Fallen in love with another gal......

leeyuanping

New Member
How do u guys control your emotions for gals?
I am married, with 2 kids...with youngest one just past one yr old...
recently i have been meeting up with this girl from the same company...and i really enjoy her company.
when i dont see her,i started feeling very sad.i just wish she is around all the time,encouraging me, motivating me and helping me in my work.
she is always so cheerful...i knew i had fallen in love with her...but i am married...i dont want to hurt her...but i really cant control myself....i yearn to see her everyday....
what can i do....
she is still young and single...
 


skylar

New Member
try talking to your wife about this..

see how???

1 hand u know u r wrong, as u r married & yet on the other u yearn for her.. the only thing u can do now is to cut down contacts with her, but from the look of this, u have already fallen for her. Does she knows ur married? or perhaps she does not have the same sort of feelings that u have at all!!!!
 
married guys shld simply keep yr "love" to yr wife n yr wife only...

in fact, being married, u hv no more rights to talk abt "love" anymore...if u wanna love, u shld love yr wife n be contented to love her only

pls remember the vows u made when you get married...they dun mean nothing
 

crystal_cloud

New Member
no one in this thread will give u the advice that u wanted or anticipated for..

u are not even ready for marriage y marry in first place???

since you are married u should be able to withstand every temptation. it about your mindset and character..not how much the ger is appealing to you nor how much your current r/s is leading you to -- be it happy or unhappy.

in short u are IRRESONSIBLE CRAP! disgrace to mankind and people like you have made ignorant women to equate all guys like you.
 

pink_sapphire

New Member
'she is still young and single...' sounds like u r attracted by this yar

think of wat your wife have given u , two kids and a happy family , so dun mess things up
 

zephon

New Member
its often office affair? i think my hubby also fell for one of his colleague though he say its not, i call up they say the girl left, so coincident!!!!

sigh..... Mr. Lee don't hurt your family....
 
It's just a crush! Control yourself and don't spend too much time with your lady colleague. Spend more time rekindling the love wtih your wife instead.

Personally I think it isn't wise to have a r/s with your colleague. Imagine when other colleagues discover about your interest in her, the whole office will be gossiping about you & her! The gossip will even reach your boss's ears, so be smart and don't affect your career ;)
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
"i just wish she is around all the time,encouraging me, motivating me and helping me in my work."

Please be more professional in your work. You can't self-motivate and be independent meh? You sound rather weak in your work. Time to pull up your socks.
 

printing

New Member
What do you mean by control emotions for gal?You mean you do not know as a married man! What a shame.

You are seriously a jerk if you are going to tell me you do not know how to exercise self-control.

Comon, be a sensible family man, don't hurt your wife and innocent children.

Don' lead the gal & don't allow the gal to lead you.

Be rational. Use your head to think, not that 'head' which hides in your trouser!.

Good luck!
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Why did u get married and start a family for? for fun is it?

Its natural for humans to have emotions. So, u have affection for more than one person in your life is not something that should surprise you. But, if you need to be in a relationship with every single woman u feel for, then, you seriously need to reflect alot. Time to get real and stop screwing your mind over your emotions and lust.

there is a key difference between humans and animals. We don't simply follow our instincts and emotions. We have responsibility, values and most importantly the rational mind to prioritize and manage our thoughts logically. And, its bullshit that you cannot control yourself. Rather, u don't want to control yourself. Its not something so unique to you alone. Most people go thr this in various stages of our lives. And not everyone will end up in an affair. Get things sorted out while its still in the initial stages. The more emotions you put in, the deeper you dig in this shit.
 

infojunkie

Active Member
Mr Lee, u said u r married, u dun wanna hurt that gal...

How abt ur wife & kids? Won't they be hurt too if u decide to give in to ur lust over some nubile young gal?

This is likely a passing phase. So, keep the fantasy to urself and get over it.

Remember that case of a married teacher having extra-marital affair?

Hers is worst than urs.

And she screwed up big time.

If u go for it, u might not end up like that poor woman...BUT U WILL SCREW UP ALL THE SAME AND IT'S IRREVERSIBLE!
 

baggyeyes

New Member
leeyuanping,

You forgot about your wife and kids.....you don't want to hurt the gal but you are alreadty hurting your family.
 

tomasulu

Member
you are not phrasing your question correctly. you don't want to know what you can or should do. you know that already. you want to know how you can have your cake and eat it. what you really want is to bring your infatuation to the next level. but you aren't sure you are prepared to divorce your wife and break up your family.

well let me assured you that life's not like that. if you take the next step, chances are the outcome will suck big time. the girl may be so horrified by your confession that she tells the whole world what a humsup loh you are. or you guys may get on hot and dirty and you eventually lose your family over it. for every action, there will be consequences. so the question you want to ask yourself is this - i am looking at a fork in the road, where will each lead me in 5 years time?
 

greyarea

New Member
mr lee,

1) Repeating this to yourself everyday when you think of this girl: It's a CRUSH! It's a CRUSH! It's a CRUSH! It's a CRUSH! It's a CRUSH! It's a CRUSH! It's a CRUSH!

