Christian brides/couples planning for wedding in June - Dec 2008

[posiedosie]

hello everyone,
haven been in here for quite some time cos settling hse reno and getting the venue to confirmed which by the grace of God has been done!! If anyone wanna get Aloha Fairy point 7, pls pls dun take their wedding package!! haha.. cos their wedding package dun make sense and they restrict you on alot of areas, like caterers, tentage and stuff.. we wanted to give up after a horrible screw up on their side resulting us having to postpone our wedding to 1 week later. But then again, the place is REALLY beautiful to have a wedding there.. in the end we have to book the place under Corporate booking and to pay a penalty of $500 just to use the place. But we figured its a much better deal as we can source for our own caterers and stuff and lowering the cost a good deal lower.. haiz the effort that has to be made to ensured you'll get the venue that you love haha

 

[zhenzhen84]

hi
just to check with all of u
can we wear veil 2 times?
as in 1st time is church wedding / solemnisation.
2nd time is AD which is 1 yr later.
any brides experience this b4?
izzit acceptable?
i heard some tradition, this is not acceptable?
thanx
hope to hear from u soon!

 

[sparkless]

dear all,

thank you for your advices and encouragement. we have both calmed down quite a great deal on the weding/ marriage topic. finally, we both agreed to do our MPC in a neutral church and that will only commence in August this year. we have also kinda of "giving up" looking for a neutral church.

by the way, anyone of you staying with your in-laws and they are non-believers? any major upset in lifestyle?

-------------

hi zhenzhen,

have a friend who did her ROM in a restaurant. then more than half a year later, she had her church wedding. she told me, the documents she signed on her church wedding was a paperwork by the church.

why dun you have a ROM first then plan for a church wedding later? I think it simplifies thing quite a bit.

 

[zhenzhen84]

Hi starry

i have a similar problem but is with my FH.

We r planning to baptise so we can married in church in God's blessings.

But his parents has been objecting esp his dad.
His parents quarelled over his baptism.

They dun want him to baptise, and tell him to tell me to baptise 1st.

my FH want to baptise with me. So we are very troubled now, esp my FH.

How about u. Ur in-laws are non-believers, same as my FH.

How did u and him overcome to get marry in church?

How did u both talked to them?

I really need your advise?

If not, do u know of any church which accept non-baptised christians to get marry in?

Thanks alot

 

[eunicet]

Hi Starrry and Zhen!

Looks like we're all in the same boat, with parents in-law being non-believers. But we shall continue to press on in prayer...Our God is a God of the impossible.

I'm not one who gives model answers, but let's be encouraged to pray about the situation and give up our troubles to our Mighty God.

In the meantime, Zhen, you might want to approach the church with your problem and see what solution they can offer? Also, I think as long as one person is a member of the church, they will allow you to get married in the church...

About the whole ROM and church wedding thing, my opinion kind of differs from Starrry...I guess we all do it differently, but I wanted to do ROM as church solemnisation, because the marriage is a union of God...I think it might be a little strange to be married in the sight of law but not in the sight of God. I'd be at a loss, not knowing if I were married. So might as well do both at the same time lor. Ha.

Starry...I'm going to be living with my non-believing parents in-law as well. Quite nervous about that, but really praying for wisdom to live harmoniously!!

 

[zhenzhen84]

Hi Eunice

Yar.. have been praying to God about this issue also..
Prayed that his parents' hearts will be softened to allow us to baptise and get married in God's church..

My church need both of us to be baptised in order to get marry.

I went to enquire other churches, we also have to be baptised christians before we can rent their church.

Btw Starry, what u meant by neutral church? can tell me which church is it?

thanx

 

[monkeymuffin]

zhen zhen, I wonder if it is possible for you to discuss this matter with your pastor. Maybe he can let you and your FH marry despite the fact tt he is not baptised yet. He has valid reasons for not being baptised. Perhaps your pastor might relent?

 

[zhenzhen84]

Hi monkeymuffin

I've talked to the incharge for marriage in church.

