Divorce, what is the procedure?



Hi, I'm a guy. I'm married and she is not unfaithful to me. If I wish to file for divorce due to some incompatible reasons, what is the procedure to do? Find a lawyer?

If have a HDB flat under shared name, how to "handle" the flat? Is it necessary to sell it away? If initially she contributed more CPF than me in the purchase of the flat, when the flat is sold, will the same amt of CPF which she had contributed be returned to her?

Maintainence fee. Is it necessary to pay her maintainence fee even though she didn't ask for it?

What are the different fees involved?

I know this is a sad thing to discuss, but for those who have gone through it, can pls share some experience?



New Member
Hi TD, are you very sure you want a divorce? Have you n ur wife really sit down and talk things out?


New Member
TD - there are 5 reasons under which you can file for a divorce. a)infidelity (eg : extra marital affair) b)unreasonable behaviour by 1 party c)extreme hardship suffered by 1 party (eg:abuse) d)living apart for 3 yrs whereby both parties consent to the divorce f)missing personnel for 2 yrs whereby only 1 party needs to consent to the divorce

if you are filing for divorce under reason of incompatibility, than you can only file after you can prove that you guys have live apart for 3yrs. pls note that living apart in different countries is not considered as living apart. here living apart refers to not in emotional contact. thus, if you guys have not fulfilled this 3yr criteria, all that you could do now is to file for separation and its only 3 yrs aftre filing that you can file for a divorce. pls note that separation does not equate divorce. separation papers is just a safeguard for both parties that you will not be living together as husband and wife and both parties is not supposed to interfere with the other's life. but status wise, you are still 'married'.

flat wise, whatever that she contributes will go back to her. howwver, to make things easler, most ppl will opt to have a percentage attached in the separation papers. eg: 60% to the hubby and 40% to the wife. pls note also that hdb flat can only be sold off on matrurity - 5 yrs! meaning if you do not meet this, you can only sell it back to hdb and not in the open market. when you sell it to hdb, you can only sell it off at either a)the old px in which you bought b)90%market value, whichever is lower. meaning you will NEVER make a profit in this case.

NO , you don;t have to pay her maintenance if shes not asking for it. everything here is actually base on both of your agreement. however, if she asked for maintenance, there's no way in which you can escape a minimal amt awarded by court should there be a dispute.

separtation pprs can range from 200 - 1500, dependent on which law firm you use and which lawyer you use. divorce will cost you another 4000. (estimation. dependent on the law firm you use too!)

i have not gone thru this but my whole family conprise of law enforcing personnel. hehehehe...my sis and bro and dad. hopefully i am right. sometimes, i think i should have taken up law instead....

despite all that i have said, do think twice about getting the divorce. i always think that men are forgetful creatures. you forget the times when you were so in love with your gf (now wife), you forgot the times when you so wanted to marry her, you forgot the times when she went thru high and lows with you....


hi cool,

since u r more informed abt such matters, could i ask you some questions abt divorce as well?

my mum would like to divorce my dad, for the reason that she cannot reasonably be expected to live with him. he gave her a lot of emotional stress, financial burden and even physical abuse (when we were young). my mum intends to sell their flat and give a portion to my dad and then file for divorce.

is it up to my parents to decide how much they want to divide the proceeds amg themselves? or will it be determined by the court?

what if my dad refuses to sign the divorce papers?

another question is my brother is 20 this year. can he choose which parent he wishes to follow or will the court decide?

lastly, if my dad stalks my mum, what kind of actions can we take against him?

would greatly appreciate any advice tat u could give.


New Member
Hi TD,

Just wanna add to what cool said about the hdb flat... you have another alternative which is to form another family nucleus with your parents or hopefully, by the end of the 3 yrs' separation period, with someone else whom you find you can live with for the rest of your life...

Also, the divorce proceedings will take a few months after the 3-year separation period to be fully settled... u need to get sort of absolute decree nisi before u can register for a new marriage...

My advice to you is to think carefully before u make any decision... this is a very serious matter and it's going to affect not only the 2 of you but your families as well... if ur wife has not been unfaithful to you, I don't think she deserves a divorce... u might want to try marital counselling before making any decision...


