Dear all,
Hope to get some perspectives and hear your views regarding trust issues in a marriage, especially after forgiving a spouse of an affair.
My husband is open to handing me his phone, letting me use his applications and sometimes ask me to read and reply messages for him. He no longer takes his phone with him everywhere he goes and no longer clear his 'last used' apps. Occasionally, i will take the chance to check his messages.
Trying hard not to do that but sometimes I just can't help it. Especially so when I noticed him getting messages from an acquaintance who often ask him for favours. Eg: if she can take a lift from him to office ( she stays nearby), ask him to get food, help her read some letters... Etc. He will usually oblige and we will get into a quarrel when I eventually found out. They even went tor lunch once! He brushed it of and said that woman's office recently move near his, and she wants to find out more about that area, parking and stuff. She is a divorcee and definitely available.
She has a car. (so why need a lift?)
I don't understand. Can't comprehen why my hubby is so stupid, why can't he stop being nice to people especially woman who obviously want to get somethings out of him? Why can't he STOP his stupid acts of kindness ( he does that to most of his friends) and concern for others. I tried telling him he will give woman false signals and if they want to hook him, he is an easy prey.
I felt very uneasy and it doesn't help since he had an affair before and I forgave and move on. He is just not helping me move on and let him trust him again by putting himself in vulnerable situations. Feeling unhappy and lost.. Wondering if a cheater will always cheat and if I'm right to choose to keep the marriage instead of just walking out. I'm scared of another betrayal and that's affecting my recovery.. Hai.. What should I do?
Hope to get some perspectives and hear your views regarding trust issues in a marriage, especially after forgiving a spouse of an affair.
My husband is open to handing me his phone, letting me use his applications and sometimes ask me to read and reply messages for him. He no longer takes his phone with him everywhere he goes and no longer clear his 'last used' apps. Occasionally, i will take the chance to check his messages.
Trying hard not to do that but sometimes I just can't help it. Especially so when I noticed him getting messages from an acquaintance who often ask him for favours. Eg: if she can take a lift from him to office ( she stays nearby), ask him to get food, help her read some letters... Etc. He will usually oblige and we will get into a quarrel when I eventually found out. They even went tor lunch once! He brushed it of and said that woman's office recently move near his, and she wants to find out more about that area, parking and stuff. She is a divorcee and definitely available.
She has a car. (so why need a lift?)
I don't understand. Can't comprehen why my hubby is so stupid, why can't he stop being nice to people especially woman who obviously want to get somethings out of him? Why can't he STOP his stupid acts of kindness ( he does that to most of his friends) and concern for others. I tried telling him he will give woman false signals and if they want to hook him, he is an easy prey.
I felt very uneasy and it doesn't help since he had an affair before and I forgave and move on. He is just not helping me move on and let him trust him again by putting himself in vulnerable situations. Feeling unhappy and lost.. Wondering if a cheater will always cheat and if I'm right to choose to keep the marriage instead of just walking out. I'm scared of another betrayal and that's affecting my recovery.. Hai.. What should I do?
