Hi all, I'm a newbie here but I've read some very good advice about ending an ill-fated marriage amicably and moving on with life. The time has come for me to walk down that road and I hope to get some specific advice about ending things cleanly for both myself and my wife. Some background story first: I am a Singaporean and I have been married for 3.5 years to a PRC (SPR) girl. Over the years she grew more and more dissatisfied with our marriage, and constantly complained that I earned too little, I don't have big career ambitions, I don't have passion and I don't dote on her enough. She is a single child and her parents treated her like a princess from the day she was born. She is also well-educated and thus very ambitious in her career. So I tried harder and harder, but could never meet her expectations. She confessed that she regrets marrying me and wants to be with someone more exciting. To be fair, I am the "play safe" type who was the good boy at home and hardworking student in school. "Exciting" is definitely not my quality. Last year she gave an ultimatum and threatened to divorce me if I didn't improve to meet her expectations. Somehow I made the mark, but the peace did not last. Recently another ultimatum came and I realised it won't be the last. So I asked her to go for marriage counselling with me instead. She flatly refused. She does not trust the counselors (or any outsider) and doubts their professionalism and neutrality. She firmly believes she is right and refuses to listen to anyone who differs. That was the last straw and divorce became a real possibility. Now the nitty-gritty details. First, the reason. We fulfill the 3-year minimum to file a divorce but what reason can we use? We are both clean and faithful. My guess is "unreasonable behavior"; would that suffice? And does being the plaintiff or defendant make a difference in the outcome? Next, the HDB flat. We bought it under fiance-fiancee scheme with all the grants possible. The MOP ends in 2014 and we don't want to waste another year just because of our flat. Is it possible to appeal to HDB to let us sell it in the open market earlier, since it has passed the first 3-year no-grant-MOP milestone? I don't mind paying back all the grants, but having HDB buy back our flat possibly at the price we paid 3.5 years ago is also ridiculous. Has anybody successfully appealed to HDB? Please share. Third, the finances. Since we got married, I paid almost all of the expenses. We shared the HDB loan initially but after a year we refinanced with a local bank at a lower rate and I took over the payments. On the other hand, she quit her job late last year to pursue a higher degree. As of now there is more cash in her account than mine, and we don't have a joint account of any sort. I know the proceeds of the HDB flat sale will go back to the CPF accounts plus accrued interest, and I am prepared to split the profits evenly. She gets to keep all her cash and I get to keep mine. We both think this is fair. Will the court simply grant us our wish? Finally, maintenance payments. (Luckily we held off having kids so there is no custody or child support issue.) We are both degree holders. I am earning about $6k and she was earning about $4k before she quit to pursue a higher degree. She expects to earn much more once she graduates. We lived quite a normal lifestyle during our marriage. We mostly take public transport, ate at food courts and sometimes mid-range restaurants (like Crystal Jade), went overseas for big vacation once a year (usually plus another short trip to nearer destinations like Phuket). What kind of maintenance payment should I expect to be paying? And if she agrees to it, can I get away with not paying anything? I will even consider paying a lump sum (as long as it is not ridiculous) to cut all the strings. Like what I stated in the title, I just want to come clean. Any advice for me? What kind of divorce lawyer should I engage to help with my uncontested divorce?