Can any one kindly guide me how to check someone marital status?

fang1031983

New Member
i am crazy confused now. i dont know how to do.i am not singaporean, but my bf is.we have been together for nearly 2 years and he told me he divorced. but from my sense, i doubt it.but i really dont know how to check.i found record on ROM but it didnt show divorce record, just marriage date. Can any one help me?i just wish to get rid of this big question mask.
 


fang1031983

New Member
i have checked this but is there any method that i can conduct the search, pay and take the result on line? cos i am abroad, not in singapore
sad.gif
 

margret

Member
u can't chk from the court unless u are the one involved in the divorce.

i know of how to, if u interested, email me.
 

powder

Active Member
如果你对他讲的è¯éƒ½æœ‰æ‰€æ€€ç–‘,那你ä¸è§‰å¾—你应该考虑你是佛还应该跟他继续æ¥å¾€å—? é‡ç‚¹ä¸åœ¨äºŽä»–有没有骗你,是在于你信ä¸ä¿¡ä»–。查了有这么样?

ps: my chinese sucks by the way... but i think sometimes the chinese language expresses relationships better...
 

fang1031983

New Member
我瞭解你的æ„æ€ã€‚但是如果說完全相信所有å°æ–¹çš„話,比較難。他是來此地工作,他說他在Sing怎樣,那我怎能去考研?他回去的時候,10天就完全沒有è¯çµ¡äº†ï¼Œå›žä¾†é€™è£¡å°±æ¢å¾©ã€‚除了這懷疑,我找ä¸åˆ°å…¶ä»–原因了。å¯æ˜¯æˆ‘怎能開å£è¬›é‚£äº›æ‡·ç–‘的話?愛就愛了,但是心裡一直想追求一個清楚的答案。痛苦也甘願。應該是我太笨
my chinese is suck, also,like my english since both are not my mother tongue >_<
sorry
 

momoftwo

Member
fang, just ignore that idiot Powder.

trust must be earned, don`t give away trust blindly.

if that man is causing you doubt, you should find out.

there are many men who just wants to cheat because they think they can get away with it. And you should never want to be in any relationship with these type of men.

if they can cheat on their current partner, they too can cheat on you later.

good to know you are not another gullible woman。

dont ignore what your gut or instinct tells you. if you are wrong, thats all good. if you are right, you`ve just saved yourself a heartache.

good luck
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
there isn't any suggestion to trust blindly. Its not about investigating and checking, there will be no end to it. He might not have lied this time, it doesn't make him anymore trust worthy. If the guy cannot be trusted, then rather, rethink over the relationship.

its a simple message. Your perception is tinted over your row with him in another thread.
 

momoftwo

Member
Fang, 2 years of relationship. You should have no problem asking him to show you a copy of his final divorce judgement papers.

Ask him directly , if he has nothing to hide he wont need to hide.

If he refused to show.. and demand that you trust his words.. Then you know its time to walk away from this relationship.
 

momoftwo

Member
Milo, your perceptions are also tinted by your personal biases. And your lack of insight to a woman's mind.

Women are doubtful creatures, because we know there's many dishonest men out there. Even men who seemingly honest yet turned out to be a seasoned cheat upon discovery.

The checking and investigating are to allay our doubts and fears.

Every woman wants a sense of security in relationships.

And men will do stupid and senseless things ( in the eyes of women), that will rock that sense of security from time to time.

Without security, a woman will be stranded emotionally, unable to move forward.

What Fang is trying to do is to resolve the conflict within her, so she may decide where to go next.

She simply want make an INFORMED decision so she will not suffer regrets later.
 

momoftwo

Member
Any man who demands to be trusted, but has not yet earned the trust... simply isn't trust worthy.

A trusting relationship is one that has no secrets to hide.

No secret passwords to protect.. no hidden messages to crack... no puzzles to solve.
 

momoftwo

Member
Women all go into a relationship with certain amount of blind trust.

Men ( and their ego) who are able to keep that trust.. naturally wants to attribute his success to what he is doing for the relationship.

....the reality is... it's what he is NOT doing... to damage the given trust. Hence the ability to keep it intact.

of course , this can apply to both female and male in any given relationship.
 

momoftwo

Member
Fang, I noticed in another thread you lament about your ex being a married man.. and you waited for him to no avail.

This time round, you got involved with another man who claimed to be divorced but never proved it with the legal documents.

May i ask, why you seem to be attracted to men who are not available ?