New Member
Hi all,

I am married for less than 3 years. My husband has an affair. I wish to divorce with him, but I do not wish to sign the deed of separation for 3 years.

Are there any ways that I can get out of this marriage soon?

P/S: We had serveral arguments on this matter, he simply denied and made up lies. That made me lose heart n thus decide to give up.


New Member
Hi Lady,

If you want to proceed straight to divorce without separation, you need to produce concrete evidence that he is having an affair (like PI's photo report).

Will pray for your well-being and take care.


New Member

Thanks for the reply.
If he admits to the adultery charge, we can proceed to divorce str away?


New Member

We in the similar case, only tat we have already settle the issue.

My mum when to family court for advise. She filed for personnal protection against my dad. So anything happen, like ur dad beat her or giving her emotional abuse, u can call the police for help that is when she got the PPO (personal protection order) from court. Ur mum can also apply the PPO for all of u if needed against ur dad if he abuse anyone of u as well.

The process doesnt take 3 yrs but it wasnt very short, abt 1-2 where the court force my dad to signed the divorce letter cos he is really a serious problem for us.

I forget is 18 or 21 where the children can chose who they want to be. But by the time the procedure coming to the children on whether they wanted to stay with mum or dad i think ur brother wld have reach 21.

However, during the divorce process. the court will assign one counsellor to the family and make assessment of the issue. If he feel that both parties really cant be together then they wld submit the report to the court for the suggestion of divorce.

For my case, event he counsellor said my dad is a gone case.

I hope all these information helps. Do stay with ur mum, she need alot of support to go thru the process especially if ur dad wld stalk ur mum.


New Member
Nope... unless there are other reasons which warrants an annulment.

Please do note that divorce proceedings can only be commenced if the parties have been married for at least 3 years, regardless of the reason for the divorce.


New Member

That means for my case, I'll have to sign the deed of separation and wait for 3 yrs before I can file for divorce?

If I wait for my marriage to be 3 yrs, can I file for divorce immediately, meaning to say I do not hv to be separated for another 3 yrs b4 filing for divorce.

Hope my qns are clear enough.


New Member
If you have concrete evidence to show that he is having an affair... yes you can file for a divorce immediately after you pass the 3 year mark of your marriage.


New Member
Seems like so many of us wanted to get divorce. I am one of them too.
I just sign my seperation deed two days ago. Lawyer said that even he commit adultery, we cannot divorce immediately cos we married less than three years. However, i back dated the time of separation so that I can divorce him earlier, dun need to wait three years from now.


New Member
Hi eve,

Glad that I can find someone who is in the similar situation. How do you back dated the time of separation?

How much did you pay for the deed of separation? Because I have yet to source for a lawyer.

Thank You !


New Member
I pay $400.00. Just stated in the deed when you are living apart, I put three months after my ROM. Thus this way I can divorce earlier.


New Member
Hi all

Just to let you know that, HDB has been pretty "flexible" these days as it considers case-by-case basis. For example, if your flat is not due for maturity (less than 5 years), you can approach the HDB branch for appeal. I do know of cases whereby they take in consideration of divorce cases and allow the couple to bring forward the maturity date such that the couple can sell the flat in open market or one of them to form family nucleus to buy the other party's share.

These days, to be honest, you don't really need to wait 3 years separation if your lawyer cannot find "solid" reason for divorce. I have seen lawyers (they must be good) to help the couple write a good petition just based on character incompatibility and the divorce was made on "unreasonable behaviour" without 3-year separation. However, the petition contents must be agreed by both of you.

I remember my lawyer telling me that especially, for girls, we can't buy time and youth. We have to think what we want, just because we want to wait for the flat to mature or 3-year separation to come to the end, it's not worth it for ladies. She's really thought about my welfare and fought for my rights.


New Member
Hi Sailor P,

What you said is so true. All these wasted time waiting for the 3 year separation and flat to mature. But what to do? I've already filed the 3 year separation (a lawyer's recommendation). A free legal counsel recently told me I can't speed up the divorce but must honour the 3 year separation since I'm the one who asked for it. Is that true?

You seem to know quite a lot about divorce matters. May I ask? I paid more than $700 for the separation alone. How much will the divorce likely cost? Any good enough lawyers to recommend who also charge reasonable fees?