She told me that in order to invite the pastor to witness our wedding, we have to be

1) both of us have to be baptised christians
2) attend marriage preparation class
3) members of the church

that's y i didnt talk to the pastor yet. because these are the 3 requirements.

really very troubled.. haiz

 

[sparkless]

Hello ZhenZhen

Both me and bf are Christians, so we have no issue about having church wedding, same with both sets of parents. Even though both sets of parents are non-believers. For us, our parents have long accepted the fact we are Christians. The conflict period was done long time ago.

Neutral church as in not my own church nor his church. We are planning to go Barker Methodist for our MPC. The reason why we are not doing with my pastor or his pastor is because we do not know yet who are we going to approach to solemnize us. We dont even know where eventually we will settle down. Hais... is quite a complicated logistic and administrative problem to us.

--------------------------

Hello Eunice

I am quite scared my bf's mum will go consult a fengshui master for our new house and then insist to re-arrange all the furniture to "align with the Fengshui"... this is what she is doing now at their current place. poor bf has to keep shifting furniture around. I hope she wont do such thing in our new place next time.

 

[eunicet]

Starrry: Hmmm, one thing I learnt thru the process so far...Is to just let her do it showing you respect her beliefs. As in acknowledge that she's doing it because she wants the best for you and your bf...My bf and I also let his mom pick the wedding date for us because it was 'auspicious' after she went to calculate all the stuff. I do know that she means well, though I'm also not superly comfortable with all this 'auspicous' 'fenghui-y' stuff!! But of course, must be firm and not let it go overboard also lor. Let her say once, and listen to some things I guess?

 

[zhenzhen84]

Hi Starry

When both of u get baptised, did your or his parents disagreed?

as in, before u get baptised, did u and him ask parents for approval 1st?

or u get baptised 1st, then inform them.?

 

[sparkless]

Hello Zhenzhen

I didnt ask specifically for approval when i went for baptism class. I only ask my parents whether it was okay for them if i follow my elder bro to church.

As for him, he has not baptised yet. But he has converted to Christianity more than 5 years ago. We don't forsee any objection when he goes for baptism class. He is planning to get baptised this year.

we are both middle child and we share similiar background. our elder siblings first went to church and in a way, the path for us to follow Christ has been simplified a lot.

I understand your situation. becos when my elder bro wanna baptised, my father nearly disowned him. but now, we are one happy family again. i think generally parents are worried that we distant ourself from them once we break away from their religion.

 

[sparkless]

hello Eunice,

It certainly takes a lot of tolerance and patience to live harmoniously together. Nonetheless, me and bf has been praying for our parents' salvation. May this day comes soon ;p

 

[zhenzhen84]

oo.. ur elder bro has the exact situation with my HB.

we r really so troubled by it.

not sure how he managed to overcome it?

by right, marriage should be a happy event, but because of this baptised issue, it became so unhappy.. makes the planning so hard...

 

[eunicet]

Hugs to you gals...I guess though I will not fully understand your situations, I just want to say I will keep you gals and your FHs in prayer...We are CONQUERERS!!

 

[monkeymuffin]

Hi zhen zhen,

what the in charge at your church said is quite standard for most churches. However, it MIGHT be possible for your pastor to tweak the rules a little in the light of your unusual circumstances. If you know your pastor personally (because some churches are so big tt the pastor may not know every single member or regular attendee), den try to explain your situation to him and ask for advice from him.

attending MPC is a common requirement because the pastor wants to ascertain tt you both are "ready" for marriage. However, you MIGHT possibly avoid the other two requirements (for the time being) if your pastor is willing.

 

[zhenzhen84]

thanx..
btw, my fh asked me if i want to rom outside the church 1st.. meaning to have a normal rom 1st.. then get house and settle in, roughly 2yrs later then AD in the church..

by that time, i think they should roughly be used to us having our own family and religion..

that's what starry suggested also right..

i think this is the best way out in this present situation..

wait till we have kids, maybe our young innocent children can melt their hearts and go to church with us..

 

[sparkless]

Hello all,

I am trying not to be stress about planning for a wedding/ marriage. But i do feel quite a high level of anxiety when i think about number of "tasks" to "think about"

For example,

1. Finding a Church venue - Gulps! I think going for the MPC is a first step to settle the venue problem.

2. Housing - we really have a problem with this. No house no wedding ?!

3. Sequence of wedding events - Bridal? Guo Da Li? Photoshoots? Photography/ videography? church decoration?

Sigh! I know I am worrying too much again and bf has not even proposed officially yet. Sigh! guess I am cranky again, Saturday come in to work and having friends and relatives asking, "when getting married?" Sigh! Sigh!

