7pm korean show on channel U. everybody will pity the 19 yr old girl and tink the rich guy's parents are bad. tat's the impression i get from purely reading her postings. btw somebody mentioned "Black Sheep" above. hmm, maybe it's nt referring to her parents.

i wonder wat will happen if her sis stumbled on this thread and tell her parents wat she has been telling others behind their back??

but i tink she will say "mayb i m really a coward, instead of confronting her, i can oli vent my anger by telling my frens n posting here..."

laundry woes, i hv been on both sides of the fence, fyi.
 


powder

Active Member
Ger,

u're not as smart and wise as u think u are. i dun watch korean dramas so i can't relate the show u mentioned, but Your impression might be misconstrued thru the episodes going on in your life. u can be on all sides of the fence and still be shallow. doesn't make u world-wary and wise.

If u find yourself a generally unhappy person and often overly-agitated/concerened by the choices of pple around u, then u should start to look at yourself. u Have a problem. your problem is ignoring your own and trying to live other pple's problem... u chase after real-life Drama and try to influence them to force the storyline of your choice., becos u Need to.

this part shows how shallow u are - "i wonder wat will happen if her sis stumbled on this thread and tell her parents wat she has been telling others behind their back??"

this is so auntie a statement i dun even know where to begin. and u are assuming that her primary forcus seems to be some sort of bitching/gossipy thread abt her parents. there may be exerpts where she could have handled better, but MY INTERPRETATION has always been one where she is seeking for ways to handle this problem. if it transpired to a parent-bitching 'behind-their-back' thread, then let me tell u - That Is Your Poor Interpretation!

to be honest, there's so little substance in your argument that i find it hard to accept your condescending 'i know it all' tone.

how abt i say this, "i wonder wat will happen if YOUR sis stumbled on YOUR thread abt her and see wat YOU have been telling others behind HER back??"

u better be prepared for criticism if u intend to answer me.
 

holiday_ger

New Member
powder,

probably she will see my thread coz she is oso preparing 4 her wedding. i had thought abt it tat's why i highlighted it here. it's not becos i tink i m smarter. so pls dun presume u knw everyting.

i know u juz cannt stand being criticize by others and i knw u won't stop at here .. carry on if u like. to criticise others is ur forte.. u hv highlighted it urself... lol...
 

holiday_ger

New Member
btw powder, if u intend to criticize me, pls make it short and sweet. if the posting is to lengthy, i will only read the 1st and last part.
 

powder

Active Member
your answer to me is good enough to give a huge discount to your thoughts and comprehension ability.

"i know u juz cannt stand being criticize by others and i knw u won't stop at here .. carry on if u like. to criticise others is ur forte.. u hv highlighted it urself... lol..."

abv is a Mirror statement more suited for yourself. i'll be more bothered if it's a debate or rebuttal with reason. but this kind of low level answers and references made to korean dramas... i'm not exactly gonna address.

u obviously think u're smarter cos u have been nothing but condescending, whether in this thread or the other one. u can't receive as much as u dish out either - http://www.singaporebrides.com/forumboard/messages/5/630027.html?1207195031#POST2829581

if u comprehend things wrongly and u're still arguing outta your ass, then it says alot doesn't it? one-track mind... just cos someone says negative things abt her family - u say she Hates her family, and u actually believe the crap coming outta your mouth. wat sort of wisdom is that?
 

holiday_ger

New Member
OMG! u obviously hv nt master the art of criticism in short and sweet sentence.

u need more practice. i cn help u.. carry on to criticise me, i m learning how to take criticism... it won't affect me.
 

holiday_ger

New Member
OMG! i hv moved on since tat time and u r still stuck there? no wonder u start criticising on me the moment u get the chance! .. how old r u liao? lol..
 

laundry_woes

New Member
R u usu tis obnoxious? n how old r u? 5? The fact tat u quote a korean drama to support ur point seriously undermines it. Tis isn't abt u. Get over urself.

