Chinese n Malay wedding

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HakimAbbyChua

New Member
Hi guys im a Malay guy whose been dating with my Chinese girlfriend for up to 8 years now.. Even both our parents have approved us being together..

The problem is. My mom is a strong religious person so she expect my girlfriend to convert.

But her dad didnt agree to that

Im a Muslim but not a strong one. I dont mind living with her even though she didnt convert.

So im seeking a solution from any experienced couple or senior members to my problems
 


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JasTab

New Member
Hi,

The main reason why your mum wanted your gf to convert is to ensure that there is a common religion between yourself, your spouse and also any future kids.. Differences in Religion will pose as a major problem when baby is born & many marriages break down in the later part simply because the couple cannot compromise on the religion of the baby..

Discuss this thoroughly with your gf & her dad. What are your gf's thoughts on conversion? Is she ready for it? Know what exactly are her dad's concern over your gf's conversion, re-assure him that the conversion will not alter the fact that she is still his daughter.

I am speaking from personal experience. I am a Chinese Muslim convert & happily married to my husband who is an Arab. No major changes to my lifestyle other than abstaining from pork, annual fasting & prayers..

Hope this helps & Good luck to you & gf!
 
tomasulu

tomasulu

Member
i don't understand wanting someone to be a part of a religion against his or her will. why?

if you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to say no to your mum. and for her to say no to her dad if she does decide to convert.
 
C

Crystalanne

Member
Hallo everyone,

Mine is interracial marriage……
i'm Chinese wif a malay muslim Fiance . Need lotsa advice for planning of preparations for a Mixed-culture weddings. Anyone in similar cases like me? Pls advise!


my AD will b this coming sept 2014.................

(0 ',)


Collecting of Nikah Baju by end of feb

Confirmation of rings by March

Need to finalized Reception clothes by April…

Book ROMM date ON 9 April

ROMM interview after confirmation of booking

Pay another downpayent for the deco team

My void deck booking is due in May.

Berkat have to be ordered by June

Bridal shoes to b bought in June

My pre-wedding shoot is roughly in June

I need to start re-designing my room!!! (PAINT AND FURNITURE!)

Invitation cards printing in June.

Mailing out of Cards by July

DIY projects to b completed in June.

Tea ceremony preps with my maternal side By july/aug?

Still need to plan a meeting with the people involved!


any more things i need to note?
 
J

JasTab

New Member
Hi Crystalanne,

Congratulations to you! Mix-marriages are more troublesome, Especially, where there are 2 wedding receptions. Would you be doing the Chinese wedding banquet as well?
 
C

Crystalanne

Member
JasTab said:
Hi Crystalanne,

Congratulations to you! Mix-marriages are more troublesome, Especially, where there are 2 wedding receptions. Would you be doing the Chinese wedding banquet as well?
Click to expand...
jus a normal tea ceremony .onli n my mum will b sponsoring it
 
S

sadman2009

Active Member
tomasulu said:
i don't understand wanting someone to be a part of a religion against his or her will. why?

if you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to say no to your mum. and for her to say no to her dad if she does decide to convert.
Click to expand...
I agree with what Tomasulu said. Hakimabbychua, I believe you are old enough to make your own decision and if you really love your girlfriend, you should stand up for her and not to force her to convert. As a man of your future family, you should talk to you mother, of course in a nice way, and let her know that she can't force or make people convert if the person doesn't want to or is not ready for it.
If you can't even do this, then I have to say that ... YOU ARE NOT READY TO MARRY HER.
Then if you really can't do it or your mother is very insistent... Then for the happiness of yourself and your future wife .... I advise you to go and marry a Malay girl instead.
 
E

EzRaynE

New Member
I'm Malay Muslim, my fiancé is Chinese and my religion is not that strong either. I do follow the basic dos and donts and I'm aware of the consequences of civil marriage. We've dated for 7 years and are getting married end of this year. Throughout the 7 years, I've never forced him to convert though we both know that if he doesn't, there won't be any marriage. I even accepted the fact that we may just stayed as bf/gf until maybe one day we break. My family on the other hand, keep urging him to convert etc but I fully understand if doesn't want to. We did talk about religion issues when he asked about it. He's a person of logic who can't believe in things he can't see (eg. Allah). Around the 5th year, I just brought him to Darul Arqam to introduce and learn about the religion. Eventually, he's the one who wanted to learn more and converted. I didn't ask him to convert and he converted not because he wants to marry me. Of course in the initial stage, his father was against it due to alot of misunderstanding towards the religion. Now, being a Chinese convert for almost a year, I'm proud to say his religious beliefs is stronger than mine and I'm learning from him.
 
N

niqiuh

New Member
Hi, I m a chinese looking to be converted to a muslim in the near future. I have a malay muslim boyfriend. The conversion was due to my own curiosity & gained the enlightenment. yes, the conversion shouldn't be against own will irregardless which religion you are. Darul arqam is a good place to start knowing if conversion is the choice you want.
I m looking for ideas & advices with regards to cross-culture wedding. Anyone has experience to share with regards to cross-race / cross-culture wedding??? :)
 
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pasir_ris_beach

Member
speechless to see you chinese converts...

in fact i also had a short distance relationship with a javanese muslim guy last year but unsure of what to do. i do love this javanese man deep but my family is against the idea of me moving to batam and wanted me to get chinese guy which i did reluctantly just to please my family. but however deep in my heart i dun really have feelings (love) for this chinese guy. i still miss the javanese guy alot due to my love for him. feeling so helpless & ashamed.
 
Last edited:
buddhabar

buddhabar

Active Member
Another non marriage issue in a marriage. Wait till you understand how difficult a marriage may be
you will realize how silly are these issue. However, in Singapore, marriage is always about the entire
family and clan....so good luck to you TS.
 
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