AND

2) Imagine this: Your wife also fell in love with a man who is so different from you and this man is so caring, so gentleman, so suave, so charismatic. You like to wear "green hat"??? You like to see your wife abandon her responsibility being a respectful mother and a wife??

OR

3) imagine this: Your wife wants to divorce you and have custody of your children upon knowing you have a change of heart.

So, you want (2) and (3) to happen and jeopardize your own family just for a sweet nothing whom you just happen to have a crush on??

THINK!!!!
 

tan33a

New Member
how could you fall in love "again"? then why did you even marry your wife?? wasn't it because you were in love with her?? then what if you keep falling in love?? you're going to keep changing partners throughout your whole life?

please lorrrr! you're a father of two!! you should be able to think for yourself ba.. not writing in some forum to tell people that you're married, with 2 kids and now you're falling in love with a new girl. so dumb! if you really cannot control yourself, (which i'm sure you CAN, but you just don't want to), quit the damn job! move on with your life. well, you have a life with your own family. why risk all that just because of a stupid crush over someone in the office who'd ONLY been helping you with your work? jerk.
 

crystal_cloud

New Member
He ought to slap himself AWAKE now.
Lee Yuan Ping, if you are reading this now in office, you should feel ashamed of your acts and even THOUGHTS!
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
hi tenia, u wrote : how could you fall in love "again"?

and pink,

Really, there is nothing to be ashamed to have thoughts.

Emotions and thoughts are such, it happens to anyone and everyone. We cannot fault one for being emotional or lustful. But, to say its beyond our control is being irresponsible. Like an animal needing to mate in every given suitable opportunity. Do we entertain and dwell further in them in hope to fulfill them. That's where the main diff is.

I think we continue to fall in love for as long as we live. Just whether we fall in love again with our spouse or with someone else.
 

tan33a

New Member
ya.. lol. i don't know. was just wondering.. how did he feel for his wife back then, because he said "but i really cant control myself....i yearn to see her everyday...."

i guess that part puzzled me. milo, u're right for saying we cannot fault one for being emotional.. it's very true indeed..

but well, this guy's definitely not only emotional.. and all he mentioned that he cares about was this girl.. did u see him mention "i don't wanna hurt my wife and kids" instead of "i don't wanna hurt her" ?

anyway, there's not need for us to argue over what we/others said.. everyone has their own opinions, i guess. =)
 

pink_sapphire

New Member
'i just wish she is around all the time,encouraging me, motivating me and helping me in my work' -- hmm makes me think , when a gal helps a guy at work , it will make him fall in love with her ? wa if its so easy to fall in love wa ladies out there better think twice before helping a guy colleague man .. dun know wat their thinking
 

sylar

New Member
tania, you can try googling... think it's a girl/woman's name...

anyway, another 1 post wonder. dun think he will be that dumb to use his own name.
 

pink_sapphire

New Member
hey do u think this 'guy' lee yuan ping is actually a gal .. maybe either the wife or the female colleague 'he/she' didnt even reply to any of the posts ever since 'he' sttarted the thread
 

thommy

New Member
Leave that girl alone.

Don't add to the growing statistics of divorce cases in Singapore please, it's bad enough as it is already. Thanks.
 
whr's the thread starter? too ashamed to face the critism here?

"he" shld seek motivation from his wife, n not the office colleague...his family by itself IS the source of motivation already. irresponsible guy!

lousy hubby, bad father...least to mention, impossible employee (imagine, having to get himself motivated by another female colleague with whom he have fantasy on)

GOSH!
 

agag

New Member
I think 'he' just got scared with all the hammering going on... lol... but of course, he deserved to be 'slap' and THINK.
 
err....i can be worse lor

but wif "man" like leeyuanping...guess i need to spare no mercy...oops sorry...dun tink "he" is even fit to call himself a "man"
 

tan33a

New Member
lol.. "he" is not even man.. i mean, might not be a man.. haha.. try googling lee yuan ping.. all results return as girls' name.. could be some ppl who have nothing better to do.. and we fell into his trap! :p~~
 

sylar

New Member
hmm, actually regardless whether TS is real or not doesn't really matter.

Let's be objective.

This scenario has been played out countless times, in real and in reel. And it's not just the men, ladies too. The problem is when 2 persons work so closely together, something is bound to happen, unless both are robots with no emotions. Just the hours we spend at work occupies more than 3/4 of the waking day, compared to the time we have at home. You interact more with your colleagues than your spouse.

The only way that nothing happens is when either one or both are conscientiously keeping to their personal border and decency. But when both let go of their inhibitions with disregard to their families, that's when things happen. Either way, these are extremely selfish people who have only thoughts for themselves without due considerations for the people around them.
 



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