Christian brides/couples planning for wedding in June - Dec 2008

[poohbear80]

Hi

Anyone Christian couples planning for wedding b/w June - Dec 2007. Please join this forum for a time of sharing on the church wedding planning etc.....

 

[posiedosie]

hello poohbear,
i'll be having my wedding in sepy 2008.. sourcing for caterers, customised gown and suit.. my fiance and i have decided not to take up any package so doing everuthing alar carte.. you?

 

[poohbear80]

initiall, my bf and I are planning our wedding hopefully Dec 2008. But just last sunday, his says that he want my bf to have 20k before getting married. His dad wants him to have a more stable job and salary. He wants my bf to save 20k first. I kinda :S.

I am happy for u least u r somewhere around there.

Do u have this problem?

 

[hoitytoity]

hullo poohbear n posie

i'll be having my wedding in aug 08. i feel quite blessed cos the church i booked will look after everything. just need to source for the caterer

.

as for poohbear's bf wanting to save up first, i think it is a good idea to have some $$ on hand. also, think it is gd that his dad is looking out for you in a way. having a stable job helps eliminate a lot of potential problems that may arise later on in the marriage. so all i can say is pray abt it with your bf and talk abt how you feel with him.

hope all goes well with you!

 

[poohbear80]

We did talk abt it too. I have a 5room flat which is under my name and dad's. So we do not have to worry abt the hse.

I know my bf's dad is thoughtful in a way. My bf's dad involves alot in my bf's life. His job, his money. Controlling him. He even took away my bf's ATM. giving him 100 every week. Just last wk, my bf left 10 in his wallet. He worked till past midnite. My bf ended walking home from Bedok to Hougang.

It's very disturbing to me. I even called off the pre marital counselling with his pastor?

 

[cheekies_baby]

Hi Pooh bear,

I will be having my AD in Dec 2008. Hang in there and pray for your bf's relationship with his Dad. Dun lose faith

Will be praying for you too...

 

[posiedosie]

aww.. poohbear Jesus is in control whatever you're feeling, He knows it and whatever lack that you are facing it now, believe that it has been fully paid for by His blood.
We are waiting to get our keys from HDB next month and looking around for IDs. As much as I'm encouraging you, I'm encouraging myself too!!

My bf is good with finances but not me hehe, so feel bad when i overspend ah well.. he has a stable job but mostly commission based..

 

[padi]

Poohbear: How about continuing with PMC even if you have not decided on a wedding day? Cos its helpful even to build on your relationship with him and to have a person to talk to regarding some possible relationship issues?

My hubby and I went through some counselling before we decide to get married. That helped us to be more sure about our decision to marry when he finally proposed.

 

[cheekies_baby]

Hi Hui, Posie and Pooh Bear,

Merry Christmas... Hope that all is good for each and everyone of you.

How's wedding prep coming along? Everything going on fine? Have booked the church venue but nothing else and frankly, don't know where to start to... Ah well, just try and relax and see where to go from here in a logical manner.

Oh and a great 2008 ahead too

 

[poohbear80]

Hi Pple

Thanks for dropping by. Thanks for the prayers as well. Great to hear that you guys are busying engage with your wedding plans.

Wil update u guys if there is any further plans

 

[posiedosie]

hello everyone, a Blessed New Year for 2008!!

have just started on looking for wedding dress, have checked out this little shop in IMM called Fay's couture, will be going for a 2nd visit soon but my HTB dun really like it cos he said their workmanship not very good, anyways when i go again will let you all know how is it haha.. can't wait to get our hse keys this month!!

 

[monkeymuffin]

Hi pooh bear, posie, hoitytoity, cheekies baby, hui and strawberry,

my church wedding is in Nov 08. Just tt. No gate-crash, no banquet.

agree with hui tt it will be good to still have premarriage counselling (PMC). even when the guy is still a "bf status". very helpful to let you two know what you want, and how to work towards it.

my sharing is that, I actually went thru not one, not two but three PMC! First bf could not resolve conflicts with me in a godly way, second bf refused to have children. Third bf is my FH.

so poohbear, try and go for PMC, ok? i find tt you sound very patient still, with your bf's dad. if it were me, i think i may not be tat patient, coz his actions are rather extreme. too controlling liao!

 

[poohbear80]

Hi MonkeyMuffin and Hui

Thanks for yr encouragement.

