Yes and no. If you get out and find a partner it may feel difficult. If you take a more relaxed approach and start to befriend more people, you may just meet the person. More than half the time it also depends on what kind of expectations you have of a partner.
Well said Doll. I realise that sometimes, the harder you try to 'find a man', the more difficult it is to find. I know it's easier said than done but really, try a relaxed, laidback stance (i.e. don't go on every outing looking for potentials!) and sometimes, that's when it will happen.
Also, my personal experience tells me that sometimes, you may end up marrying someone that totally does not fall into your preconceived idea of "your type". Cast your net wider and keep an open mind. You never know what you can get!
Btw, I'm 32 this year and am getting married next May. My HTB is 3 years younger than me and way before I met him, I NEVER thought I'd date, let alone, marry, someone that much younger than me. In the beginning, it was a bit of an issue (more on my part) but now, it's a non-issue
I find that the situation today has improved vastly for the 30-something single women. In my mom's days (she's 64 by the way), it is almost impossible to find a man who would want to marry you after you cross the 30-year-old mark. It is almost unheard of for a younger man to go for an older woman.
Do you have realistic expectations?
Just to give you an example. I have a female colleague whom I knew eight years ago when she was 25. At 34, her criteria for a partner has not changed a wee bit. She is still adamant about an older man who has never been married before. He must be taller than she (she is about 1.68m), and rather handsome in the face. I am sure he also has to earn more than she does, etc, etc, etc. In short, no one less than "perfect".
I am not saying that she cannot hold fast to her pre-requisites, but we all are not surprised that till this day she is still waiting to be swept off the feet by a knight in shiny armour. We really don't know if this knight ever exists in real-life.
It might be easier if a person is outgoing by nature. For me, I have been very inactive and tend to laze at home or go out with few close frens.occasionally will feel the tingle of loneliness. If stay at home, it is very unlikely to know new frens unless it is via online.
Of couse we gals prefer to go for social actvities with frens la
be it out-going or introvert, I still feel it is really about the timing. My friend, she's 40, super out going, fun and cute, but didnt meet any men to her dispointment. Another friend, who is so quiet n dont like outings, married her first love at the age of 26. I really dont know what is the real reason seriously. I am 32 btw. SO I sort of give up searching, hoping or analysing altogether> i do stuff myself like going to the gym, shopping or even having meals at restaurants. it takes a while to get used to but i am really over that phase now. cheer up ladies! life cant be that bad without a partner.
I certainly feel that if u find the RIGHT one, it will definitely be better than no one. However if u find the WRONG one (u settle for anyone just bcos u think u are over the moon), u will end up worse than being alone. THus
"No One is better than anyone"
"The right one is better than no one"
Hope i dun sound crappy to you'll on this blue blue monday morning
Don't think of finding man. Just go out and meet more friends. Join more activities. Doesn't mean you have to be out-going and out-spoken. But for a start if you are going to hide at home, you will not meet anyone and your chances of finding a man is almost zero.
I like the bus waiting one! Reminds me of a friend who thinks i'm picky. The thing is, I waited so long and no bus came! Haha..
Previouly there are a few buses but they are going to different destination hence I didnt get up!
Well, some people just board ANY bus that pulls over at the bus-stop. They are forever busy boarding or alighting any bus at the next bus-stop. I have a gf who is like that. She changes bf a few times this year alone. She can be likened to a commuter that is forever taking feeder buses. She is meant for feeder buses and vice versa.
Is it all of you are ladies? Actually man who are above 30 also having difficulty to find gf. Maybe its not becoz of age... maybe no 'yuen fen'. I got a male friend who do not drink and smoke or any bad habit. Hmmm... can consider a good man and was keen to settle down as age is catching up yet having difficulty to find gf. He sometimes say singapore ladies stardard are to high.
Commuter A boards a non air con mini bus, after travelling for a short distance, he/she finds a single deck aircon bus behind, so he/she alights and boards the 2nd bus, after yet another short while, he/she spots a double deck grassland super deluxe at the back, and he/she alights and board it. He/She is really comfy on board the luxury bus but he/she did not realised that the destination of this bus is different from where he/she wants to go. He/She tries to alight to bard the correct bus but it has already been long pass the stop. They assumed all buses goes to the same place and cos everyone thinks that the bus is sooo comfortable and luxuries, it must be the right one for them.
Communter B attempts to wait at the bus stop for the grassland super deluxe double deck which never turn up... while all the minibus and single deck zooms pass the stop.
I have guy friends who are still single, just like me, a single woman at age 30. They also have difficulty finding gfs. But I think it is not always because Singapore woman have high expectations, which many people always assume is the case of us Singapore ladies. Many of the women that my single guy friends used to date are simple, easy to please ladies, but character wise, and life outlook wise, they just can't get along. Guys in their 30's and above have it easier then the ladies of the same age group as there are ladies who go for older men. So, I would say, in my opinion, that men do have difficulty finding women, but not as difficult as what we ladies face. And high expectations is not always the issue.
