Do we have to write name behind the ang pao collected during the dinner?


jasmine23

New Member
i usu write s to take note how much i received from them s to facilirate me to give them AP when i attended their dinner in the future.
 

mrsyap

New Member
But do we have e time to write all of it?? what if suddenly all come at e same time... haha.. or maybe we can do abt 2-4 separate ang pao box.. 2 for Hubby's relatives, friends.. 2 for our relatives, friends.. like so kiasu hur.. hahaa
 

cactus_79

New Member
depends on how efficient the reception helpers are.. and how your guests arrive!
happy.gif
 

snowbell42

New Member
but i thot usu they will write their names at the back right? unless they really give so little till dun dare to reveal their names lor haha
 

shycloud

New Member
but mostly guests will indicate their names behind the AP...its only the minorities that will exclude...its easier to filter out those and find out who the "culprits" are!
 

rosewhite

New Member
Hi gals,
what abt those who really never write their names on the angbaos, can we ask them to write on the spot or ask the reception helpers write for them? My friend's wedding held last yr has a few angbaos with no names.. dont know who are they from. Out of the few, there are some which contains "small amt" but also had those market angbao rates too. Me thinking if on that day also collected those without names, like a bit confused whether wil be giving right amt back to bride's side if all bride's side angbaos giving back to them.

Btw, do most guests give their angbaos to the angbaos box nowadays? or still give the elders?
 

hapimint

New Member
some guests will give to the elders... what u can do is to tell ur parents and PIL in advance that in order for more control, it is best to give the ang bao back to the reception table first....
Then get the girls at the reception table to write for them....
My SO says that he intend to do that... make sure that all cannot run away
 

rosewhite

New Member
Hi Mindy.. thats a good idea..it makes things much easier now. thx!! So after the banquet, me & hubby will collect all the angbaos & count total from bride's relatives side..record down the amt then give to bride's side right?
 

hapimint

New Member
My SO says that he will not touch all the bride side hong bao... will return to my parents sealed so that they will not be offended... haha... but it is the fact that we can have better control and make sure that we "return" whatever favour that they give us in the future... haha... my SO quite petty....
 

rosewhite

New Member
Hi Mindy..
i see.. in a way, it does sound better to return the bride's side angbao without opening then sealing back again..but we couples will not be able to know how much was being given by individual guests hor. So your intend to return the angbaos on the very night after the banquet?
 

tyingknot2007

New Member
hi,
usually bride's parents will also record down the ang pao amount given by relative as they also need to return the ang pao when it is their turn. so no worry about not knowing the amount. Bride can also let their parents know to jote down. But i guess they should know.
 

pinkpony

New Member
Hi ladies,

I hope to think that we're all inviting guest to share our joy and that magical moment on our day.

I don't agree on recording how much the ang pao amount as I feel whatever given is supposed to be a token as their thoughts and to give us a little helping hand in terms of financially.

In my opinion, we don't have to judge how much the person gives to our wedding and have to 'return' the same amount. I think all these comes from the bottom of your heart and ability.

Just my two cents worth
happy.gif
 

hapimint

New Member
my parents will take note of the amount so after the wedding dinner, I will tell my SO to pack up the AP to give back my parents....
 

cactus_79

New Member
Hi Miss Lala...
My ILs asked my hb and I to note down how much others give... and also, where there is little connection between people (like business associates), previously given APs set a benchmark for our parents. For close friends and relatives, definately no need to record.
 

monkie

New Member
for my friend, she wrote down names for every AP. she say that is important to benchmark how much they are going to give in future.

for me, i doubt its necessary.
 

cheekychick

New Member
Hmmm...juz wondering abt this situation. If ur fren holds her wedding at luxury hotels, its only the norm dat we give at least $100 rite? But when it comes to our turn & we hold at normal restaurants, i dun tink we can expect them to give us back $100 loh...Or would u guys do dat too? Give back same amt no matter wat?
 

pinkloveang

New Member
Erm....i think hor... even if we expect our fren to give us back $100, they may not give that much lor. So I think, more or less, wedding dinners will lose abit lah.
 

applestarz

New Member
Hi,

I heard from friends that name should be written at the back so that next time when the other party marry, have to give back the same amount.. or more if you're feeling rich la. haha
 

monkie

New Member
most AP i collected have their name there.
i didnt not ask my reception girls to write down names behind ang pows.

in future if the person invite me to their wedding, i will give according to the restaurant they invite and make sure the amount is being covered (they wun lose $).
 

shyantiffy

New Member
'm doing 2 angbao box for my wedding,,,cos it'll be easier to to a sorting & recording.. thats wat me & my hubby felt la...
 

benbenfish

New Member
Hi...
Want to check with u all, the $$ for our wedding dinner is pay by us... how to aviod the elder ppl to pass the angbao to the parent sides? I want the guests to write their name behind the angbao... and I dont want those guests pass the angbao to parent/PIL... it's very troublesome for keep in track... anyone can give a good suggestion?
 

vallous

New Member
hi fish hu,

perhaps tell parents to put back at the reception boxes is the best. Elders will still pass to parents.