The other reason why I stopped the PMC, its also bcos I felt that he is still not someone who I can look up to. (In our 1st PMC, our pastor told my bf that he needs to be someone who I can look up to.

But I can see that my bf is making effort to change. He again told me recently that he will try his best to save up asap and change for the better. He used to have a bad habits of ignoring phonecalls. He tends to lie at times - fearing of rejections and pple looking down on him.

My bf's dad hopes that my bf can have a sum of money before marriage cos my bf will so called "moving in' with me. I have a 5 room house under my name which I shared with my dad when we 1st purchased.

He will be coming in. So his dad wants him to have at least a sum so that he can contribute to the house. (we wont need to spend $ on a hse as we have already have a quite a brand new house)

 

[monkeymuffin]

Dear strawberry,

same as you, my pastor also mentioned that our bf or FH must be someone we can respect.

my 2nd bf, the one who refused to have kids, had an inferiority complex. He din want kids coz he thinks it is impossible for him to take up the responsibility of being a father. the PMC made things clearer and we could see the situation better.

u think about it -- the PMC, i mean, but dun rule it out completely ya.

the moving in can be rather tricky. my FH and i dun have a pl to stay yet. my mom suggested we move into their pl but my FH was against it. so not an option for us. in my case, this is healthier because my mom tends to want to control everyone in her life.

 

[sparkless]

Good morning Ladies,

Wondering if anyone here faces the same problem as me. We (my bf and I) come from different churches. We dun really feel comfortable in each other's church so we have to start looking for another church. Little did I expect that this search could be a tough one.

so even if we want to start the PMC, we dunno where to begin. thought of doing it outside first and then have another one with pastor once we are settled. u gals think it is a good idea?

 

[monkeymuffin]

Dear Starrry,

church-searching is hard! I wish you and your FH all the best. you can let me know if you might want to try coming to my church/ bible study group. There are 3 couples getting married in my bible study group this year! 16 nov, 22 nov and 29 nov (that's me!) so we all sharing info and troubles, ha..

some things to consider: some churches would prefer to solemise weddings of couples who have done their PMC in the church itself. and "doing it outside first", do you mean with a non-christian org, like Marrige Counselling offered by community centres? Not really necessary to do PMC twice, i think. settle on a church first. see what the SOP are like for couples going to get married. can save time and energy.

Well, one thing

 

[posiedosie]

hello!! i'm attending our first marriage seminar this thurs and looking forward to it.. its a good thing my church does one on one counselling with each couple and there's also a session whereby the appointed pastor and his wife will also do a one on one with us separetly. Its good as they really let us know the realities of married life and what to expect in the marriage too.. looking forward to it

 

[monkeymuffin]

good for you, posie

one on one counselling should be real helpful. do ask all the questions now.
have a great PMC journey.

 

[poohbear80]

hi twinfairY

Although I may be in a quite a different situation as u but I wld like to share with u. I do not like my bf's church as its very rundown. My church 's building is much nicer than his.

The prob is I am and will be going his church together with his parents after our marriage. Well most pastors are not willing to conduct the wedding in other church. His parents may not agree to us holding it at other church. Its always my dream to conduct my wedding in my own church. I hope to be able to walk down the aisle whenever i see my church friends getting married. But I am sad that I may not be able to do tat. how? sigh

 

[eunicet]

Hello all! I'm new around here, getting married in December 2008! Looking forward to chatting and sharing more with you all...

Pooh>>I hope you will get a chance to negotiate with your bf and his parents...And that they'll understand...Even if they'd rather not, I do believe that you will have a memorable day because it will be with the love of your life! But yup, mushy-ness aside, happy planning!

 

[poohbear80]

hi eunice

thanks for your encouragement. My bf and I also considering getting married in Dec this year but provided everything goes well for us. Please pray for us.

Which church are u from if you dont mind telling

My bf's parents even got married in the church where we are worshipping so can you imagine how is the conditon. Not much changes to it. well..all the best in your preparation.

Hey ladies, do u have the msn? maybe we could chat more frm there? What u think?

 

[sparkless]

Hi strawberry,

i hope that you guys can work something out with his parents. Might be easier if your bf agrees with you and let him speak to his parents.

We are still in the midst of finding a new church. I haven't approached my pastor for PMC.

There are still many things that we haven't settled. Hopefully God will point us the right direction soon.