Are the honest bachelors in your town/country all dead ?

Perhaps you have a severe lack of self-respect that's why you relegated yourself to being a mistress or secret lover , ...Foolishly hoping to gain some status after you have invested your time.

If you want respect from anyone, you need to first respect yourself.
 

fang1031983

New Member
Thanks, Momoftwo. i got the big mistake in the past so i moved on with another. when i knew him, he told me he divorced. and seem like that all the time, except the period he came back Sing. i kept asking but whenever i asked he always had good reason like too busy to visit relatives, took mom to hospital, no time to buy a Sing nos...i dont know how to ask next. cos i feel there is no use to keep asking. i think the only to discover it by myself. If he is really like he said, i would be happy and can trust him more. If not, i will out of this. It can be suffer but like i said, i cant keep this question mask hang over like this
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
momoftwo, in your response, when you wrote "your perceptions are also tinted by your personal biases", you indirectly acknowledged your tinted perception. However, you choose to be on the offensive to suggest and assume many things. I merely pointed that no one suggested blind trust.

Your assumptions uncalled for... only there as a form of retaliation. Except, you are not under attack.

"Women are doubtful creatures, because we know there's many dishonest men out there". There are also many dishonest women, it doesn't at all justify anything. We look within the relationship and not elsewhere for answers. The insecurity lies in the relationship as well as individual history. The more we understand the reasons and not push it to generic external reasons to excuse them, the clearer we are about the situation. There are many women that could trust their partners as well, they are not ignorant to the fact that there are lots of cheating men.

"The checking and investigating are to allay our doubts and fears."
The checking will be endless since you will always reason that there are many dishonest men around... No matter who they are with, how good and worthy they are. You don't even know how lame that justification is.

Trust is earned not by checking. Would an understanding and assuring partner with a suspicious wife be the same as a serial cheating liar?? With your logic, it would be the same. because there will always be dishonest men around. So, the wife should always be wary and suspicious. Trust is lost by the actions in the relationship very much how it is earned. It is 2 ways. Not just the woman waiting to approve and grant him trust. A person that mistrust without a reason within the relationship to cause her to, needs to cope with her insecurities. Yes, the partner can be understanding and assuring. However, only she can deal with her insecurities.

There is no rule to demand assurance or trust. both doesn't exist. Relationships isn't a rule where he does this and you trust him or you check him how often and therefore you can trust him.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
If the guy is sneaky and cannot be trusted, its a no brainer. The checks merely present obvious facts to be flat on the face to make the woman finally stop her blindness, accept reality and stop giving excuses for his sneaky behaviors &amp; lies. If he is a honest man, all the checkings is an insult to the relationship and sincerity that he has given. One has to be clear exactly where the insecurity is coming from. If its from external pressure or its instinctive feelings over the lies that are surfacing.
 

momoftwo

Member
fang,
It is understandable for you to feel uncertain , as is the same for all long distance relationship.

If you desperately need the assurance, you can hire a Private Investigator to follow him during his stay in Sing.
 

momoftwo

Member
Milo,

Something is really wrong with the men in this forum, the fragile egos, and jumpy attitudes... so annoying !!

So I am tinted.. and yours is clear ? Please... have some introspection and self honesty will you ?

Powder is indeed an idiot, and what exactly is your relationship with him ? Whats with the brown nosing , is he your boss ? Your dad ? your lover ?

Yes I don't like Powder, he acts like a wounded animal when he gets called out.. ..am I suppose to pretend he is such a nice guy ?

So much rubbish coming from one guy. shame on you for allowing this to go on for so long.

Please focus on some intelligent and constructive discussions.

really that loser powder is not worth fighting for. IMHO.

And believe it or not, ALL women are insecure. That's why we want our men to buy us expensive shiny stones and tell us how much they love us ALL THE TIME.

WHY .. because we are insecure and men needs to SHOW us how much they love us.
 

momoftwo

Member
Milo, ask yourself why got valentine day ? Why have to bring her to go special treat once a while ? Why must men need to constantly show appreciation ? Why ?

If women are secure, we wouldn't need to buy expensive gifts, we wouldn't want our men to do nice things for us.

All those special stuffs you do for your wife.. are VALIDATIONS of your love for her.

Women NEED validations.. because we are simply INSECURE people.

Some women are more obvious... these are the ones you guys coined as "clingy".

Some women are less obvious.. these you call as "independent".

