Divorce Fee enquiry - please help.

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worthless

New Member
If I am filing for a divorce soon and going to seek a laywer myself and in my case my ex went to approach another lawyer to help him with our divorce. Does it mean that we each pay for our own legal fee? ie. Divcorce charges $3k.

So we end up with our divorce costing $6k in total? Or within the 2 lawyers we spilting our divorce fee into 2?

He did that ( find his own lawyer) when I send him a DOS 3 years back and that's when we started 'letters war' between our lawyers asking and demanding for things. But in the end he refuse to sign coz i refuse to pay him back the $ spend on our wedding expenses (Dinner/honeymoon etc) which he asked for. And we ended up no longer in talking terms.

Or should i just wait for him to file and act as a defendent without approaching for a lawyer? I dun wan anything from him not even maintenance fee. I just want my 'freedom' back. We dun have house/kids or etc.
 


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simpleman

Active Member
If you are not dying for divorce then wait for him. BUt if you want a clean break fast, then you file for it (and mostly you pay or unless he agreed to pay part of it).
 
W

wrongchoice

New Member
Hi Me and the Husband are going to file for a divorce. I wanted to get a lawyer but husband refused to pay for it. He said he is going to file by himself. Can it be done a divorce without a lawyer?

He had cheated me many times and he always took advantages to me due to my lack of knowledge. He never wanted to divorce me no matter how many time we quarrel until his sister came and lived with us. She is a relationship saboteur and I was trapped by all her plans. Finally we end up with going for divorce. I cant trust him now coz his sis and his parents are controlling him now. I think I need a lawyer or I will be in trouble...

We bought a HDB flat from government directly last 2 years ago. I have no idea how we can settle for this matter. I knew that we cant sell it in open market and we must return it to HDB. But no idea how much HDB will refund for that.

I really need to have a legal advice. Pls recommend me a good lawyer with a reasonable fee to contact.

I am looking forward to end this miserable marriage with win win situation.
 
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kenzo20

New Member
Hi Su,

Does yr hb want to keep the flat? If he does, you can suggest to him buying over yr share instead.
For HDB flats less than the occupancy period of 5yrs, you only got 2 choices - either to surrender back to HDB or transfer ownership of flat.
Hope this can help you.
 
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wrongchoice

New Member
Hi Kenzo,

Thanks for your advice. He also cant have it as he is not 35 yet. Surrender means we are going to lose everything we paid for it?
That would be bad. It is true that bad luck doesnt come alone.

I would like to know a contact of a good and cheap lawyer. Anyone can help me???
 
K

kenzo20

New Member
Hi SU,

I was in much of a similar plight as you. My Hb was not 35 yet. If surrender the flat to HDB, both of you are going to lose equally.
Unless he is willing to buy yr share of the flat.This is also subjective to HDB approval.
 
R

reindeer

New Member
Hi SU

Maybe you can call up HDB to check up with them regarding your case and i believe they can advice you.. As for the legal advice maybe HOH lawyer firm can help you as I just file my separation wif them and find their fee quite reasonable and they offer few legal advice. My house also 3 years but after 3 years of separation then we are just in time to sell of the house.
 
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wrongchoice

New Member
Hi Kenzo and Yappie,

Thanks for your reply to my question.

Yappie, how much do they charge you? Regarding HDB, I will call and check it out then. Hope not to lose everything.

Thanks again.
 
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sgbabydoll

Active Member
Su

Is it a MUST that you get a quick divorce? If not, you can separate from your husband first and wait for the flat to hit the minimum five years of occupancy.
 
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reindeer

New Member
Hi SU

I pay abt 900 for the whole separation process but is uncontested by both side, that mean my hubby will not get another lawyer to fight with the conditions. Anyway I did not ask for maintence but only I will stay in the flat and he continue to pay for everything (instalment, bills and taxes). If the separation is contested that from what I understand will be more costly.
 
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sgbabydoll

Active Member
Actually, there is no such thing as contested separation. As long as one party decides to live apart from the other party it is considered separation. You don't even have to pay money for a Deed of Separation done. Contestable matters usually concern alimony, child custody, division of joint properties, or even the claims laid out by the plaintiff to support his/her reason for wanting a divorce.
 
W

wrongchoice

New Member
Hi Yappie,

$900 is not that much. I can consider to get a lawyer then. Thanks for info.

For your case, out of my curiosity, how did you manage to ask your hb to pay for everything yet you will stay in the flat? That is good for you. Will he stay at that flat too? What is the arrangement for the flat aft MOP? Will you let him retain the flat? That's why he is paying for everything now?

I dont have any idea to solve my problem yet. Still finding for solution for win win situation.
My hb is not a gentle man. He dare to use woman money with thick skin. He never paid for the bill whenever we ate out. He even asked me to pay for what he bought and never paid me back. He is that kind of person so it might be difficult to ask him for my share back.

