Catholic Brides

[purpleclouds]

hi, anyone served beer during the church lunch reception at the church premises? My parents wish to serve beer so was wondering does the church allow??

Also, only my side(girl's side) will be invited to the lunch reception in church after the ceremony as my HTB side (most of them are non-catholics who will not be attending the mass) will be going over to his house instead for the boy's side reception. Is it a weird arrangement?

 

[bluebearypie]

hi purpleclouds,

Your arrangement sounds a lot like mine. I had gatecrashing, tea(girl), church, church reception, tea(boy), dinner. Is yours the same?

I only had 1 set of aunt/uncle from the guy's side attending the church ceremony + recep, but all his cousins attended cos we also roped them in to help out for deco, recep, etc. All the rest were having lunch at his house...

 

[minssy]

hi purpleclouds,

not nice to serve beer in church.. its as good as allowing smoking...

the arrangement is fine...

 

[beetlejuice]

Hi gals..

I need advice. Minssy, nice to see u here
My FH is a divorcee, so my priest says that he needs to anorn his previous marriage den we can get married in church. So he has to sent the documents to Rome & get them to sign & return to S'pore.
Issue is He did not inf me that we hv to pay an admin fee of S$500, after that pay abt euro $350 for the Rome docu.
Is it a normal procedue? can bypass it?
Hv to pay over 1k, vv stress now

I dont underst, he oredi sign his divorce paper 9 yrs ago, wat's there to anorn.

 

[liz4jeroen]

Hi jass,

i'm not sure how much must be paid n it really is expensive. But I do know that if u want to marry in church, u've to go through the procedure n get the annualment from the pope or else u r not allowed to b married in church. It's the church law. Hope this helps.

 

[lyons]

<font color="119911">hi jass, although your FH signed the divorce papers, it's in the eyes of the law. In the eyes of the church, he is still married (assuming he married in a church previously). He has to write in to the pope with reasons that can be justified (ask your priest how to write the letter) and he will annul the marriage.
Without the approval from the pope, your FH cannot get married in a church. As for the price... sorry I'm not too sure about it.</font>

 

[kitty_li]

hey elizabeth...long time no see. How are you?

How's life over there?

Hi jass,
yup, it's a necessary procedure that your FH has to take. The whole process can take very long. A fren's fren waited I think 5 to 10 years (if I dun recall wrongly). But it could be coz their case was more complicated. The Church views the Sacrament of Marriage very strictly (well, it is a Sacrament afterall), so there's all these laws to abide by.

 

[jennylimsw]

yup, thats the price to pay. It is fix. It will take almost one year to settle everything. You will need to get ur FH's ex wife and ex wife's close relatives (either one of them-sister/bro/parents)to have an interview with the priest. And ur FH and FH close relatives as well to get interview. Of course, all are interview at different times. Also, they need to know when u first met him and when was his divorce to verify that u are not the third party.

 

[beetlejuice]

Hi ladies,

Tks for all ur advise. So glad at least some of u here can share wat I'm gg thou.
Well, my FH is not a catholic.
Got to noe him after he divorce. Well God must hv a plan for me to get to know my FH..hee
Ya, my priest did told me abt the interview wif his ex &amp; relative, prob is my FH dont even keep contact wif her anymore since many yrs ago.
Why so much procedure? got to interview his family so more.
My priest is super ons one. Must gv him 1 half yrs to prepare our marriage.
Now me oredi feeling the stress liao.

 

[minssy]

hi jass,

oh!!!! if he is not a catholic, the precious information that the gals mentioned is not applicable leh....

well, priests varies.. some are quite easy going... there is always a standard procedure to follow if you want to get married in a catholic church.. but it will be worth it cos its ultra sweet and important for catholics to be married in the church

take care..