But if you stop giving her validations, she will will start questioning your love for her. When she starts questioning, you guys coin it as " INSECURE".

Now.. if you are looking for someone who needs no validations, no special gifts to please her.. she is not secure... she is just not into you.

Do I make myself clear ? Or do you still think I am "tinted" ?
 

momoftwo

Member
Fang, here is what I found on one of our online news outlet.
"Family Court number: 64355398 (Writ for Divorce) and the duty officer explained that they do not release information to third parties due to privacy issues. If you wish to obtain the divorce information, you will need to engage a lawyer who will write to the Family Court to release the information. However, this application is still subject to the Family Court’s decision."

Hopefully you get what you are hoping to find. Good luck.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
I suggest you to reread what you are writing. As much as you find others comments to be irritating... look at your reflection.
happy.gif
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
momoftwo, my wife was once a young girl that needed all these validations as well, what you termed as 'clingy'. We progressed and understand ourselves alot better. We learnt to deal with our needs and traits. We don't need special days etc. How we did it? As a team, growing together. Many others as well.

Her own family thanked me for helping her mature to who she is today. I took no credit, we did it together and picked up the lessons WITHOUT blame and excuses.

You are behaving like a frog in a well. Grow up and stop insisting that you need all theses.
 

fang1031983

New Member
Thanks Milo and Momoftwo
happy.gif
.i have read all your comments and you know,i think both of you are right,somehow. we all have own way and find it suit with yourself or not. i will think about this more carefully, consider about if any "fact" will be disclosed after that. i am not so good enough to judge or to criticize any one.we are all learning, anyway.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
"Powder is indeed an idiot, and what exactly is your relationship with him ? Whats with the brown nosing , is he your boss ? Your dad ? your lover ?"

Actually, I should be asking you this question. Your strong emotions towards him affected your perception completely. You don't seem to be even reading what was written. I'm telling you NO ONE is talking about blind trust. I'm not even talking about who wrote it, but you misreading it because of your strong emotions. Go reread and clarify exactly where is the suggestion that advocates blind trust?
 

momoftwo

Member
Milo, look brother.. I don't know what you are trying to achieve here.

"é‡ç‚¹ä¸åœ¨äºŽä»–有没有骗你,是在于你信ä¸ä¿¡ä»–。查了有这么样"

Can you read mandarin ?
Can you explain what the above sentence mean ?


As for you and your wife.. wow.. just wow... you still don't get it do you.

Why don't you do a small experiment on your very secure wife.

Stop talking to her for a few days.. shut off your phone and don't pick up her call .... stay over night at your friend place.

Then you tell me.. if she will become insecure again.. or she simply don't give a hoot what you do... then I will be able to tell you .. if your marriage is now only an empty shell.

But try this at your own risk.. because trust takes a few seconds to break.. and several years to repair.
 

momoftwo

Member
I am finding the men here in this particular forum.

Naggy, shallow, ignorant, unable to withstand opposing views, have the "knight in shiny armor " complex, have fragile ego, don't know how to engage in a discourse, are not very intelligent, must be right all the time, or people must all agree with them all the time.
 

momoftwo

Member
Milo, if you are trying to be the mediator, you are doing an exceptionally horrible job.

What is between Powder and me is something you should stay out of.

Learn to pick your battles, and learn to pick your friends properly.

The moment you associate yourself with fools, you will start to look like a fool too.
 

powder

Active Member
it says alot abt your character when instead of addressing me directly, u go one big round to get to the point u're trying to make, which is just a disagreement with my statement. and instead of addressing that statement, u choose to summon Men, Women unity, the stars, the moon, and every darn element... except the simple ability to use your brain and rebutt or refute me.

u have not said anything abt the statement, except to lay all sorts of emotional baggage and place your overbloated ego on it and insist everyone bow to u in a somewhat inferior manner.

"unable to withstand opposing views....." your mind is screwed-up cos this whole paragraph basically describes none other than u.

u may not realise this, but there hasn't been anyone who agrees nor lend support with anything u said thus far.

your obsession with me is becoming abit psychotic.

u're pathetic...
 

momoftwo

Member
Oh boy look at the wrath I've created here.

You guys are so puny minded it's baffling.

I called you an idiot.. and your bff Milo jumped to your rescue.

Yes I still think you're an idiot. With too big an ego for your intellect.

sure sure, you have your whole contingents of fools supporting what you say. Does that makes it legit ? Nope. It just means your gangs are just as dumb as you are.