 

[monkeymuffin]

Hi Starrry,

I was in the same situation as you 3 months ago. My FH (then bf) simply refused to propose. He knew i was expecting some display of effort in the proposal so he jus kept procratinating the proposal. My frens and relatives also asked me that dreaded "when getting married" question all the time!!

Then he finally proposed on 31 Dec, and things were better.

We had no house, too. so we were super upset. tried to ballot but got lousy queue no. for the past three times. Got a good queue no. for Boon Keng DBSS but gave it up coz felt tt the place was not worth the price.

Just today, we committed into buying La Casa (EC in Woodlands). Happy but also extremely fearful abt the huge financial commitment.

This weekend, my fiance and I are down with stomach flu. I vomitted 3 times and had diarrhoea abt 20 times. had fever too. We discovered that health is very important. The stomach flu also drew us closer together as we took care of each other.

For the proposal, you might have to communicate clearly to your bf that you need him to propose before you can start deciding on wedding date, venue and stuff.

Keep praying for all matters! God bless...

 

[sparkless]

thanks monkeymuffin.

I hope you both are feeling much better now. Yes, indeed health is very important.

Just asked my bf the question; No house no wedding? Quite relieved to know he has a plan. He wanted to try for another 2 more ballotings before going for private housing. Also, another relief was that he has in mind to rent should we get married before our new place is ready.

Now that is clearer in housing, i also feel much better. You are rite in keep the prayers ongoing. If we are meant to be together, God will make all things possible for us.

 

[monkeymuffin]

That's so wonderful to know.

I was very worried before we got our place too. Coz my fiance had a staunch belief that he NEVER wants to rent, rather put money into buying a place. Actually renting is a good option, just tt it was not an option for him.

Good for you!

(btw, we're better now, Thank God!)

 

[sasha_sim]

Hi All,

If you are having a church solemnization and dinner on the same day, how do you intend to do it?

I am planning to have tea ceremony in morning where I will wear the same kua or CS for both ceremonies (PIL's place and my own parents'. After which I will rest for 3 hrs+, have church at 4.30-5plus then adjourn to hotel for dinner.

Anyone planning to do the same or have done/ attended the same? A bit of a headache now planning all the logistics since my home and church in the east and his whole family stays extreme west.

Please help!

 

[eunicet]

Hi Sasha!

My plan sounds even more rushed than yours...Haha...That's because my dad feels that I should go through the church ceremony first before doing anything else...So it's church in the morning with a lunch reception, then rush off to do tea ceremony at the in-laws place, and maybe my place, and rush off to the hotel for dinner! Or if possible might do the 2nd tea ceremony at the hotel...

As for your plan, since you have the whole morning for tea ceremony, I think it should be ok...So east and west also not so bad...

 

[sasha_sim]

Hi Eunice

Wow, your schedule is really packed. Do be sure to rest well 2 weeks before at least and "chi bu" ok?

My future MIL wants me to have the tea ceremony first since they are not Christians so out of deference to her letting us get married in church, I will do the tea ceremony before church.

Doing church and dinner consecutively so that his family (all staying in the West) will find it more convenient to come for both. Looking for a hotel somewhere in the east though.

Take care!

 

[eunicet]

Hi Sasha

Hehe, yeah man, must 'chi bu'...

But praying for supernatural strength and energy to enjoy the day and SMILE!

My future MIL is also not a Christian, but she wasn't too particular about the order, thankfully. But of course must go her house first before my parents house. If not would have saved an hour or so cos of distance and all that...

And yup, may the church service be really warm and joyful and bless the hearts of even those who aren't Christians!

And as for your hotels, have you shortlisted? When are you getting married?

 

[vivicaleb]

hihi All Brides to be,
I'm new to this site. my AD is on Sept 20th

just a quick question, are you ladies planning to get any gifts / tokens of appreciation for your parents and in-laws?
i do not know what to get ... flowers or gifts???