 

[mrs_n]

Actually what the girls said above is applicable even if the divorcee is not a catholic. This is because the Catholic church recognises civil marriages between non-catholics as valid. In order for your FH to be married in a catholic church he also needs to undergo the annulment process.

jass it is not the priest making things difficult for you. This is the law of the Catholic Church and the priest is compelled to obey. In some cases, annulment can take a long time. So I think it is prudent of him to ask you to prepare for it well in advance as he can't marry you in church before your FH gets his annulment. Anyway as you say God has His plans for allowing you to meet your FH. If it is His will that you marry him, he will make a way for you no matter how tough the journey is.

 

[beetlejuice]

Hi minssy

I just dun underst why is there such a law? isn't this law set by human themselves?
I would rather answer to God my self when I mit up with Him in heaven.
Now is not the $ issue, but time comsuming.
I dont even know when I can actually hv a date to get married.
Sigh.. now just hv to wait wait wait.

 

[beetlejuice]

Tks mrs N..

I will just my fingers now &amp; pray that the annulment will not take long, as I my FH oredi divorcee 9yrs ago.

Tks everyone for ur help.

 

[mrs_n]

Hi jass these laws aren't made to make life difficult for us but as my parish priest often tells us 'The laws of the Church are there to help us become fully alive and fully human.' Yes the laws are written by man, just as the bible was and if we have no faith this is what we will believe. But as people of faith, we believe that all those men who wrote these laws and bible so many many years ago were governed by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. There is one thing I believe: anything that does not come from God will not stand the test of time and these laws have been in place for centuries. So it can't be bad for the church can it?

It must be tough doing all this waiting. But there are some things in life that are worth waiting for. And God makes all things beautiful in HIS time.

 

[liz4jeroen]

Well said Mrs N!

Jass, I'm sure that God will see both of u through this. As the song goes God will make the way. I'm sure that after this it will make your marriage ceremony and your life together as a married couple more strong and beautiful. It establishes trust, patient and love for one another. Though I don't have the same experience as yours but I've to wait also in Netherlands to get my papers done before I can get married. A lot of procedures too! Over here unlike Singapore, things are very slow esp the city hall where i live. Nevertheless, He leads us in a very interesting way where He makes all things work. Our wedding date has to be delayed also. Blessings in disguise that it gives us more time to save up and to plan as we'll finiancial very tight. The paper work cost money. To let you know it cost my hubby 830 euro(abt $1660) just to get a temporary permit for me to come over and the other procedure also is not cheap. My hubby does not earn a lot too. We were very stress then. It was such a long and tough journey. But In God's time, all ends well. Like Nrs N says, if it is meant to be, He really has a hand in it and everything just falls into place. Pray and put yout trust and faith in God, He will gives you the graces to walk this journey.

 

[liz4jeroen]

HI CSI, Busy here as usual! School started not last week and I've to start researching for my 1st assignment. HOw've u been? I saw yr photos! Very nice!

 

[minssy]

hi jass,

wow.. i hope you feel edified by the sharing of the gals here.. can't share your frustration but hope you can have the patience to go thru this.. i am sure you and your FH will develop a deeper love for each other

 

[beetlejuice]

Minssy, Yeah am sure is unlifted oredi.
To all who hv shared my story, appreciate all those who shared too.

GOD will make a way, like wat Elizabeth said, mayb it's a blessing in disguise, both if us can hav more time saving $$. Hee

Am feeling so much beta now

God bless all

 

[lyons]

<font color="119911">all the best jass! Pray to God, that he will give you both strength to get through this. I'll keep you in my prayers too.</font>

 

[kitty_li]

All the best jass...Have faith. HE will lead you through.

Hi Elizabeth! hahahaha...thanks...our PG is good lah...hehs. Can't believe it, time flies and it's coming to 1 year. We're busy as usual, but now we've an additional thing to do - preparing for Baby L's arrival in a few months. Ahh...assignment time. Can be fun and torturous, both at the same time! hahaha...

 

[liz4jeroen]

Hi Jass, Glad that u're feeling better.

