Does she like me or simply treating me as a backup?

[karvna]

Hi folks,

Am in a complicated situation right now. Met up with a JC friend a few months ago - she was my crush and soon rekindled the feelings I had for her, but she's currently attached.

Her r/s is not very stable and she is working hard to salvage it. She told me to wait for her till a certain dateline by when she will give me a definite answer if she will stay with her bf or break up with him. Though she acknowledged her r/s is on the rocks, she still wants to try her very best for her bf to make it work. To be frank, I don't really see her r/s having any future.

In the meantime, she has cut off all contacts with me as she doesn't want to be distracted by me which will affect her decision-making. She said she has to do this to build a strong foundation for a possible future r/s with me. She asked me if I want to be a full-fledged bf or as a third party trying to break up two people trying hard to save their r/s.

I am seriously clueless on what is going on. What does she take me for? Should I continue waiting or move on? If she has any feelings for me, she will not treat me so shabbily right? If she really loves her bf so deeply, then why should I even bother to wait in the first place? Why ask me to wait for her when she is not interested in me?

 

[infojunkie]

u're the back-up - it's obvious she treats u as a spare tyre.

hint: "Her r/s is not very stable and she is <font color="ff0000">working hard</font> to salvage it... Though she acknowledged her r/s is on the rocks, she still <font color="ff0000">wants to</font> try her very best for her bf to make it work"

 

[scope_guy]

Karvna,

Your stupid girl no know the infamous Chinese love saying?

勉强没有幸ç¦ã€‚ä¸æ˜¯ä½ çš„，便是硬生生抢过æ¥ï¼Œæœ‰ä»€ä¹ˆæ„æ€ï¼Ÿ

But it doesn't matter you are spare tyre or not. Do you really love her?

Many girls may start out with bfs, some just want to have fun, but when you appear, when she knows you... she can still fall in love with you.

In fact... for me, most girls I engaged in started out with either boy boys or didn't give me a damn. But so what?

Do you love her? Do you want her? It doesn't matter if you are a 'spare tyre'. So what you are her 'husband' or her 'steady'? It's still her heart... it's still does she love you. LOL~

Don't bother about labels. Fate shalt decide.

She is trying very hard... Normal for a girl... especially a naive shallow girl. Once she matures, she'd realise love is beautiful, it's not die die must stick to a 'habit'.

But if you so are bothered about being what 'spare tyre'... Then forget it. You don't love her as she doesn't understand her relationship with that boyfriend of hers. If that's only that much of love you have... for the label, then leave.

If you die die want her, it's not love. It'd be like she towards her boy boy, die die want to 'make love works'. LOL~ Love means love... How to die die want to make love works? She's crazy. But she's a girl. You are a man.

Don't waste your time if you care so much asking about label here... It's not love.

 

[infojunkie]

well, he's a non-believer

http://www.singaporebrides.com/forumboard/messages/5/1484451.html?1280475606#POST4302756

 

[scope_guy]

Junkie,

？？？

 

[sianz81]

Hahaha!!

 

[sundownprince]

funny! good one junkie.

 

[reddyredlee]

Karvna:

Whether if she treats you shabbily or not, you still have feelings for her correct? Why not just wait for her to sort out her stuffs with her bf and in the meantime, you can just go and get to know more people. Who knows maybe along the way, you might find someone whom you would really love/like.

After all, you have nothing much to lose also except maybe a bruised ego?

 

[jefferson_edison]

you are a spare tire.

when the Boyfriend don't want her already. Then you take over?

Spare tire, back-up will end up being THROWN AWAY when she found a new love.

if she really love you now, she will have accepted u already.

SHE DON'T LOVE U AT ALL

SHE GOT NO FEELING FOR U

SHE IS JUST USING U AS SPARE TIRE

YOU ARE NOT EVEN A REAL FRIEND TO HER.

 

[scope_guy]

Jefferson,

In relationship matters, never try never die.

You can't just say, just because he's spare tyre he'd be hopeless. The heart is not something like an equation. When she discovers Karvna truly loves her, when a woman does feel love, if Karvna is a great guy, after that silly woman wakes up, Karvna still can be her man.