 

[eunicet]

Pooh/Strawberry>>

I hope everything goes well for you my dear!!

I just moved to Trinity Christian Centre about 6 months back, but not getting married there since it's such a big church, the bookings are crazy probably and we're not official members yet...I'm still a member of my parents' church...Haha, so they suggested I use it for practicality sake...But it was rebuilt so it's very new...

I agree with Starrry that it might be easier if your bf agrees with you...Then it might be easier to speak with the in-laws!!

My MSN is [email protected] from you soon!

Starrry>>> All the best with your searching!

What kind of church are you and your bf looking for? And when are you guys intending to get married?

*HuGS to all you Bride-to-Bes!*

 

[sparkless]

Hey Eunice,

We are just looking for a church that we are both comfortable in, eg the preaching, the cell group, the environment.

Tentatively is end 2009.

But we haven't got our own place yet. So everything is still subjected to change.

 

[eunicet]

Hi Starrry!

Not sure what type of church you are comfortable with, but you're always welcome to come to Trinity...I haven't been there for long, but have felt really at home these past 6 months...So if you want to come here to visit, do tell me ya? It's an Assemblies of God church, and I really do feel God's presence strongly...

As for me, I guess it's easier cos I'll be staying with my in-laws, so don't need to get my own place. HDB is balloting flats now, you know about it? Bedok, Queenstown and Clementi if I'm not wrong...

 

[de_luxe]

Hi there!
I am planning for my wedding in Sept 08. Any idea how much is it to rent a churcn?

 

[eunicet]

Hi de_luxe! I think it depends on whether or not you're a member of the church, as well as the capacity of the church...The church I'm having it at has a capacity of about 500 I think (though I don't think it'll be full!!) and it costs $700 for non-members, $400 for members...Hope that helps!

 

[sweetbabe30]

Hi, interested to know if its easy to lease a church hall for a solemnisation event for 200 ppl on a sunday if you dont attend the church? I attend a pentecostal church. Please advise.

 

[monkeymuffin]

Hi sweetbabe,
churches usually do not encourage couples to use the church for weddings on Sundays. besides, even if you do manage to get a church, it's probably only available in the later part of the afternoon.
i think it's much more advisable to consider a solemnization event on a Sat.

Starrry, let me know if you would like to visit my church, too. I also ended up in my current church after some church-searching. It's a (considerably modern) Presbyterian church.

 

[eunicet]

This forum has been pretty quiet for a bit! So I'm back to make some noise...

Actually I was just wondering if anyone has schedules to share with me for your actual days...I'd be having tea ceremony, church solemnisation and banquet all on the same day. Anyone like me? What are your schedules like?

Also, am starting to think about church deco, what theme I should have! Haha! So exciting!

 

[monkeymuffin]

Hi Eunice,
I'm having church solemnisation followed by tea ceremony. No banquet.
I'm thinking of starting the service at 11, lunch at 12. announce for parents and relatives to leave for lunch first as there'll be a tea ceremony at abt 1245 (in a multi-purpose room, not in the scantuary or canteen area). I'm also not sure if this is feasible actually.

for church decor, i'm going for a colour theme, purple, same as my catering. you could opt to have a more adventurous theme like doing up with pearls or candles. but i tell you, church decor with fresh flowers is SUPER EXPENSIVE. i've started looking at quotations and it is much more costly than i thought!

 

[monkeymuffin]

Hi Eunice,
I'm having church solemnisation followed by tea ceremony. No banquet.
I'm thinking of starting the service at 11, lunch at 12. announce for parents and relatives to leave for lunch first as there'll be a tea ceremony at abt 1245 (in a multi-purpose room, not in the scantuary or canteen area). I'm also not sure if this is feasible actually.

for church decor, i'm going for a colour theme, purple, same as my catering. you could opt to have a more adventurous theme like doing up with pearls or candles. but i tell you, church decor with fresh flowers is SUPER EXPENSIVE. i've started looking at quotations and it is much more costly than i thought!

 

[eunicet]

Hi monkeymuffin!

Thanks for sharing what your big day will be like! Mine sounds like it'll be VERY hectic!! Yikesy...Will you be having that bit where the groom does all the funny things to get his bride?

As for church deco, thanks for telling me that fresh flowers are super expensive...Thought that by default that's all that can be done...Will explore other ways of decorating! Purple's nice! What kind of purple is it? A deep royal kind or the lavender sort? Lavender roses are simply lovely!!