 

[monkeymuffin]

Hi vivicaleb,

Depends on the situation of your folks. I know my folks will prefer gifts instead of flowers (which they think is a waste of money). If you're not sure, go for "safe" gifts like watches, jewellery

 

[dodolet]

Can try the chinese tonics like bird's nest or dunno what, if the inlaws or parents are pretty old. I think best go for something they can use, eat or wear.

I think personally flowers will be a waste of money.

 

[sparkless]

Hello all,

How's everyone coming along with your wedding preps?

Me? Haha... i am still waiting for his proposal. But then, we have moved another inch again.

With HDB announcing the bi-monthly balloting exercise to half yearly, and BTO in the areas he doesnt want, we are going to look for resale next year. Anyway, we are still hoping by God's grace, we can get one of those brand new units we like, somehow...

So right now, we are just waiting for the marriage prep course to start. We have also settled the church we will be attending regularly.

 

[eunicet]

Hello twinfairy!!

So nice to hear from you and so nice to have this forum up and about again!

My wedding preps are on hold till after my exam, which is just one paper on 28 Apr. Haha. And then it's more planning (guest list, invitation cards, etcetc!!)

Anyway, the locations released by HDB are not very happening, sadly. And my friends just bought a resale flat for quite a lot above the market price...But well, all the best in the house-hunting! God's grace is sufficient for us!

Glad to know you've settled down in a church as well...

Where's it?

 

[sairalinde]

hi all,

My AD is on Oct 25, 08. Am a CHC member, I will be holding my holy matrimony at 12nn and my wedding dinner all at the same place (seletar country club).

Decided against holding ceremony at a church coz very hard to find. So decided against it. Think my AD is going to be a headache since my parents and grand parents are all staunch buddhists. So not sure how to bring them over for holy matrimoney. My mum already asking me if necessary for her to be present at the holy matrimony...

Aside from planning my wedding also worry abt renovation... haiz...

 

[eunicet]

Hi Addy...

Congrats on your wedding day! I know that some things may sound headache-y, but we have a God who conquers...And I guess it's better that your Holy Matrimony is held at a neutral location rather than the church because it is easier for your parents and grandparents to be there? Anyway, the Holy Matrimony consists of the 'ROM' portion, doesn't it? So your parents will have to be there, and I guess if they know how much it means to you, they will go...

And as for the renovation, I hope everything goes smoothly too!

 

[sparkless]

Hello Eunice,

we are attending NCC right now. But i am still helping out at my old church : )

do share with us your other wedding preps. I will be delighted to know : )

 

[sairalinde]

Thanks Eunice for your kind advice.

Have already ROMed last year. So technically my holy matrimony is just to get the pastor's blessings.

How is everyone's prep so far? Jia you!! My PS will be in end May.

 

[eunicet]

Hi Starrry!

Right now, I just finished my exams, so will go full steam ahead with the prep: invites, shoes!, caterer, etcetc...Cos will be going into NIE in July, so better clear as much as I can...How about you? And when is your AD?

Hi Addy!
My PS will be in June, have you thought of where to go for your outdoor PS? Have fun! I can't wait, hope things turn out really good...

 

[sairalinde]

hi Eunice

My BS is in Msia. So my PS will be going to Desaru. So have to pray for good weather.

Now still looking for ID/ contractors for my house reno.

 

[eunicet]

Hi Addy!
Wahh, you get to go to Desaru!!

At least it'll be a different environment...Yup, pray for good weather indeed! And have a great time w your HTB!

 

[sparkless]

Hi Eunice,

No fixed date for AD yet. So now, I just see see look look, surf the forum and gather information.

Hi Addy,

How nice to go Desaru for photoshoot!

 

[eunicet]

Starry: Yeah, we can share information! I have PGs that I would recommend for example...Price very reasonable, and the standard is pretty good...

One of them I couldn't get because he has another customer on my AD!
Btw, you have no fixed date for AD, but is it going to be this year? Then how about the venue?

 

[mich55]

Hi Addy,

Your BS is in Msia...May I know the name & where is it? cos I need to rent gown from Msia for Msia wedding dinner.

Thanks
Michelle

 

[sparkless]

Hi Eunice,

The wedding date is tentatively in Nov 09. Not this year. But I would actually much prefer April wedding.

As for the venue, we thought of 2 places but I think we should clear the MPC first.

How do you choose your PG?