Ggoldfish, u can juz discount off 1 person's views.
 

holiday_ger

New Member
by saying the fact is obnoxious? then pls carry on dreaming then..

and both of u obviously cannot emphathise with her parents.. and yet u want her to take ur advice when u urself r clueless to wat is going thru her parent's mind... lol...
 

autumni76

New Member
Ger, I'm the one that said about black sheep.
And it was referring to nobody. Just a general term.

I personally think, I can sort of emphatise with you, with regards to your sister's issue. I would have hit the roof if that happen to my sister.
On the other hand, i feel you're far too extreme in this thread itself.
You seem to be pointing fingers at everyone.

LOL.

Ggoldfish, i wanna cite something - when a mind is overloaded with their own bias, just like a cup full of water. Anything u say, will never go into their head.
You've got to wait unti the water inside evaporate naturally, before the cup can absorb water.
So, do't try so hard on your family members. Let everything take it's natural course.
 

autumni76

New Member
I'm quite hesistant about this part - i remember Ggoldfish saying her family is violent?
hope she don't mean physically.
Anyway, science research show that most women will tend to marry someone who's rather similar to their own father.
Meaning, a woman who's been in the violent upbringing, will tend to fall for a guy, that might turn out violent.

Fortunately, I've seen many many cases, whereby the gals' family are violent, but the gals themselves were able to cut off the violent cycle though counselling, studying up psychology themselves and self-talking etc.

maybe your parents might have sensed a tint of this in your bf... i'm just guessing.
 

powder

Active Member
Ger, something wrong with your head. u are being defensive of her parents as if it were your own... even when it's unnecessary. your emotional baggage is spilling over. u're empathising very unnecessarily.

btw, i have nothing against her parents, and the focus isn't to be against her parents... i dun know how u can be so royally confused as to read the whole thread in such a flavour...

other than your issues being transposed here.
 

holiday_ger

New Member
sunflower, first i muz tell u i m nt flaming u otherwise another "object" will jump out scolding me.. lol..

nxt, when did i point finger at anyone? or rather i tink some "object", dun knw whether intentionally or nt, stepped on my tail first. of course when "object" step on my tail i muz retaliate rite?

wat makes u tink i m extreme? hv u been listening to one sided story or did u try to put urself in the parents shoes when u look at the whole matter? wat i hv written is the fact or rather i tink some ppl here simply refuse to accept the
fact.

is it becoz the reality is cruel, that's why ppl are trying to avoid? if u tink wat i said is harsh, then i tink u do nt understand goldfish situation.

i tink i hv been very objective. based on wat goldfish wrote, she lent money to her dad hoping tat he would accept her bf. but it backfired. and she asked why? is it sincere? tis is only one of those things she wrote here ..

i can't sense her love for her family coz when she did all those things she has other reasons for doing that.

anyway, tats her problem. if she want to dodged the problem, it none of my business too. i m more concern whether anymore daggers and swords will fly at me.. lol
 

rafflesjay

New Member
Goldfish: So how things going? Any improvement? Else better decide and plan for something else.

Anyway is the same case, you care too much of everything ard and not focus enough. For eg, why bother so much abt Ger is mentioning, guess she is just too bored and need something from nothing. Simply ignore her and proceed what you are doing. If you cant even pass tht little Ger, how are you able to handle your family thingy.
 

cua

New Member
hi, Ggoldfih,

Agree with rafflesjay, just ignore Ger's reply and posting in this thread. Agree that some opposition view might help in every issue but hers is definetely too extreme. The more we reply to her, the more she wants to write. Just ignore her.
 

powder

Active Member
Ger, u have a strong inclination to put words into pple's mouth becos of your poor ability to understand. it's either black or white for u, unfortunately this is a grey topic so it might be out of your league here to grasp some basic concepts.

u can definitely tell her off, i'm not stopping u. but when u're totally Off-tangent, have a poor grasp and Barking up the wrong tree... erm, then u're simply making a fool of yourself.

u can't go accusing the world of being redish when u're wearing red glasses.

my goodness, to think u feel so strongly abt things when u have such poor ability to decipher things. u should stop looking at the world thru the eyes of dramas and be more realistic. so dramatic for wat?
 

octo

New Member
Hi Ggoldfish,

Reading from what you posted, I guess you had tried so hard recently that you're both mentally and emotionally drained.

