momoftwo, in your response, when you wrote "your perceptions are also tinted by your personal biases", you indirectly acknowledged your tinted perception. However, you choose to be on the offensive to suggest and assume many things. I merely pointed that no one suggested blind trust.
Your assumptions uncalled for... only there as a form of retaliation. Except, you are not under attack.
"Women are doubtful creatures, because we know there's many dishonest men out there". There are also many dishonest women, it doesn't at all justify anything. We look within the relationship and not elsewhere for answers. The insecurity lies in the relationship as well as individual history. The more we understand the reasons and not push it to generic external reasons to excuse them, the clearer we are about the situation. There are many women that could trust their partners as well, they are not ignorant to the fact that there are lots of cheating men.
"The checking and investigating are to allay our doubts and fears."
The checking will be endless since you will always reason that there are many dishonest men around... No matter who they are with, how good and worthy they are. You don't even know how lame that justification is.
Trust is earned not by checking. Would an understanding and assuring partner with a suspicious wife be the same as a serial cheating liar?? With your logic, it would be the same. because there will always be dishonest men around. So, the wife should always be wary and suspicious. Trust is lost by the actions in the relationship very much how it is earned. It is 2 ways. Not just the woman waiting to approve and grant him trust. A person that mistrust without a reason within the relationship to cause her to, needs to cope with her insecurities. Yes, the partner can be understanding and assuring. However, only she can deal with her insecurities.
There is no rule to demand assurance or trust. both doesn't exist. Relationships isn't a rule where he does this and you trust him or you check him how often and therefore you can trust him.