 

[eunicet]

Hihi starry

I see, so you're not getting married this year...Why would you prefer a date in April though?

Mmm, as for me, I was just doing a lot of searching online for PG portfolios, to see what the overall standard is...My BS offers PG and VG for cheaper, but the photos are of just normal standard, just like photos taken throughout the day, perhaps good for memories, but it feels as though friends can take such photos...So wanted a PG who could do both capturing of special moments, as well as be able to take some more artistic shots...I also had to make a choice based on budget...Couldn't get those super ex types lor. So I have 2 PGs I know who are within budget and are good...You want to check out their portfolio can tell me, I'll send you their website link...

 

[sparkless]

Hello Eunice,

Just think that April is like Spring. A new beginning...

Can send the PG link to me? [email protected]

Thanks

 

[red_letter]

Hi Eunice,
Me the same as you want to look for a PG that can do something artistic. Who do you recommend?

 

[eunicet]

Hi Red Letter!

Mmm, I've already chosen my PG...You can see his works at http://kenkoh.ifp3.com/ Can say Eunice and Patrick recommended and ask for better discount...Ken's photos range from the more simple, normal photos, to artistic photos and he throws in the editting, making certain pictures black and white and all of that jazz...He says he knows exactly which photos to change to black and white or whatever colour before he takes them...Quite cool!

But it really depends on your budget...Cos there are a lot of good photographers out there...While I was doing my research, I came across quite a number of artistic PGs though many were out of my budget...Care to share your budget?

I also recommended David from www.glorystudio.net to starry because he's pretty good too, and his prices are reasonable...

 

[sairalinde]

Michelle: My BS is Dawn Bridal. They are good and convenient coz at City Square only. Their designs also been quite classy and not the usual cheesy kind. Can look for Serene. Very nice lady.

Eunice & Twinfairy: Yeah Desaru is niceee but worried about weather and how does the place look right now. Apparently depending on the period sometimes the place will look burnt due to the hot weather! Geez...so hopefully i get a nice view. Had my PS gown selection over the weekend. So now just waiting for 28 & 29 May.

How are your preps coming along? Need any info? Yeah can share share. Basically my AD PG is Derrick Ong. Can go his website and take a look, abit pricey but think he is worth it. Else can go to the other threads and read all the good things about him. www.derrick-ong.com

yawnz...chat laterzzzz...nite girlies..

 

[eunicet]

Addy: Don't worry, it'll turn out great for sure! At least the scenery will be fresh! And no editting software can't handle some hot weather, I think!

Just have a great time! And oh, I checked out Derrick Ong's website...Gosh!! He is good! How much are you paying for him? Whoaa...One thing's for sure, your AD photos will turn out great!!

 

[zhenzhen84]

Girls..

What do u think about

1) Church ceremony + lunch buffet reception in church

2) Church ceremony and banquet dinner in hotel

Actually wanted no. 1, but dunno if i will regret not having a banquet dinner in the future as it has always been a tradition and once in a lifetime event...

If no. 2, it will be so expensive, as if really to have a banquet, we prefer a hotel.

haiz... what do u all think?
which one is better?

 

[sparkless]

Hello zhen,

we will be going for #1. Personally, i think there is nothing to regret about not having a dinner banquet. Because to us, not having a dinner banquet saves us the headache of confirming guests and seating arrangement. Also take away the unnecessary yum seng and table photos. We prefer a lunch reception so that we can really mingle around with guests and take very natural and candid moments photos.

But for saving wise, i dun think it will make much difference. Ang baos given for a dinner banquet usually match the dinner cost. i think generally, ppl will give less when it comes to buffet. So overall, cost saving effect may not be that significant.

Since is your wedding, do it as you wish. Then no matter what happen, you will have a memorable day.

 

[eunicet]

Hi zhenzhen!

Mmmm...For myself, we're having #2...It is quite expensive, because we're even going to have a lunch buffet reception in church as well...But can't really be helped because many relatives are not Christians and would not really appreciate just the lunch reception. The banquet traditionally would mean more to them too...Though am hoping the warmth of the church wedding, the presence of God will touch their hearts...

But like starry says, I think you will be able to recover 'loss' from the ang paos. And my mum tries to remind me - God will provide!

All the best!