Trying to get your family's acceptance of your bf is fine, but do it on a pace that both sides can accept. Their acceptance might come after 1year, 3years, 6years, 10years or even 20years later. Noone knows this duration, as much as you wished that they will come to accept your decision next year but you need to come to terms that such thing doesn't happen overnight.

I guess you were so emotionally drained that you had that 'venting' post. Honestly speaking, reading that 'venting' post of yours, when you were mentioning your auntie offered to be your witness and had sort-of accepted your bf, your family accepting those stuff from your bf but not reciprocating, how you suspect your father to be faking illness etc etc complains and all.. To me, on the very surface, you seems very unhappy about your family. But deep under, its your immediate family members that really matters to you, otherwise all of that won't be bothering you so much and you won't be trying so hard.

You might want to take it easy and slowly from now onwards. Be at ease and natural. I don't think you need to specifically plan here and there, just be natural, as per other 'normal' couples and be strong to face rejecion. If its mid-autumn, just give them the mooncakes.. yes.. they might throw it away / place outside or whatever.. just be strong to face these rejections. Remember this, you cant control how your family want to think, do or feel about your bf. What you can control is what both of you can do.

About your father's illness, it might be fake / real, no one would be able to answer you on this. But I guess its really meaningless to go head on with him, with or without his illness. Do you know what I mean? So what if his illness is fake? It doesn't change abit about his opinion about your bf, does it? But it tells alot to him when his dear daughter suspect that he is actually faking his illness.

As you had already know when you decided on your guy, this is not going to be an easy path. Always bear in mind of these four ingredients. You might need alot of them to help brewing a nice pot of soup to share with your family:
a)patience
b)determination
c)be strong
d)lastly & most importantly, love (for your guy & family) to go through this long and tiring journey.

Wish you luck!
 

octo

New Member
Hi Ger,

I think you had somehow over-reacted. You seems to have carried your sis's case totally onto this thread. Yes, it might have some relevance on the part that the bf is not accepted by the family BUT these are 2 totally different stories to start off with.

Yes, you have been on the family side before and know how tough it is. But.... every story / case is different. The background and the character of the persons-involved are definitely different as well. You cant be bringing everything intact and tried to push that point of yours here.

By that thread of yours, I didnt read any of those that ggoldfish and her bf did. Or maybe I should be more explicit to make you understand my point;
1) did your sister tried to won you or parents' favour for the guy?
2) did your sis's bf tried his very best to change your family's perception of him?
3) did he bought a laptop for your sister and you used them frequently?
4) did he loan some amount to your family to tide them over some crisis?
5) did he wait for her downstair when she went visiting the relatives?

I cant help to think that you are looking at ggoldfish's bf as 40+, joined a gang, had another malaysia gf outside, and ggoldfish as your sis who had opposed the family to be with her bf?

I think that you should read each thread on a case by case basis and not try to lump all of them together and give 1 standard answer.

Lastly, lets all be mature adults. It means nothing but childishness to refer a forumer as an object.
 

holiday_ger

New Member
Shir,

when someone is nasty to u, will u still show him respect?

i mentioned i hv been objective on goldfish case. i judged based on wat i read.

yes i agree the 2 cases r different but the most impt thing is nt the background of the guy. it's the expectation a parent had for the child. it's how the existence of this guy had influence the child. it's how the existence of this guy had brought misery to the family.

i really wonder will u understand. seems to me none in this thread really understand the root of the problem.

anyway, if u like to hear lies, then ok lor, the family will welcome him with open arms today ... must remember to bring home leh. Happy?
 

