Does my hubby suffer from erectile dysfunction?

xinxin

New Member
Hi,

We hv been married for a yr plus n are trying to hv a baby but no good news so far. Whenever we hv sex, is like i am always yearning for it and seems that my hubby doesnt hv any urge! Make mi like a thirsty witch, drenching his juice to quench my thirst!

Before marriage, we didnt hv any intimacy at most is just some heavy petting but no intercourse. At least, he is keen on it. After marriage, our frequency is getting lesser n lesser, really make mi very upset.

I hv tried ways n means from wearing sexy lingerie, waxing my gential areas's hair, slowly luring him to be sexually active. YES I made his BRO awake but not him! Telling mi he is tired, but how can he be tired when his bro is so easily aroused? Simply to put it, is he purely just lazy? Or is he suffering from erectile dysfunction?

I hv tok to him many times either person to person, email, writing sweet little love letter or card telling him the importance of intimacy between married couple putting aside having babies issue. Nothing turn out successful.

Many frens n family memebers etc asking mi abt babies issues, a lot of time i am always giving excuses of not free, no time etc.. Thinking whether do i hv conceiving problems, went to do a checkup but i am clear. After sitting down to tink abt it, then i guess is the intimacy problem leading to not conceiving. I am under lots of pressure especially my MIL cos my hubby is the only son n we are alrady not on good terms n now still unable to bear him a grandchild, now really giving mi a hard time to go thru. Does he understand wat kind of pressure i am facing? Whenever i was rejected of love-making, i feel that i am not a perfect lady, thinking that perhaps i dun attract my hubby at all! Feeling that i maybe not slim or pretty enuf to tempt him etc..

HELP!
 


sgbabydoll

Active Member
Hi Sunnyday, sorry to hear about your frustration. Although not an expert here, I do not think your husband is suffering from erectile dysfunction for the fact that his penis gets erect with stimulation. Is he able to keep the erection firm enough for sexual intercourse? When you said you two engaged in heavy petting in the past, was he able to ejaculate then? So, he may only be suffering from other sexual related problems such as lack of sexual desire.

Perhaps you can give more information here?
 

xinxin

New Member
Hi Sgbabydoll,

Yes i do agree with u that my hubby may not be suffering from erectile dysfunction since his dick is able to get aroused. Yes, he is able to ejaculate.

Is there any other sexual related problems which i may not be aware so enlighten mi pls?
 

aisar

New Member
Hi Sunnyday..

.nope dun think it is STD . Your hubby underwent a lot of work pressure?
or maybe he not prepare to have kids lor.
try to talk to him and understand the underlying reason . But by making yourself too eager to arouse him might turn the problem worse.

well a lady friend of mine had this same problem too.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Sunnyday, you said your hubby can ejaculate but by what method? Can he ejaculate by making love to you?

The reason why I asked this question is because my ex-husband had been unable to ejaculate with penetrative sex. However, no such problem when he was stimulated by the hand or mouth. Till now, I do not know where his problem lies as he refused to talk about it nor seek medical help.

I also agree with Ai that if a man is undergoing alot of pressure, it may cause him to lose sexual desire or the ability to perform in bed. I can vouch for that as my boyfriend with whom I have been enjoying great sex for the past six months, this week is going through some crises, and that has affected his performance in bed. We sex last night and it felt more mechanical and he took a much longer time to climax. I was still able to enjoy our intimate moments but at the same time, I could feel he was so tensed up as a result of the matter that is bothering him. I am now playing the role of an understanding and complying girlfriend (I have always been like that in this relationship), and let him know that he has my full support.

I fully understand your frustration, Sunnyday, having had a non fulfilling sex life myself during the marriage. I was married for six years. No children was conceived from the marriage, of course, although that wasn't the main reason why I decided to initiate a divorce eventually. After we parted ways, I knew that sexual compatibility matters alot to me. I don't want to be left wanting again and certainly don't want to have history repeat itself.
 

xinxin

New Member
Hi Aisar & sgbabydoll,

i dun tink my hubby is having any work pressure cos he is not that chiong type, taking work easy one. Also, he did mentioned to mi saying that he wld like to hv our own child to b like mi, so cute.. so not prepared to hv kid is out of the qn loh..

he can ejaculate by both intercouse n hand/blow job. Understand guys hv pride, so hv tried to praise him whenever he has "work hard", complimenting how good he is etc.. cos giving him 1 black face will show that u r unsatisfied n will discourage him even further.

Yes, having unfufilling intimacy will make us drift slightly, so tats y all this physical contact such as hugs, kisses, petting , sex is very impt here.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Sunnyday, does your husband also shy away from any form of physical closeness, such as hugging, kissing and petting?

If it's not work-related stress, could you find out what is bothering him? Is there a likelihood of involvement in another relationship?

Sorry, I don't mean to encourage you to think negatively but if you have exhausted all your wits, perhaps, it is time to take a more serious look at the situation.
 

xinxin

New Member
Hi Sgbabydoll,

Hmm.. my hubby likes hugging mi and jus normal lip kissing, cos he dislike french kiss. Petting wise, he lowers his frequency too.. perhaps due to thinking that after petting, i will be wet n yearn for sex which he may not wanna.

No, i completely trust my hubby not getting involved in any other relationship cos he is those traditional cum conservative type.

Precisely, afterall i hv done wat i can or shld do.. but dun seems to work that dishearten mi...
 

vios

New Member
No, i think nothing's wrong except for the difference in sex drive. No, i also do not think that there is lack of intimacy, perhaps not like that you thought. Could it be due to other issues aside from EMA, such as $ and career?