My obsession with you ? LOL !!! Get over yourself fool.

My obsession is calling out the IDIOTS in this forum spewing tons of nonsense since.. say 2004.

Now if you are an idiot.. then yes I am obsessed with you.
Are you ?
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
this is just retard. you threw in a lot of crap thinking its some jewel. Well, perhaps I would be impressed if I'm some naive teenager clueless on basic gender traits. The fact is you have not the slightest clue what others is telling you is damn shocking. Rescue what?!? Powder needs no rescuing. I'm addressing your inability to discuss on the topic on hand. Stop masking your bruised ego and need to argue over something you already agreed to from your first reply to me. Something pointed out to you early on.

"your perceptions are ALSO tinted by your personal biases". Your wiggling is so lame. IDIOT indeed.

While trying to make this a gender thing, do be reminded that several ladies spoke of their disagreement with you as well.

I guess I'm expecting too much from you to understand simple english. No need to try a different language. Its not about the language, its your inability to accept any disagreement that puts you on the defensive mode all the time. There is no need to say more. Your answers defeats itself and removes any doubt on what an idiot you really are. Have a good morning. CHEERS.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
"Learn to pick your battles, and learn to pick your friends properly."

strange... I'm not in a battle. This is a forum, a place to exchange and discuss. I'm doing just that. You are here to fight? Well... its pretty obvious. That's what I'm pointing out to you. You are not discussing on the points in the thread but picking up a fight over your fetish hatred for powder.

Your little experiment you spoke about is just as retard. You don't need to educate others over things you clearly haven't really internalize. Try to reread everything else to UNDERSTAND before you reply again. A working relationship involves 2 individuals that are clearly mutually understanding each other differences and needs, able to accomodate and be sensitive towards their partners. Not simply depending on your stupid harping over common sense gender differences. Validating one's needs and emotions doesn't happen by demanding and imposing them the way you are.

Your claim that you have been in this forum since 2004?? Oh yah.... I believe you since you spoke about men in this forum like a total new discovery. This is so CREDIBLE. Its a very good morning joke. Thanks.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
adding on your experiment....

You cannot even get your use cases correct. An experiment that only reenforces what I've been saying. Doing things within the relationship that affects it is EXACTLY what I'm saying all the long. To prove your point, your experiment should throw in all the affairs of completely unrelevant and unrelated people in attempt to scare my wife.

Happy valentines and go find your once a year stupid rock of security while millions of couples enjoy security and love within their relationship daily.
 

momoftwo

Member
LOL.. Milo, you are so dumb.. 2004 refers to Powder's registered date. Tsk tsk tsk...

Do you have problem reading and understanding ? I think you do you know.
 

momoftwo

Member
Several ladies disagree with me ?... hmmm let's see.. oh yes.. that Danielle is only ONE. The one that seeks to destroy her own marriage ? Sure.. count that one in.. but that's not two.

Really.. Milo.. have you forgotten how to count ?

Nobody is wiggling.. if anything YOU are wiggling. So you want to insist Powder is not talking about blind trust ?

Let's see, Fang's reply is "我瞭解你的æ„æ€ã€‚但是如果說完全相信所有å°æ–¹çš„話....."

So are you saying both myself and Fang "MIS-UNDERSTOOD" powder's comment.. or perhaps powder is unable to communicate his thoughts properly... and creating so many misunderstanding ?
So, being the good friend that you are... you needed to EXPLAIN that blind trust wasn't what powder was inferring ?

Why don't you just tell Powder to shut up so you don't have to keep wiping his ass for him ?

If he wants to share his wisdom.. tell him to share it through you... perhaps you can do a better job telling it as it is.

Yup.. Powder + Milo = 2 idiots now.
 

momoftwo

Member
Milo.. do you know the meaning of "pick your battles" ?

People tell you to pick your battles in marriage, career, parenting, relationships etc.

It does not mean you go to war with them, silly.

really... do yourself a favor and google that term and educate yourself... so you don't come across as an uneducated fool like what you are doing now....

Wow.. I am totally appalled by the lack of intelligent males in this forum.

What are losers like you and powder doing in this forum. I wonder.
 

momoftwo

Member
Milo, it is apparent you have a TINTED perception of me.

Now if you will please practice what you preach.. you can shut your trap now.

I don't need to understand your nonsense neither do you need to understand mine.. which obviously is unable to anyway.