clark

New Member
Listen to powder and dun ponder.
If you dun, u will be left to wonder.
If you do, u will have power
 

powder

Active Member
surprised u think u're the only one who understands and is objective, particularly when the understanding has shown otherwise. u're the only one with a comprehension problem here... repeating tat u've read does not make u right, and u're certainly not objective. the only consistency u've shown is your barking up the wrong tree.

all parents have expectations of their children, myself included, what's impt is whether the expectations are reasonable or valid. Lousy pple can be parents, being parents does not mean they are right by virtue of being a parent.

u keep insinuating the unobvious and discounting the obvious. and u refer to incidences u dun agree with as Lies.

are u ggoldfish's sister? are u in need of a sister to control? u can't even argue the points put forth but just go harping on the parents like u know it so well.
 

holiday_ger

New Member
ok.. so i hv been barking up the wrong tree. goldfish has lousy parents with lousy expectation.
so u better listen to powder. i will sit back and watch how many times u will bang the wall listening to him.
 

hope83

New Member
Basically Ger's tunnel vision point is,

"why are you (referring to ggoldfish and Ger's own sister) so selfish. Why did you never think of your own family and for your dad and mum. You bring misery upon all of us because of one guy outside."

Translation is,

"Our happiness lies in your choice of partner. if you chose a partner that we don't approve of, and give us problems, we are not going to be happy, we are going to be miserable and it's all your fault."

Ger reminds me of this phrase.

"When Bob has a problem with everyone, Bob is usually the problem". Replace Bob with Ger and you get the idea.

I have yet to see one sane person in this thread who thinks Ger is of sound mind and objective stance.
 

powder

Active Member
that's just it. i'm not even saying she has lousy parents... u're really dumb. i made such a simple statement and your comprehension is so darn clouded by your inability to understand statements.

this is not drama. a topic does not need to have Real pple that we're referring to! why must every sentence have someone for us to equate with... it must be a pain living with u If, for every comment - u must find someone to refer to.

not only are u dumb, u're stubborn and condescending. and u can't even argue with reason. and Yes u have been barking up the wrong tree. dun make it sound like u haven't with a condescending tone.

ps: i can appreciate if u bother to go more in-depth and share why u think this way. but u haven't. all u do is fold your arms and insist she hates and parents and turn the tables on her as if she were the aggressor. can u read instead of jumping to conclusions?
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Ger, it is not a matter of lousy parents or uncaring child. But as a parent, you cannot hold your rein tight when your child is already an adult. You definitely cannot make decisions for them or expect them to make choices centering around you. Parenting style should keep pace with the age of the child.

By the way, you are trying way too hard to win an argument that you never came close to winning because you argue without logic. And, please stop looking at things through the sole perspective of your family situation.
 

alphinsis

New Member
okok everyone.. we shd all reflect on ourselves now, all of us someway or other had opposed against our parents expectations..

we shd now practice to nurture our own children to listen entirely to us. only when hungry/thirsty/poo-poo they r allowed to speak. as when of suitable age, we shall let them out to b mate...


oops! sorry my typing too fast..

to b mate is a general term, not referring to anyone...
 

moonlit

New Member
oh so she is that one who wants to migrate... ya ya, now I remember. no wonder the tone of [written] speech is similar.

been quietly following this thread, I'm not as good at advising people as some of the folks around here. just wanna wish ggoldfish good luck and do keep your chin up.
 

holiday_ger

New Member
it's funny that everyone is venting their anger at me as if it's going to help in her problem.

it's also funny that ppl r commenting on the expectations but not on the misery tat the relationship had brought to the family.

maybe goldfish should show this thread to her parents.. probably they will realise they are the one in the "wrong"..

anyway long ago i already told her nobody cn stop her from marrying the guy. similarly she oso can nt force the parents to bless her.

in any case, if i m the parents, i will be very angry to knw wat she has been telling others. whether they will bless her or nt, i dun knw. but if i were them, i won't.
 

powder

Active Member
"it's funny that everyone is venting their anger at me as if it's going to help in her problem."