 

[monkeymuffin]

Hi Eunice,
no gate-crashing for me. Groom will be at the church waiting for me.

i've met up with Poppy. It's out of my budget. she says the "standard" amount couples spent with her for church decor is $1600. and when i saw the photos, i think for $1600, what you get is still very ordinary. think i might do with a freelancer or get frens to help DIY.

car decor is another area, Poppy florist says fresh flowers are very hard to maintain and the driver of the bridal got to stick the flowers on himself on the morning of the wedding. the florist will only attach the sponge. also if it rains, all the flowers will die. so she advised me to take a artificial flowers for car decor.

the purple with the catering is white roses with some purple accompanying flowers on light purple organza.

after speaking with the florist, i realised no need to really coordinate the catering colour to my bouquet and church decor, coz one's upstairs and the other is downstairs. might go for either pink/ baby blue/light purple for bouquet and church decor. (but definitely not anything red/ orange/yellow)

and yes, purple roses are beautiful!!

 

[eunicet]

Hi monkeymuffin!
Ok, I think no gate-crashing for me too! Though my parents and brother were quite excited...Haha...But will probably go for tea ceremony at bf's place first before church service...

As for the flowers, I was wondering if can buy and do DIY...Wasn't planning to get someone to do the deco actually...Car deco will be from my bridal studio, so am not really worrying about that yet...But maybe you should get artificial flowers for the car!

My mother in law said to make sure that when I think of a theme for deco, that there are colours, not just white...And must have colours for both guys and gals...Haha...Or neutrals I guess!

I want purple roses! But don't know how to blend with my theme! My gown will have a tinge of gold...

 

[bridethisyear]

hi monkeymuffin, do you know where to get affordable fresh flowers? I'm hoping to keep my church decor to within $200... is that unrealistic?

 

[monkeymuffin]

Eunice,

purple and gold...dunno how it'll look. which bridal studio are you with? is the bouquet provided? if yes, perhaps can consult the florist that ties up with your BS.

i thot of DIY too. but think u better get a team of frens or relatives to help u out. else you'll be too tired out the day before your wedding!

Affordable fresh flowers for church decor? got one thread in the forum recommend Mrs Teo, from Bedok North. check out this thread http://www.singaporebrides.com/cgi-bin/forumboard/show.cgi?539/230716

honestly $200 is impossible even with freelancers. only possible if you DIY.

 

[yongyong]

Hi Hi,
Do you all think is all right to do without Gate Crashing? Personally I find it troublesome to have one...but if Groom dun come and fetch you, the Bride travels to the Church alone with her family? then who take the official Bridal car, Groom or Bride? How about the Jiemeis, do they still need to accompany you?
I was just thinking, if we do not have Gate Crashing, there'll be lesser photo/ video moments ya?

 

[yongyong]

Hi me again,

Another issue that is bothering me.

As my maiden home is not in Singapore, my Fiance and I were thinking where should I chu1jia4(marry off) from. Shall we book a hotel suite or will it be appropriate to just chu1jia4 from our new house? it'll be renovated by then and I would have already moved in first for at least one month (Fiance will only move in after AD).
I really don't mind chu1jia4 from the new house coz it's much more convenient as in don't need to lug a lot of barang barangs to the hotel, but some friends commented that it's weird and nobody does that...

Want to hear from fellow Christian Bro and Sis...

 

[eunicet]

Hi Stir!
About gate crashing, I will probably do without as well...But you can still arrange to have the groom come and fetch you to church! It will be a nice gesture I guess...And I think it's really up to your arrangement, though I think your jiemeis won't have to be there...As for lesser photo/video moments, my fiance did say that there are many special moments in a wedding, don't have to have anything funny or things that may make the groom look bad on his wedding day! As for the other issue, sorry, I don't know anything about!

 

[sparkless]

I always think that wedding should be a joyous occassion. But everytime, me and my bf talk about anything in relation to the wedding and marriage, we will end up aruging and quarrelling.

Is it mandatory for the couple to attend a marriage preparation course by the pastor before getting wed? i dun want to raise up this topic, in the event he doesnt want to do it and we ended up quarrelling again.

I am beginning to think if we are compatible to start with. Why can 2 persons in love and in Christ have so much differences?