I feel that couples need destiny to be together. Some couples break up, only to get together despite the obstacles, because their love and destiny is so strong. Some people try to force love on others, by using emotional blackmail, lies, to make the other person love them or be with them. yet in the end, these people fail, because you can't love to order. So, my personal opinion is that, You can't just go out with the aim of finding a partner. For me personally, I do not want to sign up with SDU or join dating agencies, because such units are too marriage focused. To me, I do not prefer such mindset that the SDU and dating agencies have, where the aim is to find a partner, rather then to friend guys first. To me, one should widen one's social circle, get to know more people,whether girls or guys. And when u know guys, it is on the basis of being friends first, and from there, close friendship, love, may develop.
Sometimes, i have doubts on those activities. If one not able to find partner in real life, do u think he/she can find a partner there? Yes, maybe yes and their aims is to get tie up and setup a family? No, maybe no and their aims is to find real love? But problem is, is there real love? Love needs to nurture but if one party keep having the thinking that the other should always makes the move, no matter what love will die eventually.
I have been to sdu events, geeee i tell you, some guys are weird. They stare at gals like never seen gals before. Those dating agencies are too profit-focused. They will match you irregardless of your criteria because all they care is money.
I dont think man will have difficulty because in general the ratio of man to woman is 3:1. So the man shd have lots of choices compared to the woman. If you look around, there are more singles woman than man.
Where to find man, hello any single man available?? Hee hee
U'll be surprised I have 2 guy friends in their 30s who are nice, friendly and have stable careers, still trying to find a gf after 2 years. Sometimes it's just that the right feeling and chemistry are missing.
I, too believe that for a couple to be together, it is destiny. For something so abstract, for something so impossible to explain, the force within can only be fate and destiny.
If I am meant to spend the rest of my life with somebody, I will meet him. If not, then maybe I am meant to spent my time and energy on something else. My path and purpose in life is perhaps different.
Life's short...cherish your love ones and spend time with them...enjoy the beautiful things around you while they last. Often, we focus too much attention on unduly worries, etc...only to neglect the more important things in life. As for love, whatever will be will be. Heard of this song, You Can't Hurry Love?
I think finding a man is not difficult, provided you have realistic expectations. On the other hand, finding a man whom you'll really love and loves you in return may not be that easy.
i think most singles feel the same way.. as in no need purposely go and look for life partner,hence take it easy.. laze at home or occupied with work.
On the other hand, some singles take a more proactive stand and join social activities. The majority of their colleagues might be married,hence not very likely to meet that someone special.
" dont think man will have difficulty because in general the ratio of man to woman is 3:1. So the man shd have lots of choices compared to the woman. If you look around, there are more singles woman than man."
Sunflower, where did you get that statistics? I thought the ratio of male and female babies is 0.49:0.51, which is almost half-half.
Not Auntie, if you know your gf is reluctant to join SDU activities, why are you still suggesting that to her? Wouldn't that make you unrealistic too haha
Important thing is not to look for a man.. just go out and make more friends - man or woman.. naturally you will get to meet more and more people and naturally it increases your chance of finding the right man.
If you are only seeking for the right man, it may be elusive.
She too was very concerned about finding a bf, she do have a few suitors, but like earlier mention, it was a mini bus either without seats or withour air con, or even the mini bus look old outside. She did not board any even though they could assure her some luxury life or even treat her real nice. She still fancy grassland superior deluxe bus. I tried introducing a few of my guy friends to her (which she find it handsome), but none of it turn out well (no yuan fen). Finally she went to SDU. She wanted someone company so much that she joined the unit. After a few meeting with some guys, she settled with this so call deluxe bus. 1 of my friend friend commented that he is handsome (sorry to me i find it he is an untidy guy). Nevertheless they got together about 1week ++ into knowing one another. They only together for few weeks and they planning to get marry ald. While planning for marriage, she then realise that the deluxe bus service owed alot of debts and practically alot of things are pay by my friends. Even wedding ring also cant afford to buy. I know she regretted, but what to do, she told me this "alot of buses do drop by but is the outer looks more impt, take it that i own him the bus fare for life"... i really lost of words...
SM, toking about people waiting at bustops mah, private cars cannot stop at bus stops le, will get summons. hahahaha if u really wan private cars also can.
1st come a chery QQ, then come a honda jazz, then come rolls royce... haha
Dolphin there are some people who are good at putting on a false front, Act rich basically.
That's why i always say, Open your eyes and observe, feel with heart and head.. sometimes all those big talks are just to impress gals...
Do your friend know that outer look can't last long. The most impt is the inner look. Is your friend very young? I thot only young girl will hunt for handsome man and more mature ladies will consider more on bread(money, stable job and character).
I find that only know a few wks and get married is too fast. At last muz know whether is he the right person before you put a wedding ring on his hands. I afraid some people will show all the true colour after the marriage and regrets will be too late.
Of course every people have their own criterion and there is no right or wrong.
we do have quite a few single ladies in the office and they are all in their mid thirties. Not interested in going to SDU. but there's one who chose to be with the one with a wedding ring on his hand who in happily married in his 50s.Why? Because he has a big car and a big fat wallet. I think it's better to be single, wait for the right man rather than to regret and get hurt.