u have this 'world-against-me' mentality. gov against u. sister against u. blah blah...

funny, after so long u still think u're the only one who is right. oh well...
 

ggoldfish

New Member
i'm shocked to see all the postings exchanged...my apologies to everyone, including ger,for the chaos created...guess i nt oli did nt managed to solve my problem, i stir up a small storm as well...

ger, i know i m causing distress to my family as well...i did try to resolve bec i thk it is v unfair for my bf as well to ve his pride trampled now n then...last nite, i asked him if it is better tt he move on, hoping tt he will meet someone with a more understanding family, so tt he no longer ve to endure all these humiliation as well...bt it is so, so painful...in the end, both of us cried for v long...we din manage to do it...it is so hard...

i understand some of u may thk tt i m v selfish to assume i m making the right decision for my bf...bt i hope he can live wif his head held high, nt like nw...we cant sense pple's congrats to us when we inform them of our plan to get married...everyone's main concern is more of my parents' reaction...on the surface, we r jux like any couples preparing for the big day...deep inside, both of us really feel lost...mayb we r nt tt courageous enough...

nevertheless, i really appreciate all the comments given n heartfelt thanks to all who ve given me encouragement...i will still post to update of the situation...Hope you all can still give me advice tt i need, or hopefully blessings...thank you...
 

simpleman

Active Member
goldfish,

as I have said. Don't try too hard. Be true to yourself even though your parents may not be happy now.

In time to come, they will come to realize that it is futile to stop you.

As for the storm, no you did not stir up the storm. Ignore the storm and get on with your life.
 

powder

Active Member
ya dun have to push beyond wat u have already done. sometimes human reaction is such - the more u try, the faster u try to get things done - the more resistance u'll face. Murphy's Law perhaps?

there will always be imperfections in life which we cannot immediately make perfect. we'll need patience n understanding. When u go to a gallery and look at the painting hanging on the wall - it might be crooked. some of us will feel this need to wanna adjust it, some of us would tell someone to adjust it... somehow - we just Need to adjust it. we should stop to think if the painting was meant to be crooked... imperfections is what makes life perfect. at least for me.
 

crystal_cloud

New Member
sorry ger, i really second Powder and Laundry Woes in this one.

I feel although this is a grey topic, your words are simply too harsh for anyone like me, like raffles jay to accept your point coz your way of bringing forward the statement is too unacceptable..you did not respect others, and how do you accept us to respect your point? (when u always end off your statements with 'lol', it set us all on 'lol' mode on you too!)
 

octo

New Member
Hi ggoldfish,

Is everything going fine for you?

I saw your post under the banquet forum, calling for people to take over your banquet package for next year.
 

ggoldfish

New Member
shir,

sad to say, things really aren't gg well...

almost 2 weeks ago, my dad woke up one morn struggling for air n he finally willing to see a doc...his heart, lungs n blood pressure was normal, oli thing is tt the oxygen level in his blood was lower than normal, which is prob the reason was he feel breathless..doc concluded he has asthma n say tis cld be due to his many years of smoking..i dunno hw true, bt sis told mum the asthma mux be triggered by my dad's depression over my problem..on the surface, i told my sis off for stirring n telling a different story fr wat the doc say..deep dwn, i dunno am i jux trying to convince myself tt the attack has really nth to do wif me...

Those 2 incidents which i mentioned abt my dad feeling ill after seeing my bf may be real n i admit tt i’m wrong n unfilial for suspecting my dad bt i find it hard to swallow if all blame were pushed to me...even now, dad is still smoking n he refused to go for follow-up check-up with specialist arranged by the hospital...so bec of the fact tt he still refuse to take care of his health, am i supposed to be the culprit everytime anything happen bec i m wif someone they dislike?

with the current situation n the fact tt my maternal grandma been in n out of hospital, we ve decided to put our wedding plans on hold, prob until our flat is ready, which will be ard 2010 or 2011...This is y we need to transfer our dinner package cox the hotel nt able to let us defer indefinitely..