HI CSI, WOw! COngrats! Looks like everyone ard me that i know is pregnant either 1st or 2nd child. I've to wait still... Cannot cope with study n having a baby yet. Hopefully next end of the yr! When are u due exactly?

 

[minssy]

hi jass,

yeah.. glad that u r feeling better.. come here when you need to vent!

hi csi fan,

congrats.. year end is coming

 

[blessingsincounting]

Dear Mrs N and Minssy,

Thanks for your past advises. Glad to announce that we went thru all basic hussles

Had already confirmed AD date, banquet, AD VG &amp; PG, bridal house. Had booked and made deposit for Church of Sacred Heart and will have my fr from my parish to come and officiate as my church is going to undergo a renovation.

Would like to ask if anybody will be able to let me know some headings;

1) Sacred Heart does not have their own choir and we are to get our own. The nice parish secretary recommend us Philip Lye and The Holy Spirit Choir. Is there any further recommendations that I can approach?

2) Our inquiry with our Fr. will be arrange after my baptism next yr in March. Any knowing when should I start preparing my wedding mass booklets?

3) Any florists and good caterers to recommend?

Minssy, thanks for adding me! =^.^=

 

[blessingsincounting]

Jass, feel your frustrations while reading. It must be hard on you and your FH. But yes, I do share the same thoughts with the others. God has a divine plan for you and your FH. HE has a way for you. Fret not and have absolute trust in him

Pray more Jass.

 

[lyons]

<font color="119911">CONGRATS CSI! Wow... you're a mummy liao!

Hi blessings, Philip Lye is really popular. His rates are reasonable and he's got a good voice. He's blind and he's got his wife to accompany him. He plays the organ and sings as well. You could approach the choir in SFX but I think they might be a bit ex.

Florists I'm using Blissfulthots and Rasel for caterer.</font>

 

[beetlejuice]

Thank you all for ur prayers &amp; help.
A little something to share. God Bless...

"Whatever your cross, whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine,after the rain ....
Perhaps you may stumble,perhaps even fall,
But God's always ready, To answer your call ...
He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
A word from His lips, can calm every fear ...
Your sorrows may linger,throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish,in dawn's early light ...
The Savior is waiting,somewhere above,
To give you His grace,and send you His love ..
Whatever your cross,whatever your pain,
'God always sends rainbows .....after the rain ..."

 

[beetlejuice]

 

[bluebearypie]

Hi Jass,

Thanks for sharing the comic strip. I love it. It's so poignant.

 

[lysha]

Hello gals

I need help!! Do any of you know which bride is getting married in St Theresa on Jan 12 2008, morning session?

I called the church secretary and asked her for the contact number. When I called up, it was a wrong number. The secretary wasn't helpful at all, just informed me that's the only number she has. I can't imagine having to deal with her when it's nearer to my wedding date.. sigh..leave a bad taste in my mouth.

If you know the bride or the groom, do let me know k?> I need to ask them whether they want to share the florist with me

Thanks alot
Lysha

 

[blessingsincounting]

Hi Lysha, ya the church secretary wasn't helpful when I tried to make my booking. Why dun you try to call Fr. Arro and ask for the help? He's sweet and helpful enough.

 

[rubberducky]

Hi,

Would anyone happen to know if we can receive communion during the half-hour wedding service??

TIA!

 

[minssy]

hi blessings,

philip lye is wonderful! he alone can sing and melt everyone's hearts with his lovely voice

call him at 6566 1683.

my florist is susan.. 9699 0104.... a fellow catholic from holy trinity..

hi quack,

wedding service is about 45 mins at least.. yes u can slot in the communion...

 

[blessingsincounting]

Hi minssy, yap the nice secretary from sacred heart recommended Philip Lye.

One quick question hor minssy, how long does a wedding mass takes? An hour as with the usual mass?

 

[kitty_li]

Hi elizabeth, Bride...Thanks!

heehee...

