Do you still use gifts from your EX

[cherielim]

After breaking up with your SO, do you still use the gifts given by him/her.

After breaking up with my SO, I have returned all the teddies and little presents but those more personal items like Cloths, Bags and Accessories I still keep it.

Problem is that when I wear it, I sometimes will still remember him and also where we got the gift from and what we did after we purchase the gift and bring back those good memories which is quite painful.

I am trying to exchange those gifts (esp the bag) with something else so I can completely forget about him.

 

[infojunkie]

to EXterminate all thoughts of ur EX, get all valuable items pawned and give the rest away to charity

 

[dimpxtt]

exchange n sell it to the forum......

can..then throw away

long time aog... i return all the stuff by send a courier back ..waste my $40...is ok...

dun want to see e hate face.

 

[cherielim]

Junkie.. Thats a good idea. Maybe I should donate them to Salvation Army as they always got those "flea market" type of sale going on.

 

[shannat]

haha i dumped everything.

 

[kittenpie]

keep and use. i have nothing against the gifts. though i have something against the giver. if it is a momento that has no intrinsic value eg. stuffed toys, throw away

photos are thrown away, unless i look particularly good in them. in those cases, i cut out my portion and throw away the rest.

 

[miloice]

The issue isn't with the gifts but the person. If the person cannot deal with it, then better to give or throw it away.

Why does one need to forget actually? One can move one while completely accepting what has happened.

 

[vios]

cherie

you should also migrate lah~

 

[salsa_babe]

Vios...you are everywhere!

shoo shoo!

 

[sgbabydoll]

Frankly, I don't remember what were the gifts from my ex-bf. Even if I still remember I think I will still use them. Objects are to be used.

 

[thommy]

very true...if u are the gracious type who has gotten over your failed relationship, u wldn't even bother who gave u what.

 

[salsa_babe]

I am still wearing the watch that my ex gave me on my bday. Such a waste to throw it away.

 

[faith23]

for me I will definately use it unless my bf dont like it...I will respect his rights.

 

[powder]

Powder Salvation Army here!

pls donate all valuable items to me... ! diamonds, watches, BRANDED bags... retail price Must Be above minimum 1k.

but seriously use something just use... it'll be weird to see pple sitting around orchard road staring blankly at their Prada bags or Ferragamo shoes as they reminisce of their ex...

pls pls... abit too drama. i'm staring at my pencil sharpener from my ex gfren in K2...

 

[cococherry]

I keep most of the gifts (like soft toys) in a box and put the box in the storeroom. will still use the pricy gifts like bags, watches, perfume etc.

 

[girlytomato]

For me.. depends on how is the breakup ..
If its a bad one, I wont wear it.. will not even look at it.. but I wont throw it away la.. probably donate or give it to my mom.. lol
If its a mutual one (still can be friends) , I probably still feel alright to wear or use them.

 

[matka]

This thread reminds me of my first boyfriend when I was still in school. He asked for all the stuff he gave me, and returned me all the things I gave him. I had no use for all those...

The only thing that I could use was the $200 cash that I lent him. And he never returned that. Bah!

 

[salsa_babe]

Powder....simi sai?!

hahaha...

 

[powder]

oh just amazed mah... i read this thread, i have this mental picture of walking down orchard, then every few steps i see a despondant person sitting on the side bench, holding their wallets/bags/shoes and looking at it Becos it was from their ex...

 

[babystorm]

LOL! That's funny Powder! I still use them and they do not remind me of the memories because I'm over them. I gave away those that I do not like or sick of wearing. Period.

 

[powder]

i mean... u either throw or u keep... does it mean most pple here Keep, u change your mind and keep? or if all of u throw, u organize a group meeting to throw or burn those items?

just amazed... i hope no guys will start such threads... simple decisions have to advertise and make a big hooha over it?

 

[kittenpie]

im waiting for someone to come into this thread to rant about ex demanding presents back.

petty useless men who do such nonsense ... that would be interesting ....

anyone encountered ex like that before?

 

[sgbabydoll]

Got an ex-bf who wanted to return me some BUT NOT ALL of the things I got for him even though I didn't demand anything back. I was quite pissed then. I told him either he keeps everything or returns everything. Don't selectively give back what he doesn't want and keeps what he wants only. Whatever he doesn't want throw away also can but no throwing them back to me lah.

 

[kittenpie]

doll, do those things have recovery value or not?

if not, no need talk so much with such people, just throw everything away.

i have never met cads who demanded things back from me. IF this happened to me, i will probably laugh and ask him to get lost.

 

[sgbabydoll]

May, so far none of my other ex-es had demanded gifts back from me or offered to return gifts to me, except for one of them as shared above. Offered to return selected gift items is so much more ungracious than returning all gifts items. That was why I refused to take back those few items he had wanted to return, and wrote a harsh SMS to him. Needless to say I had received a harsh SMS from him haha.

 

[dimpxtt]

once everything is over..
bound to be ugly..

 

[denise80]

Pardon me but I find returning gifts to ex bf/gf a rather immature act. I dun do it and dun expect my ex to do it either. I also dun demand current bf or hubby to throw things away. Put away yes but no need to discard or return. It's all in the mind and heart if u still feel hurt and can't forget. Sg is so small. We can't possibly migrat like someone said earlier. U r bound to go to places where u and ur ex frequent isn't it?

 

[koala82]

This thread remind me of my ex. I ditched him while he was still serving his time. Told him I want a breakoff during one of the visitation visit. He was quiet when I told him that. However, on the next visit, he told me, he wanted his necklace back. The necklace was something which I bought for him, den before he was incarcerated, he gave me the necklace I gave him. I told okok, will go and serach for it. But damn.. I did not bother to go and find it. I tot to myself, he want he can always go and buy one himself.