in the meanwhile, he will most prob pursue his degree n at the same time, we still cont to try to get my family’s approval...

to be frank, i am quite depressed tt the wedding is postponed...after all, i do look forward to it even though my family issue is causing distress...i keep telling myself tt will be better, tt we will be able to start new life at our new flat...somemore i oso fear of having conflicts living wif his mum after wedding b4 our flat is ready...somehow i am not convincing enough though...

i m thinking of gg for counselling...i am nt suicidal bt i dun wish to wake up everymorn...i keep telling myself tt blind obedience is nt filial piety bt i do feel sorry for my parents as well for having a daughter like me, a daughter who is defying them for a man...on the other hand, i feel sorry for my bf for being discriminated n looked down for sth he was fated to ve, sth he cant ve control of...worst thing is tt i cant imagine life w/o either side, or shd i say, hw either side will cope if i leave them...i knw life is a misery wif its’ up n dwn...hw i wish i can wind life 10yrs later n see by then wat is the situation...wat a joke it will be if i am still stuck by then...
 

benji69

New Member
ggoldfish, this thread is too long and I apologise for just reading the first and last page, so I may not have got the complete story.

When the whole world is against the two of you, the natural reaction is for the two of you to stick together and fight back. But when things cool down, things may change. I am saying this because I have come across a number of cases where couples have married despite objections from parents, relatives and friends, and in the end the marriage did not last. Often, the marriage broke down precisely because of the reason the parents, relatives etc cited. Then they keep saying.. I told you so. So, you have to think long and hard on this one. Is he really, really the one for you? I have no idea why your parents and sister are against him. Is there something you have not disclosed to us? Anyway, it is entirely your decision to make. Just know that once you make that decision, there is no turning back.

Now, once you make that decision, I don't think you should stop. Why do you equate marriage with wedding dinner. Do it the way I did, and many other as well. Just go to ROM, exchange rings and your are married!!! It will be good if your flat is ready, as you can then move in and build your little home. Go on and have kids. It's your life.

Oh, the wedding dinner. I think you can tell your parents that you will wait for their acceptance before holding your traditional wedding ceremony and dinner. It doesn't matter how long you have to wait. I know of people who have done that.
 

ggoldfish

New Member
Hi Benji,

thanks for the advice...my frens and relatives r ok wif my bf..the only 3 person dead against r my parents n sister...my bro met him b4 n is ok wif him...

a short summary for u..my parents' main stand is that he has a health condition which occurred once b4...they say pple who r unhealthy shd nt get married and harm the other party...he is nt taking medication bt they r sure tt he will suffer relapse n my life will be in turmoil then...we understand their concerns n ve been doing alot of precaution to show tt we r nt taking things for granted bt it fell on deaf ears...then there r other minor reasons like, i ve degree, his oli diploma n hw last time he used to be quite ah beng...they keep banging on stuff tt happened many yrs ago n refused to acknowledge the effort he put in throughout these years..

as for the wedding banquet,it is jux my little dream to solemnise on the banquet itself...may sound shallow bah...in fact, i hope to ve the first march-in wif my dad, then he will hand me over to my husband...anyway, tt dream may nt come true so our main focus nw is wait for the flat to be ready..
 

benji69

New Member
Hi ggoldfish,

You may have to give up on your little dream. You have already waited so long for your right man, and you should not wait longer. He may also not want to wait too long.

Pardon me for saying this, but your parents and sister are just too shallow. It is not as though your bf is tatooed all over, from another race and religion, went to DRC 5 times. Or is he? Will your parents and sister be happy only when you are 54 and still waiting for the right one? (You can ask them this)

When your flat is ready, you should just get married at ROM, with maybe a few friends and your brother. It cannot be helped. I know of a neighbour (chinese daughter) who married an Indian (Indian adopted by chinese family so speak chinese but dark skinned). The mother said over her dead body. But when they got married (against her objections) and had a wonderful son, the mother quickly forgot everything. Now they are happily married, or at least the last I heard.