Hey Lysha, yah, the church secretary is totally unhelpful. If you were to read through the archives (think around May - June period), you can read about some of the grouses some other brides and me had with the sacristian (think she's worse than the secretary - or are they now the same person?)

 

[kitty_li]

hehs, Blessings, I think generally it will take 1 hour...but also depends on the priests. Heard one fren attended one that lasted 3 hrs, coz homily was super long, huge crowd etc. Mine was about 1.5 hrs...hahahaha...think coz priest talked quite a bit and I had 2 celebrants. heehee...

 

[blessingsincounting]

Hi CSI,

Hmm...think I'll put it as 1.5hr for the mass ba. Now trying to work out a draft for timetable since my timing very upside down. Gotta be at our lovenest before 7am then in b/w 1pm - 3pm gotta hui men...so kinda struck thus now gotta start draft some plans for the day so we can have a rough idea of when to wat.

Aiyo...3 hours mass!! Nvr heard of it leh.

 

[lysha]

Hello gals,

Thanks. yep, this is not the first time I am hearing bad things abt the secretary. What a waste, such a pretty church but not so friendly staff..she even said that if you want to book the church, just arrange for payment soon, don't wait till last minute coz she has other things to do, not so free to wait for me to hang on to the booking..very sarcarstic remark.

I do want to write to the priests and give them my honest feedback abt the staffs. My friend's mother recently passed away and he had difficult time with the lady too for funeral arrangment. really have to pray for these ppple..if not, they might just paint a very bad picture abt catholics, rude and not helpful.

But pls pls..if you gals know of the couple on the 12th, please let me know ok..many thanks

 

[bluebearypie]

hi Blessings, I had no idea how long mine lasted leh. wah... come to think of it, I don't have any idea when what started. It's as if my mind is wiped blank after the whole event.

hi bride, so sorry! I didn't see your message about the sharing of photos until now. I PM you the link liao. Wow, and I just realised (from your profile) that you are using Ted Wu! Lucky gal

 

[minssy]

hi blessings,

yeah

1 hr mass.. service is 10 - 20 mins shorter, depends mainly on how long is the homily. hahahaha

yah slowly plan your timetable, get the skeleton out and slowly adjust..

 

[blessingsincounting]

hi minssy, hmm...think I can allocate 90 mins for the mass plus minus including photos taking. just in case the homily super long

 

[minssy]

hi blessings,

a...... u must agar agar know the priest's pattern lor.. but 90 mins incl phototaking should be ok.. unless u have a huge crowd then it will normally take longer..

 

[blessingsincounting]

hmm...my priest...ok. seldom exceed the timing for normal mass leh. but then whats the definition of a huge crowd? haha...

 

[rubberducky]

Thanks Minssy!

 

[minssy]

hi blessings,

hhahahag. more than... 150? hehe.

hi quake,

welcome

 

[blessingsincounting]

keke...than mine consider small crowd. estimate abt 100 - 120 ppl haha

 

[snowball05]

Hi Bbp, thanks for sharing that info. That makes sense now cos the mass booklet my friend sent me, her wedding was in 05! haha

 

[minssy]

hi blesssings,

yeah its definitely manageable.. kekeek..

 

[kloudiia]

Hi Matahari

I'm getting married at ST Mary of the Angels. St Clare hall already has it's own sound system, so when you rent the hall it comes with it. Why don't you call the church admin and ask who to liaise with regards to the music arrangements?

 

[jadeyu]

hi all,

I'm a soon to be baptised bride hence there are a lot of things that i do not know as i plan for my wedding next year. Can i check with any ladies here, how early should i book the church? Are all churches unavailable for bookings on Sundays?

Thanx.

 

[minssy]

hi jadeyu,

plan as early as possible as you need to book the date, time and the priest..

most do not allow.. i think csi fan mentioned that only 1 church allows but off hand i can't recall.. therefore, if you can do, do it on a sat?

u gotta call up the church secretariat to make the booking and will need to go down to fill up the form and speak to the priest.