Confused

icelandic

New Member
I am so confused with myself. One hand, i know i still love him, on the other hand, i can't see where we is our relationship heading towards to. Or rather i don't know if we are heading towards the same direction.

I ain't sure is it because he is still studying and i will be graduating next yr june and heading out to the society to work. I am afraid there might be a gap and i am afraid that we won't of the same pace.

I am a person who likes to plan, to set a goal go for it. But he seems like he is taking things one step at a time. He doesn't come from a wealthy family. Sometimes, he parents may have cashflow problem and will borrow money from him. But what he has is his daily allowance which his parents gave him.

I ain't able to judge if he is an easily contented person because he would rather spend less to save up more from daily allowance and did not have any intention to work during school holidays. Though this dec only one month holiday.

he hasn't got any work experience at all. Experience is very important in the IT industry? isn't it? But he doesn't seem to be worried about this. He is just taking one step at a time, to see what and how things will happen than react to the situation.

Sometimes i am wondering why he doesn't want to get a job during school holidays. Is it because he is too easily contented with his parents allowance and his parents did to urge him to find a job to help out in the family expenses. Btw i think his parents really over dote their children. Whatever they wan, they will get it for them since young even though it might be abit strainous financally

So confused. Is he a person who will strive? or is he a person who is easily contented? Or does this really matter? I know myself, i am a person who likes my guy to be confident, diligent and strive hard.
 

powder

Active Member
u typify the ladies who spend too much time thinking...

he's a student right? i think it's fine for a student to act like a student instead of an award-winning entrepreneur...

what he will be, where he will be, what he will do... is something that Time will unravel, and of cos, thru the changes in his character after a few years of hard knocks...

i'll be honest, just becos u Worry... does not make u a better person. Some pple dun worry becos they're naturally confident and somehow, they climb faster than those who worry too far ahead... it's good to anticipate and plan, but do it for yourself... for him u've gotta let him be... he's a student for goodness' sake.

confident, diligent and strive is Impt... but where it differentiates - is the perception of it.
 

sunboi80

Member
Why do you like to assume that you are right and your thinking is the correct way?? The prob with many of us is that we tend to jump into conclusion before we know anything. We think that only our views are correct and we cannot accept others to be different and that's we assume we know everything... Sounds pathetic? Most of the time we think we know but actually we dunno anything...
Did u speak to him? how can u be sure he is not one who "strives"?
If he doesn't say anything doesn't mean he don't plan.
I also dunno why u are so upset that if he doesn't work during the school holidays. He cannot have his own plans?
Yes u are right to say that experience is important but holiday work doesn't really count as "experience". Ask yourself how much are ur employer willing to teach u during the 1 month? how much can u learn during the 1 month? IT is constantly evolving, perhaps by the time he grad, the skillsets (if that's the experience u are talking abt) will be obsolete. but at least he SAVE... there are many who doesn't even save, that's really called "1 step at a time"...

I agree with powder " it's good to anticipate and plan, but do it for yourself", if u really love him, don't be such a control freak. How would u feel if ur roles are reversed? i.e he is the same as u and wants u not to plan too much?

Do not expect everyone to be same as you, accept ppl for what they are. I feel that ppl who are more quiet will usually acheive more than those who also hand the world "ambition" in their mouths

I apologise if i sound abit offending...
 

thermos

New Member
Strange that you are worrying about such thing even before you start working. U will meet different people in the working world and lemme tell u, new relationships will also start in the working world - and u might meet another person who'll share the same ambitions as you. Its not like u will definitely marry the existing bf. Cast your net further girl, and u'll see that what u are worrying now is really un-necessary and a waste of time.
 

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