I have very much posted what I need to Fang. She has clearly understood my comment.

Please go ahead and enjoy Powder's company.
 

momoftwo

Member
"A working relationship involves 2 individuals that are clearly mutually understanding each other differences and needs, able to accomodate and be sensitive towards their partners."

Fang did not indicate her relationship is lacking of these elements/components. They have been together for 2 years.

her insecurity stems from the lack of communication during his stay in Sing.. which causes the doubts to arise.

I am focusing on dealing with the cause of her insecurity.

You are all over the freaking place talking about how a loving should be.

We are not teenagers.. we know what it takes to have a loving relationship.

You keep assuming that we don't know.. and keep preaching to the choir.

Try to focus on the problem.. stop preaching about life/marriage in general.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
momofwo, that's where you are dumb.... you don't even realize your sentence could be read in more one manner.

"My obsession is calling out the IDIOTS in this forum spewing tons of nonsense since.. say 2004."

instead of clarifying, you went on an attack again. How predictable.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
Stop wriggling and go back to the statement that you spoke against blind trust. Everything else are smoke screens form as a defense. You are not under attack. Just acknowledge that simple fact.

I have pointed that out so clearly since the beginning. You have chosen to make one groundless assumption after another.

"We are not teenagers.. we know what it takes to have a loving relationship.

You keep assuming that we don't know.. and keep preaching to the choir."

Thank you for that one.... its perfectly addressing your non stop stupid preaching about women's insecurity like its some ROCKET SCIENCE.

Actions speaks for itself. You have no integrity at all. You are constantly on a confrontational and argumentative mode. Go indulge in your self talk and justification. Enjoy talking to yourself moron.
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
adding on....

"oh yes.. that Danielle is only ONE"
SERIOUSLY?? only ONE? Another good joke!

"Fang did not indicate her relationship is lacking of these elements/components. They have been together for 2 years.

her insecurity stems from the lack of communication during his stay in Sing.. which causes the doubts to arise"

the more you go on, the more stupidity you are displaying. The inability to pick up obvious clues over communication barriers. Didn't you ask her why can't Fang ask him directly about his divorce? Are you really that stupid to not see how you contradicted yourself?

I really don't need to point out anything more. You are revealing all them all yourself with your continued 'preaching'. Its really free entertainment. Comic relieve. LOL
 

momoftwo

Member
Milo, i think you can stop your ranting now.
It's getting old like you.

You're the idiot who can't seem to get things right.

Why are you getting belligerent over your own stupidity ?

are you senile ?

yes of course it's very entertaining, I have two uneducated male bozos pretending to be some wise old geek and failing pitifully.
 

momoftwo

Member
yah lah yah lah.. i psycho lah.. i need to go mental hospital lah.. i siao char boh lah...i mental case lah... what else ?

that`s what loser guys say to convince themselves they are no loser.

keep telling yourself that lor.. as long as it can help you feel better about yourself.. LOL !!!
 

momoftwo

Member
讲ä¸è¿‡å°±éª‚人神ç»ï¼Œå¤ªå¹¼æ™ºäº†å§ï¼ å°ç”·äººå°±æ˜¯å°ç”·äººçš„心æ€ã€‚
 


powder

Active Member
it'll be sad to see u proceed to hell becos of all these blatant llies in posts u've made thus far, and end of the day it's just over an ego tat needs to gain recognition in the forum... there's actually other means, like being genuinely concerned instead of constantly throwing and challenging those who have been here earlier.

u're like this new ganster on the block who is eager to get into some position of power. seriously, just proceed... why the need to challenge me out of nowhere, unless u are acknowledging my presence. my appearance has been sporadic so u certainly dun have to feel threatened when u pretend to be smarter than u are.

it'll be great if u had the ability to rebutt, but fact is u dun have IT, so it gets really painful to see u trying to fit into shoes tat are too big for u.

after awhile, pple can see a tiny dog barking like a german sherpard. the series of posts u've made have been absolutely embarassing and is like this huge display of what an ugly person is.

if u were any good, u'd never need to...
1) LIE to deceive
2) garner Gender support
3) LIE to to others
4) get all emo and lose sense of reason
5) LIE to self
6) be absolutley unreasonable.

why create a war just to act like a hero... when everyone knows it was started by u?

u're living in your own fantasy world where only u count.....

real psychotic, the only person u are replacing here is clark - the repetitive midget.
 

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