I've been reading this forum for a while but I have never posted here. I've always thought that all these things about being the third party will never happen to me but I was so so so wrong. Before all of you start blasting at me, perhaps hear me out first. Anyway, I'm here to share, not really to seek advice. I think I know what I should be doing somehow.
To start off, I never liked people who break up others' families and will never be one. A year ago, through a casual friend, I got to know this man called A. A was everything you can ask for and needless to say, I started out a relationship with him. It was all sweet and wonderful until I got to know he's actually married for 4 years about half a year into our relationship. He blurted everything out when I kept asking him why he hadn't brought me home before or asked me to join him in family outings or for drinks with his colleagues. Since then I was resolved to end the relationship and leave him for good but each time I initiated a break up, he would keep contacting me. I gave in most of the time simply because I still have feelings for him. Infact I feel so cheated and kept asking myself what kind of shit I've gotten into by being the third party. It's been a year and now we've sort of parted. I said 'sort of' because he is still contacting me now and then. We still talk on the phone or sms but I told myself never to meet him.
This incident made me wonder if people have many misconceptions about third parties? In this case, I feel myself more of a victim than third party you know. Of course, I asked for it later on when I found it hard to leave him but trust me, I've tried really really hard and I'm still trying very hard now.
Recently, I confided in a male colleague who is quite a good friend of mine who would often listen to my relatinship problems. This colleague of mine is married himself. In the past, he would simply lend a listening ear and provide some advice sincerely. The moment he knew that I was seeing some married man, I was utterly shocked to hear his responses. One evening while sending me home, he confided in me and told me about his own marital woes and that he's been seeing some girls behind his wife's back and that this is very normal. The next thing he said still sent chills down my spine till today. He said, "You can use me. Use me to forget him. I'll be very nice to you."
My heart kind of sank after I heard that. I wonder what is this world coming to? Why is infidelity becoming more and more common? Is it really the third party's problem or are there more issues with married couples nowadays?
Any views from anyone? I feel very depressed these few days not because I couldn't be with guy A or what but I just lost faith in relationships - how longlasting can a marriage be? Will I become a victim in my own marriage in future?
To start off, I never liked people who break up others' families and will never be one. A year ago, through a casual friend, I got to know this man called A. A was everything you can ask for and needless to say, I started out a relationship with him. It was all sweet and wonderful until I got to know he's actually married for 4 years about half a year into our relationship. He blurted everything out when I kept asking him why he hadn't brought me home before or asked me to join him in family outings or for drinks with his colleagues. Since then I was resolved to end the relationship and leave him for good but each time I initiated a break up, he would keep contacting me. I gave in most of the time simply because I still have feelings for him. Infact I feel so cheated and kept asking myself what kind of shit I've gotten into by being the third party. It's been a year and now we've sort of parted. I said 'sort of' because he is still contacting me now and then. We still talk on the phone or sms but I told myself never to meet him.
This incident made me wonder if people have many misconceptions about third parties? In this case, I feel myself more of a victim than third party you know. Of course, I asked for it later on when I found it hard to leave him but trust me, I've tried really really hard and I'm still trying very hard now.
Recently, I confided in a male colleague who is quite a good friend of mine who would often listen to my relatinship problems. This colleague of mine is married himself. In the past, he would simply lend a listening ear and provide some advice sincerely. The moment he knew that I was seeing some married man, I was utterly shocked to hear his responses. One evening while sending me home, he confided in me and told me about his own marital woes and that he's been seeing some girls behind his wife's back and that this is very normal. The next thing he said still sent chills down my spine till today. He said, "You can use me. Use me to forget him. I'll be very nice to you."
My heart kind of sank after I heard that. I wonder what is this world coming to? Why is infidelity becoming more and more common? Is it really the third party's problem or are there more issues with married couples nowadays?
Any views from anyone? I feel very depressed these few days not because I couldn't be with guy A or what but I just lost faith in relationships - how longlasting can a marriage be? Will I become a victim in my own marriage in future?