Oh by the way, for goodness sake, if your bf is already comfortable with his job, don't go get the degree or change job just to please your parents. I know of people (my brother actually) who was comfortable with his diploma. But he wanted to go further and study don't know what. In the end, got it by could not find the right job. End up neither here nor there. So, for the degree, go for it only because he wants he and there is a reason. If not, don't do it for other people. If they look down on you, they will still look down on you. Either the university is not right, or the course is not right.

I hope your flat will come, you will get married, you will have a wonderful son/daughter and eventually your family will accept you. I will you all the best.
 

ggoldfish

New Member
Hi Benji,

my mum have mentioned before tt she rather i become a nun than to marry my bf, so whether i remain single or nt is fine with them...

Just out of curiousity, do you know whether your neighbour's parents attended their wedding?

as for the degree, thks for ur concern and highlighting the -ve aspects of it... he will be taking part-time degree relevant to his present job, which will be good for his own advancement as well..have accepted tt my parents n sis will still look dwn on him even if he obtained masters, so nw he is studying for himself, nt for anyone else...

Lastly, thanks for your well-wishes, think i really need it...
 

nutty_nutella

New Member
Hi ggoldfish,

sorry to hear of your plight. as many forumers here adviced, it's your life you're leading, not others...what pple think/feel/say you can't control. as children, we'd try our best to be filial to our parents. from what i read, you seemed to be doing a great job in that aspects. sometime pple, for that matter your family is trying to pick bones from an egg. if you think bf is the one, go for it and find happiness. of cos, if *touch wood* things doesn't turn out well, you'll have to swallow ur pride when your family say all the "i told you so's"...

lastly, to quote an example of my gf. her parents are against her marrying a philipino (she's chinese). did she care? not really...she sort of eloped...after a while, the parents just accepted him. now they have a beautiful daughter. so far, they're happy.

gd luck! follow your heart and live...
 

ggoldfish

New Member
Hi NN,

thanks for the advice...seem like most parents will soften after seeing grandchildren...bt hard for my case, cos my parents say our children will inherit his condition n suffer..we r oso nt likely to ve children bec of it...anyway, my mum has been baby-sitting for many years...so to them, babies r still cute, bt they dun yearn for grandchildren like most parents..

anyway, help me send my regards to ur fren even though i dun nt know the 2 of u personally...jux feel glad for her tt her parents finally accepted her husband..
 

ggoldfish

New Member
Hi ice lemon tea,

unfortunately, it's still the same...well, if you din mention, i also din realise it's almost one year since my last post in this thread...

for the past one year, we have been quite keeping 'low profile' as both of us had made career change and since both of us have agreed to postpone the wedding, we devoted our attention towards our career instead...as usual, whole family acted that my bf dun exist, so life goes on as normal, though i am quite sure my parents are aware that we do meet up during weekends...

i am mustering up my courage for the day which i can tell my parents calmly that we are still going ahead for the wedding...i dun wan things to turn into another shouting match which has no solution and no conclusion...and sis, if you are reading this post(yes, my family found out about my posting at this forum...there was no direct confrontation, but did cause my uncle to receive a lecture from my mum and i really feel apologetic towards my uncle...i know what my family did are supposed to be well-intended from their perspectives, that they are protecting me from harm so i ve no hard feelings for them, just apologies to the innocent pple who have gotten involved because of me), i hope to let you know that i do love this family very much and appreciate all the love that the family has been showering on me but i really do hope that you will give him a chance to meet up with you... he really wish to clarify all the misunderstandings you have of him...No one is perfect...Just like you have all the explanations for the past of the guys that you like, we do have our own rationale as well...i hope that you can at least give us a fair chance...i dun ve the confidence to make you accept him right after the talk but do at least give us a chance to say what we hope to say...There are really some incidents which the story gotten out of hand but you never give us the chance to set the record right...
 

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