 

[purplesky379]

Personally I felt that if certain things were on loan has to be returned. But there are bound to have selfish people around to deny it, like my ex. My sister's ex-bf insisted that she must returned him the money he spent on meals and movies during their dating days else she can't break off with him. She chose to ignore and he will send SMS to her pestering for it. After awhile the guy gave up..

 

[miloice]

my ex actually wanted me to quote a price for all i have spent on her... i was literally broke when we broke up. of cos i refused.

 

[koala82]

***FAINT***

To think such people still exist!!!

 

[babystorm]

Milo, your ex is so 'good'! Should quote higher and see if she will really pay you. Haha.

 

[miloice]

its stupid... i spent the money willingly. What's there to pay back. A person's emotions and time cannot be paid back one.

 

[awakened]

An ex from many years back asked me to return a couple of CDs that he lent me. I did not finish watching them before we broke up. He actually counted if any CD was missing when I returned them. Hahah.

As for if I would use gifts from an ex, why not? These objects diminish greatly in sentimental value when the giver becomes an ex.

 

[vios]

ya milo, i find that it was insulting at the very least. wtf was the ex thinking? might as well suggest to pay "maintenance fees". haha...

 

[pasir_ris_beach]

agree with vios

oops i even clean forgot abt the gifts that i bought for my ex hubby or the gifts he bought for me but i remembered after we divorced, i dumped everything in the house except those photos that we took during courtships and my daughter's baby photos. Did not even take along the wedding photos as i dun want to be reminded of them as it was so painful at that time.

now 6 years already and i almost forgot everything, i admit. even this thread does not ring a bell in my head??? so what is happening to my memory bank?

but again i see no point in demanding anything from ex. Just be gracious n move on with my life.

 

[jefferson_edison]

Memories is something that cannot be erase from the mind completely.

You will still remember him as he is part of your life. been with you and leave traces behind. not the gifts or presents but it's the trances of life. it can be a deep cut in the heart, after it heal, it leave with a scar, and the scar got lighten daily. but how light the scar can be, it's still there and remain there forever.

Just use the gift, wear the clothing. he sure got give you good memories. so think about the good stuff and try to forget about the bad of him. live life as it is.

You 2 might have separated. due to something /somebody / some incident. but you no need to throw his stuff away. just use it...

When the items he gave you is too old for you to use, or broken already... you will change the bag, clothing etc... but something will not change, is the histroy, when he've been with you before.

 

[amulet]

i still uses the perfume he've got for me.. and also the PSP before it eventually become a white elephant and completely spoiled now since my daughter kept dropping it.. haha..

use it as there is no more emotional value for me.. juz simply becoz it's nice and usable..

if i throw away before finishing it, seems like such a waste..

 

[sgbabydoll]

"As for if I would use gifts from an ex, why not? These objects diminish greatly in sentimental value when the giver becomes an ex."

That's true. If my bf were to tell me not to use an item given by an ex I would think he is simply too petty and insecure.

 

[paperboat]

I kept them and I'm still using them. Like necklaces, bags and sweaters etc. I see it them as useful items of no sentimental values anymore.

So why waste it?

 

[sgbabydoll]

I don't know how anyone could end up having to account for gifts from ex-es to their current partner!! Did they start by showing off to their current partner that this LV wallet or that pair of Marc Jacobs sunnies is from their ex??

Objects are objects. You don't have to tell him/her how each and every piece was acquired what cos that's not important at all.

 

[poitto]

i'm going thru something like tat at this moment of time too... however i didn't throw or return anything... i'm still using them... i believe the numbing effect... haha... once you get used to it, you will get over it...

abt the places we used to go, i actually frequent them more often - again the numbing effect... create new memories with different ppl at the same place so that you wont just remember the sad stuff...

i laugh till pengz when i see powder's tread on
oh just amazed mah...
"i read this thread, i have this mental picture of walking down orchard, then every few steps i see a despondant person sitting on the side bench, holding their wallets/bags/shoes and looking at it Becos it was from their ex..."

hahaha...
eh.. can someone enlighten me wat's TS? TOW? too chim for me la... i'm new here...

 

[ajumma]

just threw away a leather wallet from my ex cos it seh kor (grew mould).

 

[simpleman]

I wonder if people are really so weak? It is only a gift.. it has no value and is nothing unless we give it value.

Ex is still an ex. There is no need to go to great lengths to return or remove things.

I am divorced. Many of the things that we bought over the years when we travelled are still with me. I have some jewelery/gold chains (mine) still with my ex-wife (safe-deposit box). I don't even bother to ask for it back.

When I travel overseas, I still buy a bag or two for her. And recently she just gave me $500 M1 voucher to buy mobile phone because she knows I keep gadgets up to date.

And what numbing effects? What memories? Arent we masters of our own minds?

 

[powder]

tat's precisely wat i was trying to say... it's too dramatic, half the time it's for the sake of it.

 

[sgbabydoll]

Some people are giving life to the objects they own.

 

[burga]

Hmm... my ex returned the wedding photos album to me and requested me to return the jewelleries (esp si-dian-jing) that was given to me on our customary... but he kept the jewelleries that were given by my relatives during the tea-ceremony...

 

[kittenpie]

Blurgal, did you accede to his request?

 

[simpleman]

may ong, why you so kaypoh?

 

[kittenpie]

i want to learn more by finding out what other people are doing ...

i am trying to establish what are the market 'rates', if these do exist ...