 

[necrosis]

hi stir,

i think most express video highlights are about the gate-crashing...the usual funny moments are typically abt the gate crashing. not neccessary of course.

alternatively, you could have a little photoshoot prior to church ceremony?
that way you'll arrive with the groom in chruch.

hi starry,
actually MPC is really useful.
the whole environment is very conducive for discussions and being open with each other without judging ( i attended the catholic one, EE, which was a stay in weekend)

perhaps you and your bf have different expectations abt wedding and the preps...commit the MPC (and other discussions) to Christ and He'll smooth the way for you.

 

[eunicet]

Starrry...I also am very cautious about bringing up stuff to do with wedding prep. And am really beginning to see the importance of committing the preparations to God, as well as all discussions. I think wedding preparations really help you to understand each other better, see both the good, the bad and the ugly.

Perhaps MPC will also allow for you all to understand each other better as well...

Btw, brides-to-be...I read this book: The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman...Not sure if you've read it before...Helps you to identify your love language (words of affirmation; acts of service; gifts; physical touch; quality time)and your spouse's, so that you'll better be able to communicate your love.

All the best to all!

 

[monkeymuffin]

Dear Starrry,

i realised after all my arguments with my bf, now fiance, that most of the times, it is not what topic i raised tt spark the argument, rather, it is the manner in which i raised the topic which caused us to quarrel.

Eg. the marriage prep tt you fear will cause you two to end up quarreling. since you already anticipate trouble, try taking EXTRA CARE and being EXTRA SWEET when you broach the topic.

ALL the pastors tt i have come across strongly recommend marriage prep classes. Do try and attend. I have shared before, i attended a total of 3 marriage prep classes. the first two helped me and my then-boyfriends to realise our incompatible sides, so we broke up amiably.

having said tt, i am still arguing like anything with my fiance now, over marriage preparations, so it is an on-going challenge indeed!

 

[sparkless]

Thank you all for your prompt replies.

i agree sometimes, it is the way the subject is being brought up and then the tone used. knowing he has a problem expressing himself well, i should be more patient. sigh! next time, i better count to 10 before i open my mouth, lest it break into a quarrel again.

I dunno if i should approach my pastor for the MPC. Becos the last time we had a big quarrel over wedding/ marriage stuff, he said i am always doing his responsibilities. So i dunno if he perceive approaching a pastor as his responsibility. Sigh! Guess, i would not do anything, until he proposes formally.

When we are not talking about wedding/ marriage stuff, we are all so lovey-dovey. Really have to trust in God to lead us in His way.

 

[sparkless]

I have read the "5 languages of love" and i have been encouraging him to read. Think he is too egostic to read and learn from it... sob sob

Anyway, for me, my love language is quality time and i think for him, it will be physical touch

 

[necrosis]

mmm...starry, maybe you can ask him specifically what he defines as his responsibilities re the wedding preps lor..
then you all agree who does what, and trust in each other (and the big Dadday) to do what needs to be done!

 

[eunicet]

Prayer makes a difference! I've been asking God for wisdom in the wedding preparations, in handling each other and all...And before meeting to settle things, covering everything in prayer...And yesterday, things went so so smoothly! Really thanks to the big Dadday! Ladies, let's pray together!

And anyway, Starrry, if you want, during those sweet sweet lovey-dovey moments, bring up why you would want him to read the book lor, that it would mean a lot to you...He might just do it...Or you can just share with him what you've learnt, perhaps tell him you want to speak his love language so that he'll feel more loved...He might feel moved!

 

[eunicet]

By the way, was looking through the past threads, in case anyone is looking for church deco...I saw in another discssion this website:

blissfulthots.multiply.com

Lots of accessories and stuff, plus they offer church deco...All VERY affordable! $450 for church deco...

 

[zhenzhen84]

Hi all

actually i've posted it in a new thread.
But i think it suits here better..
need some help here.

we be having our rom in a church and 1 yr later then the AD tea ceremony and dinner.

But im confused on the rom day in the church which is in a few mths time.
hmm..

1) me and hubby to be walk in together or my dad must walk me in?

2) no veil on rom. after saying the vows, just walk back together again?

wat to do in church? just sign and say vows and go for buffet? settle?

hope those who have been through rom in the church then sometime later then AD can advise mi?
or anyone?

thanx in advance

hope to hear from everyone soon.