As I wrote in another thread, my husband has left the country cos of debts. Free legal counsel tells me the onus is on me to find him. I can only foresee even higher legal fees to be incurred. And if I can't find him, what I my alternatives?


New Member
Hi blythecrazy

I went through one myself too. If you are interested, please leave behind your email address and I can email you my lawyer's contact. She's really good, though she can be very fierce cos she makes sure that her clients are all well-taken care off.

My lawyer was able to find a reason to persuade my ex-hubby to pay for the legal fees. However, there are anxilary charges of about S$1000 which includes drawing your will and sever the joint-tenancy cos my lawyer says that you never know what the other party may do with your property etc. I heard for a peaceful divorce, the fees is about S$1.5k. Now, if there's complication it can go up higher.


New Member
I heard tat u only can register ur marriage 3 months after u received decree nisi absolute, issit true?


New Member

Can you send me your lawyer's contact. Kindly email me at : [email protected]



New Member
Hi sailor,

My case is more of a annulment. (Think tats how it spell)I marry for less than 3 years, no flat, no nothing.

Does your lawyer do such case too?


New Member
Hi sailor,

My case is more of an annulment. I marry for less than 3 years. No flat, no nothing.

Does your lawyer do such case too?


New Member
Hi girlie

I've sent you the contact. Hope it helps.


It all depends on the other party whether he/she is agreeable. You see, divorce is not as simple as it is, there are many auxiliary issues like flat, money, children etc. The length of divorce depends on case-by-case basis. Have u gone for counselling with your other half? Divorce is the solution unless the other party is not willing to reconcile.



New Member
Anybody have any experience with regards to Muslim divorce matters?

I have a female collegue who is a victim of family violence and now wants a divorce with her abusive husband. Unfortunately, the Muslim law seems to be even more sticky with regards to divorce.

Will appreciate any help and advise from you.


New Member

I think its best ur colleague seeks the advice of a muslim lawyer. she can always call the law society up to direct her to one if she doesn't know of any.

don't think anyone of us here would be in the position to give advice here.


New Member
hi sailor,

Would like to hv ur lawyer's contact.My email is [email protected].

my case, my husband posted for overseas job before our ROM last year. many problems arise as snce he was in overseas while i was in singapore simply waiting for him for months.We did not have house ,kids and we are not living together. Wondering if i could file for anulement.


New Member
Our marriage is now less than 3 years. After staying together for sometime, both me & my wife realised that we are incompatible. After some serious talk, we had conclude that divorce would be the best for us & hence decided to end this marriage. We have a HDB flat under the name of myself, my wife & her sister. Initially, the house is under the name of the 2 sisters. After our marriage, I add my name to the house & use my CPF to fully paid for the house. How do we go about to end this marriage & settle the house problem.
Please email me at [email protected]


New Member

Anyone can help me?My hubby keep saying want to divorce due to some misunderstanding with my family that make us keep quarrel. He refused to listen our clarification. Now, I'm in preg.condition, but seems he just care for himself and her anger.I try to asked him forget the past and all unhappy things and move on with our life, but he chose to live in his bitter life. He resigned from the job and now jobless. I'm still try to treat him nicely, help him out financially, but he didn't appreciate. Just a small things mistake, he's unhappy, and say want to divorce. Actually, it's not the first time, but always after interfere from his family, he cool down, but this time looks he's quite stubborn. He ever divorce before. He's the self-centred type who very quick point the finger to blame others instead of himself if something going wrong.Sometime, it's really unreasonable excuse that he used.Never admit defeat one.Our marriage is less than 3 years.Financially, I'm having more than him.My question is can he file for separation if one party refuse to sign. Is separation valid if only one party requests it? I'm foreigner. If I go back to my country,will it give him a reason to file for the divorce? Last time,his ex-wife left her after 9 mth marriage. All the time, he kept saying his ex fault which I doubt about it now. Thanks for the advise.



If only one party files for separation, then it take 4 yrs to divorce instead of 3 yrs. As for reasons for divorce, if can quote incidents based on unreasonable behaviour, then divorce will not need separation period.

YOu mean you are preggy and he still treats you like that?!What are you gonna do?! Anyway to work things out? Maybe you both can seek counselling if the root of the problems are due to you family..Pls take care

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