Now the problem is... does Karvna really love her? LOL~ He's so freakingly bothered about label. Today, he is bothered about 'spare tyre' label, tomorrow if she married, he bothered about 'wife' label and just stop loving her...

Then that silly woman die die cannot work things out and divorce... then he 'love her again'.

LOL~

What fvck is his love this manner? LOL~ Singaporeans... ...

Jefferson, you already have a girlfriend, I assume. Now the issue is, no feeling can become got feeling, got feeling also can got become no feeling... Only true love can last a lifetime, but it can also start from no feeling... and last forever.

Spare tyre is not the issue, Karvna is not ready for love. I have been reading his advice to others, including Reddy Lee.

"Cut lah! Ignore lah! Move on lah!" LOL~

It's like a man is robot and woman is like gas station. LOL~

LOL~ You people... are so funny.

 

[jefferson_edison]

well reading his thread, he is spare tire.

why waste time on the girl when the girl treated him spare tire.

true love? what true love is there when the girl doesn't love him at all.

the girl love the boyfriend and thus is miserable. and TS is obviously disturbing her thus she want him to get loss until she's settled then she decide what to do with him.

well like that what is TS? rubbish?

 

[scope_guy]

Jefferson,

When the match hasn't hit friction, you don't expect a spark yet. It's not waste of time. Who knows what will happen?

If Karvna truly loves her, yes... he doesn't waste his time, he moves on... Tell me he can stop loving somebody. If he could, then now I'd tell him, just get lost and find someone else.

LOL~

The girl has to choose, it's the rule of the game. She'd have to live with the consequence of her choice. If she doesn't know how to handle relationship matter... she'd pick one, and lose one. The worst case scenario... is she picked someone and lose the One. LOL~

Which is why I wasted so much time with Reddy's case.

Don't try to tikam with God on relationship or fate. Learn how to handle women or men.

So... if Karvna is so bothered about labels... go and love labels lah!

Just like those crazy women here screaming and crying... about how much their beloved husbands whom they married out of 'true love' have to be divorced.

Fvck lah~ If they tell me they married out of true love, I'd laugh until hair pain. LOL~ They are obviously more in love with marriage or women's stages than their men. Then after they married, some wake up...

"I don't understand men..."
"Why he does it! One not enough meh!?"
"Why! Why doesn't he love me anymore?"
"He doted on me until bla bla bla..."
"We were so fine, why he suddenly has what TOW?!"

LOL~

And the most classic joke of all times:

"I swear upon my wonder bra, I married him out of TRUE love..."

Yeah right...

For Karvna's case... It's a good chance for him to learn, after he made so many advices to similar cases, like Reddy's. He's like an ignorant child. LOL~

 

[sundownprince]

Scope what it true love in your eyes? True love seems as elusive as the One.

 

[scope_guy]

Do you think Karvna truly love that girl when he is asking about something this superficial?

Which eye did you not see true love in him? LOL~

Interesting, isn't it?

 

[sundownprince]

Ok so u mean if he truly loved her he will not be worried about being called the spare tyre? After all that's just a title?

 

[scope_guy]

I am saying, he has to grow up and learn... He's like a kid to me, taking what his grandfather's story, going around telling people what to do about love when he doesn't even understand what true love is.

In a way, yes. If you truly love a person, your heart won't bother with titles... Fate cannot be decided by mortal means... without a penalty incurred.

 

[powder]

karvna, dun think u'll be happy in the long run even if she ends up with u. whther u're spare or not is irrelevant becos u know u're not 1st choice. if u're not 1st choice then dun exoect her to tell u things whereby u'll think u are. that's kidding yourself and u will be no different from the ladies u see in the forum who hang on to their husbands evn tho the fella no longer wants to love them... it's a lost cause if u're not certain of the cause.

if u wanna wait by all means wait, but rem that if u love a person, u either choose to be with them or not. if u're waiting for her to divorce then fine, but she isn't married and er choice isn't u Now, so waiting is entirely your decision.

not forgetting, sometimes ex-crushes revive for the simple fact that the memories are etched in the past.

 

[thommy]

There are other trees in the forest.

 

[powder]

there are other forests in the world...

 

[thommy]

hahaha powder...