For the past few years, I have been witnessing how my mom, whom I’m very close to, undergo several setbacks and stressful situations which had also taken a toll on her health both physically and mentally. It pains me and I really want to help.
We are a family of 3 girls, me being the eldest. We have a sister who is a lot younger than us (more than 10 yrs gap) and is still schooling. She is a rather difficult one and my mom is overly protective over her. My sis is already 20, yet she treats her like she's 5. She follows her to school when she can, checks her phone, combs her hair, cut up her food so that she will eat it etc. She buys pretty much everything that my sis asks for, believes in everything she says even after being lied to many times. And the worst thing is, my sis is not the least appreciative, and even takes advantage of my mom and is disrespectful.
My mom does not like it when my other sister and I tried to step in. We usually hold our peace, but I’ll intercept when I see that things are getting out of hand, especially when my sis is being way too rude to my mom. But more often than not, we get scolded or chased away instead, or end up arguing with my mom.
A close friend whom I recently shared this with told me that my mom is highly likely suffering from what they might call the “empty nest” syndrome whereby parent(s) feel extremely anxious/upset that all their children has grown up and moving on; hence losing their purpose in life and falling into depression. I am married for 5 years; my 2nd sis is getting married soon too.
On top of that, we have an estranged relationship with our father who doesn't come home very often, if at all. Despite our numerous attempts to persuade him, he has gotten himself into a myriad of financial debts and even trouble with the law. For the past year or so, we have had creditors knocking on our doors. Because my father is rarely home, and with us out schooling/working; my mom is the mainly one dealing with all these harassments.
Divorce is in progress currently.
I have been researching on this “empty nest” syndrome thing, but can’t seem to find much help as it is not yet a clinical diagnosis, until it lapses into something more serious like depression. All I found online was to spend as much time with her, asking her to take up new activities etc. I stay with my husband, but as much as I can, I go back home, call back, take leave to accompany her when she needs, eg to the lawyer, doctor, to my sis school when she says she needs to go. I try to bring her out, but she pretty much refuses to step out of the house unless necessary. I thought of quitting my job to stay with my mom through this difficult period, but she is heavily dependent on my contribution as well. My dad has stopped giving money for a long while; my 2nd sis has study loans to clear etc as well.
My mom nearly 60, tail-end of menopause, has high blood pressure as well. She’s aged a lot physically, lost interest in many things that she once loved; she used to be jovial and happy go lucky, but now she’s become a shadow of her past, and starting to even show signs of mental degeneration.
I’m getting really worried.
Has anyone gone through similar experience to share some advice?
We are a family of 3 girls, me being the eldest. We have a sister who is a lot younger than us (more than 10 yrs gap) and is still schooling. She is a rather difficult one and my mom is overly protective over her. My sis is already 20, yet she treats her like she's 5. She follows her to school when she can, checks her phone, combs her hair, cut up her food so that she will eat it etc. She buys pretty much everything that my sis asks for, believes in everything she says even after being lied to many times. And the worst thing is, my sis is not the least appreciative, and even takes advantage of my mom and is disrespectful.
My mom does not like it when my other sister and I tried to step in. We usually hold our peace, but I’ll intercept when I see that things are getting out of hand, especially when my sis is being way too rude to my mom. But more often than not, we get scolded or chased away instead, or end up arguing with my mom.
A close friend whom I recently shared this with told me that my mom is highly likely suffering from what they might call the “empty nest” syndrome whereby parent(s) feel extremely anxious/upset that all their children has grown up and moving on; hence losing their purpose in life and falling into depression. I am married for 5 years; my 2nd sis is getting married soon too.
On top of that, we have an estranged relationship with our father who doesn't come home very often, if at all. Despite our numerous attempts to persuade him, he has gotten himself into a myriad of financial debts and even trouble with the law. For the past year or so, we have had creditors knocking on our doors. Because my father is rarely home, and with us out schooling/working; my mom is the mainly one dealing with all these harassments.
Divorce is in progress currently.
I have been researching on this “empty nest” syndrome thing, but can’t seem to find much help as it is not yet a clinical diagnosis, until it lapses into something more serious like depression. All I found online was to spend as much time with her, asking her to take up new activities etc. I stay with my husband, but as much as I can, I go back home, call back, take leave to accompany her when she needs, eg to the lawyer, doctor, to my sis school when she says she needs to go. I try to bring her out, but she pretty much refuses to step out of the house unless necessary. I thought of quitting my job to stay with my mom through this difficult period, but she is heavily dependent on my contribution as well. My dad has stopped giving money for a long while; my 2nd sis has study loans to clear etc as well.
My mom nearly 60, tail-end of menopause, has high blood pressure as well. She’s aged a lot physically, lost interest in many things that she once loved; she used to be jovial and happy go lucky, but now she’s become a shadow of her past, and starting to even show signs of mental degeneration.
I’m getting really worried.
Has anyone gone through similar experience to share some advice?