Depressed, need help

[galneedhelp]

I'm married for 5 years. But I'm so depressed now and is thinking of divorce. My husband is an unreasonable guy and don't listen to people's advice. He also don't like noisy place or invite relatives (even my parents) to our house. And the worst thing is he drinks a lot. And he talk nonsense after that which I hate most. He blames everyone else except himself when anything goes wrong. I just went through a very bad new year as he don't like new year as well. So whenever new year time, he will find something to make him and everyone unhappy. We had a quarrel last 2 days because he keep scolding vuglar words when he is not happy. I told him to stop as although he is not scolding me but i feel so fed up when he scold non stop. He got very agitated and say that i cannot tell him off. Only he can tell people off. He even scolded his mum. I feel so sick of all this. And I got no one to talk to. Can someone tell me what to do?????

 

[galneedhelp]

Can someone reply me????

 

[texasholdem]

u shld know his character before marrying him isnt it? well, this is the guy u had chosen, if u cant bear with him anymore, then divorce him.

 

[opalstar]

Controlling , domineering man who attempts to control his wife through verbal and possibly physical abuse. Signs of attempts to isolate wife from social contacts.

Like him = accept him. Cannot accept = counselling then separation then divorce.

Alamak You also abit too kancheong rite.. to expect a response less than 1 hr after posting.. People need to work de right.. We don't exactly glued our eyes to the forums..

 

[galneedhelp]

I got no friends to talk to. And my marriage is a failure. I feel so tired of everything.

 

[opalstar]

Mon Dieu.. Don't take this the wrong way.. You sound abit "down" at the moment. You prob need professional counselling more than our advise at this point..

A trained counsellor could provide a professional trained ear in pulling out information from yourself. He/She will be able to provide better advise at this point.

Marriage Failure is a relatively strong word for a husband with a bad temper thus, probably there is more to it than what was posted.

See a counsellor, worked out what you are feeling but unable to express in words and take it from there.

 

[yoongf]

Turn on your PM

 

[renerene]

You just need someone to talk to right?
How about this: http://www.aware.org.sg/support-services/helpline/

 

[xylon]

Hi,

Is he feeling stress at the moment? Maybe you two should go for a short holiday? At some quiet resort for him to enjoy the peace.

Also, do you think he has some medical condition?　Perhaps some medical attention is needed?

Counselling is another option e.g. you can try to contact Fei Yue family services for some advice ? http://www.fycs.org/ I think they do accept one-to-one counselling i.e. you don't have to involve your hubby first

 

[wat_are_dreamz]

I agree w TPK. U shd have known his character b4 u married him. As u said, its been 5yrs of marriage n his character is as such. Either u accept it n dun complain or u make the solid decision to seek marriage counselling tgr b4 eventually taking on the step of divorce if the counselling doesnt work out.

Y dun u have frens? Cld it be u are not a v nice person too? Ur husband has his flaws, u have to ask urself if u can accept his flaws. If no, then u have to step out instead of being tired n not doing anything about it.

 

[cksgp]

galneedhelp, if you prefer anonymity, do post here. I am sure we are all ready for a listening ear. And I am also quite sure some of us here will be able to give some good advice.

 

[galneedhelp]

yes, it's my choice. that's y i have been tolerating for years and telling myself that I only got myself to blame for making the wrong choice. but everyone do make wrong choices too!

 

[opalstar]

Yup, Agree with you, everyone make mistakes but must not carry on the mistake..

I think none of us are saying u deserve it but trying to express that we can't do anything about it. You are the only one who could change your current situation.

What we can do is to give actionable suggestions.. such as speaking to a counsellor. However if you just want to continue your own suffering, we can only sigh and wish you all the best.

 

[wat_are_dreamz]

If u feel tat ur choice has been wrong for the past 5yrs, then y do u need others to tell u wat to do now? 5yrs is a long time to think abt wat u should do n wat u wana do.

 

[powder]

in short, u bought a pet cat and u want the cat to bark at strangers and guard your house and be your best fren...

why dun u just buy a dog in the first place... 5yrs later the car still no barking, u dun like the meowing, and u telling us that your cats meows but why can't it bark...

u dun need counselling for marriage, u need common sense and logic.

 

[powder]

u can be tired of everything, but ultimately if u break it down... u are tired of the consequences of your bad decisions.

and now your Indecision.

 

[clark]

wah.....a guru is a guru.

Dun play play.

To all forummers, please post here only if u have clear thoughts and enlightment. If not, our resident guru (powder) will not hesitate to put it straight to you.

 

[dracano]

galneedhelp,
Just wish to highlight that his behaviour might escalate from emotional abuse to physical abuse, so it's important to look further if there's any future between the two of you and if it's worth staying on.
Take care.

 

[xylon]

galneedhelp: things can get better, see a counsellor for advice first. There is no harm in doing so.

 

[jefferson_edison]

many girls run off from the husband. u can become one of them.

 

[mirrorcelcius]

you already sated that it is your choice.

 

[pinktweet]

this choice is obvious: divorce him .. you don want to waste another 5yrs on him, do you?

 

[whitelv]

sounds like he might turn violent too. i hate guys who shout vulgarities and talk nonsense.

start making new friends and go for professional counselling. if it doesn't work out, at least you have your own life to fall back on and get a divorce.

good luck!

 

[thebluecape]

What do you like about him in the first place? Ever thought about that?