i know how you feel.
my husband did that to me too. 2weeks after we ROM, he beat me up and den told my parents i started it first. he will say i wasn't good, not pretty. he doesn't work and i had to support him and the house + his car loan. he chose his dogs over our baby and ended up having an abortion. he's always going fishing and neglected all his duties, including letting his dogs go hungry. beat his dogs up as well. i was working and teaching tuition til 10pm most days to make ends meet. one day i came home and caught him with an 18yr old girl in our bedroom. he claimed innocent, as if i would believe but i tried again to salvage whatever was left.
he actually shouted in my face that "hao lai hao san" i was the one who keep wanting to stick together. in the 6mth after the girl incident, he made me feel as though it was my fault since the beginning and that i was hard up for him. i left him after one argument. i was losing my dignity, esteem and sanity.
i woke up after my dad told me that he could very well lose a daughter because of that man. that was when i decided it was enough.
i've never looked back since i left. i have nightmares over and over again although it's been a year. my life is so much more peaceful.
u don't need that sort of crap. i'm not asking you to leave him but u have to decide for yourself when is enough before you lose yourself. i nearly committed suicide and started mutilating myself in the course of marriage because of the stress i was under. now i feel really dumb when i could have just walked out.
there's no such thing as "IF only i tried..." because you're trying all you can already and the other person will never see it because of their own self-righteousness. in my naiveness to try my 1000% to make the marriage work, i forgot my own happiness. it's not worth it. you're a living person too and you must love yourself before he starts to love you.
1 Cor 6:15
But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to leave in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save you husband?
If he's already emotionally detached, it already as good as leaving. if God can't save him or the marriage, how can you? it is God's will.
Ephesians 4:25
Husbands, love you wives, just as Christ loved his church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing of water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
It took me a long time to reconcile with myself and when I picked up the bible after much encouragement from my friends did i find peace.
wish you luck my girl. if talking to him does help, do it. if need be, see a counsellor. i did all in my power to salvage mine before i left knowing it was all i could give and do. but i left a broken woman and i haven't completely healed. i hope you won't be the same.