Not tt I wanna abandon my gal, but I know my PILs side too well. They'll 100% bad mouthed me to my gal. Cos my MIL even bad mouthed me in front of the relatives, tt's why I dread family gatherings. Cos she always made me look so bad in front of others. So it's either I fully take over or fully let go. Cos half half would make my gal very miserable. But on my side, I cannot afford her at all esp after staying home looking after her for the past 1 yr. And since my hubby proposed tt he wanna take over, I thought yah, mayb its painful, but it would be better.
At the same time I am confused. My PIL fights and quarrel so frequently. Imagine they can be slamming doors in e middle of 3am at nite. And they shouted at each other so often. Its a very unhealthy environment I would say. Because I felt tramatised by their behavior on my 1.5yrs staying with them last time.
My parents cannot take care cos both of them working. Sister still schooling. So they need the financial part.
I tot of taking over the baby n the house. But I dun trust my hubby on the alimony and stuff, so better nt bet on anything like these.
Not only tt, the next day after I discover his betrayal, I hugged my gal crying so badly. He dares to tell me to stop being drama. Kaoz, can't even cry after he did such a thing to me meh? But yesterday I saw a counsellor already, she told him off. Hehe, she said my wounds are still so raw, he shouldnt be rubbing on it telling me tt I cannot cry. WOman have a way of releasing their sadness through tears. Actually not only woman, but all humans. But just tt man are moulded in this society to be the macho party who shouldnt cry in all circumstances.
I dun plan any revenge on him. Perhaps it's juz my character and the perfectionism part taking over. Given tt without a baby, if such things happen, I'll pack and say bye bye to him, not to even consider a second chance. Now with a baby, things just gets so much harder.
Sigh, my hubby says he wants to try. But I am not ready to forgive him. And even if I do, I dunno how to put the betrayal behind n trust him again.
Somemore since last nite terrible crying episode again, his close friend told me something, best is for me to pursue something tt I wanted to do all along. That would be a great gift to myself and a punishment to him. Cos I'll be a better person, so he'll regret his actions.