But do we have e time to write all of it?? what if suddenly all come at e same time... haha.. or maybe we can do abt 2-4 separate ang pao box.. 2 for Hubby's relatives, friends.. 2 for our relatives, friends.. like so kiasu hur.. hahaa
what abt those who really never write their names on the angbaos, can we ask them to write on the spot or ask the reception helpers write for them? My friend's wedding held last yr has a few angbaos with no names.. dont know who are they from. Out of the few, there are some which contains "small amt" but also had those market angbao rates too. Me thinking if on that day also collected those without names, like a bit confused whether wil be giving right amt back to bride's side if all bride's side angbaos giving back to them.
Btw, do most guests give their angbaos to the angbaos box nowadays? or still give the elders?
some guests will give to the elders... what u can do is to tell ur parents and PIL in advance that in order for more control, it is best to give the ang bao back to the reception table first....
Then get the girls at the reception table to write for them....
My SO says that he intend to do that... make sure that all cannot run away
Hi Mindy.. thats a good idea..it makes things much easier now. thx!! So after the banquet, me & hubby will collect all the angbaos & count total from bride's relatives side..record down the amt then give to bride's side right?
My SO says that he will not touch all the bride side hong bao... will return to my parents sealed so that they will not be offended... haha... but it is the fact that we can have better control and make sure that we "return" whatever favour that they give us in the future... haha... my SO quite petty....
i see.. in a way, it does sound better to return the bride's side angbao without opening then sealing back again..but we couples will not be able to know how much was being given by individual guests hor. So your intend to return the angbaos on the very night after the banquet?
usually bride's parents will also record down the ang pao amount given by relative as they also need to return the ang pao when it is their turn. so no worry about not knowing the amount. Bride can also let their parents know to jote down. But i guess they should know.
Hi Miss Lala...
My ILs asked my hb and I to note down how much others give... and also, where there is little connection between people (like business associates), previously given APs set a benchmark for our parents. For close friends and relatives, definately no need to record.
Hmmm...juz wondering abt this situation. If ur fren holds her wedding at luxury hotels, its only the norm dat we give at least $100 rite? But when it comes to our turn & we hold at normal restaurants, i dun tink we can expect them to give us back $100 loh...Or would u guys do dat too? Give back same amt no matter wat?
Want to check with u all, the $$ for our wedding dinner is pay by us... how to aviod the elder ppl to pass the angbao to the parent sides? I want the guests to write their name behind the angbao... and I dont want those guests pass the angbao to parent/PIL... it's very troublesome for keep in track... anyone can give a good suggestion?
perhaps tell parents to put back at the reception boxes is the best. Elders will still pass to parents.
Just to let you know. No matter if you are paying the dinner or not, usually angbao money is supposed to be pocketed by parents. This is to symbolise the gratitude for bringing us up. Thus called the 'table money'. Its never a good idea to recoup losses or so called earn back money when your intention is to "invite people to your wedding dinner to eat". So its best to get a restaurant or hotel that you both couple can afford within your means. Never use the angbao money to subsidise the bill.
is it a must to give ang baos back to parents?? me and SO paying the whole wedding by ourselves... i thought we only need to give if they pay for the dinner? please advise.. And i see that you all mostly mentioned about giving to bride's side. is it a must?
For my wedding, my hubby and i told our parents NOT to keep ang baos if relatives or frens were to give them!
They are okay wif the arrangement that we set.
On our actual day, whatever angbao "they" received, they walk to the reception and say "who who" gave them the angbao and my brothers/sisters, help to write down the person's name.
The angbao box was also placed "away" from guests' reach but of course, within their sight. If they want to slot on their own, they would need my reception's help. And so, if they didn't write their name, my reception will know.
Reason for this is to enable us to "give" back the amt they give us. It's rather silly(i thought) to give someone $160 when the person whom came to my wedding gave me only $100. Without the names being written, we also wouldnt know who gave us $20/$30!!!
In total, i had 50 tables and out of the 50 tables, only 20 ang bao was without names!!! My poor reception has done a excellent job!!!
Enlisting your parents and reception's help is the best way of getting all names written down!!!
I had a fren who had 30 tables for her wedding and only ONE angbao is without name and of course, from ur list, u surely know who is that!!!
We don't intend to write down the names. My friends were telling me that we need to write names down so that we can give back the same amount to them. But what if they give $60 for a restaurant wedding dinner a few years ago? And when they have a wedding dinner in a good hotel, we can't possibly give $60 to them. I understand that it acts as a benchmark but it's too troublesome because time and venue will change.
I had seen my friend quarreling with her jie mei when her jie mei forgot to write a few names on the ang baos. Why should we let this matter trouble us and trouble our friends at the reception to write the names down? They are at the wedding to celebrate with you and not to work for you irregardless whether you give ang bao to them.
To me, it's very important to invite people who are genuinely happy to celebrate your joyous wedding day rather than Ah Kou and Ah Mou because 99% of the times, they will give you the market rate depending on the venue that you hold.
No offence but I need to say this. If you intend to get married and even invite Ah Kou and Ah Mou, you must have the money to bear the loses. I had seen some people inviting people who are not close to them just because to occupy the tables. You think they are genuinely happy? Their mentality is "Aiya, need to give ang bao!" rather than "I am so happy to see you getting married and look forward to that day". If you do not have the money to bear the loses, then don't get married and wait while earning more.