Procrastinator, thanks for sharing. My relationship hasn’t been that long (well almost 1 year). Though it was just a short period but it was very intensive. We shared so much together and the chemistry and compatibility was awesome. He was the best and sweetest bf I ever had, and the guy whom I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. We even got a flat together, booked the banquet venue, and the bridal package.
Now that all has ended, I don’t know how to pick up and move on (been trying every day) I can’t imagine having to go through all of those initial wedding preparations with another different man(?!) if there’s ever another man again. I guess I will freak out, and become phobic at the thought of what if it turns out to be another failed relationship? I know it doesn’t serve any good for me to be so negative about the outlook on life, but i guess this time round, it’s gonna take me a long time to recover. The impact and setback is too much for me to handle.
i don't know how to describe that kind of pain. i have been using work to disguise the pain. my working hours are long (at least 12 hours or more) and can be quite stressful at times. I bury myself in work, i make myself so exhausted to the extend i dont have the energy to think about him when i reach home. But it doesn’t help much, at the end of the day when i reach home, when i stop my pace to breathe, memories will all come back to haunt me.
My friends –while I appreciate a couple of them who were there for me, but I understand they have their own lives too. I don’t wanna impose on them much. most of my other friends/colleagues are either happily married or attached to understand what breaking up is, and the ordeal of the whole process of getting yourself and your life back. After awhile, you will realise people just pay lip service to you - without really understanding what you what you need from them is not to simply to say “move on don’t look back”, and magic – you will be okay. But rather to support you as you fall, to be there to lend a hand not just once, but for as long as you need to take to overcome this difficult period. Alas, I don’t have that many friends who can do this for me.
My parents loved him, esp my mom. She isn’t someone who is easy to get along with, but i was so glad she approved of him. But now that it’s over, I don’t talk to my family about it, cos I don’t want them to worry about me. I pretend i’m strong and happy and my life still goes on. Once I close the door and back to my room, my world will come crashing down. It’s when i truly take off the mask behind the strong facade which others think I am. But they don’t know deep inside, I’m vulnerable.
Thank you for your kind words. I wish for the day I will not be affected by him or his actions. I hope the same for you too. Sigh for now, it’s still a far cry to get there.