Sharing a lil about myself, I just got out from my marriage since last aug and had went thru a bad ideal struggling with all the pain my ex hb had brought to me. I had nv looked back, nor have any feelings for him anymore... whats left behind was bits n pieces of great pain that I doubt I will be able to forget and let go. I still shivers with countless tears flowing whenever I think back on my darkess days.
During these months, I had gone out with few different guys but none of them is able to open up my heart. I tried dating one of them but I backed up shortly after 2 weeks as I realised I couldnt let go of the pain and ended up crying secretly when out with him. I couldnt picture myself with a life with a different man, and simple task like shopping, movies etc was killing me as memories of the past flashes all over me. I felt compressed and suffocating.
But lately, I met this British guy who has made me willing to open up my heart and wanting to be part of his life. We started seeing each other but my emotions has nv leave me with peace. I am feeling a little stressful with the thought that he is just having fun... I am always having doubts about his sincerity and always insecure. I am always thinking he will disappear one day after he had enough of me... just like what my ex did to me.
I had shared my past with him that i was almost killed emotionally, and this is the first time I am opening my heart to someone. And if he wasn't heading the same directions with me, please just leave me alone. He didnt say anything but gave me a hug instead. I still do not know whats in his mind and he's quite conserve. He didnt leave me nor gave me any assurance, which made me stirring up and down within. I am so tensed to the extend I wasnt myself when Im out with him. Im a playful and chatty person by nature, but I became totally quiet when hes ard. I am really feeling very terrible.
At times I really wish to ask him about his thoughts, but am afraid of doing so. I always felt our culture is different and he may be thinking I am too sensitive. This is the first time I am dating a westerner, nor have any close westerner friends. I dont know if it is normal if all messages from him are cheeky ones. Cheeky messages started right after we are together. . And 90% of them are cheeky messages. .. seriously. Our normal conversation messages seem to have missing somewhere. But when we meet... he is still the same serious, mature, humorous and loving man that I know. Is this normal? I cant help it thinking hes a player with those messages. I do not anti them but I think I need a balance.
Anyone dated or dating British/English man or European man? Please do share some tips with me. I am going nuts. And I am also thinking I may need professional help to aid me with my past and insecurity. =(
During these months, I had gone out with few different guys but none of them is able to open up my heart. I tried dating one of them but I backed up shortly after 2 weeks as I realised I couldnt let go of the pain and ended up crying secretly when out with him. I couldnt picture myself with a life with a different man, and simple task like shopping, movies etc was killing me as memories of the past flashes all over me. I felt compressed and suffocating.
But lately, I met this British guy who has made me willing to open up my heart and wanting to be part of his life. We started seeing each other but my emotions has nv leave me with peace. I am feeling a little stressful with the thought that he is just having fun... I am always having doubts about his sincerity and always insecure. I am always thinking he will disappear one day after he had enough of me... just like what my ex did to me.
I had shared my past with him that i was almost killed emotionally, and this is the first time I am opening my heart to someone. And if he wasn't heading the same directions with me, please just leave me alone. He didnt say anything but gave me a hug instead. I still do not know whats in his mind and he's quite conserve. He didnt leave me nor gave me any assurance, which made me stirring up and down within. I am so tensed to the extend I wasnt myself when Im out with him. Im a playful and chatty person by nature, but I became totally quiet when hes ard. I am really feeling very terrible.
At times I really wish to ask him about his thoughts, but am afraid of doing so. I always felt our culture is different and he may be thinking I am too sensitive. This is the first time I am dating a westerner, nor have any close westerner friends. I dont know if it is normal if all messages from him are cheeky ones. Cheeky messages started right after we are together. . And 90% of them are cheeky messages. .. seriously. Our normal conversation messages seem to have missing somewhere. But when we meet... he is still the same serious, mature, humorous and loving man that I know. Is this normal? I cant help it thinking hes a player with those messages. I do not anti them but I think I need a balance.
Anyone dated or dating British/English man or European man? Please do share some tips with me. I am going nuts. And I am also thinking I may need professional help to aid me with my past and insecurity. =(