Communicate, comunicate deeper..... petting and making love are only part and parcel of a marriage, right.
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Hi Sunnyday, sounds like this is a case of lower sex drive since your hubby has always been not having much urge to sex with you. Or could there be some psychological barriers on his part? And, how long have you not have sex?

About pettying, actually, he can also bring you to climax with petting. There is no hard and fast rule that says you must only achieve an orgasm through sexual intercourse.
 

xinxin

New Member
Hi ai, i hv only tried not toking to him as a punishment but will last for few days only...

Sorry vios, wat is EMA? $$ & career not an issue to us cos both of us r working. We tok almost everyday abt anything.. wat else do we lack?

Hi Sgbabydoll, i hv not been having sex for past 3 mths. *embarassed* Wat other psychological or guys' issues i hv not tot of??
 
me and my hubby facing problems in having sex also
recently, he has not been able to keep his erection firm enough to complete the sexual intercourse and it take much longer time for him to erect now. eventhough it erect, it is not as hard as previously and it will get soft after a few penetration and we had to stop everything.

he keep saying that there is no problem and this is only temporary s he is suffering from stress n pressure, tiredness n on cough medication.

he used to be so strong and hard, and i m wondering what could hve caused this problem so suddenly.

anybody can share w me the root to the problem?
is it really only temporary?
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
Sunnyday, I am also at my wits' end since you have ruled out an outside relationship and work related stress. You said you have tried to communicate with him through email, card, letter, and even face-to-face about the importance of intimacy. Any chance that he feels stressed by your incessant "lecturing"? Have you given him the chance to tell you his side of the story? Maybe he is truly low in sex drive by nature and/or preference? Or he has an inferiority complex to you?
 

mozzarella

New Member
Hey i just read in last months men'shealth that ED could be a symptom of High blood pressure, oncoming heart problem or diabetes. Better go see a doctor.
 

crazy_guy

New Member
stress stress stress!!!..everyday we're stress with work n with age catches up, u will have less energy..its normal lar
 

xinxin

New Member
Hi Mozz & Sgbabydoll,

I hv not been "lecturing" him anymore, jus let it b natural but of cos also wondering on my side loh... Perhaps, is health related liaoz..

Stress, as if only guys suffer from that only, how abt wives having to work, juggle household chores, duties to b a wife, daughter-in-law cum maid cum sex slave??
 

bishopi

New Member
Erectile Dysfunction (inability to sustain erection) is a very common disorder which most men face in there life at some stage for one reason or the other like high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, fatigue, stress, physical injuries, certain medication, smoking and alcohol consumption. The exact reason behind your problem can only be judged by a specialist and only then one should use the medicines prescribed. You can have the information on ED and ED related drugs (Viagra, Levitra) on http://www.levitrabliss.com .
Levitra is a FDA approved drug and is used to cure erectile dysfunction in male. This medicine helps in treating impotency and ED disorders in men suffering from risky medical conditions like high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. This is the reason why this medicine is being preferred over other impotency medicines. But the results and side effects may vary from person to person so it’s advisable to use this medicine in accordance with the instructions of the physician. The best thing one can do is just ask him to consult an urologist, get to the root of the problem and have the medication prescribed and surely he can get over this problem.
 

klman

New Member
nah lah her husband has no disfunction as she said small bro awake , only big bro no interest.

Glad I don't suffer from all these problems. I am like Rocco when the actions starts ha ha.

but 1 thing , back in the old days with this 1 GF when we 1st started going out , we do it 3x a day.
Then later, I got a bit fed up lah too much of a good thing ,got bored with her.
 

klman

New Member
blur ,

don't be jea lah , find one , don't be too weak in front of them . they like you to appear strong then can do 3x a day .

after that you got trouble . I started sleeping on the couch to avoid her he he .
 

powderful07

New Member
Well...don't forget people in this forum are all hidden behind the veil of internet...

We can be what we say we are and people will be none the wiser...

Bragging mah...who don't know how to brag...
I can even brag I have a 10inch tool...
I can claim I'm a sex god just to make myself feel great...
Who's going to prove it, rite?

It's normally people who have inferior complex and no substance that brags a lot...it's been recently proven in this thread, isn't it?

PS : In case people with low IQ can't decipher...I was being sarcastic...
 
wah so envious sigh.. i never try many times before. I rem my ex managed 2x only. but my husband said he did 6x with his ex.. wah so good.. so sianz. Now he seem totally off sex anymore.. always claim tired tired tired from working..
 
vios no lah.. he expressed interest in hvg one more baby n he likes to hv a daughter but the big transitional change in his career, affected him last oct to now. he is hvg some personal crisis and seem not in the mood. I wish he stays in the army and hv no worries but cannot be helped as his drive is south and south.
 

findingnemo

New Member
Someone I knew told me this long time ago. Before he got married to his then gf, everytime they make love, he would put one marble in a glass jar for recording purpose as well as for sentimental reasons. He collected a few jars quite fast. After marriage, he transfered each marble to another emtpy jar each time they make love. Now, after many years of marriage and a few children, he still has not finished transfering all the before-marriage marbles.

I hope you find solace in this true story.
 

klman

New Member
some people are real dumbasses.

how is one supposed to ' prove ' past events online?

unless he thinks we are going to drag our ex partners to ' testify ' here ?

don't think anyone really gives a shit about what certain self appointed " seniors " think .

Brag my lan .
 

powderful07

New Member
Exactly...

Going by the same sentiments; no one really gives a shit if you can perform like Rocco and do it 3x (*snigger*..only?) a day...

For someone to post comments like this. If that's not call bragging; then what do you call that?

Being humble?
 

sgbabydoll

Active Member
"How to when he is stressed on another colleague resigning. might as well look for another baby to adopt"

Blur, if you want to adopt a baby, you might as well take back your daughter from your first marriage, though she is no longer a baby.
 

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