I do regret for my wrong choice. It made my life up side down indeed. Hope any single girls can learn from my mistake.
 
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reindeer

New Member
Hi Su

Do not think too much about the past just concentrate on planning your future. As for me, he is willingly pay for everything from the first day we moved in and we separated because he think we need a cool off period. That why i file for separation as the lawyer said the guy can say we did not separated if he still want to hang on to you in the future. He has moved out and whether will we get back together or not I not thinking abt that at the moment anymore. If after 3 years we really divorce then we most likely will sell of the flat.

If you file separation and he refuse to sign then both of you can only divorce after 4 years. you can list down the things who paying for what in the deed if he disagree he can find a lawyer to fight for him. But of course if you two can agree can save up on the legal fee.

Of course if you still want the marriage you can also consider counseling with him.
 
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worthless

New Member
Need so advices -

I have received the 'consent' form from my ex's lawyer based on 3 years separation.

Can i understand that once i signed this consent my ex wont ask anything from me (i.e money/legal fee) as its not stated anywhere in the legal letter that i need to spilt the cost with him.

Or after signing there still a possiblilites that he can then draft another consent for ancillary matters?

Please advice as i need to return the consent within 7 days of his letter.
 
M

m28

New Member
Its tough... perhaps its better that you consult some lawywer? guess noone's sure of this and didn't want to mislead you hence noone has stepped forth with any advice for you..

Su, you sound like a very meek woman, go find out your rights and entitlement in the divorce process then take some time to think over what you want, and will need to get on with your life..don't be pushed over or allow yourself to be taken advantage off and settle for less ok.. good luck..
 
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worthless

New Member
Dolp,

Thanks so much... Already consult a lawyer and have since called up his lawyer to clarify on some issues.
 
W

wrongchoice

New Member
Hi Dolp,

Thanks for ur advice...

I dun wanna fight... All I want is to overcome this and I want to start a new life...I m even thinking of giving this flat to him instead of surrender to HDB. I am still waiting for HDB reply... But on the other hand I dun want his sis to stay in our flat. Our marriage is broken down coz of her.

I am sorry to read abt Worthless Case and I thought that we all should learn from this painful experience and hope that was the first and last mistake that we have done with marriage.

Men are suck and they treats us differently before and after marriage.
 
M

m28

New Member
Su,

like you i had wanted a good parting.. since there is no love.. why drag on right... until i finally saw him for what he really was..tat toughened my heart..

men are lidat huh.. u are nice to him, he tinks u're dumb and take advantage of you.. u are stern with him.. he finds fault and says u not docile enough,use that as excuse and seek comfort elsewhere..

oh dear.. tink i have man hating symdrome.. ;)
 
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worthless

New Member
Su,

if having your in-laws(sister/parents) to move out of the home and try to improve on the relationship between your half and you.

Me too.. The fault dun lay with him. Its with his mother. In the end he choose his mother and asked me to leave.

U know what, today i went over to return the consent to his lawyer and its his mother who went to approach the lawyer to file for our divorce. he's just a mummy-boy.
 
W

wrongchoice

New Member
Hi Dolp & Worthless,

I can be your member as I m also kind of Men hatter now... He was always in msn and bz with chit chatting and talking on ph...Last time when I asked he said they all were friends. He even said one girl that he was a single and unfortunately I have found out abt their so call affair. The girl was just a student and she was so shame once she knew that he is married and back off. Now he is in msn again. I saw him always online. I asked to myself that oh no who would be another victim. I dun really want another girl to suffer like me. so lady and girl, pls be careful when you deal with your online friend. They can say whatever they want actually what they are not.

Worthless, I know exactly how you are feeling now. To break one's marriage is actually so cruel so no need to say to break own son's marriage. Their actions show who they are. To me I remind myself not to hate her. If I hate her, I will be tired. Let it be and what goes around comes around. I am trying to calm down myself.
 
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sgbabydoll

Active Member
Girls, it is only one man who has betrayed your trust, no need to get so serious as to hate all men bah. You should also take this opportunity to reflect upon yourself why and how on earth you have misplaced your trust in someone who is not trustworthy. Then you learn how to differentiate between trustworthy and deceitful men. You don't need to hate or avoid all men. That would be miserable.
 
O

orchidslover

New Member
Hi Worthless,

Hardly post anything since I became a member.. but maybe i can help you a little here.

As for your question of splitting legal costs, normally the person filing the Divorce Petition will pay his/her own lawyer's costs.

If you intend to contest on ancillaries, you will have to engage your own lawyer and be responsible for your own legal fees.

Hope this helps. Take care.
 