Just to let you know. No matter if you are paying the dinner or not, usually angbao money is supposed to be pocketed by parents. This is to symbolise the gratitude for bringing us up. Thus called the 'table money'. Its never a good idea to recoup losses or so called earn back money when your intention is to "invite people to your wedding dinner to eat". So its best to get a restaurant or hotel that you both couple can afford within your means. Never use the angbao money to subsidise the bill.

Just my two cents worth.
 

vallous

New Member
also...parents nowadays are kind enough not to take back the angbaos..its a good will from them. So appreciate them. if possible, let them keep some of the angbaos.
 

vivaliciousviv

New Member
hmmm....

can sb advise me the ang baos collected how to distribute??

WE intend to use the $$$ to pay off stuff la, din really earn a profit or wat..sianz...haaaa...

or actually the tables given by my in laws to my parents thE $$$ shld b given to my parents for the 15 tables??? please email me!

[email protected]

thanks!~!
 

iwasabride

New Member
Hi vivian,

From my understanding this is how it works...

For e.g. there are 20 tables with you taking 8 tables and FH 12 tables. Let's say your FH is giving your family 5 tables..

ALL angpows from the 8 tables your parents collect on your side they will keep. Same goes to your FH's side.

But at the end of the banquet, your parents have to return the cost of 3 tables back to your FH, which means the cost of the 5 tables are free.

Total bill your FH have to foot for the banquet is for 17 tables..

Hope this helps!
happy.gif


(Welcome to my blog for more wedding planning tips!)
 

sweetcyanide

New Member
is it a must to give ang baos back to parents?? me and SO paying the whole wedding by ourselves... i thought we only need to give if they pay for the dinner? please advise.. And i see that you all mostly mentioned about giving to bride's side. is it a must?
 

supergal

New Member
think about it...now you invite your relatives and parents' frens and the ang pao money they give you will be kept by now..

then in future when your relative or parents' frens invite your parents for their children wedding, your parents will have to come up with the money for the ang pao..

that's why some couples will give part of their banquet ang paos to their parents, even though we are paying the entire banquet on our own
 

zerochristy

New Member
My bro & his wife inform their reception helpers to reminds the family members & friends to write their name behind the AP
happy.gif
 

lovie_dovie

New Member
Helloha!

For my wedding, my hubby and i told our parents NOT to keep ang baos if relatives or frens were to give them!

They are okay wif the arrangement that we set.

On our actual day, whatever angbao "they" received, they walk to the reception and say "who who" gave them the angbao and my brothers/sisters, help to write down the person's name.

The angbao box was also placed "away" from guests' reach but of course, within their sight. If they want to slot on their own, they would need my reception's help. And so, if they didn't write their name, my reception will know.

Reason for this is to enable us to "give" back the amt they give us. It's rather silly(i thought) to give someone $160 when the person whom came to my wedding gave me only $100. Without the names being written, we also wouldnt know who gave us $20/$30!!!

In total, i had 50 tables and out of the 50 tables, only 20 ang bao was without names!!! My poor reception has done a excellent job!!!
happy.gif


Enlisting your parents and reception's help is the best way of getting all names written down!!!

I had a fren who had 30 tables for her wedding and only ONE angbao is without name and of course, from ur list, u surely know who is that!!!
 

snow_angel

New Member
We don't intend to write down the names. My friends were telling me that we need to write names down so that we can give back the same amount to them. But what if they give $60 for a restaurant wedding dinner a few years ago? And when they have a wedding dinner in a good hotel, we can't possibly give $60 to them. I understand that it acts as a benchmark but it's too troublesome because time and venue will change.

I had seen my friend quarreling with her jie mei when her jie mei forgot to write a few names on the ang baos. Why should we let this matter trouble us and trouble our friends at the reception to write the names down? They are at the wedding to celebrate with you and not to work for you irregardless whether you give ang bao to them.

To me, it's very important to invite people who are genuinely happy to celebrate your joyous wedding day rather than Ah Kou and Ah Mou because 99% of the times, they will give you the market rate depending on the venue that you hold.

No offence but I need to say this. If you intend to get married and even invite Ah Kou and Ah Mou, you must have the money to bear the loses. I had seen some people inviting people who are not close to them just because to occupy the tables. You think they are genuinely happy? Their mentality is "Aiya, need to give ang bao!" rather than "I am so happy to see you getting married and look forward to that day". If you do not have the money to bear the loses, then don't get married and wait while earning more.
 

canloveant

New Member
Their mentality is "Aiya, need to give ang bao!" rather than "I am so happy to see you getting married and look forward to that day". ---> strongly agree!!
 

Top