J

j0j

New Member
Hi Su.. m in e same flight as u.. being married for 5 yrs nw.. bot new hse from HDB and live for coming 2 yrs liao.. wanting to file for separation but HB claimed to endure till e 5 yrs is up 1st then go straight to divorce.. He intends to keep e hse.. but he's not 35 yet. How to transfer my ownership to him?
Really keen to koe wat's HDB reply ... Do kp me informed okay??? Appreciate v much..
 
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takeflight

New Member
Can i just ask if someone intends to file for divorce and they have a child under one, is it true that they have to pay more to the wife for ancillary matters?
Thanks and really need to know.
 
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rayband

New Member
Can I ask flat is purchased less than 2 yrs, if surrender flat, what are the losses besides forfeiting the downpayment.
 
W

wrongchoice

New Member
Hi Voque,

U can email and ask HDB. To me they replied to my many questions within 3 days. Not bad. Pls see HDB reply to my case as below : -

The compensation for the return of flat will be determined by HDB. If your flat was purchased direct from HDB and is subsequently surrendered to HDB due to divorce, the compensation would be the lower of
(a) 95% of original purchase price; or
(b) 90% of current market value of the flat.
 
W

wrongchoice

New Member
Hi Voque and Khoo,

Here is HDB advice.
Upon finalization of your divorce, please come to the Branch Office with the supporting divorce documents in order for us to assist you. You may wish to visit our website at www.hdb.gov.sg>Home Owners>Use & Ownership of Flat>Changing of Owners & Occupiers>Retention of Flat Ownership>Divorce for further details.

Hope you all wont end up with divorce and can save ur marriage. Life aft divorce wont never be the same as life b4 married.
 
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sgbabydoll

Active Member
You should talk to your spouse about what to do with the HDB flat as it is joint property. There is no point that you want to return the flat to HDB when your spouse is not willing to. Returning it to the HDB should be a last resort because both parties will sure lose money. Try to go for a win-win solution.

By the way, if you just want to finalise divorce first and anciliary matters later, bear in mind that this is more costly than to have everything finalised at one go. Lawyers of course don't mind earning the extras.
 
M

m28

New Member
hi doll,

just one simple clarification, when you mentioned better not to finalise divorce 1st then anciliary matters, do you mean it's more advisable to have an idea of what the settlement for the flat, loans etc b4 i approach the lawyer or can this be done in subsequent meetings?
 
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sgbabydoll

Active Member
Hi Dolp, there is no best way to a divorce but we all have to manage it one way or another. If you can, do the divorce and anciliary matters at one go because this would save you both time, money and agony. But if you can't do that for whatever reason, you have to find other means to approach divorce.
 
M

mum_of_2_girls

New Member
From some of the post above, it looks like mummy's boy tend to have troubled marriages.

Can anyone share successful stories of being married to mummy's boy?

So that we can all learn how to deal with difficult situations, and not divorce.
 
P

pencil81

New Member
Hi, anyone can advise me on a good lawyer with reasonable fee too? I told my husband that i wanted to file for divorce, his reply is "anything". I ask him if he want a separation 1st, he says "anything". Ask him whether wana sell flat although not yet 5 yrs, "anything". we already dont have much things to say. He dont contribute to this family for so many years, did not even concern about his son. So now, I am saving up $ for either DOS or DOD, and also the consequences after the break up, as son is being taken care by M-I-L. Please, please, if anyone who are willing to give any advice or lend a listening hear, please reply. Thank you
 
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momotea

New Member
I am looking for a lawyer to do my separation deed. Already make thing clear between me and my husband on how the deed should be. I was mental and physically too tired by this marriage. Because he is seeing another married woman so he doesn’t intend to pay as he is not in a hurry to divorce. Can anyone recommend a cheap lawyer for me?
 
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simpleman

Active Member
Don't anyhow give people advices.

You think it is easy to make him pay for the cost?

If you want to divorce, be prepared to foot the bill.. of course getting hb/wife to share cost or to foot the bill is ideal but don't bet on it.

Adultery will only hasten the divorce process but there is no assigning of blame.
 
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sgbabydoll

Active Member
You will incur legal costs for initiating a divorce. In some cases the judge will even order your spouse to take responsibility of part of cost but you can't be that naive to think that the judge will follow up on whether the spouse pays you or not?

The reality is you will have to pay the lawyer money first and try to claim from the spouse yourself.
 
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sonypeh

New Member
if the judge had ordered cost to be paid by the husband to the wife then it's a judgment by the court and if he don't pay then it's Contempt of Court.
 
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simpleman

Active Member
Yes, the judge will decide - probably as part of the judgement. The judge decides.. not you. You can't make him pay for the cost. Only the judge can.

If it is part of the larger divorce settlement then yes, it may make some sense.

But only for the cost of the proceedings? And what it takes to enforce it? don't bet on it. Best case scenario will be that it is a bonus.
 


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sonypeh

New Member
normally the wife is entitle as they are protected by the Women charter. From my knowledge if the amount is justified, the judge will grant it.
 
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